Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Yinzer's Super Bowl Thoughts

Just like everyone else, especially in the sports world, the Super Bowl has become the #1 sports focus of Yinzer’s life; which is made substantially easier by the Pens not even attempting to be a good team this year and pissing him off to no end. So I am here to bestow upon you my thoughts going into the Super Bowl.

I’ve decided to break this into two sections: one based on the actual literal translation of the word “thoughts,” and the other based on the Yinzer’s translation of “thoughts” which means “all the storylines that are pissing me off because I’m an irritable bastard”

Yinzer’s Thoughts

It’s not going to be an easy game one way or the other
Some people are saying the Steelers can’t stop Larry Fitzgerald or those other guys who are on Arizona’s offense. Some say the Cardinals have no hope of cracking the Steelers defense. There are calls for blowouts on both sides. What doesn’t seem to be acknowledged much is that both team’s weaknesses through the year. The Cardinal’s defense and the Steelers offensive line, have been playing good during the playoffs. In other words, what real weak points both teams had aren’t really weak points right now, throwing things up in the air.

No Curse was lifted/demons exorcised at the AFC Championship Game
Media keeps saying this about the Steelers, as if the AFCC was somehow an impenetrable barrier to the team, especially on home field, and that they finally won “exorcised the demons.” Well I got news for you: it wasn’t some curse or bad luck or anything. But in a way it was a demon that kept them from reaching the Super Bowl by losing four championship games. And it just so happens I have a picture of said demon right here:

Mike Tomlin Rules
I’m not ready to say he’s a great coach or anything of that sort. He rules because of things like in this picture:

What you see is Tomlin not looking happy. What you don't see is that he is actually holding the AFC title trophy. Have you ever seen someone so dissatisfied and borderline angry with winning such a big game? The man knows it means shit and he’s not going to be happy until it’s the Lombardi Trophy there. But that’s what you expect of Tomlin. What else would you of a guy who wears a puffy coat for sheer aesthetics, leaving it open during a -10 degree windy day just so he can tell winter “fuck you!”

Seen here: Tomlin mocking grandpa winter

Yes, I’m just as surprised as everyone else the Cardinals are here
I mean really, who the hell expected the Cardinals? I can’t say anything that hasn’t been said already, but you do have to give them props. And I’m also kind of glad; should the Steelers lose I don’t utterly despise this team like I do say the Ravens for Eagles (they are from Philly, hence automatic douchebags).

John Madden is announcing the game
Ugh. Not only does he hate the Steelers, but he is just so obvious it’s ridiculous. How he can even be considered to be put on tv or radio anymore boggles my mind. How many more times do we have to hear insightful comments like “you have to score to win games” ??? Seriously, just give the man a ham and keep him away from the booth.

"Get in my belly!"

Yinzer’s “Thoughts”

I’m Sick of the “No Respect” bullshit

Yes Cardinals, we get it, you think no one respects you because you had no chance of going to the Super Bowl. You’ll have to forgive them for thinking that though since you are, well the Arizona Fucking Cardinals! You’ve been pitiful nearly you’re entire existence, and before this year there were a lot of teams that had more Super Bowl wins than you have playoff wins. You had become a symbol of futility surpassed only by the Millen managed Detroit Lions. So no one gave you respect, and you’re losing what respect you’ve gained by bringing it up every freaking chance you get.

By the way, you know who also did the whole “no respect” thing? The Patriots. So congrats, you’re acting like the most despicable team in the NFL. That’s not normally a good way to earn others respect. Maybe Whizenhunt should steal the clothes off a dead bum like Bill Belichick to give it more effect?

Screw the “we’re the underdog” crap
I so wanted the Steelers to come out building up the Cardinals to be a great team and saying how little they proved, how they had no chance with a shitty o-line and a legally retarded offensive coordinator. Just bash themselves so it makes the point utterly worthless. This ties into the no respect thing. Get over it and yourselves.

Whizenhunt’s knowledge of the Steelers Defense gives him the edge.
All the media keeps going on about how the Whiz’s practicing against Lebeau is such an advantage, yet most either ignore or blow off the fact that Lebeau knows Whiz’s offense! They point to his trick plays and teaching Ben what he knows, yet give no credit to Lebeau for being a highly adaptive coordinator who comes up with many unreadable schemes. How you give credit to one and not the other is beyond me. It’s a freakin wash. Period.

Anything About Kurt Warner
Yes, he’s old. Yes, he’s been to the Super Bowl twice. Yes, he’s a Jesus freak. Yes, his wife looked like a man for years. I’ve never had anything against Warner, but I’m getting sick of hearing about him and everything he has, is or will do already.

Obama is a Steeler fan
People really think this. It had nothing to do with Obama trying to get votes from the city, especially making buddy buddy with Dan Rooney, whose puppet strings to make people believe he is still alive are becoming more and more visible. And Rooney wouldn’t support him because he can be friends with the president of the free world would he? I mean, who the hell want the US President as their buddy? No favors could come from that could it? For those that actually think this friendship and Obama’s team loyalty is real: get over it idiots. Obama doesn’t give a crap about the Steelers and you’re stupid for believing the hype. "Here we go votes... er, Steelers! Yeah, here we go votes! Shit, I did it again!"

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