Stupid White Man

So I'm in a supermarket buying some breakfast. I use the self-checkout lines to speed through. As I'm taking my change, I find $40 worth of bills in the spare change/bills section. I have 3 choices here: I can A) take the money and get myself 30 seconds with a high-class call girl (seriously, do you really need any more time than that?) B) ignore the money and let the lady behind me be in line win the low-stakes lottery or C) give the money to the store manager or anyone else i can find.

I can't believe I chose C. I took the money, gave it to the lady who was working the self-checkout area, and left. I didn't see her do anything with the money, so I'm assuming there's a 80% chance that she pocketed it. If I had to do it all over again, I probably would've taken it and given it to the homeless guy outside as BH suggested. Sure, he's only going to spend it on booze, but would I spend it on anything different?

In the meantime, I absolutely hate myself for taking the moral course of action in this instance.

Douchebags like this are why I never went South for Spring Break

For the record, the only person that I can tolerate in this video is the dude with the cooler. And even he's probably a pedophile.

Not that you should care but...

It's the First Annual Straight Up Sports Fantasy Baseball draft!

The competition this year includes Mahatma, Cawley, myself, BH, Merloni, Epstein, my cousin Jeff, Kozik, White Boy, and SHMUCK, with that being the order of the draft.

Some quick notes about the draft:

-Cawley, god bless her, is a RN at a hospital. But patients and hippocratic oath be damned, she partook in the fantasy draft. If our writing staff showed this type of loyalty to their real job, we'd have about 50 articles per week. Just saying.

-For those who didn't know what team Kozik follows, here were some of his picks: Hafner, Sizemore, Sabathia, (all taken in the first 3 rounds), Ryan Garko, and Jhonny Peralta.

-I've been drafting with SHMUCK and Epstein for years now, and 3 things will always happen in our drafts. SHMUCK will take Kenji Johjima, (13th round) I'll take Manny, (5th round) and Epstein will take his kindred spirit, David Eckstein. (8th round)

-Apparently I'm rooting for the Red Sox this year. I ended up with Manny, Beckett, Lugo, and Ellsbury.

Anyways, for those of you who fashion yourselves as SUS stalkers, we'll post the standings on the side of the website. Good luck to all!

Down goes Duke! Down goes Duke!

Big ups to BH and West Virginia, doing the lord's work and slaying one of the overrated giants of Tobacco Road in a performance that David Tyree and the New York Giants would definitely approve of. Yeah, it's Johnny Drama time:

The End of an Era. ::Yawn::

So Jason Kidd wants out of New Jersey. For what it's worth Jason Kidd helped me get back into basketball, if only for 3 or 4 seasons. And yet, I'm happy to see him on his way out. Ever since the Nets got rid of K-Mart, this team has rubbed me the wrong way. (Even if getting rid of K-Mart ended up being the right move.) I guess it all started when the Nets got rid of Byron Scott, the coach of the West-leading New Orleans Hornets. (How did that happen?) Kidd demanded that Lawrence "if Isaiah is ever fired, people will start noticing that I suck" Frank become the next head coach, and the team has toiled in slightly-better-than-mediocrity for the last few years. Oh, and who replaced the badass Kenyon Martin, who at his departure was basically Charles Oakley with a lot more talent? The gutless wonder, Vince Carter. A man who punished people who drove to the paint was replaced by someone who hadn't been in the paint since the Clinton administration. The team became very soft, and even worse, just another half court basketball team.

Rod Thorn has done everything possible to keep this team at the highest level for years, but the bottom line is that Kidd's trade demand happened one year too late. The Nets should have traded Kidd elsewhere, let Vince Carter walk, and rebuild the team with tons of cap space, hopefully lucking out and being able to snag Oden or (preferrably) Durant through the lottery.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cleanse myself after talking NBA basketball for about 30 minutes too long.

As Fred Durst once said: "Plax, shut the fuck up."

Where most of the SUS staff is comprised of Giants and Steeler fans, one of the few things that we can all agree on is our love of Plaxico Burress. (One major disagreement: Tommy Maddox circa 2k1.) No player has played through more this year and showed their true value to the team than him. But Plax, please don't give the Patriots any bulletin board material.