Saturday, February 14, 2009

The Giants Offseason Preview: A Choice of 3

So now that the stench is starting to lift off the date-rape of an ending to the '08 Giants season, it's about time to discuss how best to fix what went wrong....

...and the answer is simple: BRING IN PLAX OR A PLAX-LIKE #1 RECEIVER.

Everything else will resolve itself: the Giants will sign Jacobs, while letting Derrick Ward and probably Amani Toomer go. Look, Toomer was a great Giant, but was absolutely invisible the last few games of the season while playing for a contract. Amani, it's been a good run, but we'll see you 10 years from now at Big Blue alumni autograph sessions. Thanks for the memories and if you're going to within the NFC East, please suck.

So if you want a big target that Eli can't overthrow, there are basically three options for Jerry "God" Reese: trade for Anquan Boldin, draft a wide receiver (I hear there's a local Bayonne, NJ product who is not small), or keep Plaxico. Let's get to the pros and cons of each choice in no particular order:

1. Trade for Anquan Boldin

He's good. Really good. Except for Plaxico, he would be the best receiver of my lifetime, Stephen Baker the Touchdown Maker excluded. 4 of his first six seasons have seen him collect 1,000 yards.
-Age? 28. Still plenty young.
-Any player who is looking for a change of scenery is going to be real motivated to prove themselves in their new surroundings. Anquan should be no different.
-Boldin wants money. You know the best way to make money? Play for a New York team and pimp yourself out for any and every product under the sun.
The guy had to have surgery to put his face back together after nearly dying and was back on the field two weeks later. So yeah, I'd say he's durable.

He's not THAT big. 6'1 217 is not Stephen Baker Touchdown Maker small, but it's not exactly Plaxico huge.
Cost. Roy Williams, a comparable if not very similar receiver, cost the Cowgirls a 1st, 3rd, and 6th round pick this year, and a 7th rounder next year. If you can draft like Reese has shown, wouldn't you rather take 4 rookies over Anquan when you assume that at least 2.5 of the picks will make significant contributions to the '09 Giants? But hey, good for the Cowboys, they clearly showed they have the pieces in place and don't need any sort of team makeover.
-I mean, the man got to a Super Bowl and still was not happy. Who the hell hates his team when said team gets to the Super Bowl? This guy, that's who. Do the Giants really need to go through that again?

2. Draft a certain wide receiver from Rutgers, one Kenneth Q. Britt.


-A local guy from Bayonne, N.J. and THE State University of New Jersey, he will quickly become a fan favorite. Fans will definitely be chanting for him when the Giants pick at 45, if not also when they make their first pick at #30.
-6'4, 214 lbs, and 4.48 40 yard dash. "Physical gifts he has," said Yoda, when asked to give his opinion on Britt.
-Clearly the youngest of the options.
-If nothing else has convinced you, Peter Griffin has two strong words for you:

For a can't miss guy that your benevolent leader would have you believe Britt to be, Britt is generally regarded as roughly the 5th best wide receiver in the draft. The Giants may want to take a crack at one of the other four.
-The Giants need a big wide receiver who can contribute now. This team isn't one or two years away, but is built to win right now. There's a good chance that Britt could BECOME the big receiver the Giants need. There's much less of a chance that Britt will be that big receiver next year.
-Quite frankly, the Giants may not be able to draft him. Britt has been hyped up more and more recently. Right now he's slated to go mid-2nd round, but a solid combine showing could boost him into the first round, and he could be taken before the Giants' first pick at 30. Sure, the Giants could draft another of the solid wide receivers coming out this year, but if the Giants draft a receiver and he's not a Rutgers or NJ product, does he make a sound? Leaning towards no.

3. Keep Plax

Familiarity with the offense. I would hope.
-Apparently all the players want him back.
-Plax creates matchup problems that can't necessarily be duplicated by more than a few receivers in this league. And Terrell Owens ain't walking through that door.
-Plax didn't electrocute your pet. Plax didn't shoot his gun at anyone else. Plax didn't even aim it anyone else. In theory, Plax could have harmed another person. In actuality no innocent parties were harmed.
-The Giants put Plax on the PUP list. They have not actually parted ways with him yet and in theory, he is probably listed on their depth chart as their #1 wide receiver opposite Domenik Hixon right now.

(just a few minor ones)
-Um, he may be in jail.
-Even if not in jail, he may be suspended by the league. Though I have no idea what test Goddell uses to suspend players. If you are a suspect in 15 crimes including one murder, you get suspended for a year. But if you commit a DUI or shoot yourself in the leg, Goodell seems to prefer to let the courts work it out. Frankly, I'm confused. But you have to think that Plax is going to be disciplined by the league at some point for not having a more reliable sweatpants waistband.
-He allegedly wants out of New York. If this is true, Plax's new name quickly becomes The Ungrateful One. The team has stood by Plax as much as anyone could throughout this ordeal, and for him or his agent to demand a trade and put the Giants in a corner is completely selfish, unfair, and the height of douchebaggery...but if not true, then come on back Plax, all is forgiven.

I'm not gonna pretend that I'm not obscenely biased as a RU fan. I want Britt. Like enough to watch the entire NFL draft until he gets picked. That said, my preference here is to get the band back together like it's '07 and bring Plax back. But assuming that he either goes to prison or demands a trade (both more likely than Plax returning) Britt makes the most sense. The simple fact is that it's going to cost too much to get Boldin. And when a player of that caliber is on the market, there's going to be a bunch of teams vying for his services, the Ravens and Jets to name a few. So screw it, take the SUNJ product, and let's hope that he has more Ray Rice than Marco Battaglia in him.

What Really Grinds my gears: The Love-Hate edition

1) I love White Girl but I hate valentine's day- Yea, I said it. I just can't stand how much pressure there is on Valentine's day. Everyone asks you what you are doing for it. People, mainly other women in your life (Mrs. White boy Senior) don't think whatever you are doing for her is enough. You are afraid to get the wrong card, the wrong gift and to mess up your first ever attempt at cooking (Okay, so that just applies to my lazy ass). I am actually quite the romantic but I like being one in subtle ways and at unexpected times. Having a day where everyone expects you to do something special for your girl is a lot of pressure. Oy.

2) I love the Knicks but I hate this team- This is, without a doubt, the most frustrating Knicks team I have ever rooted for. Don't get me wrong, it is clearly not the worst Knicks team I have ever rooted for (See Thomas, Isiaih) but at least that team won games that were close and just got blown out the other 59 games. This team could have won about 10 more games if it just closed out half of the games it had leads in during the final 120 seconds of the contest. Al Harrington, Jamal Crawford you are not. Jamal had the penchant for hitting the buzzer beater and an ability to calmly knock down what I would call "putaway" shots; that is, shots that take the lead from 2-4 or 4-7 to put other teams away. Harrington has scored a lot for the Knicks but has not once hit a significant shot in the final two minutes of a close game to either win it or put the game away. His hanging on the rim technical foul up 3 with 20 seconds to go in the red and blue Staples center was one of the more inexcusable basketball acts I have seen a Knick make and that is saying something. Now, on a 6 game losing streak heading into the all star festivities, I can only look to April 6th when the Yanks open up in Baltimore.

3) I hated A-rod but now I love A-rod, sort of- I hate sports fans. I just hate you all. How can people be so devastated by the A-rod thing. Haven't these callers ever seen their beloved dog or pet pass away slowly? Haven't they ever been fired from a job? Haven't they ever had a loved one get sick or pass away? What I am trying to say is, how can you possibly be this devastated by the A-rod thing. Sports are not sacrasanct!!! They never were. Don't you think the all white MLB players of the 30's and 40's would have gladly taken Steroids and HGH if they were around back then?? Also, if Steroids were legal, would you have any problems with them? Just because something is against the law or the rules does not make it morally wrong. If this were the case, Martin Luther King, Ghandi and Muhammed Ali would all be considered evil men instead of the heroes they are revered as today. Don't get me wrong, unlike these great men, A-rod is a huuuuuuuuuuuuge prick. Hyuuuuuuuuge. But that is because he slept around on his poor pregnant wife, not because he put something into his body that would make you enjoy watching him more. Come back to me people. Please!!!!!!!!

4) I love great, in-game, dunks but I hate the modern version of the Dunk Contest- The dunk contest has long outlived its usefulness. I will watch it tonight with Whitegirl but I'm sure it will suck. I like Natey but Evan Roberts is right, his novelty has worn off. There really aren't any dunks left that are that exciting to watch. The misses on the first attempt or 15 (see Robinson, Nate 2006) completely ruins the excitement of the dunk when it finally is completed successfully. Also, when we were watching Kobe and Vince and Jordan it was riveting. I don't need to see Josh Smith and a bunch of mediocre NBA players dunking. I would however, loveeeee to see a 1 on 1 competition. How much fun would it have been to watch Kobe vs. Shaq a few years ago before Shaq got horribly old and slow? How much fun now would it be to watch Kobe take on Lebron? I do, however, love the three point shootout because watching great shooting is riveting to me.

5) I love Barack Obama but I hate the embarassment that is the Cabinent mess- Yo, B, what the fuck man? I trusted you to properly vet your cabinet members so that there would be no messy "oops, sorry guys, didn't know he/she had this skeleton in the closet." Well we are now on our third secretary of commerce and your original pick for Secretary of Health and Human Services apparently didn't pay all of his taxes or some shit. I thought you were going to be the most overly prepared and careful president we were going to have in my lifetime. So far, you have actually had more foul ups along these lines early on than most of your predecessors. I expect better from you B.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Best. Book Idea. Ever.

According to the Harvard of, well, nothing, the New York Post, Darryl Strawberry is coming out with a tell-all book about the 80's Mets that is going to make The Yankee Years look as controversial as The Sound of Music.

Anyone remember drugs that don't enhance performances? Things like speed and cocaine? You know, the drugs that can actually kill you BEFORE you turn 50? Well, this book has plenty on that.

Beer "was the foundation of our alcoholic lifestyle," he writes. "We hauled around more Bud than the Clydesdales. The beer was just to get the party started and maybe take the edge off the speed and coke." The team's mantra on the road, he writes, was to "tear up your best bars and nightclubs and take your finest women . . . The only hard part for us was choosing which hottie to take back to your hotel room. Lots of times you . . . picked two or three."

Oh, good, there's some sex stories involved too. But Straw, you didn't actually bang groupies, during games...or did you?

(I) once watched a pitcher march a frisky fan to a private room for oral sex: "I was jealous. When I saw her heading back to her seat, I gave her a sign. She smiled, turned right back around, and met me in that same little room . . . I had to be quick and run back out on the field."

Another time, "I was in the clubhouse, having one last quickie with this cute little Florida girl. Charlie Samuels, the equipment manager, came in and caught us. He just stood there shaking his head while I finished up."

Wow. Look, steroids denegrate the sanctity of the game, and blah, blah blah, but let me ask you something, SUS nation, what makes for a better story: hearing about how players gave themselves horse tranquilizers to increase their muscles and decrease their testicles? Or hearing about how players did speed, blow, and every able-bodied female around Queens in the mid 80's? Yeah, I'll opt for B. So you people can have your David Epstein and Selena Roberts and Tom Verducci. I'll take my '86 Mets tell-all, thank you very much.

But why were the women so attracted to the players? Was it the fame? Was it the money? Nah, it was clearly their singing chops:

Fast forward to 2:35 to see the beginning of the song. And a Francessa-sized thank you to whoever created this video and posted it on youtube.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

An Open letter to Brett Favre

Dear Mr. Favre,

Thank you for announcing your retirement today. Thanks to you, sports talk radio was forced to spend a solid 5 minutes not talking about A-Rod and how his steroid abuse has disillusioned more people than Adolf Hitler.


The Unemployed Sports Fan Masses

ps-you really sucked as a Jet, douche.

Avery to resume 'sloppy seconds' with Rangers

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

There comes a time when all team's must either nut up or shut up. Time to make that run for the playoffs or make that run to the draft choice.

As the teams flounder, mess up and flail at every opportunity, a guiding light appears from the skies. This angel. This savior. This messiah. The legend. Each with the opportunity to get him.

Except the only problem with that is Avery is now back with the evil Rangers. Let's look at some pros and cons at the return of one of SUS's favorites.


The same asshole we bashed with reckless abandon is now back to where we grew to love him. Back rocking his red, white and blue puke jersey, Avery will soon be seen skating down Broadway. I gotta say just when I needed a jolt to jump start my hating again, Avery and the Rangers come through as only they can. I'll admit I was getting a little soft with the whole Steelers winning so any opportunity to return to my bitter past help.

As I've long stated, hockey needs more villains and having Avery back is a breathe of fresh air. Sure, after a couple of stories, I'll become annoyed with him again but for now it's good for Avery to be back. Something about him being in Dallas never quite worked out for anyone involved. Sure controversy followed but it just wasn't the same. Avery is a New York guy. He's not a Dallas guy. He can't intern at Vogue there. He can swap fashion tips with Jerry Jones.


1) It makes the Rangers stronger. Yes your New York Rangers are busy speed dialing the Dallas Stars in an attempt to get back their Vogue-interning hero back. Why? Avery was for the most part a good citizen on the Rangers and a damn good player. While much has been made of Avery's butchering of the Good ol' Dallas Stars chemistry, he did quite the opposite for the Rangers. Now that Avery has left, the Rags are once again in a state of flux despite having one of the more talented teams in the Eastern conference. The Rangers currently are also in a worse state of flux. Changing of "strategy" has yielded the same results. Unending line changes haven't found the right mix. The players have tuned out the coach. Morale is low. Some say acquiring Avery would destroy the chemistry as he did with the Stars. What if there is no chemistry to destroy? By grabbing him again, the Rangers are giving their own floundering team the boost of energy they need.

2) The team toughness Rangers had last year is now filled with guys that are soft as a new pillow (Zherdev, Naslund, Redden) while the toughness last year (Shanahan, Avery) were sent packing. Reacquiring Avery will give the top 6 some added toughness. Avery fights in the corners and does well in front of the net. These sort of guys are vital to long playoff runs.

3) Scoring depth -- People call Avery a glorified 3rd liner with attitude but he is actually a fairly skilled hockey player. Armed with above average wheels, a decent shot and some finishing ability. It's not like he's TO and pouts at the slightest bit of trouble. Avery does work hard. Not only that but he is the game's best agitator. He is a pest and gets the best players off their game.

4) No lose situation -- so you acquire Avery and you still suck and move one step closer to acquiring the "next-next-next-one" John Tavares.

Damn, this totally brings the Rangers back into the fore front on paper. Whether he can mesh with his new teammates is another story but all of us, Penguins, Flyers (Douches), Devils fans should be worried. If anything, he would provide some drama and entertainment, which today's lifeless Rangers need. I'm just pissed the Penguins didn't sign him. Ah well, at least I can use this photoshop again.

Lions already screwing up in 2009

This would be the same Roy Williams that was traded oh maybe 4 months ago, who is the featured athlete on the team's 2009 calendar. Well done, Lions promotional team, well done.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Sammy Knight Era: We Hardly Knew Ye

See that helmet being elbowed? That's Sammy Knight. That's as close as I could come to a photo of Sammy Knight in blue.

Upon hearing the news that beloved Charger, Sammy Knight, was cut by the Giants yesterday, most of Big Blue Nation responded with a resounding "oh, right, we signed him last off-season, didn't we?" Some cap casualties have been greeted with sadness by Giants fans, (see: Simms, Phil) while others have been greeted with tears of joy. (See: Petitgout, Luke) But Sammy Knight is a revolutionary of sorts; he is the first cap casualty whose most newsworthy moment with the team was being cut, if only because it reminded fans that he existed.

The Giants also cut ties with Reuben Droughns, a move that came approximately twelve months later than expected, and Sam Madison, who based on his plummeting depth chart status, was involved in a Hideki Matsui-like decline.

In related news, the Giants currently have 1 running back signed for next year, and he still has to serve some of his offseason in the Virginia Penal System before he can resume his career. So yeah, any time Reese wants to re-sign Jacobs, feel free.

Monday, February 9, 2009

You Can't Sweep This Under the Rug

Anyone who knows me knows I'm not an A-fraud fan or apologist. Ive delighted in 5 solid years of suckery by him in pinstripes. From Tek putting his glove in Gay-Rods grill to the bitchiest play ever seen in baseball, "the slap heard round the world", I have been rooting for the frosted tip dickless wonder to fail, and have been richly rewarded. But even I have to call shenanigans on this outing of his 2003 positive steroid test.

Don't get me wrong, I still think taking steroids is cheating(Steroids ARE against the rules and the law, pretty clear. We can debate whether that should be the case some other time.). And though Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have shown that even some of the best players in history will resort to drugs to continue their careers, theres something about Arod getting outed that shocked me. He was the guy everyone was expecting to clear the taint from the home run record when he passed Bonds in a couple years. Now, you cynical fucks will call me naive for thinking Arod didn't "juice" but I guarantee every one of you said the same thing. As much as I like seeing him fail in the clutch and in the playoffs, even I admit the guy was a regular season monster. A pure numbers machine who you could at least respect for consistent production, even if he does like "mannish blonde women".

So what this comes down to for me is this: I want this steroids thing to be over. The guessing, the accusations, the denials, all of it is distracting and doesn't actually help anyone except bloodsucking journalists who feed off the strife and misery of their fellow humans. Curt Schilling is right, this is bullshit that only Arod gets outed from this list. I want to see the whole list, and I don't care if David Ortiz, Mike Lowell and Trot Nixon are on it. Sunshine is the best disinfectant and it is the only thing that will begin to clean up this mess that MLB and the Players Association have created. MLB sat back and reaped record profits as their biggest stars cheated their way into the record books while the MLBPA protected the cheaters from consequences at the expense of the vast majority of their members. Every executive, labor official and yes, player has done wrong here. In fact, the only people who have come clean have done so under threat of jail time, until Arod. And Ill give him credit for that. But I want to know who else is hiding something, and frankly, I don't give a shit what the agreement for drug testing was in '03. There is only one solution to this crisis, and its the one I said when all this bullshit started like 5 years ago: Wipe the records clean and start over, testing every player, every month, every season. You cant trust anyone involved in this as far as you can throw them.


Main Entry: drama queen
Part of Speech: N
Definition: any person who overreacts to a minor problem or situation

Look Ben, I love you and all but quit being a drama queen.

NEW YORK (TICKER) —The Super Bowl game-winning drive orchestrated by quarterback Ben Roethlisberger will go down as one of the best in history. It’s even more impressive in the wake of learning that Roethlisberger played the game with at least two small rib fractures. reported that Roethlisberger’s injury was discovered following an MRI exam on the Thursday after Super Bowl XLIII. “Luckily, in the game, I didn’t take any big hits to make ‘em hurt,” Roethlisberger told the web site. “But I knew all along there was something wrong. There wouldn’t have been anything they could have done about fractured ribs anyway. It was just suck it up and play.” Roethlisberger drove the Steelers 78 yards for the winning touchdown, connecting with Santonio Holmes on a 6-yard scoring pass with 35 seconds left in the Steelers’ 27-23 victory over the Arizona Cardinals. Prior to the Super Bowl, Roethlisberger underwent X-rays of the rib area, which were negative. He had absorbed a crunching hit to the back early in the AFC championship game against the Baltimore Ravens.

Didn't we already know his ribs were banged up anyway? I mean wasn't there a widestorm panic on Friday when he went to have an MRI done? And wasn't it deemed you were about as probable as you ever are going to be.

Look as a Steeler fan it pains me to suggest my QB is a bit of a prima donna but look all of the good ones are: Tawm Brady, Peyton, Favre, Eli but still. It just bothers me that my QB has to remind everyone that he was injured. Dude isn't everyone injured in the playoffs? I'm sure James Harrison is playing on a screwd up ankle but he still rumbled 100 yards. The point is this. We won and I'm greatful and happy that god willing, I'll be able to watch the guy play for another 10 years but isn't it better to know you completed the "drive" without being the center of attention. You weren't even that HURT!!! It's kind of like the guy in highschool that got it on with the head cheerleader and told everyone x145565 times about it. Look it's great and all but shut up. Isn't it much better knowing that you did it while maintaining a shit eating grin and not telling a soul.

As always, maybe that's just me. I guess win or lose, Ben will always tell everyone he's hurt. That's just who he is. I'm okay with this as long as the superbowls keep coming. Ah, whom am I kidding? The reality is, you've won a pass from me forever, Ben and you've shown the world you are a tough SOB, even if you like the attention.

Devo's Pro Bowl Diary


Wow, who knew a game without blitzing or even receivers going in motion wouldn't be exciting? Oh, right...

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Football Final Thoughts

So the football season has finally ended, and it has done so in a great victory as the Pittsburgh Steelers emerged victorious making a full half of the SUS staff happy and in need of cleaning their pants. But as we shut down our football thoughts until free agency and concentrate on other sports such as hockey (which yours truly is finding incredibly frustrating because of the Penguins, but that’s another story), we of course need to get our final thoughts in.

The Steelers Offensive Line Held
Who the hell would have thought this? After getting owned all year round by nearly every team, the offensive line, as effective as a French military defense, actually held their own during the last few games of the season and the playoffs to help pull off the Super Bowl win. Now don't get me wrong, they still stink and need a revamp, but it’s just amazing the Steelers were able to win with such mediocrity up front. They have to be smart and not rest on their laurels and get some help for Ben.

Ken Whisenhunt made me hate him
I’ve never harbored ill will to cheese Whiz (though Mahatma has had enough for both of us not to mention every non Whisenhunt hater), but for whatever reason just seeing that man pissed me off during the SB. I don't know what it was, but seeing him was like instant hate. I wanted to punch him. But everything turned out okay and he went home crying.

Ray Ray wants his Pay Pay
For those that haven’t heard, Ray Lewis, who murdered two people and got away with it (just like OJ mind you), has publicly stated he is not willing to take a pay cut to stay with the Ratbirds. I have to say I’m surprised. I mean all we ever hear about this man is how good a captain he is and that he is a good person etc. And you’d think maybe after earning around $50mm in his previous contracts that he would say “hey, maybe I’ll take a million or two less to stay with the team I love and been the center of for a decade.” Nope. I have nothing against s player trying to get the most money, but I’m hoping Ratbird fans finally wake up and see “geez, maybe he really isn’t the good guy we thought he was and have been defending, and really is the selfish murderer that everyone says he is.”

Pendergast gets the Shaft
Clancy Pendergast, in addition to having a name that made him the butt end of many jokes during his pre-college school years, was handed another shot to the sack by being fired as the Cardinals defensive coordinator. Had the Cardinals held on the Steelers final drive he’d have a job, but instead Whisenhunt made him the scapegoat and gave him a pink slip. Never mind the fact it was the fifth time THIS SEASON Roethlisberger helmed a fourth quarter comeback win, it was Pendergast’s fault. Whiz said they wanted to do it now so he still had time to get a job, despite the fact many teams have already filled their vacancies. Nice job there Whiz.

Mike Tomlin is the Shaft of the NFL
This man is just awesome. While most coaches jump up and down yelling “I won the Super Bowl!” Tomlin walks calmly with authority, raising his arms in the air saying “you’re damn right I just won the Super bowl!” like you doubted he ever would. And speaking of Tomlin…

We can Officially call him a great coach
And I base this solely on the fact that Bill Cowher is considered a great coach. Cowher won a single title in his fifteen years, and it only took Tomlin two years to do it. Tomlin also accomplished something Cowher was never able to: not horribly choking in and AFC Championship game. So the way I see it is, if Cowher is considered a great coach based on what amounts to a single accomplishment, then there is no reason Tomlin shouldn’t be considered a great coach for doing it in a fraction of the time.

Fitzgerald is awesome
And any doubts you could have had were wiped out during the Super Bowl. Man is just great, and a good person to boot. If you don't want him on your team there is something wrong with you.

That San Antonio guy for the Steelers is pretty good too
Santonio Holmes took the MVP of the game, even though I think Ben should have taken it by the slightest of margins. Still, he helped make that last drive with his catches and he came through. Mahatma hasn’t stop his exulting of Santonio since he was drafted, and I think he had to throw out his pants after the drive.

Anquon Boldin proves he’s full of shit
Boldin said that the damage done between him and the Cardinals is irreparable, and that it’s nothing to do with money. Anquon has apparently forgotten that, despite signing a binding contract, the whole situation started when he began to demand more money. He’s says they didn’t hold up their part of the bargain, which was to negotiate to give him more money. So how is it that despite the whole situation revolving around money it’s not about the money? I get your point Anquon but the fact is it all started with you wanting a bigger payday, and that makes it about the money whether you feel wronged or not.

Raiders make Jim Cable full head coach, schedule press conference on November 12 to announce his firing
People must be desperate for jobs if at this point they're willing to go or stay with the Raiders. After seeing what Al Davis did with Kiffin how can anyone want to deal with that? Especially how it has come out that he still calls down plays and wants everything done his way. Will anyone be surprised if Cable is fired before the year is out?

Dan Rooney is in fact dead
Have you seen this man? He looks like a freakin’ puppet the way he moves. There is just no life to this man at all, and I swear at times I can see the puppet strings used to make him move. I think it would be sweet if the guy they used to do his voiceover was replaced with Peter Cullen doing Optimus Prime’s voice. Oh, and thanks Dan for thanking the fans that have helped make the Steelers AFTER you thanked your new pal President Obama. Douche.
James Harrison is your new God.
Bow before him, just like the entire Caridnals offense:

For the 43rd year in a row, the Refs won the Super Bowl for a team
It’s absurd now. Every freaking year we have to hear how the winning teams best player on the field was the twelth man: the referee. They continue to list the missed calls against the winning team yet never mentioned the missed calls against the losers. Tell in, helping the Steelers why didn’t the refs call Kurt Warner for removing his helmet on field when they called James Farrior for it? Why was Fitzgerald not penalized for running out of bounds then tackling James Harrison? You never hear these things because they people that claim this are idiots. Refs are bad. Always have been, always will be. It’s called human error. Get over it. I’m sick of hearing the same bullshit excuses every year, especially since those making the claims blatantly ignore evidence to the contrary.

Finally I’d just like to say what a calendar year it’s been for SUS football. First the Giants against all odds pull out a last minute win against the ever classless and cheating Patriots, and a year later the Steelers come up with a last minute “my god we almost choked the game away” drive nearly identical to beat the Arizona “would someone please care about us” Cardinals. Of course, should the Steelers and Giants ever meet in the Super Bowl, the website just may tear itself apart.

And One More Thing

This isn’t football related, but also not worthy of its own post. Tiger Woods announced this week that his is practicing ”full blow” in order to return. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: It’s fucking golf! What are you doing Tiger, playing 18 holes instead of nine? How excruciating that must be for you. This again lends credence to my theory that Tiger Woods is in fact not a human but actually a giant vagina.

Is A-Rod a victim?

In a word? YES.

Look, the only reason that this evidence got out was because someone was out to destroy A-Rod. A-Rod failed the 2003 test, not a 2007 test. The 2003 tests were made to determine HOW MANY players took steroids, not WHO took steroids. A-Rod was supposed to simply be a statistic, helping MLB determine IF they should follow through with steroid testing. The simple fact is that the test was taken under the assumption that those involved would remain anonymous.

The best analogy one can make is to a clinical medical test. In those tests, the patients are always kept anonymous, and it is their results that are used to come up with a conclusion. Likewise, in this example, the names of the players should have remained anonymous. Only their results should have been made public. I don't think this is illegal, but it is extremely unethical to release names of those involved in clinical trials. Whoever is responsible for releasing A-Rod's name should be barred from practicing medicine. You could even make an argument that they acted more unethically than A-Rod in their actions.

One last thing. Jon Heyman of SI writes that the MLB Players Union is to blame for A-Rod's name getting out there. Maybe this is true, but it doesn't change the fact that A-Rod is a victim. If he failed a test in 2007, then his name should have been made public. But the fact that his name was made public when he was essentially part of a clinical study is bullshit. And someone, not A-Rod, should lose their job over this.


And I'm right there with long as we also lynch everyone who has ever smoked a joint and every 18 year old who has banged a 15 year old. Because in victimless crimes, society is the true victim!

And if SI is going to out one guy, they should feel free to out the other 103 who also failed the drug tests in '03.

You really should be outside since it's going to be 10 degrees again in 2 days...

but if you need a video to waste 1:30 of your day here you go:

Bravo on the parody.

Oh and the PRO BOWL IS TONIGHT! Get your DVRs ready!