Saturday, January 31, 2009

Mahatma's Superbowl Pick

This has probably been the longest week of my life. Work has kicked my ass. Drinks have kicked my ass and I still have crapload of shit to do over the weekend. Sorry this is long.

Thankfully this has allowed me to not be as obsessed with the game as I'd thought I'd be. Don't get me wrong I still check every media outlet and message board every hour but I still have other thoughts going on in my head not relating to football. I took my one week break from ESPN and tuned in over the past couple of days. Apparently, the Arizona Cardinals are in the superbowl. I don't know who they are playing because the point is mute. Arizona will win because that other team isn't worthy enough to talk about.

After some research, it seems the Cardinals are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers. It doesn't matter who they are playing because the Cardinals are so hot right now.

The problems with the Steelers are well chronicled on this site and have yet to be rectified.
  • Idiot offensive coordinator. 3rd and inches. No problem! 5 wide receivers!! The problem with Arians is that he has no feel for the game. Plays don't get setup. Players aren't put into position to succeed. Not making the TE the #1 receiver on designed plays. He uses a lot of different formations but runs THE SAME plays in these formations. It’s to the point that me, BH, Brooklyn Yinzer and Iowa can determine the exact play. Now imagine what people who’ve seen the game films 100000 times can do. It’s one thing if you show something different in said formations but no, he doesn’t. it’s the lame brain predictable play calling that gets this team in trouble. He also lacks a feel of the game. Run working fine but hey let’s go 5 wide on 3rd and 1. Opponent can’t cover Heath Miller, fine let’s call plays with him blocking!. Using running backs in space is out of the question for Bruce. No huddle always works with this team because the offensive coordinator isn’t calling the plays. Nothing can be taken for granted when Bruce Arians is running an offense in the playoffs. Arians also forgets to use the Steeler’s version of Darren Sproles, Mewelde Moore. Moore was/is the offensive MVP of the season and has proved to be a dangerous weapon out of the backfield. Now with Willie Parker, it’s almost as though Moore is unable to even see the field. Look Parker should start but it’s obvious that Moore makes things happen for the offense in both run and pass. Why he isn’t allowed to see the field more especially when the offense is more in sync with him?
  • Horrendous offensive line. There isn't even a good player out of the bunch. C Justin Hartwig is best of the bunch and he got cut from Carolina last year. Add 7 million Man, Maxi Pad Starks who is a RT playing LT, Chris Kemoeatu who has an IQ of 10, Darnell Stapelton who is only playing because a Diabetic with a history of knee injuries is out for the year, and Willie "The" Colon who is talked about here.
  • All week the Cardinals have heard that they are playing with "House" money. I thought the NFL didn't condone gambling. Now even more so. Nothing to lose and everything to gain.
  • God loves Kurt Warner. From bag guy to Hall of Fame QB. God loves you Kurt and so does ESPN. God hates heathens especially those who ride motorcycles without helmets.
  • Larry Fitzgerald is the BEST RECEIVER OF ALL TIME. Like totally. Kurt Warner could throw the football into the 7th layer of hell and LFitz would catch it. Who can stop him? Ike Taylor?! WHO?!
  • Todd Haley and Ken Whisenhunt. Both are intimate with the steelers (and probably each other!) and know how to attack it. The Cheezen practiced against Dirty Dick Lebeau's defense for 3 years. I'm sure he'll know what Lebeau likes to do. Cheezen also knows what BRoth likes to do. Uh oh.
  • This Steelers defense isn't the 2000 Ravens or 2002 Bucs. Its a great defense but not an all-time great one. The Cardinals will put some points.
  • Pittsburgh are 7 point favorites, but polls from ESPN, Fox and other outlets show that the public expects Arizona to win the game outright. If Who Wants to Be a Millionaire taught us anything is always go with the audience.
  • Win one for Adrian is the rallying cry. All superbowl winning teams have a guy they sell out for. (Bettis, Manning, Strahan, etc.) Who on the Steelers deserves one that doesn't have one already?
  • Unpredictable Cardinals. Both offensively and defensively, the Cards are all about mixing it up. The Cardinals will go with two backs, two wide receivers and a tight end; two backs and three wide receivers; one back and four wide receivers; one back, two tight ends and two wide receivers; and with two backs, two tight ends and one wide receiver.Defense shifts from a 3-4, 4-3, 5-2 whatever. Their personnel can do both effectively.
  • Refs. They always screw with the Steelers especially with the 3 million dollar commercial business. Don't you think they'd love to have those advertisers keep spending their millions. Keeping it a close game will be their utmost order by Goondell.
  • Key matchups. Critical matchups include Fitzgerald vs. Taylor/McFadden. Chike Okefor/Antonio Smith vs. Willie Colon. Adrian Wilson vs. Heath Miller. Santonio Holmes vs. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Winners of these 5 matchups will win the game.
  • I normally detest the citation of single-game (or, worse, single-quarter) passer ratings, but in this case I’ll make an exception: Roethlisberger’s 22.6 rating was the lowest ever by a Super Bowl-winning quarterback. “I don’t know what [the exact rating] was,” Roethlisberger said Tuesday during his media day interview session. “But I know it wasn’t good.” Asked a follow-up question by a foreign reporter – Will you try to improve it this time? – Big Ben gave a sarcastic reply: “No, I was gonna see if I can get it lower and still win. That’s my goal.”

By all the stats, the Pittsburgh Steeler defense is the best in the league and for obvious reasons. Armed with two book end pass rushers, all world safety, deep cornerback pool and big run stuffers in the front. How on earth can Arizona beat them?

Well it's not really that difficult if you play it smart. There is not one specific thing the defense does poorly. With the rankings provided you know they are consistently very good. The things you have to hope for for the Cardinals is just those few momentary lapses of reason -- a slip here, miss read here, safety not in cover 2 there and Zona's got momentum.

On paper, the #1 defense does have some weaknesses.

First in 1st and 2nd down, the Steelers utilize cement footed (pun intended) Larry Foote. Foote is an average starter in the salary cap NFL. He does nothing really well but his problems come from a purely lack of skills. Foote can make all the plays necessary to succeed but he is quite slow for a MLB, doesn't really tackle well and is putrid in space and in coverage. Sure he'll make 6-7 tackles a game but he's prone to horrendous whiffs, bad angles and missed tackles. He also has shown an aversion to getting trucked.

Ditto his probowl running mate, James Farrior. This has not been his best season Farrior and he is noticeably slower than in previous years. He's still a captain and runs the defense but the physical limitations are beginning to creep up since last season. Last season, Maurice Jones Drew terrorized Farrior in space. The Cardinals have a similar weapon in JJ Arrington that has the speed to cause some van damage. Also Farrior with his speed dwindling has allowed some big games from the tight end position. Luckily for them, the Cardinal tight ends aren't anywhere near elite. Still i have nightmares of JJ Arrington taking a wheel route 65 yards like Darren Sproles did.

11 vs 10. One of the games within the game, is what the Steelers are to do with NT, Casey Hampton. If the Cardinals come out in the spread formation, will Dick Lebeau keep big Casey in there in an attempt to neutralize the run? The issue is Hampton offers next to nothing when rushing the passer and will likely wear himself out if ask to move all that much. Moreover, in passing situations, he can be blocked with one man. This also complicates the matter when our typical dline on passing situations is Woodley, Smith, Kiesel and Harrison. If the Steelers match up this way, than the Cardinals can plunge away against a lighter defense without the big beef.

The team is also susceptible to the draw play. While much of the defense is focused on LFitz and Boldin, can they maintain their gap integrity and sniff out a draw? Casey Hampton has ate himself into last yr and the team is getting gashed on the same delays and draws. What’s the similarities of these guys? They are all (outside of Lewis) cut back runners and quick, elusive runners and the Cardinals tandem are more cut back runners.

Faulk (NE) 6 rush, 73 yards

Morris (NE) 10 rush, 45 yards

Choice (Dal) 23 rush, 88 yards

C. Johnson (Tenn) 16 rush, 69 yards

J. Lewis (Cleve) 23 rush, 94 yards

The Steelers squashed the rushing attack of the Chargers and Ravens but still. Seeing every play this season, you see recurring things stick in your mind. The Draw/Delay are one such concern for me especially with everyone focusing on the Cardinal passing attack.

While the Pittsburgh secondary is much better than the days of Burnt Alexander, there are still some leaks. The Cardinals will get their chances. The Ratbirds left a couple of plays on the field. The Cardinals will take advantage of those. The LFitz jump ball is unfair at times and even the best defense in the league can't stop that no matter how hard Clark/Polamalu hit them.

I'm scared.

As for what I think happens, well I'm going with history. This is game is playing to the T similar to the 1980 Superbowl of the Steelers vs. Rams. Check it out here:

In Jan 1980, the Steelers were returning to the SB for the 4th time in 6 years, their second back-to-back appearance. They were a 13-point, heavily favored powerhouse that nobody in their right mind even considered having a chance to lose the game. They were playing the 9-7 division winning Los Angeles Rams, a team not many people expected to be playing in the Sup Bowl, just like the Cards in 2009. Those ’79 Rams didn’t play the Steelers in the regular season that year. However, they did play the eventual Sup Bowl champion ’78 Steelers in the previous regular season. And that Ram team beat them, by a score of 10-7. This was one of two regular season losses that year in a 14-2 season for the Steelers. This fact was largely discounted going into the ’79 Sup Bowl (Sup Bowl 14). Much the same way that the ‘07 Cardinal team, under new head coach Whisenhunt, shut down the Steelers in a 21-14 regular season win last season. And, just like the Rams of ’79, the Cardinals did not play our Steelers in ’08. Yet, here they are, a 9-7 division winner that nobody expected to be there, playing for the Sup Bowl title. Of course, history tells us the Steelers won on that famous Sunday in January of 1980. But, it was a pucker game for us. Bradshaw had to overcome 3 INTs, and we were losing 19-17 two minutes into the 4th quarter. While Bradshaw won the MVP of that game, it was Larry Anderson returning a 140+ yards worth of kicks that made a huge impact, as well as 2 tremendous catches on long bombs by John Stallworth. Interestingly, there was a famous former Steelers coach on that Rams team that knew quite a bit about our team, by the name of Bud Carson. He was the Rams DC then. And his knowledge of the Stillers made quite a difference in that Super Bowl. These ’08 Cards have some coaches (Grimm, Whisenhunt) and players (Tuman, Morey) that are fairly familiar with our team as well. We should assume these fellows have a decent understanding of the Stillers’ weaknesses, and a keen interest in exploiting those weaknesses rather than blindly flogging themselves against the Stillers’ strengths.

Look this always happens. People don't expect the Cardinals to do anything and they dominate. Now everyone is on their jock. NOT ME. This team plays like dogshit when they are the talk of the town and if you tuned to ESPN, they are. They might be 7 point underdogs but I'd venture in saying the underdog role has gone full circle from the Cardinals last week to the Steelers on sunday. People have forgotten how bad the Cardinals have been at times this year and that they gave up nearly 500 yards last time they played at home. Now they will be on the "road" with a huge Steeler brigade already in Tampa.

The love for Fitzgerald, Edge, Boldin, and Warner is so much right now that the Steelers are no longer the favorite to win the game. It's just asanine to hear about the Cardinals being the under dog. Steelers need to play with that chip and all will be good.

During the Cowboy/Steeler game, I felt which team won that game would win the Superbowl. The team that won that game is now playing in the superbowl. I'm not right about a lot of things but I'll ride this wave.

Pittsburgh - 34
Arizona - 21

Superbowl MVP:

The Brooklyn Hillbilly Tells You, For The Last Time, Why The Steelers Are Going Home With #6

Right after Troy Polamalu's taint in the AFC Championship Game, my uncle, an accomplished(at least experienced) sporting handicapper, predicted the Steelers would be favored by 9 points in Super Bowl XXXIII. He wasn't far off. The opening line, as we all know, was 7pts. It briefly dipped to 6.5, but has stabilized again at 7 over the last 11 days. Now, what does this stability tell you? That the people who actually put their money on the line with their football opinions, despite all the media hype of the last two weeks, are fairly confident that the Steelers will win this game. I, friends, am one of them.

I hope we see a lot of you Sunday Matt.

But lets look at whats come about in the last week and a half in the opinionsphere/asshatville world of sports analysts. Evidently, the Cardinals have turned into the 1999 St. Louis Rams and the Steelers have become a team with deep defensive flaws. Two weeks ago, there was a fight over who was the best receiver in football, Larry Fitzgerald or Andre Johnson. Now, Fitz is the G.O.A.T. Where two weeks ago, Troy Polamalu and Ed Reed vied for the title of best safety in the league, Adrian Wilson has now emerged as the best since Jack Tatum. Kurt Warner went from being a nice comeback story to having what John Clayton called "an MVP type season" and a Hall of Fame debate swirling around him. The Steelers went from going 12-4 against the hardest schedule in 30 years to being a team that barely scraped by the regular season and only advanced this far due to luck, referees and a defense that will eventually fall apart. And the Cardinals went from being a 9-7 team that finished the season 2-4, won the worst division in football and had the 28th ranked scoring defense to an unstoppable offensive force coupled with the fastest defense seen in the last 10 years. In the words of my country cousins: HOGWASH. Don't believe the hype! Here's why Dan Rooney is flying home with some new hardware:

When the Steelers have the ball

Ladies Love Cool Willie

1---Willie needs to put on his grinding shoes for this game, because Arizona is going to do everything they can to stop him and put the game on Ben's shoulders. Because of that, I hope Bruce Arians hasn't forgotten about Mewelde Moore. Moore is arguably the Steelers most explosive offensive player- IF HE IS USED. I don't know what member of Arians' family Mewelde impregnated, but he has gotten shelved in a hurry after only saving our asses in a number of games this year. Further, in today's NFL, you HAVE to have a back who can catch passes. Willie is not that guy, neither is Gary Russell, but Mewelde does it brilliantly. He needs to be utilized on screens and used as a release valve on blitzes. Now is not the time to hold anything back BA. Regardless, Willie will have a good-great game. He always seems to come up big in big spots and a repeat of his record breaking 75yd TD run in XL is not out of the question.


2---If the Steelers can survive the first quarter without a Big Ben interception, they will win this game. This has been said ad naseum over the last two weeks, but Ben cant have as bad a game as he did in Super Bowl XL. Actually, I think there are ways for him to do just as badly but have the D pull his ass out of the fire. We will know if they have to by the beginning of the second quarter. If nerves get to Ben again, hes gonna fuck up in the first and its gonna be a long game. If not, I see him being solid for the game. He might still throw a pick, but it will be one of those fluky plays that no one can do much about. Frankly, watching Ben develop over the past 5 years, hes pretty solidly in the cool as a cucumber gunslinger category now. Situations that would have lesser QBs turtling and flinching waiting for hits put Ben into playmaker mode. To be honest, hes unlike any other QB since Elway: the moments he leaves the pocket are full of anticipation(and admittedly a lil bit of terror) for what kind of amazing play he will pull off. Id love to see if someone has done a breakdown of Ben's stats inside vs. outside the pocket, cuz I cant really remember(caution I'm drunk and probably wrong about this) him making any major fuckups when hes on the move.

Bring it Jesus. Harrison will put a hurt on you.

3--- My nemeses, the offensive line, have stepped it up in the last 1/4 of the season and the playoffs. My season long contention has been that units get better the more they play with each other.(that sounded kinda dirty, sorry) The thing I always noticed with the great o-lines of the last decade (colts, pats, etc) has been the amazing continuity. They can handle pretty much anything thrown at them because they are a tight group, they all eat together, go on trips together and end up knowing each other really well. And really, that's a unique thing in sports. Sure, shortstops and second basemen need to get comfortable with each other to turn consistent great double plays, but you have 162 games to do it in. Plus, theres 5 of them. Just think of the last time you were out with 3-4 of your really close friends and you had to bring along a couple new guys that no one really knows. Its sorta awkward, right? You're wondering if you should tell that Puerto Rican joke you heard at work and everyone sorta gets into a dick measuring contest about drinking/women/whatever. Well, imagine your paycheck is riding on knowing what the new guys reaction to that joke will be or knowing if he really can handle another double shot of bourbon. The point is, the Steelers line has been like Swiss cheese the last 3 years because they were starting a different 5 every week for two seasons. It was only this year that there was anything resembling stability on the line. And what do you know, after a few weeks working together in the same spots, they started getting better. Look, Ill guarantee Ben is going to the ground at least 2 times Sunday, because this o-line could know each other like Abbot and Costello but that wont make up for a lack of talent, only mask it for a few hours a week. But I am pretty confident that Ben will get some time to make plays in the pocket and Willie will get enough room to run. And really, that's what I like about this team, they don't need a lot to win, they just need enough.

When the Cards have the ball

1--- Arizona will have no ground game. That is all.

"Men of steel, men of steel..."

None of Fitzgerald's TD catches last week were great plays. If you leave a hole in coverage in the middle of the field the size of a McMansion, yes, a great receiver will burn you for a short TD inside the 10. Run a trick play and have the cornerback fall down, yes, that bodes well for success. Get a questionable PI call then throw a lob to your 6'-3" over a 5'-10" corner, YES, that will score you a TD. I think the Cards will get ONE of these things to happen Sunday, two if God really hates me, but those plays just cant be made consistently against the Steeler D.

Ill have the Kurt Warner Lunch Special.

3--- Kurt Warner only threw the ball more than 20 yards 6 times this offseason. 3 of those were on trick plays. These guys cant throw long, especially with a senior citizen as QB. Look for Polamalu and Clark to cheat up and pop Fitz and Boldin on those short to medium routes. That will make them a little wary to go across the middle and will make Kurt Warners conscience start telling him to throw to the outside, right into the arms of the Steeler cornerbacks.(Warner actually almost retired over this a few years ago. He felt bad about putting receivers in the position to get creamed. Pansy.) Fitz made a good day great by running across the middle against the Eagles, I don't think Dick LeBeau or Ryan Clark will let that happen. A short, quick passing game will net some yards and first downs, but it leaves you susceptible to batted balls at the line and picks on jumped routes. Every time you throw against this Steelers D, there is a 7% chance of a pick(scientifically calculated by our crack team of SUS mathematicians, of course), so if Warner throws 50 times, expect a couple picks.

For the last time this year, your ferocious mascot for the ferocious D.

Look, the Cardinals have gotten the bounces the last few weeks and are seemingly the team of destiny. Theres no doubting that. But a good (rare) point was made in an SI article this week, defense doesn't win championships, you can beat it with a better offense. GREAT defenses are what win championships. And that's exactly what they've got in Pittsburgh. Ill be drinking a six-pack to celebrate this six-pack. Steelers win a shiny new trophy, 27-13.

Birds of a feather...

Friday, January 30, 2009

You can have your Super Bowl, Pittsburgh...


White Boy picks the Superbowl he will only see 1/2 of

The steelers boast one of the top 5 defenses of all time. It features the best safety I have ever seen play, a rising superstar lineman and the best defensive coordinator in the league. Pittsburgh's 4 losses this year came against 3 very physical teams and the Colts. There is no way that Arizona's offense can man up against the hardest hitting defense since many moons ago when Ray Lewis actually backed up his trash talking. Arizona has a pretty team. It's offense is explosive and it has made fine adjustments in the playoffs running the ball more than 50% of the time up from a paltry 32% of Cheezinhunt's play calls in the regular season. I know that said coach knows the Steelers well but no coaching can counteract this defense. The Cards will finally be exposed as one of the physically weakest teams to ever represent the National Football Conference in the big game.
THE PICK: STEELERS (35-19.4999)

P.S. Pittsburgh will score 2 defensive touchdowns.

A Super Bowl Pick

Jamie Dixons (-7) over Shane Doans


Look, pretty much every Steeler game has looked something like this:

1. Steelers are clearly the better team, get an early touchdown, but their offense lets the other team hang around for a while.

2. The Steelers D lets up very little, possibly a big play here or there, but definitely never enough to make you think that they're going to lose the game.

3. Every time the opposing team is driving, they will be held to a field goal. At most.

4. The opposing team will get about 3 chances to win the game down 4-8 points in the 4th quarter. The first two times they will be stopped, usually in 3 and outs. The second time, someone on the Pitt D, usually Polamalu, will either pick off a pass or pick up a fumble and return it for a touchdown. Steelers win by 11-15.

So as for this game: Steelers will control the game in such a way that no one thinks that Arizona is really going to win the game. But thanks to an early big play by Warner and bend-but-don't break defense of the Cards, they will only be down 16-10. And then, as is standard, Super Bowl MVP Troy Polamalu picks off his second pass of the game and returns it for a touchdown.

Final Score: 23-10 Pitt.

SUS Reviews Steeler Fan Song Videos

BH: Gotta love the accent. They got great shooting locations too. Even the trashy cheerleader fits right in. Props all around. ****

Mahatma: Yinzerific and yet perfect. Myron Cope in between is like music to my ears. This song is going be in my head all day and the video gives me chills. ****

BH: Devo, I know what you are thinking, and shes probably not legal, so back off. That said, these guys are a better cover band than the rockstar karaoke I go to. Lyrics well done also. ***1/2

Mahatma: Love her and the lyrics. This is what I want from a karaoke band and they rock. I prefer this more than the original. ***

BH: This years edit of possibly the most annoying song of all time. Still sticks in your head tho. Decent job on the slideshow, but nothing special. *

Mahatma: HATE THIS SONG. Everything bad about the Steeler fanbase is epitomized in this song. AYRE WE GOOOOOOW. UGH. DUD

BH: Chill song, even if the singer sounded like he was a little too stoned to keep up with the drum machine(ahem!). I liked that the slideshow focused on the fans and history instead of just showing pics of the players. Not an elite prospect, but a solid role player. ***

Barry White wannabe is alright. I don't mind the beat and the pictures give me a nostalgic feeling. **1/2

BH: This one is from '05, but its one of the best Ive ever seen. Its got everything you could ever hope for in a fan video: embarassing moments for young children to regret in later years, a guy in a foam cowboy hat playing the accordion and a guy singing in Chinese. "He runs a three point one minute mile. Do the MATH!". This gets an A++ in every category even if it is a remake of the Polka. *****

The Polka is my favorite and this production is just outstanding all around. Sure it's a remake but this is what should be played in every Steeler bar in the country. The creepy guy and awful family singing was a turn off at first but crescendo'd into kielbasa like awesomeness. Next year, I'm convincing BH to get an accordion. *****

Another one from '05. Its a little outdated, but come on, it the "manamanah" guy. *****

Mahatma: Love it! A classic. *****

Best song of the bunch, reminds me of my Allman Bros/Phish days. You could actually dance to this. Fat guy at 1:32 saves the video portion. ***1/2

This makes me feel like I'm back in my neighborhood Pittsburgh watering hole where everyone is 45, single / divorced and a lush. Feel good music at least. *

BH: Every fan base needs a shitty 80s band. **

Mahatma: A yinzer version of white snake combined with the beat that sounds like "and we pretend that we're dead" L7 song. **

BH: The house music version of Steeler pride. Pretty pathetic. *1/2

Mahatma: Dude no way. I could totally hear this at a lounge and be cool with it. Anyone got some glowsticks? ****

BH: Country music pretty much sums up my Steeler fan relationship. It is often depressing and makes me want to drink. ****

I can respect this though it isn't my cup of tea. I'd listen to this if I was going to a tractor pull but this won't be appearing on my ipod anytime soon. **

Dude I hate this song. Kanye is usually the best of shit radio, but this is his worst song. And this pretty much lives up to the original. *

Poseurific but it's tolerable. Lyrics are solid. I hate Akon though.[BH note: Mahatma evidently doesn't keep up with what the kids are listening to. Cant say I blame him] **1/2

BH: Whats with the rocker chick remakes? Whatever it is, it works. ***

Isn't this the same band as above? Video is solid but I prefer the live version. **

Thursday, January 29, 2009 are you fucking serious? Jeez!! How hard is it to get this right.....

Image Preview

I just don't get it. This is question 7 from's Super Bowl Trivia. The Steelers is a #2 seeds you incompetent fucks. How do I know this without any research yet you professionals mess this up?? ugh!

7) The last time the Super Bowl was held in Tampa, a No. 4 seed (which the Steelers are this year) was the winning team. Which team was the winner of that game?


Are you ready for the Boss!!!

He's saying what we're all thinking!

1. The Rising

For his first song, Bruce is going to need to play a song that is a) more popular than good and b) has a catchy and familiar intro. The Rising is both of these. This criteria is why when The Who play four songs, they open with Who Are You, and not Baba.

2. Glory Days

Another song that is more popular/thematic than it is good, though not a bad song in its own right. Look, Born in the USA was too popular of an album for Bruce to ignore in this 4 song opus of a performance. So which song gets played? Dancing in the Dark is cheesy and my mom's favorite song (not a compliment to Bruce) and probably comes off lousy in concert. If Bruce plays My Hometown, there's going to be Bruce cardboard cutouts draped in Mahatma's Warren Sapp jersey being burned at the stake. The choice comes down to Glory Days and Born in the USA. And while there may not be a more American event than the Super Bowl, I hope that Bruce, unlike Ronnie Reagan remembers that Born in the U.S.A. is a protest song. Glory Days, on the other hand, certainly seems like a good song to play during at a time in our lives when the scoreboard will read Pitt 14, Arizona 7. One last pretenious side note: the best songs on Born in the U.S.A. are Bobby Jean and No Surrender.

For the record, if Bruce plays 3 songs instead of 4, Rising gets taken out.

3. Working on A Dream

The man and his band have a new album coming out. They're going to play a song off of it. Deal with it. Go take a leak and be back in 3 minutes. Because then it will be time for...

4. Born To Run

You always end these things with your signature songs. For example, the Who generally ends with Won't Get Fooled Again. Oh, and Bruce ends a good amount of his shows with this song. My question: how many bad puns will Al Michaels make if Edge or FWP have either negative yards or more than 80 by the end of the first half?

Some people would say that there's only 76 hours until the game begins. And that may be true, but everyone in the great state of New Jersey knows that there's only 78 hours until the REAL performance begins. Personally, I hope Bruce does a four song set or Rosalita/Jungleland/Tenth Avenue Freezeout/Growing up if only because that guarantees us a 45 minute halftime show. Speaking of which, Rosie...COME OUT TONITE!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why Noone Cares About Your Super Bowl

The future Mrs. Devo. Aka: Kate Mara, the one thing that everyone on this site can give props to. Even MissMet.

What a difference a year makes in the Tri-State Area. While 3/7 of this site are more pumped than White Boy or myself going on a date with Kate Mara, I've found that most of my non-Steelers people in the area aren't looking forward to the game. Sure, they'll go out if something's happening, but they'd go out if anything is even thinking of happening, sports-related or not. By this time last year, most of my people had their plans. (Mostly due to having them promise me that they would go exactly where they went the last 3 playoff games to watch the SB. I'd be shocked if less than 90% lied to me about sticking with the same locale.)

This year? Not at all. Even my dad's crew, which usually runs at least 4 or 5 couples deep on Super Sunday has just been delegated to him and a buddy of his. And I think his buddy is only coming over because he has two daughters and doesn't want to go through the shame of trying to beg to flip to the game during Gossip Girl commercials. So these are some theories why no one in the area cares about Super Bowl XLIII

1. No Giants. The simple answer is that there is no local team playing in the Super Bowl, so why should New York care with such alternatives as the Knicks and Islanders to occupy our time? But last year was the 5th time a New York team was in the Super Bowl in its 43 year history. I'm 26, vaguely remember doing the Ickey shuffle, and I've only seen 3 Giants appearances in a 21 year span.

But this answer is two-fold:

a) Last year was a great story.
The Giants are not the only team to rise from regular season punching bags to Super Bowl Champions. (Looking your way, Cowher.) But let's remember last year's run one more time. (TO AVOID A POTENTIALLY BORING RECAP OF THE LAST 4 GAMES OF THE '07-'08 GIANTS' SEASON SKIP THE NEXT 3 PARAGRAPHS)

First, you had the Giants, doing everything in their power to derail the Patriots juggernaut in week 17. Despite the valiant effort, the Patriots held on thanks to Randy Moss serving James Butler, the play that put Moss and Brady specifically, and the Patriots team as a whole, in the record books at 16-0. Everyone thought that it was the best the Giants could do. Then, the Tampa game, where they played efficiently enough to win, much to my chagrin. I was hoping they could lose so that the front office could burn this village down in order to save it. But then you had the Dallas game, which was probably better than the following week because the Giants ended the 'inevitable' Dallas/Patriots matchup, and sent T.O. crying to the media. That game was the only time I saw the Cowboys lose with Jerry Jones on the sidelines.

And at this point, it was a successful season. I was ready to fold it up and call it a night. But what the hell, might as well see if they could beat the Packers in the bitter cold, right? And a strange thing happened: the Giants dominated the Packers. Oh, it took an OT field goal to win, but consider the following: 7 of the Packers 17 points came on one short pass where Butler and Webster tackled each other; the Giants had two opportunities to win the game on field goals and failed; Ahmad Bradshaw had a roughly 40 yard td run late in the 4th that was called back because of a phantom hold call; Favre had a few chances to rock a game winning drive and much to Madden and Peter King's shock, he failed. And just like that the Giants, Eli Manning and the whole crew, were going to the Super Bowl. We all knew they wouldn't beat the Patriots, but it was a good run by all, and if nothing else, I was fully prepared for another 2-3 years of Coughlin and Eli. Pretty much every NFC East fan said they would root for the Giants in the Super Bowl, no small feat.

And then a weird thing happened: the Giants not only had a helluva opening drive against the vaunted Pats D, they stopped Brady during the final two minutes of the half. And they didn't just stop him, Tuck and Osi forced a fumble with a hit that practically cracked my own ribs. As I texted to BH and roughly all 3 of my other friends, 'The Russian's been cut!' The Giants were down, but they hadn't led at the half of any of their playoff games, so no big deal. The Super Bowl was New York's to lose. And then the second half happened: Tyree, Plax, Alford's sack, and the Giants, were Champions. I always knew I'd eventually see a Giants Super Bowl win in my lifetime. But my dad's? I couldn't believe it. People were calling congratulations and I let it go. I didn't want to take my eyes off the TV, knowing how rare it could be.

Still with me? All of this is to say that last year was unbelievable. The Giants were America's Team and New York loved it. It was an unbelievable story, and everyone south and west of Hartford was buying what Eli was selling. People who never followed football suddenly became diehard Giants fans. Hell, even my mom watched. Even Jets fans were thrilled that Brady was proven human. But no one's kidding themselves. Nothing that exciting can possibly happen again this year. So they'll flip on the game during Simpsons commercial breaks.

b) Giant fans feel that the Eagles robbed them of a repeat. Most Giant fans, deep down, are smart enough to know that more than the Eagles stood in the way of a Giants repeat. Giant fans will acknowledge that the team was lousy for all of December. But this team was so great for the first three months that there's no way most fans accept that the same team that manhandled the Ravens, and went on the road to beat both Super Bowl teams. Winning the Super Bowl last year was fun. But repeating would've been real nice too. After all, where's Kenny Phillips' ring?

2. No Patriots. There's not even any team for New Yorkers to rally against. As touched upon above, most fans across the country did not rally around the Giants because they got lost in Eli's Manning crossed eyes. No, they loved it because the Drago-esque Patriots were shown to possess flaws. And this year, there just aren't any asshole teams to root against. Sure Giant fans don't want to see Ben with more hardware than Eli. And those of us who like to separate church and football don't want to hear about how god took time off from his Africa business trip to help Warner complete a post pattern to Fitzgerald. But other than the Patriots, Cowboys, and Eagles, I'm relatively indifferent to the rest of the league winning a Super Bowl.

3. Obama. Look, America has room for exactly one late January/early February celebration, and Barack beat the NFL to the punch. Obama was wrong, there are precisely two Americas. One America is lazily enjoying change by keeping pace of every activity that Obama does, while the other America is too busy protecting their property with their six newly-acquired automatic weapons. Whether you're drunk on change and tequila or keeping a close lookout for a roving band of Rev. Wrights, you really don't care about a stupid game. You have life to worry about.

4. Are you kidding me? It's hockey season! (Or maybe it's the economy.)

Next up: the most in depth prediction of Springsteen's halftime setlist allowed by the Koran.

What Really Grinds my Gears

(1) I am not bitter about this year's Superbowl at all. Okay, maybe I am a little bit. However, I am kind of disappointed with how disinterested I am in this game. I wouldn't compare this to the "why can't both these teams lose" Superbowl 39 where I was hoping a bomb would kill every player on both the Eagles and the Pats. However, I just can't get into this game. Maybe this is what happens the year after your team wins it and said team is not a participant in the following years big game. However, it seems more like I just find this match up entirely unappealing. The Steelers winning another bowl does not chap me nor does it stimulate me. The cards winning a bowl?? Eh, who cares. It aleady made history just by getting to a Bowl. Do I need to see Jesus Statue get another title? Not really. Oh well, heres to the Steeelers winning 35 to 19.4999999 (more on that later)

(2) Can White Boy Senior please stop telling me how "Blago" is somehow a good guy who is just being made an example of by everyone. The guy not only clearly was selling the Senate seat to the highest bidder but he is lying about it through his teeth to every talk show in America. Just because he, like you loves all Black people, doesn't mean he's not a creep.
(3) Can the School District on long Island that Mrs. White Boy Senior works at please get a freakin clue and close school today. The School District I am interning at was wise enough to not let all of its employees drive on icy and snow filled roads. My poor mother was up since 630 reading the scroll on News 12 Long Island only to have her dreams of a morning watching AL Roker and Tiki on NBC quashed. Oh well.
(4) Screw the Knicks for scheduling their big home games next week against LA and Cleveland on nights I can't make it. Sure, I am going with White Girl to the Celts game Friday but that's not the point. I am White Boy, I should have the opportunity to go to all of these games. How else is this site going to get comprehensive Knicks Coverage??!!

(5) Finally, screw me! What an idiot. I took a 2 beer -15.5 bet on the Steelers with Devo. I actually think that I can win this bet but it was not a wise one to make. I voluntarily gave Devo 7.5 extra points to work with. I just hope I am buying him 1 dollar bud's and not beers at a local watering hole on "9 Dollar Beer Night!". Thank you "Knocked Up" for that one.

The Manatee has spoken....

Super Fish Bowl: Manatees Pick Steelers Over Cards At Mote

It's 3 to 1 Steelers.

At least in the Marine world.

Today a pair of manatees and sea turtles made their Super Bowl predictions at Mote Marine Laboratory in Sarasota. Buffett the Manatee appeared to head for the Cardinals logo when he made a last second decision to swing to the Steelers.

The crowd, made up of media, tourists and volunteers, went wild. Either way Buffett came away happy with a carrot. His tank mate, Hugh, agreed, giving the Steelers unanimous support from manatees.

Uhhh one thing though. Isn't the Manatee a mammal? Regardless, the manatee is probably better than 98% of ESPN writers and you should all pour your money into Vegas.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Reasons to Hate the Cardinals

I hate interrupting everyone from the growing media circus that is the Superbowl but do you really need to know that the Steelers/Cardinals have arrived to Tampa, Larry Fitzgerald is great and Ken Cheezenhunt was the former OC of the Steelers 2 years ago? (For the record, Ken Cheezenhunt being the former OC of the Steelers is the new Jerome Bettis is from Detroit)

As a Steeler guy, I don't really hate the Cardinals all that much. Sure there is Cheezenhunt and FAT FUCK Russ Grimm who took turns annoying me to all hell with their actions on a Pittsburgh sidelines but what about the rest of them? No, this isn't me getting soft but SUS nation has to find it puzzling why me, BH and Yinzer are way more positive than usual and our positivity isn't what brought us to the dance. So to bring myself back to angry and bitter person I normally am, I'm here to help you HATE those bastards from the Feel Good Story of the Year, the Arizona Cardinals. Sure, it took a while to find stuff to hate about them but mission accomplished! At least for my bitterself.

Kurt Warner has a story that will likely be a made for tv picture on CBS any year now. I'll have to hear about Kurt Warner's "faith" a million times leading up to February 1st, and every sound bite of his will be his praising the "Lord". Days of ass-kissing to an invisible wizard in the sky will continue my drift to insanity.

Look I know he found jesus and everything and he's a likeable but i'll bet you are there are some Iowaians/etc. that are probably pretty annoyed by him. Look it doesn't take a rocket scientist but I'm sure he bagged the wrong groceries a few times.

Now that Kurt Warner's wife has actually a female haircut where are all the crowd shots of her? Look I know St. Louis isn't the Style capital of the world but seriously, what the hell was that and why was she the focal point of the broadcast? Also did anyone ever tell her the Gozer look never worked unless you're in Ghostbusters?

Darnell Dockett -- Maybe that's how they beat the Falcons?

Antrelle Rolle -- Typical douche out of the U.

Ken Whisenhunt (CHEEZENHUNT) has an uncanny resemblance to the bastard child of Eliot Spitzer and Bill Cowhard.

Anquan Boldin -- What a baby. When the rest of the league hates when TO/Chode/etc. gets all huffy and puffy, shoudn't we do the same to Mr. Boldin.

Matt Leinart. Oh come on you know you just want to smack him back to LA where he belongs with his perfect 10 model girl friends. He's the epitome of the guy that cut in front of you during the lunch line and stole your girlfriend. He probably wore a letter jacket too. That's just highschool for douche right there.

Towel Sacrilege: Look if TJ Doucheman, Lenwhale White haven't taught you anything than you do not desecrate the Terrible Towel. Here we have the mayor and mascot doing bad things to the Terrible Towel. And now they have their own one.

Grimm's answer to Mariucci was this: "Well we have our white Terrible Towels that our fans wave"!! This asshat is trying to compare the legend of the Terrible Towel to these measely little white towels. Also waving the white towel? You are surrendering already?!

And most importantly, idiot cardinal fan videos! Who know that such a fanbase could grow into this big vast nation in only 3 weeks time! Look at the gloss on these shiney new Cardinal jerseys!

Can he name 5 players on his own team? Doubtful.

Nice CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP TSHIRT KID. Anyway, Creepy. This goes out to all parents on this site, PLEASE REFRAIN FROM GETTING YOUR CHILDREN WEBCAMS. Lord knows your kid could be on this site getting shat on from us, 15+ his senior. Yes we (I) live a sad existence.

They made this poor little Eagle fan cry.

There you have it. They smell. They stink and their fans are annoying. This is totally an open and shut case that even Devo could put away.

Yinzer's Super Bowl Thoughts

Just like everyone else, especially in the sports world, the Super Bowl has become the #1 sports focus of Yinzer’s life; which is made substantially easier by the Pens not even attempting to be a good team this year and pissing him off to no end. So I am here to bestow upon you my thoughts going into the Super Bowl.

I’ve decided to break this into two sections: one based on the actual literal translation of the word “thoughts,” and the other based on the Yinzer’s translation of “thoughts” which means “all the storylines that are pissing me off because I’m an irritable bastard”

Yinzer’s Thoughts

It’s not going to be an easy game one way or the other
Some people are saying the Steelers can’t stop Larry Fitzgerald or those other guys who are on Arizona’s offense. Some say the Cardinals have no hope of cracking the Steelers defense. There are calls for blowouts on both sides. What doesn’t seem to be acknowledged much is that both team’s weaknesses through the year. The Cardinal’s defense and the Steelers offensive line, have been playing good during the playoffs. In other words, what real weak points both teams had aren’t really weak points right now, throwing things up in the air.

No Curse was lifted/demons exorcised at the AFC Championship Game
Media keeps saying this about the Steelers, as if the AFCC was somehow an impenetrable barrier to the team, especially on home field, and that they finally won “exorcised the demons.” Well I got news for you: it wasn’t some curse or bad luck or anything. But in a way it was a demon that kept them from reaching the Super Bowl by losing four championship games. And it just so happens I have a picture of said demon right here:

Mike Tomlin Rules
I’m not ready to say he’s a great coach or anything of that sort. He rules because of things like in this picture:

What you see is Tomlin not looking happy. What you don't see is that he is actually holding the AFC title trophy. Have you ever seen someone so dissatisfied and borderline angry with winning such a big game? The man knows it means shit and he’s not going to be happy until it’s the Lombardi Trophy there. But that’s what you expect of Tomlin. What else would you of a guy who wears a puffy coat for sheer aesthetics, leaving it open during a -10 degree windy day just so he can tell winter “fuck you!”

Seen here: Tomlin mocking grandpa winter

Yes, I’m just as surprised as everyone else the Cardinals are here
I mean really, who the hell expected the Cardinals? I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already, but you do have to give them props. And I’m also kind of glad; should the Steelers lose I don’t utterly despise this team like I do say the Ravens for Eagles (they are from Philly, hence automatic douchebags).

John Madden is announcing the game
Ugh. Not only does he hate the Steelers, but he is just so obvious it’s ridiculous. How he can even be considered to be put on tv or radio anymore boggles my mind. How many more times do we have to hear insightful comments like “you have to score to win games” ??? Seriously, just give the man a ham and keep him away from the booth.

"Get in my belly!"

Yinzer’s “Thoughts”

I’m Sick of the “No Respect” bullshit

Yes Cardinals, we get it, you think no one respects you because you had no chance of going to the Super Bowl. You’ll have to forgive them for thinking that though since you are, well the Arizona Fucking Cardinals! You’ve been pitiful nearly you’re entire existence, and before this year there were a lot of teams that had more Super Bowl wins than you have playoff wins. You had become a symbol of futility surpassed only by the Millen managed Detroit Lions. So no one gave you respect, and you’re losing what respect you’ve gained by bringing it up every freaking chance you get.

By the way, you know who also did the whole “no respect” thing? The Patriots. So congrats, you’re acting like the most despicable team in the NFL. That’s not normally a good way to earn others respect. Maybe Whizenhunt should steal the clothes off a dead bum like Bill Belichick to give it more effect?

Screw the “we’re the underdog” crap
I so wanted the Steelers to come out building up the Cardinals to be a great team and saying how little they proved, how they had no chance with a shitty o-line and a legally retarded offensive coordinator. Just bash themselves so it makes the point utterly worthless. This ties into the no respect thing. Get over it and yourselves.

Whizenhunt’s knowledge of the Steelers Defense gives him the edge.
All the media keeps going on about how the Whiz’s practicing against Lebeau is such an advantage, yet most either ignore or blow off the fact that Lebeau knows Whiz’s offense! They point to his trick plays and teaching Ben what he knows, yet give no credit to Lebeau for being a highly adaptive coordinator who comes up with many unreadable schemes. How you give credit to one and not the other is beyond me. It’s a freakin wash. Period.

Anything About Kurt Warner
Yes, he’s old. Yes, he’s been to the Super Bowl twice. Yes, he’s a Jesus freak. Yes, his wife looked like a man for years. I’ve never had anything against Warner, but I’m getting sick of hearing about him and everything he has, is or will do already.

Obama is a Steeler fan
People really think this. It had nothing to do with Obama trying to get votes from the city, especially making buddy buddy with Dan Rooney, whose puppet strings to make people believe he is still alive are becoming more and more visible. And Rooney wouldn’t support him because he can be friends with the president of the free world would he? I mean, who the hell want the US President as their buddy? No favors could come from that could it? For those that actually think this friendship and Obama’s team loyalty is real: get over it idiots. Obama doesn’t give a crap about the Steelers and you’re stupid for believing the hype. "Here we go votes... er, Steelers! Yeah, here we go votes! Shit, I did it again!"

A note as likely to cheer up Mahatma and BH as it is to make SHMUCK take broken glass to his wrists

No Super Bowl Champion has ever lost to the Jets during the previous regular season....(Jets 56 Arizona 35) except for the '01 Patriots. And when is a win not a win? When you concuss Drew Bledsoe and begin the Tom Brady era.

Monday, January 26, 2009

"What would you do?" Metallica or Bowl 43

With all apologies (please don't sue us!) to the folks from the one hit wonder City High, I have a tough call to make. Metallica, my favorite rock band, (all apologies to Led Zeppelin, Queen and the Who) is performing February 1st at the Rock in majestic downtown Newark. As most of you reading this probably immediately realized, this is indeed Superbowl Sunday. However, being the genius that I am, I had my dad's friend who is both Metallica's and Billy Joel's agent, get me tickets for the third and final concert Metallica is doing this coming week in the area. Had I simply checked the calender, I could have easily gotten tickets for the Thursday or Saturday day night shows. Well, those shows are sold out so its either Steelers vs. Cardinals or my favorite band live at the Pru. Whatever shall a boy do?? Here are a few of my pros and cons of going to the concert. Please vote on what you would do if you were in my shoes and please add any other pros or con's that I couldn't think of.


1) This game does nothing for me. I am bitter that my team is out of it and is better than the NFC representative. Also, the Steelers will win by double digits because they are playing the worst team to ever make the big game. So the game itself is not high on my list of highly anticipated super bowls.

2) This is my only chance to see Metallica maybe ever. Their U.S. tour ends Sunday night and then goes to Europe for three months. How could I live with myself if I never got to see my favorite band.

3) I can even watch the first half at a bar in Newark. If the Steelers are up by 15 which I fully expect to happen, then I will not have missed any substantial part of either the concert (which starts at about 8:30) or the big game.


1) Its the fucking Super Bowl you nutless douchebag!! You can't miss the big game. You live for the NFL. So what your team isn't in it. You won it last year so it shouldn't be thaaaaat hard for you to watch it.

2) Fuck Metallica for making its concert on Bowl Sunday. Seriously what the hell? This is the highest rated TV Show in the World save the World Cup and by far the biggest TV event in the U.S. Have a little respect for the football fanatic wing of your fanclub.

3) If I leave the big game at halftime and the game is within 1 score, I will be anxious as hell. How can I possibly pull myself away from the TV at that point.

I am close to making a decision but will not officially decide till late tonight. All comments and suggestions are encouraged. Thank you everyone for recognizing the serious nature of this life altering decision. Okay, fine its not quite that big but its still kind of important.

SUS NFL Season in Review: Part II

Let's get right to it.

Offensive Rookie of the Year

Point: (Matt Ryan) You could make a legitimate argument for any of Matty Ice, Chris Johnson or Joe Flacco (especially if you don’t look at Flacco’s last two playoff games). But I’m going to cheat here and count the playoffs in making this decision. Ryan laid an egg against Arizona by using the same snap count the entire game. Flacco was awful the last two games and the Ravens only beat the Titans in spite of him. Chris Johnson was the only one of the three to show up in the playoffs, as the Titans had a running game until he got hurt. Johnson gets it.
Counterpoint: I thought we weren’t including the playoffs there cheater? Listen Stalin, you still got to give it to Matty Ice. The Shitans were a playoff team last year and didn’t have to go nearly as far as they ended up when compared to the Falcons. Ryan did help the once dreadful Falcons to become the trendy Super Bowl pick next season.
Final Word:
(Johnson) Calling me Stalin isn’t going to make your argument succeed. But since we both think it should be Chris Johnson, let’s give it to him.

Defensive Rookie of the Half Year

Point: (Kenny Phillips) I still think Phillips is going to be great, but like most rookies, he disappeared as the games got into double digits. I’ll chalk this up to stamina and expect him to make an appearance on the 2009 Pro Bowl roster. Or at least become a starter in the G-Men defensive backfield. I guess I’ll go with Mayo because I can barely name another defensive rookie besides Chris Long. And Vernon Gholston.
Counterpoint: (O.J. Mayo) O.J Mayo? Uh wrong sport there. Jerod Mayo. The Patriots Defense was hurting for a young stud ILB in the worst way. Despite it being a really weak year for defense players, Mayo was like 7th in the league in tackles and provided the Cheats a fine addition for their defense for the next 10 years. Runner up would be Falcons MLB, Curtis Lofton
Final Word: (Mayo) Mayo wins, barely beating out Kevin Love in proving that I know amazingly little about NFL rookies.

Coach of the Half Year

Point: (Jeff Fisher) You could make a compelling argument for the Patriots, given that they lost Brady and Roidney Harrison and still went 11-5 in their drive to feed Matt Cassel’s kids in ’09. But might as well give it to Tony Sporano the man with a typo of a last name who managed to go from 1-15 to 11-5. Yeah, it was against a fairly cupcake schedule, but a 10 win difference is a 10 win difference. Also, I’m pretty sure I saw Chad Pennington act like he can throw a competent deep ball. Props to the coaching staff for that.
Counterpoint: Sure give it Sporano but can we not cue Journey.
Final Word: (Fisher) Mmm, onion rings!

GM of the Half Year

Point: (Jerry Reese) Ok, I’ll go with Dimitroff. Something to be said for getting your franchise QB, RB, and a solid defense after one season. Also, it’s easy to forget the abortion of a franchise that Atlanta had a year ago between Vick and the Petrino defection.
Counterpoint: (Thomas Dimitroff) I’ll still stay with Dimitroff. In one off season he single handedly wiped the slate clean but removing the Ron Mexico/Bobby Petrino tarnish added a candidate for coach of the year and franchise caliber running back, qb, and LT. Add to that a solid rookie MLB and it’s going to be very tough for him to duplicate this effort this next off-season.
Final Word: (Dimitroff) No argument here.

Disappointing Player of the Year

Point: (Tomlinson) Brett Favre would be a contender for this award if he didn’t put forth the type of season that everyone expected. Tomlinson could probably win this award, especially if we’re including his annual Hannukah injury. But I’m going to go with Plaxico Burress who with one loosening of the sweatpants lost control of his gun and will quote possibly never play in the NFL again. Imagine how screwed he’d be if he actually harmed an innocent party?
Counterpoint: (Derek Anderson) Thomlinson was hurt and I think he’ll be back to normal next year. My pick: Braylon Edwards who had a breakout season in 2007 catching 80 passes for 1,289 yards and 16 receiving touchdowns. Despite starting all 16 games, he had just 55 catches for 873 yards and three touchdowns. Edwards had less than 50 yards receiving in nine out of his 16 games. That doesn’t even take into account all the drops he had. Edwards led the NFL with 16 dropped passes. Only two other players even made double digits. He had this to say earlier in the season, "I'm just to the point now that I'm playing football and I could care less about the fans and the media," Edwards said. "People are talking about trading me and the B-S that's going on with our team, and this season. I've got a job to do and my job is to catch the football." [Insert fail joke here]
Final Word: (Tomlinson) Plaxico Burress ruined the Giants season. Sure, it created a fantastic youtube as seen a few articles down, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Giants became an average team without him.

Disappointing Team:

Point: (Dallas) This is what I wrote at midseason:
Is there any doubt about this? Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Next issue.
And how can you say anyone else after their last two games against Baltimore and Philly?
Counterpoint: Dallas especially how they just imploded in December and after giving an arm and a leg for Roy Williams who performed as admirably as the French in WW2.
Final Word: (Dallas) Beautiful. Dallas it is.

Surprising Team:

Point: (Titans) You could make a very good argument for the Titans to retain this title, but I’m going with the Patriots. As mentioned above, they lost Brady, Roidney Harrison, and about 35 running backs, but still managed to be 11-5. More importantly, there’s a good chance that we’re talking about them in the Super Bowl this year. And if that’s not true, then they still would’ve won a game or two with Cassel.
Counterpoint: (Falcons) A 10 win turnaround is still a 10 win turnaround. Dolphins it is.
Final Word:
(Titans/Falcons) I’m going with the Patriots here. The Dolphins will be 7-9 or 8-8 next year. No team should be able to lose as many key players as the Pats and still succeed.

SUS NFL Season in Review, Part I

Wondering where the NHL All Star Game recap is? No you’re not, stop lying. Sorry kids, but the SUS NFL Awards section is about as close as you’re going to get to any sort of weekend recap. Although these awards are being shown with only the Super Bowl (AND PRO BOWL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) left to play, we’re making our predictions as if they were made the day after Week 17 ended. On the plus side, you get to see how wrong we were with our midseason predictions, listed in parentheses.

Offensive MVP (AFC)

Point: (Jay Cutler) Yeah, I don’t think the Diabetic One gets this. There are really only two choices for this award, right? You could probably make a case for Phil Rivers or Chris Johnson, but it still comes down to Pennington or Manning. If it’s Pennington or Manning, the next question is this: are the Dolphins and the Ronnie/Ricky combo better than the Colts and their D? And how un-hetero of a name is “The Ronnie/Ricky combo”? Eh, forget those questions, I’m going Peyton because a) Miami had a cupcake schedule and b) Indy had a first place schedule and they still managed to win their last 9. More importantly, by losing in the first week of the playoffs, Peyton’s arm is nice and rested as his quest for his second Pro Bowl MVP award. You can do it Peyton!
Counterpoint: (Thomas Jones) Whoa. Thomas Jones? I WAS WAY OFF although no fault of Jones. At the time of this article, the Jets were on a tear but well Brett Favre had other ideas. Yep, it goes to Peyton by default at this stage but I think Colts fans wished for a little more during the playoffs. HA! Peyton still led his team to a 9 game winning to get into the playoffs. Cutler might have won it had it been for his teams horrendous choke in December.
Final Word: (Cutler) Peyton adds another trophy to a case that has one more Super Bowl MVP trophy than he deserves.

Offensive MVP (NFC)

Point: (Portis) The pride of Eastern Motors commercials hangs his head in shame after the Redskins limp to an 8-8 record. Great arguments can be made for Michael Turner and Larry Fitzgerald, but I’m going with Steve Smith. Yes, the Panthers have the best running game south of New Jersey, but Steve Smith still managed to have a great finish to his season. Teams knew what was coming and they were still powerless to stop him. And with the Panthers, it’s not like opposing defenses had to worry about a tight end or even a second wide receiver. Mushin Muhamad was solid about 7 years ago. Now? He’s as much of a #2 wide receiver as Amani Toomer.
Counterpoint: (Turner). I don’t even remember the regular season. Wasn’t that like 2 months ago? There was a point in time I would have argued for Eli but then Plaxico happened and Domenik Hixon did not. I’ll stick with Turner still because NFW the Falcons do anything without him allowing Roddy White and Matt Ryan to get some free shots down the field. With Smith, towards the end of the season, I’d say DeAngelo Williams became the focal point of that team.
Final Word: (Turner) Eh, ok, let’s go Turner, if only to make it look like our midseason prediction was accurate.

Defensive MVP (AFC)

Point: (Haynesworth) Nothing against the Cleating One, or the actual Defensive MVP, James Harrison, but I’m going Troy Polamalu. Why? Because if he’s playing deep against a post pattern, I still have complete faith in him to come in and somehow break up a screen pass. After facing Polamalu, quarterbacks have to go through some sort of NFL version of PTSD, right? They’ll be asleep and start dreaming about a throw they made during the game. And all around them, covering every receiver as well as chasing him out of the pocket, is Troy Polamalu. Oh, and props to Vernon Gholston, possibly the only Jet not responsible for their collapse.
Counterpoint: (Haynesworth) Haynesworth was playing at a high level all season but slowed down due to injury before eventually taking a rest during the last two weeks of the season. Because of that I’ll still say James Harrison and here’s why: 101 tackles, 16 sacks, 7 forced fumbles, 1 int and 3 passes defended. Single handly helped the Steelers beat the Chargers, Patriots, Ravens 1, and Dallas. Add to that he doesn’t rush nearly as much as DWare. Ed Reed would have won it if he played in September/October but winning the defense player of the year only happens when you play the whole season.
Final Word: (Haynesworth) Stats are well and good, but I’m going with Polamalu. What can I say, the man scares me.

Defensive MVP (NFC)

Point: (Tuck) I want to go for Tuck, who was nowhere near 100% during his final few games of the season, but this award has to go to Demarcus Ware, possibly the only Cowboy without issues in their locker room. He nearly set the sack record this year and destroyed the as-good-as-advertised Giants O-Line.
Counterpoint: Ok Ware it is. Seriously, nobody else deserved it.
Final Word: (Tuck) Ware. And props to him for showing society that there is no such thing as an issue-free Cowboy, as he now wants a contract extension.