Saturday, August 2, 2008

Sometimes, Journalists Can Surprise You

The other day I came across this Article from the Hockey News writer Adam Proteau. The thing about this article is that he points out the shitty ass comments people put forth constantly in hate mail and message boards, and gives the response of basically "go fuck yourself." You never see articles like this from writers. To me Proteau is hit or miss. Sometimes he sounds like an expert and others you just scracth your head at him. But he hit the nail on the head with this article (which I assure you is 100% true in hockey circles), and I have to give him kudos for it. Mahatma and Devo can abck me up on these phrases being uttered from many hockey fans. I've copied the article below completely unedited for your viewing pleasure.

Before I became immersed in the lucrative, groupie-laden, glamorous world of sports journalism, I dabbled in government work, a career choice that afforded me a fair amount of insight into the often-depressing realities of dealing with the almost-always angry general public on a daily basis.

Even with that background, I never was fully prepared to deal with the hate mail that is virtually guaranteed to come your way as an Internet-era sportswriter. Thanks to the tribalism involved and inherent in pro sports, the level of vitriol and sheer rage displayed and conveyed by those whose technological savvy is limited to knowing where the “on” and “send” functions are located on their computer would send a shiver down the spine of even the most desensitized misanthrope.

I don’t mind angry criticisms from readers if they are creatively expressed. Unfortunately, a good chunk of emailers fall into the same old, staid, rhetorical traps that barely cause a mental ripple among seasoned hate mail recipients like yours truly, madly and deeply.

Therefore, in the hope of raising the level of feedback-related discourse for the upcoming season, I’m going to list a handful of the most-used, least-effective hate-mail techniques and demonstrate the complete absence of imagination and logic that goes into them.

1. The “So-Called Experts.”
An expert? Lil’ old moi? I don’t recall ever referring to myself in such a manner, but even if I did, the term “expert” doesn’t entail 100 percent accuracy in the field of predictions, nor does it assure me of being forever infallible in asserting or defending my theories or opinions.Don’t forget, Bob Goodenow was considered a labor-relations expert at one point, too. Anyway, if I’m an expert at anything, I’d like to think I’m an expert with the English language. If you don’t believe that, I kindly invite you to masticate my nates.

2. ‘Nuff Said.
I always wished anyone who used this line – and then usually went on to write a 650-word treatise on what they just claimed to have said enough about – would’ve thought it in their head and simply left it at that. Know what the universal symbol among intelligent people is for “nuff said?” A period! And I don’t mean 20 minutes of hockey.

3. I’ll Never Get Back The 10 Minutes Of My Life I Spent Reading That.
I’ll accept this one as legit if you can tell me exactly what part of your life you can get a redeemable refund for.

4. Do you even watch hockey? Alternate version: Have you even played hockey?
These two vapidities share something in common with the “so-called experts” putdown, because at the core of all three lies the assumption you must have played the game at an elite level to be able to comment on it. Indeed, that philosophy is held by a select, arrogant few in the NHL community. And that’s why anytime someone – like a handful of TV analyst/former player types I won’t name – looks down his nose at hockey writers for the sole reason they weren’t a former teammate or member of the NHLPA, I have to laugh.The day those ex-players (or for that matter, readers who don’t know their “you’re” from they’re “your”) show the capability of forming coherent, engaging thoughts with printed/typed words is the day I’ll believe they could do my job. The lesson: A little mutual respect will get you a long way in this business.

5. This Is The Worst Thing I’ve Ever Read In My Life.
Honestly? Have you by chance flipped through Mein Kampf? Or Gary Bettman’s Guide to Scrutinizing Potential NHL Owners? Take it from a seasoned hyperbolist – even hyperbole has its limits.

6. Can I Have Some Of What You’ve Been Smoking?
This one isn’t limited to the sports world, but I’ve never quite understood the rationale behind it. On the one hand, you’re ridiculing one of my ideas by implying I was in some terribly altered state; but in the same breath, you’re telling me you found it interesting enough to request some of my stash. Can’t have it both ways, my friend!

It's about to pour so I might as well write another pointless blog...

One of our favorite things to do on this site is to bash ex rag, Sean Avery. Apparently, after doing such a fine job at Vogue, Avery also decided to continue his fashion exploits by dating Calvin Klein's ex-wife, Kelly Klein.

Apparently, she's 51 years old while Avery is 28. Hmm.. I don't know what to think about this. On one hand, Avery is a douchebag but on the other hand, I'm all about cougars.


But I guess after dating Michelle Tanner, he might as well try the exact opposite and since Avery is no longer a Rag, I could finally ease up on him a little bit.

Ah well, here's to you Sean. You'd make the MILF guy in American Pie very happy.


There are very few times when I have very little to say but this video takes that notion to the test. I'm speechless. This is one of the many reasons I don't go Jersey unless bagels and lox are involved.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Top 5 moments of the Manny Ramirez era, as told by a Yankee fan

Look, as a Yankee fan, it's easy to look back upon the Manny Ramirez era with disgust, knowing that during Manny's tenure, they have taken away the Yankees' title as the class of Major League Baseball. That said, I enjoyed the Manny era. Without further ado, a Yankee fan's top 5 favorite moments of the Manny Ramirez in Boston Era:

1. He whose name we dare not mention's slightly inside pitch in the 2003 ALCS that created this brawl.

2. Manny's near home run, which Melky took away, jumpstarting Melky's Yankee career. Not to be confused with Melky's 2008 season, which may end Melky's career.

3. The Manny brainfarts. Too many to remember, whether it's becoming the cutoff man for Johnny Damon or massively screwing up a fly ball. Always a good time, even if none of these ever seemed to happen against the Yankees. Needless to say, part of the SUS intern's responsibilities will be finding videos of these moments that I'm too stupid/lazy to find.

4. I'm not saying that having Manny Ramirez hit nearly .450 against us is a good thing, but at least it gave Yankee fans someone to truly hate on the Sox; like Lindros and Messier to Devil fans and The Killers to hard music fans above the age of 20, every good rivalry needs someone that really pisses them off. And call me crazy, but I can't quite get myself to hate Jason Bay...yet.

5. Manny taking off for two weeks every September because he felt the need for a vacation. Great for Yankee fans, devastating for Devo's Dumbasses

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Trade Deadline Evaluations: The big moves in the days leading up to the Deadline and how each team made out


Dodgers A+- Wow. I should not be allowed to be this excited over a deal that does not involve the Yankees. I am sky high right now. The best right handed hitter of my lifetime, a Yankee killer and a truly great offensive player is now out of the Al East and into the AL West.

Red Sox D- Jason Bay? Reallllllly???? Wow. Jason Bay is an above average to good player. Manny Ramirez is a legend. This is one of the more lopsided exchanges by a contending team I have ever come across. If you think any Yankee pitcher is going to be scared to pitch to Jason Bay backing up Big Papi, you are smoking the good stuff. I cannot wait to intentionally walk Papi and pitch to Bay. Thank you Boston for insuring the Yankees will make the postseason this year.

Pirates C+- I am going to re-write this section because we now know the 4 players that are going to the Buccos- I do not think that reliever and St. Johns standout Craig Hansen will ever become more than a solid middle reliever and Brandon Moss seems destined for utility status. However, I hear good things about the two dodgers in the deal including Adam Larouche's brother and now infield mate Andy Larouche. So I guess I give the Dodgers group an A but the Redsox Group a D or so.

(2) Mark Texiera to Angels and Casey Kotchman to Braves-

Angels- A-- This is a very good move for the team that was already the hands down favorite to win it all. The Angels just added a very potent bat to an already solid but not dominant lineup. Now they're 3-5 looks like this 3) Guerrero 4) Texiera 5) Hunter. Wow. It already has an excellent rotation and an even better bullpen stewarded by dominant closer Fransisco "K-rod" Rodriguez. The only slight issue I have with this move is that Anaheim already had a solid all around 1b in Casey Kotchman and Mark Texiera is a free agent after the 2008 season. Unless the Angels win it all this year and/or resign the slugger and gold glove caliber 1b; this move may come back to bite them. However, it makes the Angels the hands down favorite to win it all this season.

(3) Yankees acquire Pudge Rodriguez for Kyle Farnsworth:

(A) Yankees B+- This was another very solid move by the much maligned (by me especially) Brian Cashman. The Yanks filled a glaring need in acquiring a respectable bat at the catcher position while still not losing much defensively when comparing Pudge to the now backup catcher Jose Molina. Pudge brings championship pedigree and most importantly lengthens the Yankee lineup as now it possesses only 1 easy out (Melky) in its starting 9.

(B) Tigers- B- This move is also a logical one for Dave Dambroski and the Tigers. Apparently Pudge has worn out his welcome in Detroit by, amongst other things, not attending pitcher meetings before the games. The Tigers acquire one of baseball's hottest pitchers in Kyle Farnsworth who has not allowed and earned run in over a month. However, the recent acquisition of Marte and the dominant pitching of change up specialist Edwar Ramirez makes Farnsworth and his expiring contract expendable.

(4) Ken Griffey Junior to the Chisox for Righty reliever Nick Masset and 2b Danny Richar-

WhiteSox- C- The Whitesox are returning to their 2005 form this season. They are getting solid starting pitching and have an excellent lineup featuring a career season from Carlos Quentin and the big 3 of Thome, Dye and Konerko. Nick Swisher, despite his poor batting average has a near 400 OBP and Yankee killer SS Orlando Cabrera (This guy seems to win every where he goes doesn't he?). The Sox acquisition of future first ballot Hall of Famer Ken Griffey Junior seems a bit curious to this blogger. They upgraded an area that did not need an upgrade and gave up talented young fire-baller Nick Masset and 2nd Danny Richar to do so. Seems to me they took away from an area they needed to at least stay the course with if not bolster (pitching) so that they could add to something that already was a strength for the team.

Hockey Fight 101

First off, let me say that Im glad to see that Jonathan Roy has the same attitude when getting his ass kicked as his father did. Pure, blind, rage at the world. This is obviously a classy kid (note the champion pose he strikes after the beating he lays down). I know everyone will take the beaten goalies side in this, but c'mon, does this kid have no self respect? You cant take a single swing back? He got worked like a 40 year-old hooker up at Hunts Point who was $50 short for the night. The video above is good, but the one here at ESPN is better. Keep a close eye on the screen after Roy does the takedown for the ref actually keeping another player from defending his goalie, and getting worked as well.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Yanks notes from your favorite Whiteboy: Thanks Buccos

You know, I was about to post about how I was wrong to prematurely right off the Yanks this year. They had just won 8 in a row and were in a loss column tie for the wild-card with the Sawx. However, leave it to this 2008 Yanks, the team of the streak, to just make you furious. Not only have they lost 2 straight after winning the previous 8, they did so in embarrassing fashion losing by a combined score of 22-6 to the Sawx and the terrible Orioles. With this fresh agitation in mind; here is what is on my Yankee fan mind........

(1) The trade for X-man and Marte was awesome- This trade, in which we gave up nothing, was the ideal trade for the 2008 Yankees. It filled its 2nd and 3rd most glaring need. They desperately needed a righty bat with some pop because the only power bat from the right side is Arod. We also needed a Ortiz-Crawford- specialist aka a lefty specialist. The Yanks have already reaped the benefits of this part of the trade as Marte struck out Papi swinging in a big spot during Sunday's 10-3 thrashing of the Sawx. However Nady is off to a very slow start only going 1 for his first 11.

(2) Most glaring need of adding a starter to the back end of the rotation however has not been addressed- The Yankees need to acquire Jarod Washburn. Despite his average numbers and that the BIG is not enamored with Washburn, the Yanks need to add a solid 4th starter to the rotation. The fact that he is a lefty hurler who would pitch at the stadium would only help matters. If the Yanks do acquire Washburn, this immediately solidifies our 1-4 in the rotation and 1-5 when Wang returns in September. Let Rasner and his bizzaro twin Sidney Ponson duke it out for the 5th spot.
(3) R.I.P. Jorge 2008 season- Yesterday was a rough day for Yankee fans. Yes, our favorite team lost 13-4 at home to the last place O's; but we also lost our beloved star catcher for the season to admittingly necessary shoulder surgery. Still, his potent switch hitting bat will be sorely missed as will his veteran leadership and his ability to call a game. However, his .0005% throwing out would be base stealer percentage will not be missed.

(4) Jeter I can't take your double plays anymore its killing me- Yesterday the Yanks had to suck up Mussina's first bad outing in over 2 months. He just did not have it from the get go. He had poor control and terrible location on all of his pitches. This allowed the mediocre Kevin Millar and Ramon Hernandez to hit absolute bombs to left and right center respectively to put the O's on top 4-0 in the 2nd. However, in the top of the 4th, after O's righty Jeremy Guthrie had retired the first 9 Yanks in order to start the contest, Damon leads off with a hard single to left. But thank G-d, Jeter hits into his daily double-play by hitting a hard grounder right to the 2nd baseman. Derek, IF YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HIT WITH ANY POWER AT ALL AND YOU ARE GOING TO HIT 285, YOU NEED TO SOMEHOW SWING UP MORE OR DO SOMETHING TO NOT HIT THE BALL ON THE GROUND RIGHT AT INFIELDERS, YOU ARE KILLING THIS FREAKING TEAM! I will always have a place in my heart for #2 but his play this year has been putrid I don't care what Michael Kay and his band of Yankee suck-ups say. Oy

Monday, July 28, 2008

Monday Night BSing with Mahatma!

SUS is still on vacation but don't worry!

Being the token asshole (uh I mean editor in chief whose not feverishly preparing for the bar exam) I figure it's my duty to keep this site going forward in the progressive nature we all intended during its inception. Let me bust out the ol computer and rock out.



I saw Batman over the weekend and yea it's great. BH said "it's leave work right now and watch it great" and you know what I kindof agree mostly because I hate my job but hey that's all right!

Its still probably the best movie i've seen in theatres although I'd like to give a big FU to the Lowe's cinema at 32 and 2nd for having its audio crap out in the middle of one of the Dent/Gordon scenes. As a result, 32nd and 2nd Lowe's wins the Loser of the week award.

Ledger was out of this world but I gotta give props to Aaron Eckhardt too continuing the momentum from Thank You for Smoking although people say its more or less the same role.

Anyway back to Ledger, I saw ten things I hate about you over the weekend again also and its weird how a man that annoying in that could play the best villain in comic book history but such is life. Its sad because you figure Ledger would probably have been back in the 3rd movie in Nolan's trilogy. Anyway, once again great actor whose life was cut far too short.

Anyway on to more depressing things, like the Yankees acquiring Xman and Demaso Marte from the worthless excuse for a baseball franchise "the Pirates" for a metro card, meat on a stick, a yankee hat and a half eaten bag of pringles.

Sadly, the best trade in years for the Pirates. Being the person least knowledgeable about baseball on this, I figure it's my duty to report. Here's a picture to sum up my thoughts:
The guy on the right is the Pirates. The guy who also made this picture probably also works for the Pirates.


On to other things:

I forgot to mention I saw this asshole at a bar that I frequent 2 weeks ago:

Boy where the hell did this guy go? Shouldn't he have been on the Surreal Life by now? Regardless, he had this hot chick on his arm which further proves that God hates us all.

Oh right we are a sports website. Well here's some more wacky nonsense that I found on

I didn't want to get into football mode in July but alas I guess I have to.

I know what you are thinking Oh why doesn't this get adopted into the NFL. Thankfully, the rules of NFL football forbid such nonsense.

In the NFL, the rules won't allow this offensive philosophy, because it is based on the scrimmage kick rule in NFHS. The NFL has no such rule, and mandates 5 OL numbers on the LOS. Now, could you run a swinging gate..sure..if you want to get the QB killed.

The scrimmage kick rule in NFHS states that there are no specific rules as to who is an ineligi
ble receiver (read:jersey number AND location on the LOS), as long as your "QB" is 7 yards deep minimum. This rule is in direct conflict with current NFL rules.

As for the old "reporting as eligible" thing, there is no such monster at the HS level. You cannot report as eligible in HS. The only way around that is: 1. have an eligible number, 2. be in a scrimmage kick formation. You can hand the ball off to an ineligible number (i.e. a lineman in at FB in power I), but he has to get possession of the ball behind the LOS. This would also work for screens as well, I believe. The ineligible number player in an eligible spot cannot catch the ball
downfield I don't believe.

So, as you see, the A-11 takes advantage of NFHS rules, and would not fly in the NFL. Regardless its a fun video to watch.

Back to the NFL:

Thank god the Patriots have the easiest schedule in football. WTF. Tom Brady is Satan. Or maybe he's just a host like Gabriel Bryne was in End of Days?


Thank god the Gints won.