Friday, February 6, 2009

What Really Grinds My Gears

Yea my picture has a dog in it. I love dogs. Got a freakin problem with that??

(1) I am not even a Mets fan but the Mets not even talking to Manny is so idiotic it borders on insanity- This is becoming so absurd it is now comical; that is unless you are a Mets fan. Fuck that, I’m upset about it even as a Yankee fan! I just can’t understand why the Mets won’t even talk to Manny. It’s pretty simple, if the Mets get Manny they become the best team in the National League hands down. Manny almost took LA to the World Series with a significantly less talented roster. The Mets always seem to pick the wrong player and the wrong time to Penny pinch (see Guerrero 04).

(2) Dream week becoming a nightmare- Ugh; the Laker game really and truly does not bother me. The Lakers just went into Boston and ended the champs 12 game streak. This LA team might beat Boston in this year’s finals. The Knicks are supposed to get blown out in that game. However, the loss to Cleveland Wednesday night was an absolute heartbreaker as far as regular season games go. Down only 2 with about 1:10 left, Al Harrington misses a wide open 3, this after already compiling 39 points and shooting almost flawlessly throughout the balance of the contest to that point. Then, down 4 with 40 seconds to go, he misses another wide open 3 that would have made the game a virtual deadlock. Say what you will about not doubling Lebron and letting him score 50, if Al makes those two clean looks, the Knicks would have already guaranteed the 1 win it needed during “Hell week.” That said, I am eerily optimistic going into tonight’s contest, which I am attending with White Girl, due to Boston being fatigued and/or lacking in motivation after a brutal overtime loss to the 2009 NBA champs, there I said it.

(3) Stop with the 04 Jeter Sox July play canonizing!- Okay, Donny “Pucks” Lagreca nailed it a few minutes ago on 1050. He said, “When that guy said that the 2004 Jeter catch against Boston made him go from an icon to a legend, I nearly threw up in my mouth.” I love Derek but that was one of the most overrated plays in sports history. It won a regular season game and Jeter didn’t dive into the stands. On this play, Derek made a running catch and because he was charging so hard his momentum carried him into the first row of seats forcing him to leave the game with bad facial cuts. That is actually what happened (watch the replay people!). Donnie was right that the only thing any Yankee fan thinks about when they recall 2004 is that they regret that this year has not yet been expunged from his/her memory.

(4) When Olberman and Maddow are on vacation, they need wayyyyy better replacements- David Shuster?? Ariana Huffington??!! Are you kidding me???!! Ariana Huffington is a fine writer and blogger but she is a horrid speaker and host. Her voice never changes pitch or tone and she struggles putting sentences together orally. However, at least she is good at something unlike David Shuster. This guy is, simply put, really boring. Say what you will about Keith but he’s very entertaining if not easy to make fun of (see very funny SNL skit with Ben Affleck.) WFAN employs the right strategy of moving everybody up a slot when Mike “ I need a co-host because my show sucks ass right now” Francessa goes on one of his much needed vacations. MSNBC, take your cue from WFAN. (Wow I never thought anyone would type that sentence)

(5) Thanks Metallica for Ruining the Superbowl and thanks Super bowl for ruining my only chance to ever see Metallica- I realize that I could have just chosen one of these two options on Sunday night and just enjoyed whichever event I chose to focus on. However, I took the, “I’m going to try and experience both and be bitter that I missed out on key elements of both of them approach”. The guy who comes up with the names is on vacation. Although I now understand how amazing the Prudential center is and it is phenomenal, I couldn’t enjoy the concert that much because I was obsessing about what was going on in the game. Then, after Ben led the Steelers down the field for another impressive game winning drive, I was a bit down the rest of the concert because my one year of bragging rights over Mahatma and Iowa were a thing of the past. By the time I got past this, Metallica was already into its encore of songs from Garage Inc. I have never heard before. Would it have killed you to do a song from “Ride the Lighting” like For whom the Bell Tolls or a classic like “Battery.”?? That said, it was a great freaking Superbowl and I got to see my favorite band live. But would it have been better to see them before Hetfield’s vocal range was cut by 2/3 of its previous size? Sure. Would it have been better if both Zona won and I didn’t miss most of the 4th quarter? Yea.

Bonus neutral comment
- I realized while eating at my favorite Puerto Rican restaurant, “El Molino Rojo”, a place right outside Yankee Stadium that my father and I affectionately refer to as “Cuchi Fritos”, that the first CD to be released by my new band, “The Jerry Jones Experience” (See some post I did in December) will be titled, “Greetings from El Molino Rojo.” I greatly apologize to the late great Jimi Hendrix and the living legend Bruce Springsteen for blatantly ripping you both off.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Reasons for a self-loathing Yankee fan to hate every Yankee

Ok, this guy's not exactly of the self-loathing mold, but look at the tool on his left who gets to sit next to the greatest current NBA baller?

The other day, I did my part to stimulate the economy by trying to spend a $50 MLB gift card. But a funny thing happened-I couldn't find any Yankee stuff worth buying. Basically, each Yankee numbered t-shirt I found, I gave myself a seemingly rational excuse not to show my love for that player. It made me realize two things:

1. I hope this is the year that the NHL postseason lasts until August.
2. I probably hate every player on this Yankee team.

Time to prove #2! First the position guys:

Jorge Posada
-For a guy who was here for the World Series years, find me a big hit he had between '98 and '01. Sure, he had a big hit vs. Boston in '03, but didn't '04 pretty much nullify anything positive from '03?
-So he's coming off of major surgery? Good, I hear most guys who are 37 respond well to surgery in the post-steroids era.
-And the starting Yankee catcher is 37? How many catchers still catch (or hit) effectively at this age?
-So Posada is an old veteran who can still hit well enough that he should be a DH? I wonder if the Yankees have any more of these guys. I bet we'll find out.

Mark Texiera

Fill in the blank: In first baseman ______________ the Yankees are getting a guy who is the best hitter available in the free agency market. Sure, they signed him to a longer deal than normal, but as long as he continues to hit as he has, this shouldn't be a problem, should it? I mean, after all, he's a nice enough guy, who cares if he makes more than the Zimbabwe GDP? What can go wrong?

A: I would have accepted Jason Giambi or Mark Texiera

Robinson Cano
Let's just say that the first pitch of the MLB season is a few months away, and Cano is already trying to swing at it. And this from the most successful Yankee hitting prospect since his double play partner.

Derek Jeter
As a kid who first started following the Yankees around 1993, I always referred to Mattingly as Donnie Backache more than Donnie Baseball. Likewise, there's an 11 year old out there who must be wondering how someone who hits into double plays as much as Derek Jeter is so loved by the hometown faithful. And I'm not saying Jeter is a lousy defensive shortstop, but it was unreal watching light hitting Alberto Gonzalez play the position last year, if only to see how much range an average shortstop actually has.

Too easy. But let's just put the over/under on the number of double plays or strikeouts vs. the Red Sox after the sixth inning next year for A-Rod is 14. And I'm taking the over.

Johnny Damon
In Damon's defense, he's a pretty good leftfielder. But he's also the starting centerfielder. And Damon's a pretty clutch player, but can someone who's not the leadoff hitter please be the most clutch Yankee hitter? And he's going to be hurt at some point next year where he's going to have to DH at certain points. So that's one more guy who is going to be DH-ing along with Posada.

Brett Gardner
Apparently he's the top Yankee prospect. In related news, he's a .228 hitter with a .283 on base percentage. And that's after he had a very good September. He's a very fast player with a solid arm who has a ceiling as a .280 hitter. What, exactly, can this guy do that Melky can't?

Xavier Nady
Eh, I'm ok with this guy. In related news, the Yankees are trying to trade him. Smart.

Hideki Matsui
There was a time when Matsui was a fairly good outfielder. Unfortunately, that time has passed. And if the Yankees want Posada's bat in the lineup for more than 80 games, this guy's going to have to play left field. Everything about his outfield play sucks: how he handles fly balls, his arm, his speed, everything. And we're going to have to see him in the outfield for about 30-40 games if not more. Should've traded him years ago, but the Steinbrenners need that Japanese money. 3rd guy, along with Damon and Posada who's going to need significant time at DH if the Yanks want to see his bat.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Signing Day Nets WVU the Next Pat White

Our mascot rules because he wears a dead animal as a hat and shoots a gun when we score. He is A MAN!!!

Eugene Smith of Miramar, FL, the #3 rated QB in this years senior class is locked in to attend West Virginia University, ensuring another 4 years of dominance over The University of New Jersey.

Also among the haul are 3 four-star WRs, including Smiths favorite target at Miramar, an elite DE prospect from Phoenix and a RB from Baltimore(you know hes been running away from aggressive drug dealers and bad influences like Ricky Baker, so hes fast). All in all, a great group to coach up into West Virginia's first National Champion. As the winningest D-1 football program without a title, its about damn time. Lets Go--Mountaineers!!!

Stop me if you've heard this before...

-A-Rod is insanely insecure about himself, is jealous of Jeter, and cares more about stats than the team.
-David Wells chose to be an asshole.
-Kevin Brown was an asshole by birth.
-Randy Johnson was too old and didn't handle the media well.
-Carl Pavano has no friends.
-Doug Mientkiewicz and Josh Phelps aren't as feared by opposing pitchers as Bernie Williams.
-Brian Cashman has made some awful pitching acquisitions since '03.
-Some of the Yankee front office in Tampa are assholes who don't know what they're doing.

Did people not already know this just by following the Yankees for the last 8 years? I'm waiting for Torre's scandalous tell-all from his Dodger years, Manny Ramirez is not a Normal Person.

Odds for Superbowl XLIV

New England Patriots
Dallas Cowboys 9/1
New York Giants 10/1
Pittsburgh Steelers 10/1
Indianapolis Colts 12/1
San Diego Chargers 12/1
Baltimore Ravens 14/1
Tennessee Titans 16/1
Carolina Panthers 18/1
Philadelphia Eagles 18/1
New Orleans Saints 20/1
Atlanta Falcons 25/1
Denver Broncos 25/1
Green Bay Packers 25/1
Jacksonville Jaguars 25/1
Minnesota Vikings 25/1
New York Jets 25/1
Arizona Cardinals 30/1
Chicago Bears 30/1
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 30/1
Buffalo Bills 35/1
Houston Texans 35/1
Miami Dolphins 35/1
Washington Redskins 35/1
Seattle Seahawks 50/1
Cleveland Browns 55/1
Cincinnati Bengals 60/1
San Francisco 49ers 60/1
Oakland Raiders 75/1
St. Louis Rams 75/1
Detroit Lions 100/1
Kansas City Chiefs 100/1

Good to know Tom Brady's injury is progressing better than scheduled and the Pats in a mere month have already fixed their terrible secondary. Also good to know that the Cowboys are well on their way to getting into the playoffs after getting embarrassed in December. Boy, so much can change in a month.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Sports Figures We Wouldn't Wish On Our Worst Enemies

Being sports fans we all have to deal with our teams employing a player, coach, or GM that constantly infuriate us. But every once in a while we get a person that transcends mere infuriation. It turns into pure unadulterated hate, so much so that we wouldn’t even wish this person onto our most hated rivals. We would actually rather have this person out of the league so we never have to lay eyes upon their wretched hides than have them go to even our most hated teams and ruin them. And let me tell you, us here at SUS are very bitter and vengeful, so this says a lot.

Click here to see who Mahatma wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.
Click here to see who Yinzer wouldn't wish on his worst enemy.

Will Allen

White Boy had a theory that held up for most of Allen’s time in blue. Every pass that Allen should pick off would be batted down. Every pass that Allen should bat down would be caught. This theory held up nicely until Allen’s last year here, when Allen would nearly pick off a pass, the ball would go through his hands, and the opposing wr would catch the ball. So it would go from a pick to a completion. Oh, and have I mentioned that Allen, during most of this time, was our #1 cornerback?

(But the worst part? Allen was tantalizingly FANTASTIC in Madden. I remember one season I had with him where he had 7 interceptions for 7 touchdowns. In the early ‘00’s, I would get him up to a 99 rating in 2 seasons, max. Oh, the pain!)

Steve Thomas

For a scorer, Thomas sure had a tendency to miss the net. And by missing the net I mean taking a shot from the slot and having the puck go into the stands. And oh-by-the-way, this is the guy the Devils got in a trade for Conn Smythe winner Claude Lemieux after the ’95 season. When Pepe was traded, it was one of three times in which I full-out cried over a sporting event. And bringing in Steve Thomas to apparently give out pucks to the Devil faithful wasn’t the best way to replace Lemieux. Fuck this, I actually would love to see the Rangers offer this guy a 5 year $10 million contract.

Kelly Stinnett

Look, I’m ok with backup catchers sucking. But if a backup catcher is going to suck he has to at least be either a) young so there’s at least hope for improvement, no matter how false said hope turns out to be (see: Nieves, Wil) or b) a veteran who has had some good years who can impart some veteran wisdom on the current catcher. Stinnett was the worst of both worlds-he was an old backup catcher who never truly had a prime. Unless he’s going to experience his best season at the age of 40, having a 35 year old backup catcher who is yet to experience his ‘prime’ is just a waste of a roster spot. Somewhere out there, Wil Nieves has kids to feed.

Jimmy of Playmakers fame

Now before you start scouring IMDB for a show named Playmakers, stop. The Playmakers was the intramural football team that Mahatma, BH and I were on for roughly three years in college. Well ok, Mahatma and BH were only around for two years due to a torn acl and sabbatical, respectively. Our team was solid, putting forth a Warren Moon-Houston Oilers type run of getting into the playoffs but never being able to get over the hump. Man, those championship t-shirts would’ve been sweet.

But this isn’t about us, it’s about our wide receiver Jimmy. Jimmy was a Plax-like 6’4 but a Shawn Bradley-esque 120 lbs. But he was fast. Due to his speed, he would inevitably get open. And even if he wasn’t open, he was still tall enough to catch a jump ball over the cornerbacks. How did we know that he was always open? HE TOLD US EVERY F*$KIN TIME HE CAME BACK TO THE HUDDLE. So inevitably the quarterback would throw it to him, hit him in stride, Jimmy would get his hands on the ball…and he’d drop it. And then when the quarterback looked the other way the next throw? Hey guys, I’m open! And the QB would throw it his way, it would get dropped, and this cycle would repeat itself over and over again. Professional or not, I still wouldn’t wish Jimmy on my worst enemy.

Who Knew?

That a game featuring the ARIZONA CARDINALS was the highest watched superbowl of all time!

Nielsen said 98.7 million people, on average, were watching Pittsburgh’s exciting 27-23 victory Sunday night. That beats the 97.5 million who watched the 2008 game, which held the record for most popular Super Bowl.

On Monday, Nielsen had reported that this year’s game had 95.4 million viewers—impressive, but not a record-setter.

Granted this was an epic game compared to many of the 42 other blowouts the superbowl has seen. It's still interesting to see all those people who said last year's game was a better story (and it was) with better teams (probably also true) but still lost the ratings battle. For the record, it is strange to me. The storylines for this one weren't as good as last year nor were the teams. So why did more people tune in? Maybe it was for the commercials or the wonderful insights of John Madden, or maybe it was a damn good game. Maybe it was less people going to the bar or maybe some people didn't have concerts to attend. Whatever the reason may be, the unwashed masses turned out to see it. This totally gives CBS, next year, the option to charge 4 million dollars per ad spot and shove Jim Nantz down our throats. Can't wait!

Still though, isn't it weird to know that a superbowl featuring a unsexy Steeler team and a Cardinal team that didn't look like they belong is now the most watched Superbowl of all time?

Hate the Steelers?

Than follow this handy chart for how you can argue with Steeler fans. The photo was thiefed from here but was too good to not post.