Saturday, February 28, 2009

What Really Grinds my Gears: Poupuri edition

Yea, I have a lot of random stuff to rant about

Opening Day in question for Johan Santana

1) Presidential Address phoniness is uneccessary and incredibly annoying- (a) Do we really need to applaud the President after each sentence he speaks? Is it too much to ask to hold applause till the end or at least reserve this applause for spontaenous and genuine emotional outburts like when he alluded to the mess he was left behind by Bush? (b) B, I love ya but do you really need to say that we will cure cancer in the next quarter century? I'm sure your not the first president to say something like that and certainly not the first to play on the Coaches team in the annual Coaches vs. Cancer game. Sadly, Cancer always seems to win. (c) This is just an observation but did anyone else catch the complete snub by Barack of Justice Thomas? That was swaeeeeet!!

2) A Rebuttal to Devo's New York Sports radio treatise- I love ya Devo, but Michael Kay, as a talk show host, is not nearly as bad as you make him out to be. He, unlike Francessa, actually includes his crew in the show in non-disparaging ways. He also actually wants to know what the callers think and will even talk about the Knicks and Rangers sometimes!! I don't really mind when sports shows do politics but after a long long day of classes and with 3 hours of tutoring left to go, I don't need Francessa talking politics in my life, I just want to talk about the Knicks or Yanks which Kay was able to provide.

3) Knicks continue to frustrate fans- Einstein defined insanity as engaging in the same behavior yet expecting different results. I guess I am, by this definition, a truly insane Knick fan. I really thought my team would win at least 2 of its 3 home games this week against Indy, Orlando and Philly. I guess I figured it would blow out a Pacer team missing its top 3 scorers and save face by actually winning 1 of 4 in the season series agsint the Illadelph. Nope!! The team barely beat the Pacers thanks to Krypto-Nate and Will Ferell and got waxed by the Magic and Sixers. Yes, technically those games got close late but unless you are a great team like Boston or La, you are not going to end up getting over the hump late when you had to expend all that energy coming back from a first quarter 21 point deficit. Chirs Duhon has completely fallen apart. He was having a career season up until the all star break but is playing some of the worst ball of his career since as he is starting most game by comitting several unforced turnovers and has become so timid a shooter that he is passing up open layups to pass out to the perimeter. Mike D, its time to insert Natey into the starting lineup.

4) Injuries to athletes consisently being minimized by teams to their fans and media- I am referencing the Johan Santanna injury of course. Whenever you hear that a pitcher has any problem with any part of his throwing arm, its realllllll baaad. I honestly hope Johan is okay because I want the subway series games to mean something and to be entertained when I make my first trip to Bankruptcy Field. However, the Johan situation is already getting bad as it went from just cautiously being pulled out of one meaningless spring training start to now being on the shelf for the next few weeks. I'm guessing he will be able to make his opening day start but the Mets clearly minimized this injury when it was first reported. White Boy Senior astutely compared this situation tot he David Lee situation of 06 when his slightly sprained foot was reported as day to day back In February and then did not suit up again until next season. The main bullet point here is, YOU GUYS NEED TO TELL US THE WORST CASE SCENARIO SO THAT WE WILL BE HAPPY WHEN ITS ACTUALLY LESS SEVERE RATHER THAN THE WAY YOU DO IT NOW WHICH MAKES US NUTS! (maybe thats just me though)

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Welcome back BJ! And is it just me, or is 4 years, $25 million very affordable and appropriately short for a bruising running back. One more notch on Jerry Reese's belt. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to ordering my Kenny Britt Giants jersey...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Thanks for the Pep Talk Obama!

Things could be worse people! You might have to buy sacks of potatoes for your primary sustenance and have to quit school because you cant afford socks(or sockets, not really sure). I gotta say tho, the Great Depression doesnt look so bad now. I woulda killed for this kind of meal growing up as a poor sharecropper's son in West Virginia.

Careful what you wish for...

I wish I had Mahatma's photo shop skills so that I could spray paint Douche along this photo.

Many moons ago, as many as 4, I remember listening to sports talk radio and wondering what it would take to get the A-Roid issue off the sports talk radio airwaves. Well, apparently all it took was this guy's courtside arrival at a Knicks game to:

a) take A-Roid off the airwaves,
b) make me realize how pathetic sports talk radio hosts, most notably Michael Kay are; and
c) almost make me wish that more failed drug tests were found.

Driving somewhere around 4:30ish, I had two options:
1. Listen to a deceptively intelligent Mike Francessa talk about the economic crisis and Obama's impending speech; or
2. Michael Kay go on a verbal jihad, talking about how Nate Robinson insulted the credibility of the NBA worse than a player with J.R. Rider's work habits, Michael Ray Richardson's cocaine problem, Latrell Spreewell's passing "abilities", Vince Carter's ability to play through pain, Kobe Bryant's attitudes towards his teammates, O.J's love of his wife and personal memorabilia, and Michael Eisley, Shannon Anderson, and Brian Scalabrine's talent.

Clearly, I chose the first, because as said above, Francessa, while having differing political views than myself, is an intelligent person who isn't Hannity-ed to the right. Props to Francessa for calling a spade a spade and realizing that there was nothing worth talking about in sports.

But unfortunately, we're talking the radio airwaves. Where commercials happen. So instead of doing something rational like putting on 101.9, (the best radio station in New York. Don't argue with this. Just don't.) I put on Michael Kay. Kay was so outraged at Nate Robinson's actions last night that you would have thought he would have ended up in a police blotter, and not minute 38 of Sportscenter. For those that don't know, Robinson engaged in a playful banter with Ferrell, sitting courtside, over the course of the game. And clearly Robinson was so distracted by Ferrell that he only went for 41 in a 4 point win over the not-quite-championship-caliber Indiana Pacers.

Now, it's fairly obvious that Michael Kay is a blowhard of the highest caliber, and I like to think SUS nation doesn't need me to make them aware of this. But clearly Kay was trying to make a controversy where there was none, and his desperation in trying to pass time on the air was nearly embarassing. A few facts about Nate Robinson from a fairly neutral voice, and then I'm done talking about it because talking about it will only make Michael Kay scream longer and louder:

-The Knicks won the game.
-Nate Robinson was the most important player, scoring 41 points.
-The Knicks' front office is killing time for another 108 games until they get the class of 2010 in here. If there is any affront to the integrity of the game happening in Madison Square Garden, it is the fact that the Knicks make people pay face value for the next 108 games. Nate Robinson is trying to give fans their money's worth for the game.
-But in Michael Kay's defense, the whole idea of 'getting your money's worth' is foreign to him, as the next ticket to a game he buys will most likely be his first.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower after that defense of Francessa.

Hey! Its Spring Training Time!

Well hello there Metsfans. I've hibernating this winter and aaaahhhh was that a nice nap. I heard that you poor bastards got TONS of snow and that it was bitterly cold- kinda like today- but for days and days in a row. Sucks to be all of you. We also got a new President (woot!) and the economy sucks. In sports news, the Steelers won (again) and the Devils are doing really well!
I think the best news is that I woke up just in time for Spring Training. What a lucky coincidence.
During the past couple of days, the boys that call CitiField (at least for now) home have been playing split squad games down in good old Port St. Lucie (I think that spelling Lucie like that is kinda adorable, which is just what the Mets want us all to think, I'm sure...). So far, the big stories from Spring Training have been:
1. Who will be the 5th starter? Veterans Freddy Garcia, Livan Hernandez and Tim Redding are vying for the spot against a young gun. Garcia and Hernandez were both signed to minor-league deals while Redding was given a contract this off-season. Jon Niese is the younest of the front-runners and made his major-league debut last season.
2. To platoon or not to platoon? Going into Spring Training, it was pretty much assumed that Ryan Church would be the everyday right fielder, while Fernando Tatis and Daniel everyone-loves-me Murphy would be platooning in left. Not the case says Manager Jerry Manuel. He says that the left field job is Murphy's to lose. This caused speculation amongst the media that there would then be a platoon in right. Nope, says Jerry. Church has the job, which leaves Tatis as the odd man out. Personally, I think this is a good move. Tatis had an amazing offensive year in 2008, but my guess is that won't happen again, plus Murphy is being primed as the Great White Hope for the Mets and should be playing everyday.
3. Castillo in lead-off? Once again, the media took this story and blew it way out of proportion. Yes, Jerry said that he was going to try the old and often injured 2nd baseman (who the team really would have liked to get rid of this winter) in the lead off spot during the Spring to try to trigger his past offensive successes. This doesn't mean that Jose Reyes has been dethroned exactly, it just means that Jerry doesn't want to give out specific roles just yet.
4. The World Champs are still talking? For some really strange reason, the Phillies can't shut the f*ck up about the Mets. They won the World Series. Just be proud and start practicing because I think (hope) there are some hungry Mets out there.

Ok, I'm out for now, but just in case you missed it, check out the video of the last piece of Shea Stadium falling down from last week. Clear the way for the parking lot at CitiField!! Apparently there are going to be markers in the lot where home place and the pitchers mound used to sit. **tear**

Um. Wow.

Wow! Nice shot Devo! Can you even practice this?

Monday, February 23, 2009

Natalie Portman Videos: Last night with Ben Stiller/Joaquin Phoenix vs. Badass SNL Rap WHO YA GOT?

A Few Thoughts, Nay, Criticisms of the '09 Academy Awards

First things first. A few facts about the '08 year in movies.

-The Dark Knight was the greatest movie of the year.
-Of the movies being discussed for awards, The Wrestler was the best movie of the year.
-Slumdog was a movie I enjoyed at the time I saw it, only to have it ABSOLUTELY RUINED by the credits. Let's just say that I'd be equally comfortable watching 20 year old footage of Yitzhak Rabin and Yasir Arafat doing the tango as I was watching the Slumdog credits.
-Sean Penn was great in Milk. Not to be confused with Jamie Foxx who was great in Ray, and Joaquin Phoenix was great in Walk the Line. Point being, no Oscars should be given out for those who play retards, (unless you go full-retard) gay men, real people, or any combination of these. People take these roles simply to win an Oscar. More on Sean Penn later.

As for the actual show? Sucked. Every year I follow the same pattern with the Oscars; I swear that I'm not going to watch, end up watching the first half hour, turn it off for an hour, turn it back on at 10 because I think the good awards are coming, am bored senseless by 1045, and end up being grateful for the show's end by the time midnight actually comes. A few thoughts on the parts I saw

-Wait! You mean Hugh Jackman can sing AND dance? Why then, we MUST make him an Oscars host! Who cares if he can't tell jokes? It's not like Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Jon Stewart, or Chris Rock were ever stand-up comedians before hosting, were they?

-And the intro sucked. I have a general rule about comedians-I'm not that funny and original, and I'm sure most of you will agree. So when someone makes the same joke I was making months ago, respect for their shtick is gone. I was making Hugh Jackman's joke about Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, the only Australian actors I know starring in the movie Australia a few months ago. Noone was laughing at me then, and no one was laughing with Hugh last night.

-And Hugh Jackman's song and dance about the Oscar nominees was almost as edgy as High School Musical. To paraphrase Paul Mooney, "Hugh Jackman makes Billy Crystal look like Paul Mooney."

-Is it just me or was there an Oscar musical tribute to musicals? Any time the Oscars wants to stop blowing itself, it should feel free.

-And along those lines, fellating pieces like that make me long for the Chris Rock Oscars of yore. It's great to see someone offend Hollywood elite that, frankly, are pompous enough to deserve offensive commentary. Plus, the awkwardness was Office Season One-worthy.

-And speaking of mistakes the Oscars are sure to never repeat, nice to see Bill Maher make his triumphant return to ABC. And nice of Maher to ensure that ABC will never do it again by making fun of religion to an international audience. Do I agree with everything he said? More or less. Is it more "offensive" than when Jim Carrey talked out of his ass? To those who care, probably.

-I can't believe Benjamin Button was even nominated for best editing. If they won, it would've been the biggest joke since Titanic won the same award. Can we not praise the editing of a movie that was more than two hours long?

-So I don't want to trample on a dead man's grave, but do we really need multiple people speaking for Heath Ledger? Feel free to come up on stage, but please leave the Heath Ledger tribute to the one person who truly knew Heath. (Jake Gyllenhall, COME ONNNNN DOWN!)

-So Slumdog...where to start. First off, I love that a bunch of white men were winning awards for the most popular Indian movie ever made. Who said colonialism isn't alive and well?

-This guy was the police investigator from Slumdog. It's also Mahatma in 20 years. And that is a scientific fact.

-Btw, props to Mahatma, first the Steelers, then Slumdog. What a month! And if you don't think Mahatma's new name is Slumdog, well clearly you and I, dear reader, aren't as close as I thought we were. Speaking of which, have they stopped celebrating in Murray Hill yet?

-For best movie and actors, it was nauseating seeing all the previous winners. Once again, Hollywood, stop fellating yourself!

-And lastly, good of Sean Penn to take up the cause of gay rights. After all, for 6 weeks a year or two ago, he clearly knew how it felt to be discriminated against as a gay man, right?

Cue the Hey Devo, why don't YOU tell Sean Penn the pitfalls of being gay, you non-hetero jokes.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Bring back the Whale!

Hartford (WTNH) - Hartford Mayor Eddie Perez met this morning with National Hockey League Commissioner Gary Bettman at the NHL Headquarters in Manhattan. He was there to update the Commissioner on the status of Hartford’s plans for a new arena in the city.

Mayor Perez, along with Andy Bessette, Chief Administrative Officer of the Travelers Insurance Company (who is leading a task force on private sector support for a new arena) and Oz Griebel, CEO of the MetroHartford Alliance, discussed with Commissioner Bettman the potential for including an NHL franchise in future plans for the development of a new Hartford arena.

“Today’s meeting with Commissioner Bettman was an excellent opportunity to let him know that Hartford remains interested in bringing the NHL back to Connecticut’s Capital City. We had a very good discussion and the Commissioner was generous with his time and thoughts about what was necessary for an NHL franchise to succeed,” Mayor Perez stated.

There are a couple things the hockey fans of this site can agree upon:
1) Rangers/Flyers are douches
2) Bettman is an idiot
3) We miss the old Whalers.

Nothing like the old Hartford Whalers.

Classic jerseys.

Classic anthem.

They played in a mall.

Than of course, they go to Carolina and revert from cool to lame in Hurricane form.

But alas there is hope!
Hell even a fan made Whaler jersey using the new Reebok edge looks cool:

Do it Bettman!