An Open letter to Brett Favre

Dear Mr. Favre,

Thank you for announcing your retirement today. Thanks to you, sports talk radio was forced to spend a solid 5 minutes not talking about A-Rod and how his steroid abuse has disillusioned more people than Adolf Hitler.

Sincerely,

The Unemployed Sports Fan Masses

ps-you really sucked as a Jet, douche.

Avery to resume 'sloppy seconds' with Rangers

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

There comes a time when all team's must either nut up or shut up. Time to make that run for the playoffs or make that run to the draft choice.

As the teams flounder, mess up and flail at every opportunity, a guiding light appears from the skies. This angel. This savior. This messiah. The legend. Each with the opportunity to get him.

SEAN AVERY

Except the only problem with that is Avery is now back with the evil Rangers. Let's look at some pros and cons at the return of one of SUS's favorites.

Pros:

The same asshole we bashed with reckless abandon is now back to where we grew to love him. Back rocking his red, white and blue puke jersey, Avery will soon be seen skating down Broadway. I gotta say just when I needed a jolt to jump start my hating again, Avery and the Rangers come through as only they can. I'll admit I was getting a little soft with the whole Steelers winning so any opportunity to return to my bitter past help.

As I've long stated, hockey needs more villains and having Avery back is a breathe of fresh air. Sure, after a couple of stories, I'll become annoyed with him again but for now it's good for Avery to be back. Something about him being in Dallas never quite worked out for anyone involved. Sure controversy followed but it just wasn't the same. Avery is a New York guy. He's not a Dallas guy. He can't intern at Vogue there. He can swap fashion tips with Jerry Jones.


Cons:

1) It makes the Rangers stronger. Yes your New York Rangers are busy speed dialing the Dallas Stars in an attempt to get back their Vogue-interning hero back. Why? Avery was for the most part a good citizen on the Rangers and a damn good player. While much has been made of Avery's butchering of the Good ol' Dallas Stars chemistry, he did quite the opposite for the Rangers. Now that Avery has left, the Rags are once again in a state of flux despite having one of the more talented teams in the Eastern conference. The Rangers currently are also in a worse state of flux. Changing of "strategy" has yielded the same results. Unending line changes haven't found the right mix. The players have tuned out the coach. Morale is low. Some say acquiring Avery would destroy the chemistry as he did with the Stars. What if there is no chemistry to destroy? By grabbing him again, the Rangers are giving their own floundering team the boost of energy they need.

2) The team toughness Rangers had last year is now filled with guys that are soft as a new pillow (Zherdev, Naslund, Redden) while the toughness last year (Shanahan, Avery) were sent packing. Reacquiring Avery will give the top 6 some added toughness. Avery fights in the corners and does well in front of the net. These sort of guys are vital to long playoff runs.

3) Scoring depth -- People call Avery a glorified 3rd liner with attitude but he is actually a fairly skilled hockey player. Armed with above average wheels, a decent shot and some finishing ability. It's not like he's TO and pouts at the slightest bit of trouble. Avery does work hard. Not only that but he is the game's best agitator. He is a pest and gets the best players off their game.



4) No lose situation -- so you acquire Avery and you still suck and move one step closer to acquiring the "next-next-next-one" John Tavares.

Damn, this totally brings the Rangers back into the fore front on paper. Whether he can mesh with his new teammates is another story but all of us, Penguins, Flyers (Douches), Devils fans should be worried. If anything, he would provide some drama and entertainment, which today's lifeless Rangers need. I'm just pissed the Penguins didn't sign him. Ah well, at least I can use this photoshop again.

Lions already screwing up in 2009

This would be the same Roy Williams that was traded oh maybe 4 months ago, who is the featured athlete on the team's 2009 calendar. Well done, Lions promotional team, well done.

The Sammy Knight Era: We Hardly Knew Ye

See that helmet being elbowed? That's Sammy Knight. That's as close as I could come to a photo of Sammy Knight in blue.


Upon hearing the news that beloved Charger, Sammy Knight, was cut by the Giants yesterday, most of Big Blue Nation responded with a resounding "oh, right, we signed him last off-season, didn't we?" Some cap casualties have been greeted with sadness by Giants fans, (see: Simms, Phil) while others have been greeted with tears of joy. (See: Petitgout, Luke) But Sammy Knight is a revolutionary of sorts; he is the first cap casualty whose most newsworthy moment with the team was being cut, if only because it reminded fans that he existed.

The Giants also cut ties with Reuben Droughns, a move that came approximately twelve months later than expected, and Sam Madison, who based on his plummeting depth chart status, was involved in a Hideki Matsui-like decline.

In related news, the Giants currently have 1 running back signed for next year, and he still has to serve some of his offseason in the Virginia Penal System before he can resume his career. So yeah, any time Reese wants to re-sign Jacobs, feel free.

You Can't Sweep This Under the Rug

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not an A-fraud fan or apologist. Ive delighted in 5 solid years of suckery by him in pinstripes. From Tek putting his glove in Gay-Rods grill to the bitchiest play ever seen in baseball, "the slap heard round the world", I have been rooting for the frosted tip dickless wonder to fail, and have been richly rewarded. But even I have to call shenanigans on this outing of his 2003 positive steroid test.

Don't get me wrong, I still think taking steroids is cheating(Steroids ARE against the rules and the law, pretty clear. We can debate whether that should be the case some other time.). And though Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have shown that even some of the best players in history will resort to drugs to continue their careers, theres something about Arod getting outed that shocked me. He was the guy everyone was expecting to clear the taint from the home run record when he passed Bonds in a couple years. Now, you cynical fucks will call me naive for thinking Arod didn't "juice" but I guarantee every one of you said the same thing. As much as I like seeing him fail in the clutch and in the playoffs, even I admit the guy was a regular season monster. A pure numbers machine who you could at least respect for consistent production, even if he does like "mannish blonde women".

So what this comes down to for me is this: I want this steroids thing to be over. The guessing, the accusations, the denials, all of it is distracting and doesn't actually help anyone except bloodsucking journalists who feed off the strife and misery of their fellow humans. Curt Schilling is right, this is bullshit that only Arod gets outed from this list. I want to see the whole list, and I don't care if David Ortiz, Mike Lowell and Trot Nixon are on it. Sunshine is the best disinfectant and it is the only thing that will begin to clean up this mess that MLB and the Players Association have created. MLB sat back and reaped record profits as their biggest stars cheated their way into the record books while the MLBPA protected the cheaters from consequences at the expense of the vast majority of their members. Every executive, labor official and yes, player has done wrong here. In fact, the only people who have come clean have done so under threat of jail time, until Arod. And Ill give him credit for that. But I want to know who else is hiding something, and frankly, I don't give a shit what the agreement for drug testing was in '03. There is only one solution to this crisis, and its the one I said when all this bullshit started like 5 years ago: Wipe the records clean and start over, testing every player, every month, every season. You cant trust anyone involved in this as far as you can throw them.

ENOUGH!

Main Entry: drama queen
Part of Speech: N
Definition: any person who overreacts to a minor problem or situation

Look Ben, I love you and all but quit being a drama queen.

NEW YORK (TICKER) —The Super Bowl game-winning drive orchestrated by quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will go down as one of the best in history. It’s even more impressive in the wake of learning that Roethlisberger played the game with at least two small rib fractures. SI.com reported that Roethlisberger’s injury was discovered following an MRI exam on the Thursday after Super Bowl XLIII. “Luckily, in the game, I didn’t take any big hits to make ‘em hurt,” Roethlisberger told the web site. “But I knew all along there was something wrong. There wouldn’t have been anything they could have done about fractured ribs anyway. It was just suck it up and play.” Roethlisberger drove the Steelers 78 yards for the winning touchdown, connecting with Santonio Holmes on a 6-yard scoring pass with 35 seconds left in the Steelers’ 27-23 victory over the Arizona Cardinals. Prior to the Super Bowl, Roethlisberger underwent X-rays of the rib area, which were negative. He had absorbed a crunching hit to the back early in the AFC championship game against the Baltimore Ravens.

Didn't we already know his ribs were banged up anyway? I mean wasn't there a widestorm panic on Friday when he went to have an MRI done? And wasn't it deemed you were about as probable as you ever are going to be.

Look as a Steeler fan it pains me to suggest my QB is a bit of a prima donna but look all of the good ones are: Tawm Brady, Peyton, Favre, Eli but still. It just bothers me that my QB has to remind everyone that he was injured. Dude isn't everyone injured in the playoffs? I'm sure James Harrison is playing on a screwd up ankle but he still rumbled 100 yards. The point is this. We won and I'm greatful and happy that god willing, I'll be able to watch the guy play for another 10 years but isn't it better to know you completed the "drive" without being the center of attention. You weren't even that HURT!!! It's kind of like the guy in highschool that got it on with the head cheerleader and told everyone x145565 times about it. Look it's great and all but shut up. Isn't it much better knowing that you did it while maintaining a shit eating grin and not telling a soul.

As always, maybe that's just me. I guess win or lose, Ben will always tell everyone he's hurt. That's just who he is. I'm okay with this as long as the superbowls keep coming. Ah, whom am I kidding? The reality is, you've won a pass from me forever, Ben and you've shown the world you are a tough SOB, even if you like the attention.

Devo's Pro Bowl Diary

1ST QUARTER



Wow, who knew a game without blitzing or even receivers going in motion wouldn't be exciting? Oh, right...

Football Final Thoughts

So the football season has finally ended, and it has done so in a great victory as the Pittsburgh Steelers emerged victorious making a full half of the SUS staff happy and in need of cleaning their pants. But as we shut down our football thoughts until free agency and concentrate on other sports such as hockey (which yours truly is finding incredibly frustrating because of the Penguins, but that’s another story), we of course need to get our final thoughts in.


The Steelers Offensive Line Held
Who the hell would have thought this? After getting owned all year round by nearly every team, the offensive line, as effective as a French military defense, actually held their own during the last few games of the season and the playoffs to help pull off the Super Bowl win. Now don't get me wrong, they still stink and need a revamp, but it’s just amazing the Steelers were able to win with such mediocrity up front. They have to be smart and not rest on their laurels and get some help for Ben.


Ken Whisenhunt made me hate him
I’ve never harbored ill will to cheese Whiz (though Mahatma has had enough for both of us not to mention every non Whisenhunt hater), but for whatever reason just seeing that man pissed me off during the SB. I don't know what it was, but seeing him was like instant hate. I wanted to punch him. But everything turned out okay and he went home crying.


Ray Ray wants his Pay Pay
For those that haven’t heard, Ray Lewis, who murdered two people and got away with it (just like OJ mind you), has publicly stated he is not willing to take a pay cut to stay with the Ratbirds. I have to say I’m surprised. I mean all we ever hear about this man is how good a captain he is and that he is a good person etc. And you’d think maybe after earning around $50mm in his previous contracts that he would say “hey, maybe I’ll take a million or two less to stay with the team I love and been the center of for a decade.” Nope. I have nothing against s player trying to get the most money, but I’m hoping Ratbird fans finally wake up and see “geez, maybe he really isn’t the good guy we thought he was and have been defending, and really is the selfish murderer that everyone says he is.”


Pendergast gets the Shaft
Clancy Pendergast, in addition to having a name that made him the butt end of many jokes during his pre-college school years, was handed another shot to the sack by being fired as the Cardinals defensive coordinator. Had the Cardinals held on the Steelers final drive he’d have a job, but instead Whisenhunt made him the scapegoat and gave him a pink slip. Never mind the fact it was the fifth time THIS SEASON Roethlisberger helmed a fourth quarter comeback win, it was Pendergast’s fault. Whiz said they wanted to do it now so he still had time to get a job, despite the fact many teams have already filled their vacancies. Nice job there Whiz.

Mike Tomlin is the Shaft of the NFL
This man is just awesome. While most coaches jump up and down yelling “I won the Super Bowl!” Tomlin walks calmly with authority, raising his arms in the air saying “you’re damn right I just won the Super bowl!” like you doubted he ever would. And speaking of Tomlin…


We can Officially call him a great coach
And I base this solely on the fact that Bill Cowher is considered a great coach. Cowher won a single title in his fifteen years, and it only took Tomlin two years to do it. Tomlin also accomplished something Cowher was never able to: not horribly choking in and AFC Championship game. So the way I see it is, if Cowher is considered a great coach based on what amounts to a single accomplishment, then there is no reason Tomlin shouldn’t be considered a great coach for doing it in a fraction of the time.


Fitzgerald is awesome
And any doubts you could have had were wiped out during the Super Bowl. Man is just great, and a good person to boot. If you don't want him on your team there is something wrong with you.


That San Antonio guy for the Steelers is pretty good too
Santonio Holmes took the MVP of the game, even though I think Ben should have taken it by the slightest of margins. Still, he helped make that last drive with his catches and he came through. Mahatma hasn’t stop his exulting of Santonio since he was drafted, and I think he had to throw out his pants after the drive.


Anquon Boldin proves he’s full of shit
Boldin said that the damage done between him and the Cardinals is irreparable, and that it’s nothing to do with money. Anquon has apparently forgotten that, despite signing a binding contract, the whole situation started when he began to demand more money. He’s says they didn’t hold up their part of the bargain, which was to negotiate to give him more money. So how is it that despite the whole situation revolving around money it’s not about the money? I get your point Anquon but the fact is it all started with you wanting a bigger payday, and that makes it about the money whether you feel wronged or not.


Raiders make Jim Cable full head coach, schedule press conference on November 12 to announce his firing
People must be desperate for jobs if at this point they're willing to go or stay with the Raiders. After seeing what Al Davis did with Kiffin how can anyone want to deal with that? Especially how it has come out that he still calls down plays and wants everything done his way. Will anyone be surprised if Cable is fired before the year is out?


Dan Rooney is in fact dead
Have you seen this man? He looks like a freakin’ puppet the way he moves. There is just no life to this man at all, and I swear at times I can see the puppet strings used to make him move. I think it would be sweet if the guy they used to do his voiceover was replaced with Peter Cullen doing Optimus Prime’s voice. Oh, and thanks Dan for thanking the fans that have helped make the Steelers AFTER you thanked your new pal President Obama. Douche.

James Harrison is your new God.

Bow before him, just like the entire Caridnals offense:

For the 43rd year in a row, the Refs won the Super Bowl for a team
It’s absurd now. Every freaking year we have to hear how the winning teams best player on the field was the twelth man: the referee. They continue to list the missed calls against the winning team yet never mentioned the missed calls against the losers. Tell in, helping the Steelers why didn’t the refs call Kurt Warner for removing his helmet on field when they called James Farrior for it? Why was Fitzgerald not penalized for running out of bounds then tackling James Harrison? You never hear these things because they people that claim this are idiots. Refs are bad. Always have been, always will be. It’s called human error. Get over it. I’m sick of hearing the same bullshit excuses every year, especially since those making the claims blatantly ignore evidence to the contrary.


Finally I’d just like to say what a calendar year it’s been for SUS football. First the Giants against all odds pull out a last minute win against the ever classless and cheating Patriots, and a year later the Steelers come up with a last minute “my god we almost choked the game away” drive nearly identical to beat the Arizona “would someone please care about us” Cardinals. Of course, should the Steelers and Giants ever meet in the Super Bowl, the website just may tear itself apart.


And One More Thing

This isn’t football related, but also not worthy of its own post. Tiger Woods announced this week that his is practicing ”full blow” in order to return. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: It’s fucking golf! What are you doing Tiger, playing 18 holes instead of nine? How excruciating that must be for you. This again lends credence to my theory that Tiger Woods is in fact not a human but actually a giant vagina.

Is A-Rod a victim?

In a word? YES.

Look, the only reason that this evidence got out was because someone was out to destroy A-Rod. A-Rod failed the 2003 test, not a 2007 test. The 2003 tests were made to determine HOW MANY players took steroids, not WHO took steroids. A-Rod was supposed to simply be a statistic, helping MLB determine IF they should follow through with steroid testing. The simple fact is that the test was taken under the assumption that those involved would remain anonymous.

The best analogy one can make is to a clinical medical test. In those tests, the patients are always kept anonymous, and it is their results that are used to come up with a conclusion. Likewise, in this example, the names of the players should have remained anonymous. Only their results should have been made public. I don't think this is illegal, but it is extremely unethical to release names of those involved in clinical trials. Whoever is responsible for releasing A-Rod's name should be barred from practicing medicine. You could even make an argument that they acted more unethically than A-Rod in their actions.

One last thing. Jon Heyman of SI writes that the MLB Players Union is to blame for A-Rod's name getting out there. Maybe this is true, but it doesn't change the fact that A-Rod is a victim. If he failed a test in 2007, then his name should have been made public. But the fact that his name was made public when he was essentially part of a clinical study is bullshit. And someone, not A-Rod, should lose their job over this.

US PEOPLE CALL FOR LYNCHING OF A-ROD, ROID ABUSER...

And I'm right there with them...so long as we also lynch everyone who has ever smoked a joint and every 18 year old who has banged a 15 year old. Because in victimless crimes, society is the true victim!

And if SI is going to out one guy, they should feel free to out the other 103 who also failed the drug tests in '03.

You really should be outside since it's going to be 10 degrees again in 2 days...

but if you need a video to waste 1:30 of your day here you go:



Bravo on the parody.

Oh and the PRO BOWL IS TONIGHT! Get your DVRs ready!

What Really Grinds My Gears

Yea my picture has a dog in it. I love dogs. Got a freakin problem with that??

(1) I am not even a Mets fan but the Mets not even talking to Manny is so idiotic it borders on insanity- This is becoming so absurd it is now comical; that is unless you are a Mets fan. Fuck that, I’m upset about it even as a Yankee fan! I just can’t understand why the Mets won’t even talk to Manny. It’s pretty simple, if the Mets get Manny they become the best team in the National League hands down. Manny almost took LA to the World Series with a significantly less talented roster. The Mets always seem to pick the wrong player and the wrong time to Penny pinch (see Guerrero 04).



(2) Dream week becoming a nightmare- Ugh; the Laker game really and truly does not bother me. The Lakers just went into Boston and ended the champs 12 game streak. This LA team might beat Boston in this year’s finals. The Knicks are supposed to get blown out in that game. However, the loss to Cleveland Wednesday night was an absolute heartbreaker as far as regular season games go. Down only 2 with about 1:10 left, Al Harrington misses a wide open 3, this after already compiling 39 points and shooting almost flawlessly throughout the balance of the contest to that point. Then, down 4 with 40 seconds to go, he misses another wide open 3 that would have made the game a virtual deadlock. Say what you will about not doubling Lebron and letting him score 50, if Al makes those two clean looks, the Knicks would have already guaranteed the 1 win it needed during “Hell week.” That said, I am eerily optimistic going into tonight’s contest, which I am attending with White Girl, due to Boston being fatigued and/or lacking in motivation after a brutal overtime loss to the 2009 NBA champs, there I said it.



(3) Stop with the 04 Jeter Sox July play canonizing!- Okay, Donny “Pucks” Lagreca nailed it a few minutes ago on 1050. He said, “When that guy said that the 2004 Jeter catch against Boston made him go from an icon to a legend, I nearly threw up in my mouth.” I love Derek but that was one of the most overrated plays in sports history. It won a regular season game and Jeter didn’t dive into the stands. On this play, Derek made a running catch and because he was charging so hard his momentum carried him into the first row of seats forcing him to leave the game with bad facial cuts. That is actually what happened (watch the replay people!). Donnie was right that the only thing any Yankee fan thinks about when they recall 2004 is that they regret that this year has not yet been expunged from his/her memory.



(4) When Olberman and Maddow are on vacation, they need wayyyyy better replacements- David Shuster?? Ariana Huffington??!! Are you kidding me???!! Ariana Huffington is a fine writer and blogger but she is a horrid speaker and host. Her voice never changes pitch or tone and she struggles putting sentences together orally. However, at least she is good at something unlike David Shuster. This guy is, simply put, really boring. Say what you will about Keith but he’s very entertaining if not easy to make fun of (see very funny SNL skit with Ben Affleck.) WFAN employs the right strategy of moving everybody up a slot when Mike “ I need a co-host because my show sucks ass right now” Francessa goes on one of his much needed vacations. MSNBC, take your cue from WFAN. (Wow I never thought anyone would type that sentence)

(5) Thanks Metallica for Ruining the Superbowl and thanks Super bowl for ruining my only chance to ever see Metallica- I realize that I could have just chosen one of these two options on Sunday night and just enjoyed whichever event I chose to focus on. However, I took the, “I’m going to try and experience both and be bitter that I missed out on key elements of both of them approach”. The guy who comes up with the names is on vacation. Although I now understand how amazing the Prudential center is and it is phenomenal, I couldn’t enjoy the concert that much because I was obsessing about what was going on in the game. Then, after Ben led the Steelers down the field for another impressive game winning drive, I was a bit down the rest of the concert because my one year of bragging rights over Mahatma and Iowa were a thing of the past. By the time I got past this, Metallica was already into its encore of songs from Garage Inc. I have never heard before. Would it have killed you to do a song from “Ride the Lighting” like For whom the Bell Tolls or a classic like “Battery.”?? That said, it was a great freaking Superbowl and I got to see my favorite band live. But would it have been better to see them before Hetfield’s vocal range was cut by 2/3 of its previous size? Sure. Would it have been better if both Zona won and I didn’t miss most of the 4th quarter? Yea.

Bonus neutral comment- I realized while eating at my favorite Puerto Rican restaurant, “El Molino Rojo”, a place right outside Yankee Stadium that my father and I affectionately refer to as “Cuchi Fritos”, that the first CD to be released by my new band, “The Jerry Jones Experience” (See some post I did in December) will be titled, “Greetings from El Molino Rojo.” I greatly apologize to the late great Jimi Hendrix and the living legend Bruce Springsteen for blatantly ripping you both off.

Reasons for a self-loathing Yankee fan to hate every Yankee

Ok, this guy's not exactly of the self-loathing mold, but look at the tool on his left who gets to sit next to the greatest current NBA baller?


The other day, I did my part to stimulate the economy by trying to spend a $50 MLB gift card. But a funny thing happened-I couldn't find any Yankee stuff worth buying. Basically, each Yankee numbered t-shirt I found, I gave myself a seemingly rational excuse not to show my love for that player. It made me realize two things:

1. I hope this is the year that the NHL postseason lasts until August.
2. I probably hate every player on this Yankee team.

Time to prove #2! First the position guys:

Jorge Posada
-For a guy who was here for the World Series years, find me a big hit he had between '98 and '01. Sure, he had a big hit vs. Boston in '03, but didn't '04 pretty much nullify anything positive from '03?
-So he's coming off of major surgery? Good, I hear most guys who are 37 respond well to surgery in the post-steroids era.
-And the starting Yankee catcher is 37? How many catchers still catch (or hit) effectively at this age?
-So Posada is an old veteran who can still hit well enough that he should be a DH? I wonder if the Yankees have any more of these guys. I bet we'll find out.

Mark Texiera

Fill in the blank: In first baseman ______________ the Yankees are getting a guy who is the best hitter available in the free agency market. Sure, they signed him to a longer deal than normal, but as long as he continues to hit as he has, this shouldn't be a problem, should it? I mean, after all, he's a nice enough guy, who cares if he makes more than the Zimbabwe GDP? What can go wrong?

A: I would have accepted Jason Giambi or Mark Texiera

Robinson Cano
Let's just say that the first pitch of the MLB season is a few months away, and Cano is already trying to swing at it. And this from the most successful Yankee hitting prospect since his double play partner.

Derek Jeter
As a kid who first started following the Yankees around 1993, I always referred to Mattingly as Donnie Backache more than Donnie Baseball. Likewise, there's an 11 year old out there who must be wondering how someone who hits into double plays as much as Derek Jeter is so loved by the hometown faithful. And I'm not saying Jeter is a lousy defensive shortstop, but it was unreal watching light hitting Alberto Gonzalez play the position last year, if only to see how much range an average shortstop actually has.

A-Rod
Too easy. But let's just put the over/under on the number of double plays or strikeouts vs. the Red Sox after the sixth inning next year for A-Rod is 14. And I'm taking the over.

Johnny Damon
In Damon's defense, he's a pretty good leftfielder. But he's also the starting centerfielder. And Damon's a pretty clutch player, but can someone who's not the leadoff hitter please be the most clutch Yankee hitter? And he's going to be hurt at some point next year where he's going to have to DH at certain points. So that's one more guy who is going to be DH-ing along with Posada.

Brett Gardner
Apparently he's the top Yankee prospect. In related news, he's a .228 hitter with a .283 on base percentage. And that's after he had a very good September. He's a very fast player with a solid arm who has a ceiling as a .280 hitter. What, exactly, can this guy do that Melky can't?

Xavier Nady
Eh, I'm ok with this guy. In related news, the Yankees are trying to trade him. Smart.

Hideki Matsui
There was a time when Matsui was a fairly good outfielder. Unfortunately, that time has passed. And if the Yankees want Posada's bat in the lineup for more than 80 games, this guy's going to have to play left field. Everything about his outfield play sucks: how he handles fly balls, his arm, his speed, everything. And we're going to have to see him in the outfield for about 30-40 games if not more. Should've traded him years ago, but the Steinbrenners need that Japanese money. 3rd guy, along with Damon and Posada who's going to need significant time at DH if the Yanks want to see his bat.

Signing Day Nets WVU the Next Pat White

Our mascot rules because he wears a dead animal as a hat and shoots a gun when we score. He is A MAN!!!

Eugene Smith of Miramar, FL, the #3 rated QB in this years senior class is locked in to attend West Virginia University, ensuring another 4 years of dominance over The University of New Jersey.



Also among the haul are 3 four-star WRs, including Smiths favorite target at Miramar, an elite DE prospect from Phoenix and a RB from Baltimore(you know hes been running away from aggressive drug dealers and bad influences like Ricky Baker, so hes fast). All in all, a great group to coach up into West Virginia's first National Champion. As the winningest D-1 football program without a title, its about damn time. Lets Go--Mountaineers!!!

Stop me if you've heard this before...

-A-Rod is insanely insecure about himself, is jealous of Jeter, and cares more about stats than the team.
-David Wells chose to be an asshole.
-Kevin Brown was an asshole by birth.
-Randy Johnson was too old and didn't handle the media well.
-Carl Pavano has no friends.
-Doug Mientkiewicz and Josh Phelps aren't as feared by opposing pitchers as Bernie Williams.
-Brian Cashman has made some awful pitching acquisitions since '03.
-Some of the Yankee front office in Tampa are assholes who don't know what they're doing.

Did people not already know this just by following the Yankees for the last 8 years? I'm waiting for Torre's scandalous tell-all from his Dodger years, Manny Ramirez is not a Normal Person.

Odds for Superbowl XLIV

New England Patriots	8/1
Dallas Cowboys	9/1
New York Giants	10/1
Pittsburgh Steelers	10/1
Indianapolis Colts	12/1
San Diego Chargers	12/1
Baltimore Ravens	14/1
Tennessee Titans	16/1
Carolina Panthers	18/1
Philadelphia Eagles	18/1
New Orleans Saints	20/1
Atlanta Falcons	25/1
Denver Broncos	25/1
Green Bay Packers	25/1
Jacksonville Jaguars	25/1
Minnesota Vikings	25/1
New York Jets	25/1
Arizona Cardinals	30/1
Chicago Bears	30/1
Tampa Bay Buccaneers	30/1
Buffalo Bills	35/1
Houston Texans	35/1
Miami Dolphins	35/1
Washington Redskins	35/1
Seattle Seahawks	50/1
Cleveland Browns	55/1
Cincinnati Bengals	60/1
San Francisco 49ers	60/1
Oakland Raiders	75/1
St. Louis Rams	75/1
Detroit Lions	100/1
Kansas City Chiefs	100/1

Good to know Tom Brady's injury is progressing better than scheduled and the Pats in a mere month have already fixed their terrible secondary. Also good to know that the Cowboys are well on their way to getting into the playoffs after getting embarrassed in December. Boy, so much can change in a month.

Sports Figures We Wouldn't Wish On Our Worst Enemies

Being sports fans we all have to deal with our teams employing a player, coach, or GM that constantly infuriate us. But every once in a while we get a person that transcends mere infuriation. It turns into pure unadulterated hate, so much so that we wouldn’t even wish this person onto our most hated rivals. We would actually rather have this person out of the league so we never have to lay eyes upon their wretched hides than have them go to even our most hated teams and ruin them. And let me tell you, us here at SUS are very bitter and vengeful, so this says a lot.

Click here to see who Mahatma wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.
Click here to see who Yinzer wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.


Will Allen

White Boy had a theory that held up for most of Allen’s time in blue. Every pass that Allen should pick off would be batted down. Every pass that Allen should bat down would be caught. This theory held up nicely until Allen’s last year here, when Allen would nearly pick off a pass, the ball would go through his hands, and the opposing wr would catch the ball. So it would go from a pick to a completion. Oh, and have I mentioned that Allen, during most of this time, was our #1 cornerback?

(But the worst part? Allen was tantalizingly FANTASTIC in Madden. I remember one season I had with him where he had 7 interceptions for 7 touchdowns. In the early ‘00’s, I would get him up to a 99 rating in 2 seasons, max. Oh, the pain!)

Steve Thomas


For a scorer, Thomas sure had a tendency to miss the net. And by missing the net I mean taking a shot from the slot and having the puck go into the stands. And oh-by-the-way, this is the guy the Devils got in a trade for Conn Smythe winner Claude Lemieux after the ’95 season. When Pepe was traded, it was one of three times in which I full-out cried over a sporting event. And bringing in Steve Thomas to apparently give out pucks to the Devil faithful wasn’t the best way to replace Lemieux. Fuck this, I actually would love to see the Rangers offer this guy a 5 year $10 million contract.

Kelly Stinnett

Look, I’m ok with backup catchers sucking. But if a backup catcher is going to suck he has to at least be either a) young so there’s at least hope for improvement, no matter how false said hope turns out to be (see: Nieves, Wil) or b) a veteran who has had some good years who can impart some veteran wisdom on the current catcher. Stinnett was the worst of both worlds-he was an old backup catcher who never truly had a prime. Unless he’s going to experience his best season at the age of 40, having a 35 year old backup catcher who is yet to experience his ‘prime’ is just a waste of a roster spot. Somewhere out there, Wil Nieves has kids to feed.

Jimmy of Playmakers fame

Now before you start scouring IMDB for a show named Playmakers, stop. The Playmakers was the intramural football team that Mahatma, BH and I were on for roughly three years in college. Well ok, Mahatma and BH were only around for two years due to a torn acl and sabbatical, respectively. Our team was solid, putting forth a Warren Moon-Houston Oilers type run of getting into the playoffs but never being able to get over the hump. Man, those championship t-shirts would’ve been sweet.

But this isn’t about us, it’s about our wide receiver Jimmy. Jimmy was a Plax-like 6’4 but a Shawn Bradley-esque 120 lbs. But he was fast. Due to his speed, he would inevitably get open. And even if he wasn’t open, he was still tall enough to catch a jump ball over the cornerbacks. How did we know that he was always open? HE TOLD US EVERY F*$KIN TIME HE CAME BACK TO THE HUDDLE. So inevitably the quarterback would throw it to him, hit him in stride, Jimmy would get his hands on the ball…and he’d drop it. And then when the quarterback looked the other way the next throw? Hey guys, I’m open! And the QB would throw it his way, it would get dropped, and this cycle would repeat itself over and over again. Professional or not, I still wouldn’t wish Jimmy on my worst enemy.

Who Knew?

That a game featuring the ARIZONA CARDINALS was the highest watched superbowl of all time!

Nielsen said 98.7 million people, on average, were watching Pittsburgh’s exciting 27-23 victory Sunday night. That beats the 97.5 million who watched the 2008 game, which held the record for most popular Super Bowl.

On Monday, Nielsen had reported that this year’s game had 95.4 million viewers—impressive, but not a record-setter.

Granted this was an epic game compared to many of the 42 other blowouts the superbowl has seen. It's still interesting to see all those people who said last year's game was a better story (and it was) with better teams (probably also true) but still lost the ratings battle. For the record, it is strange to me. The storylines for this one weren't as good as last year nor were the teams. So why did more people tune in? Maybe it was for the commercials or the wonderful insights of John Madden, or maybe it was a damn good game. Maybe it was less people going to the bar or maybe some people didn't have concerts to attend. Whatever the reason may be, the unwashed masses turned out to see it. This totally gives CBS, next year, the option to charge 4 million dollars per ad spot and shove Jim Nantz down our throats. Can't wait!

Still though, isn't it weird to know that a superbowl featuring a unsexy Steeler team and a Cardinal team that didn't look like they belong is now the most watched Superbowl of all time?

Hate the Steelers?

Than follow this handy chart for how you can argue with Steeler fans. The photo was thiefed from here but was too good to not post.

Number Six