Thursday, October 2, 2008

Thursday Morning Mahatma

What a strange weekend overall in football. We might have had one of the craziest weekends in college football with a number of teams choking on a chicken bone while we had a similar power shift in the NFL.

What’s this mean? Well overall we are seeing that well WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. Team A looks like world beaters one weekend and then gets murdered the next week. Team B can barely score a touchdown one week and than scores 30 the next week. It’s this increasing randomness of the game which truly brings back the old Any Given Sunday adage. Of course we all know that if Tom Brady was still playing this point would be dull and moot.

The fact of the matter is Football is becoming entirely too black and white for my good. We have the talking heads at ESPN giving out accolades left and right. The worst might have been Monday Night Football where it seemed like whoever was doing well at that moment was getting a rimjob. Can’t we admit that the season is long and that every team has strengths and weaknesses? I think I’ll have to start my ESPN ban a bit earlier rather than later. Anyway here are some power rankings:

Lucky 13 Power Rankings:

1. New York Giants (3-0). Now the class of the NFL with no weaknesses. Nope. None.

2. Tennessee (4-0). I would like for them to not play a one dimensional team so far but they haven’t and so far they are undefeated.

3. Washington (3-1). Have outplayed their opposition in the last 7 halves of football.

4. Dallas (3-1). To go from undefeated season to barely able to make the playoffs is just another week in the NFL.

5. Buffalo (4-0). I still can’t take this team seriously yet even with them being 4-0.

6. Carolina (3-1). Finally might be the year the Panthers get back to the playoffs.

7. Tampa Bay (3-1). Are they really a 3-1 team with Brian Griese at the helm?

8. San Diego (2-2). Where is all the talk about where they should be now? After last night’s bs fest, this team should be 1-3.

9. Chicago (2-2). Do they only show up to play on Sunday Night?

10. New England (2-1). The ultimate disrespect. Being #10 after being sonned by Miami.

11. Denver (3-1). Way to make the Kansas City Chiefs look like a decent team. Weren’t they supposed to be the AFC Champions?

12. Pittsburgh (3-1). This team looks like shit in national TV games. Yay Week 5 @ Jacksonville for Sunday Night Football!

13. Jacksonville (2-2). Again, David Garrard scrambles his way to victory. I wonder how many holds were on those plays? Me? Bitter? Never…



Random, Fairly Obvious Statements from Week 4:
For Jason Garrett to be proclaimed the unanimous “bestest offensive coordinator EVAR,” you’d think he’d utilize his battering ram running back just a wee bit more? Eight touches? If Jason Garrett employed the same game plan with his wife, he’d be divorced. Where’d Felix Jones’s touches go also?

Santana Moss will be sad to see Texas Stadium go. He has a made his career out of games there.
No turnovers in four games by the Redskins? Now that’s impressive. That’s also a recipe for JINX.

NFC fans should rejoice that Romo is good for one horrendous turnover a game.

Jinxed #47897549845 – Raiders vs. Chargers – I love how they flashed the fact that 45 times or whatever the Chargers have scored points in the red zone. The next play, Kaeding field goal. NO GOOD!
No Dice.

Thankfully, the last 3 weeks of Brett Favre talk is now going to be amplified thanks to a pathetic display of defense from Arizona Carinals.

Good to see that Anquan Boldin seems to be okay from the injury.

Didn’t you use to be the Denver Broncos, AFC Champions? They gave up 33 points to the Chiefs. Allowed LJ to have his best game in 2 years and couldn’t sack the nimble Damon Huard?

Didn’t you use to be Jay Cutler, next Half of Fame QB? Sure he may throw for 5,000 yards but will it matter?

Good to see Larry Johnson back in from injury. Oh wait, he’s been healthy? Last 2 seasons? Really?

Derek Anderson should thank his agent for getting him some ridiculous coin this past off-season. Everytime he drops back to pass, Browns fans hear the sound of money getting flushed down the toilet.

Ryan Grant used to be good. Didn’t he?

Was that a Brohm chant I heard in Green Bay?

Albert Haynesworth is the best defensive player in football and has been since he stomped on Andre Garude’s head.

Tavarius Jackson/Gus Frerotte: Say hello to Tim Tebow!

The Jaguars continue to win late. Have they ever won early? Oh right, it will likely be next Sunday night!

The Oakland Raiders: A Commitment to Excrement. Finding a way to lose since 2002.
Was there a difference between Trent Green and Marc Bulger?

Buffalo has had the benefit of playing a crappy schedule but it might be getting tougher?
Sun 10/5 at Arizona
Sun 10/19 San Diego
Sun 10/26 @ Miami
Sun 11/2 NY Jets
Sun 11/9 @ New England

At least, we’ll see how good they are.

Uh, hurry back Westbrook. The Eagles sorely need you.


The Official I’ve Lost it of the Week:
"We'll be ready to go. This football team will be ready to play in Dallas next week. We'll play better than we played last week and we'll play better than we played this week. We'll come home with nothing short of a victory. It's going to be a great football game."
This is BUNGLE COACH Marvin Lewis. ARE YOU INSANE? Desperate talk from a desperate man. But for that team to go in and beat a Dallas team on the road that must already be pissed off from losing to the Skins at home and with him coaching?
No Dice

Pathetic Fan of the Week from Week 4:
I have no beef with Jets fans really except when you go to Tonic East and rock the throwback jersey. Look, Tonic has its share of douchebags with their cactuses and pop collars but who would spend money on that piece of excrement jersey? Oh right the same douchebags with said cacti and popped collars which this kat was sadly sporting.


Better get on with Life’s work of the Week:
Scott Linehan – you tried but in the end you couldn’t make shit smell like roses. Linehan was a great coordinator and will likely get another shot in that role. Linehan was lacking in motivational skills, to put it charitably. The talent he had to work with was non-existant and the team desperately needs an infusion of talent all across the board. Injuries also haven’t helped the last couple of seasons. However, the most damning fact of the matter is that his players did not respond to him, showed indifference, and publicly criticized him. Without respect, a head coach is doomed and Linehan never got the team to buy into his ideas.

Better get on with Life’s work of the Week Part II:
Roethlisberger lobbied for coach Mike Tomlin and offensive coordinator Bruce Arians to try the no-huddle on the Steelers' pivotal third-quarter drive. They obliged. "We get a rhythm going," Roethlisberger said. "I like it because it's going off what I see, not necessarily what the coaches see."

Last week, I crowed how horrendous Bruce Arians was and now we see the frustration boil over. Arians again set this team behind the 8 ball and once again, relied on Ben to bail them out. Notice a pattern here with Tomlin/Arians. This team always gets behind most teams yet comes back through the No Huddle and with Ben calling his own plays. It’s time for this offense to take the training wells and allow Ben to rock out. Arians help bring along Peyton and now is the time he allows Ben that same opportunity. The offense as a whole will benefit.

Better get on with Life’s work of the Week Part III:

To Lane Kiffin, under normal circumstances I’d say you effed up too and that Charger game last Sunday was pretty awful BUT dealing with senile Al Davis is another story. Kiffin will likely get an OC job after this season. He handled the situation with Davis and went about his job and there is noticeable improvement with the Raiders period. I don’t know what Davis expects to happen with such a young team but well he is a crazy so go figure. I should have titled this better get a new job but if that’s the case I would need to do the same.

1 comment:

devo said...

Everything you said about the quality of teams being unpredictable is a)very true, and b)why the Giants game this week and frankly every game they play until they lose is going to scare the hell out of me.