Saturday, January 26, 2008

Top X moments in Giants history since Superbowl XXV part II

5) 2000 season (2001 calender year) Divisional round playoff game. Giants defeat Eagles 20-10. I remember this game as the end of a glorious run of completely dominating the Eagles. Jason Sehorn provided the game's most electrifying play by returning the most unconventional of interceptions into a touchdown for Big Blue. The ball was flat on his back, he gets up and the ball flings into the air and he snatches it. Then he returns the pick for 6 and the Giants are on their way to another dominant defensive performance.

4) 1993 season (1994 calender year) Wild card Playoff Giants defeat Vikings 17-10. I admit I don't remember anything about this game itself. I'm pretty sure it was both LT's and Simm's last home game as members of the Giants. It was however, definitely my first Giant's game. White Boy Senior never forgave the Giants for moving to the swamplands of Jersey and away from Yankee stadium. Therefore, It was not until he went with my Grandfather and I to this game that his Giant's fandom was rekindled. So this game marked the birth of my Giant's fandom and the rebirth of my dad's Giant's fandom. Just don't call my dad a "born again" we are pretty liberal.

3) 2007 season (2008 calender year) Divisional Playoff Giants defeat Cowboys 21-17. I thank God everyday that I DVR'ed this game. Seeing TO walk off the field and then cry in a post game news conference was something I did not even dream about let alone hope for. This game also shed from the Strahan Giants the label of big game chokers. Up only 4 in Dallas against a very potent offense, Steve Spagnuolo's crew clamped down and did not allow a single yard after the Boys had advanced the ball to the New York 22, 1st and 10 with 30 seconds to go in the contest. BIG described my reaction to the game's final play, the R.W. Mcquarter's interception on 4th and 11, as "creaming himself" to a hot female friend of his. That was funny if not weird.

2) 2000 season (2001 calender year) Conference Championship game.Giants defeat Vikings 41-0. Whenever you say 41-0 to a fellow Giant's fan, we/they all know what game this is referring to. I'll never forget purchasing an NFC champions hat at halftime of this game. I'll also never forget that the Giants took a 14-0 lead on the Vikings before Daunte, Carter and Moss even got to run a single play from scrimmage. The Vikings wanted no part of the Meadowlands on this day and for good reason. Oh yea and this game was why I will always love Kerry Collins. He played the best game I have seen a Giant's quarterback play in leading his offense to 41 points and a near perfect quarterback rating.

1) 2007 season (2008 calender year) Conference Championship game. Giants defeat Packers 23-20 in overtime. Wow. This has to be my most intense sports fan experience ever. This game featured 4 lead changes, several dramatic and meaningful penalties, terrible mishaps by both teams, and the perfect setting for sports drama; Lambeau field. However, I had a weird but good feeling come over me watching Eli warm up before the game. He looked calm and confident. His play would reveal that he indeed was both. I think, outside of the bizarre and record breaking performance of Lawrence Tynes, I will remember this game most for how Eli seemed completely undeterred by the elements yet Farve seemed completely unable to cope with them. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried after the overtime field goal went in, in the words of Bill Cowher "that was a ........................ special moment."

Packer Radio Guy Rules

These quotes about the Giants come by way of Inside the NFL's highlight package of the NFC title game. It figures that the best quotes about the Giants came from an opposing team's radio booth.

1) "Al Harris must be freezing because he has been undressed by Burress all game."

2) "Playing against the New York Giants in these playoffs is like going to the dentist for a tooth pulling without Novocaine."

Damn Straight!!

As Fred Durst once said: "Plax, shut the fuck up."

Where most of the SUS staff is comprised of Giants and Steeler fans, one of the few things that we can all agree on is our love of Plaxico Burress. (One major disagreement: Tommy Maddox circa 2k1.) No player has played through more this year and showed their true value to the team than him. But Plax, please don't give the Patriots any bulletin board material.

More things to do this weekend; (The Help-Yourself-Or-At-Least-Help-Me Edition)

8. Take a walk, you obese piece of shit. America is a fat country. And spending your weekends in your carefully sculpted sofa assgroove aint getting us any skinnier.

9. Watch MSNBC or read a newspaper, you stupid, ignorant piece of shit. Americans are not only fat, we’re stupid and have no idea what’s going on in the world. And making sure the Giants cover their 5.5 point spread every Sunday aint exactly helping our collective intellect.

10. Get a girlfriend, you fat, stupid piece of shit. To continue the trend, let’s just say that your knowledge of how Eli fares in cold weather doesn’t exactly help you get laid. Trust me. Take this time to go about town, and use your wit to pick up some lady friends. And if that fails, call a hooker.

11. Clean my house/Run my errands/Do my laundry. Ok, enough about helping you. Watching the Giants advance to the Super Bowl hasn’t exactly helped me keep maintenance of all my personal chores. And that aint about to change now, I have College Bball and Hockey to watch! So come on over, hook a brother up

12. Get me a job for next year. Please.

54,305. Watch some pregame hype. Seriously, this is the last thing you should be doing.

Friday, January 25, 2008

NFL Regular Season Awards (Part 3, I promise we're done) Devo v. Mahatma who ya got?

Coach of the Year
Devo: (Bill Belichek) Leading a team to a dominant 8-0 is one thing. That’s been done before. 16-0, that’s only been done once before. It has to be Belichek. Hey Mercury Morris, they’re in your house and I think they just killed your dog.
Mahatma: (Mike McCarthy) Once Mr. Spy Camera was involved, I’d say let’s go with LEGIT coaches. Wah, Belichek’s team is undefeated but still. He cheated and cost his team a draft choice against the f’n Jets. THE JETS PEOPLE. It’s the same crap last year when Shawn “Look Ma, no roids” Merriman was in contention for Defensive player of the year despite cheating. Not to mention, Belichek’s coaching speaks for itself. Even the brain trust at ESPN favored the Patriots to win the Superbowl at the beginning of the season. McCarthy took a band of losers, castoffs and draft picks and got them way closer than anyone imagined.
Final Word: (McCarthy) Either Pioli or Belichek has to get an award. Let’s give it to Belichek. I know we’re supposed to pick this based on the regular season, but that Giants game is still too fresh in my mind. (Noone said we were an unbiased source.)
GM of the Year
Devo: (Scott Pioli) Under the “No team can have the Coach of the Year and GM of the year” rule that I’m currently instituting, I’m going to go away from Pioli, even if he deserves it. I’ve said in an earlier column how all of the Giants’ draft picks are contributing to the team. Ross, Steve Smith, Kevin Boss, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Michael Johnson are all key contributors to this team, with the other draft picks also seeing action. Kawika Mitchell has turned into a more than steady contributor to the front 7, and Luke Petitgout is out for the season, Lavar Arrington’s season is over, and I have no idea if Carlos Emmons is even alive. Jerry Reese, my bad, I was wrong. You get the GM of the Year. Or at least, Rookie GM of the Year.
Mahatma: (Phil Savage) You know I have no beef with giving the award to Reese either but this is in reference to the regular season right? At the end of that, Smith, Bradshaw, etc. were not seen as the key contributors they were now. As a result, you still have to give it to Pioli.
Final Word: (Pioli) Jerry Reese, I was wrong. You did a helluva job with this Giants team, got them in position to hit up the Super Bowl, and for that, you should be applauded. Oh, and after the Patriots game, Ross, Smith, Boss, Bradshaw, and Johnson had all contributed to the team in fairly substantial ways.
Disappointing Player of the Year
Devo: (Shaun Alexander) Earlier this year I wrote that Shaun Alexander is no better than Derrick Ward. I was wrong. Shaun Alexander is waaayyyy worse than Derrick Ward. As one of the remaining Giant fans who are cool with Tiki, I can’t help but feel that Alexander should be forced to give his rushing titles and MVP awards to Tiki.
Mahatma: (Joey Porter) See okay, Alexander was banged up and sucked ass last year too. Not to mention the fact that the man is in his 30s now and the shelf life for running backs usually end when you are about 30. So I don’t know if he was truly as highly rated going into the season to begin with. My pick because I love kicking a man when he’s down: Carson “3rd best QB in Football” Palmer. Rosy was supposed to lead that great Bung attack to unprecedented heights and into the playoffs. What Cressly provided was only 26 tds and 20 INTS. Not to mention, Palmer continues to solidify himself as the anti-clutch vacuum. Palmer showed a lack of accuracy all over the field consistently missing Doucheman, Chode and Piss Henry, none of whom are midget receivers.
Final Word: (Alexander) Good points with Carson. But because Alexander is such a fraud, let’s make them Straight Up Sports co-Disappointing Players of the Year.
Disappointing Team of the Year
Devo: (Philly) With many runners-up for this award (looking your way, Miami, San Francisco) I have to give this award to the Lions. They started out playing so well, and then, as one of many teams to disrespect the Giants, (looking your way, Wade Phillips) they managed to go 1-7 in the final 8 games. Matt Millen went from being hailed as a Danny Ainge-esque GM who needed a few years to reach his goals, to uh, being the same Matt Millen that we all came to know and love.
Mahatma: (San Diego) For the record, I did think they would turn it around also but the Charg did suck ass the first half of the year. For most disappointing team of the year, is there any question that it is the Baltimore Ratbirds? At the midpoint of the season, they were 4-4 and still had some hopes of a wildcard. The great coaching of Brian BiLLLLLLLLLLLick led the Rats to an outstanding 1-7 record the last half of the season.
Final Word: (San Diego) Yeah, you’re right. The Lions sucked this year, but the Ravens completely embarrassed themselves. In more ways than one, the inmates ran the prison. After the New England game this team became even more of a joke than they were previously. On a team with Kyle Boller, that’s saying something.

Top X Giants Moments Since Super Bowl XXV Part I

10) Week 16 2007 Giants defeat Bills 38-21- Okay, this is partly on the list because I braved the elements and made the flight up to Buffalo with the BIG (a Bills fan who still wears his Takeo Spikes jersey). However, this game has been a microcosm of this great season for the G-men. Trailing 14-0 in the first quarter causing BIG to boast of the AFC's supremacy, Big Blue went on an impressive 38-7 run to close out the game. This will also forever be remembered as the Amhad Bradshaw game. Bradshaw broke a game ending 88 yard touch down run in the snow to give the Giants a commanding 10 point lead with only 6 minutes to go. Oh yea, it also clinched a playoff spot for our club.

9) Week 3 2007 Giants defeat Redskins 24-17- Ask the great Devo about his escapades on this day. Although to be fair, he may not remember them. Anyway, as funny as it was to see Devo act a foo, it was even more enjoyable to see our Giants change the course of their now NFC champion season by destroying the Skins in the second half 21-0. This game also featured the defining defensive stand of the regular season. After Skins QB Jason Campbell threw what seemed to be a devastating 3rd and long first down completion to the 2 yard line, the Giants held firm and stopped them on 4 straight rushing attempts. Nice play calling Gibbs. At least he didn't get a personal foul called against him this time.

8) Week 17 2002 Giants defeat Eagles 10-7 in overtime- What a bizarre and at times frustrating game. Tiki Barber amassed over 200 yards on the ground but lost 3 fumbles. The game changing play was a phenomenal leaping catch by then rookie standout Jeremy Shockey over the dirty and hated Brian Dawkins. He proceeded to spike the ball right next to Dawkins as perhaps some retribution for Dawkins dirty personal foul on Ike Hilliard earlier in the season. Yea B Dawk I have a very long memory. Then, David Akers began his horrid run of missed meadowlands field goals by shanking a 45 yarder;This caused a partisan Giants crowd at a Puerto Rico Hotel casino to erupt in jubilation. Matt Bryant made a short field goal to win it in OT and clinch a spot in the upcoming playoffs.

7) Week 7 2005 Giants Defeat Broncos 24-23- This game will be remembered as the Eli Manning Bar Mitzvah. Okay, maybe it will only be remembered that way by Devo and I. Either way, Eli led a torrid 4th quarter comeback leading his team from 13 down to record consecutive touchdowns vs a staunch Denver defense. Eli was incredibly accurate and showed great poise in this 4th quarter rally. Although his play has been largely up and down since, this game gave us hope that Eli was the real deal. Now 2.5 years later, we might finally be seeing Eli become an elite NFL quarterback .

6) Week 2 2006 Giants Defeat Eagles 30-24 in overtime at the Linc- By far my favorite regular season Giants game of all time. Trailing the hated Eagles 24-7 late in the third quarter. This game was a lost cause. It was becoming all too common to lose the Eagles when they were at full strength. In fact, before this game, the last time the Giants defeated a Donovan McNabb Eagles team was the divisional playoff game in the 2000 season (more on that game in part II). However, Eli led his most impressive comeback effort to date in the remaining 17 minutes or so of the game and overtime. He threw 3 touchdown passes including a jump ball to Plaxico just shy of the Goal-line in overtime. From there, the 6"6 Burress stiff armed little Sheldon Brown out of the way and waltzed into the end zone. I still get chills thinking of that game. The best part though was seeing Plax take his helmet off and taunt the cheesteak nation who no doubt spewed either racist barbs, personal insults or both to Plaxico throughout the game. Good for you Plax.

Ridiculous Religious Group of the Week:

Church plans to protest Ledger’s memorial
Actor’s role in ‘Brokeback’ calls ‘God a liar,’ radical group claims

The radical Baptist church known for picketing the funerals of American soldiers who lost their lives in Iraq has announced that they intend to protest Heath Ledger’s stateside memorial service because he played a gay character in “Brokeback Mountain.”

You cannot live in defiance of God. He (Ledger) got on that big screen with a big, fat message: God is a liar and it's OK to be gay,” said Shirley Phelps in a statement sent out by the Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Baptist Church.

Seriously, this might be the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

The Atlantic Division

The Atlantic division in hockey is quite possibly the greatest division in hockey. And this is not just because how good each team is. No, one of its greatest assets is that every team hates each other to some extent. Even the teams that aren’t considered rivals still have a distaste for one another. And with this distaste comes perceptions of the other teams portrayed by the fans, so you might wonder “what does the rival team really think of us?” This is what I think it would be like.

New Jersey Devils

[snore] Oh, sorry, I fell asleep again, but that’s the Devils for you. So boring is this team they are now the leading prescription sleeping aid given out in the New York/ New Jersey Area. After killing hockey in the 90’s with their defensive style, they continue to try and undo all the offense the post lockout rules have created, and are succeeding. This will be the case while Lou Lamoriello, the Devil himself (not to mention a douchebag that fires a coach that won you the division a few games before the playoffs), is the GM of the team. Damn this team! Damn them to hell!

Oh, and way to fill you’re your brand spankin’ new arena jagoffs. You have the most kick ass scoreboard and all it ever shows are empty red seats.

New York Islanders

Hello, hello, hello. Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Is there anyone home? [silence ensues] Guess not. Ownership and Mike Milbury have made this franchise the butt end of most hockey jokes and rightfully so. Their old shitty arena hasn’t been filled in years, and no one really seems to care. Milbury traded away supreme talent for nothing, and owner Charles Wang is pulling antics on a regular basis, and even suggested bringing in a sumo wrestler because they are big and can clog up the net. Yet they wonder why no one wants to come to the games…

And because I can: fish sticks.

New York Rangers
They helped ruin the NHL economic landscape with their massive contracts pre-lockout, screwing basically everyone else in the league. Luckily they were idiots in that they gave it to the wrong people. They didn’t learn their lesson from before and handed out massive cap killing deals to Chris Drury and Scott Gomez in the off season. You would think they would take the hint this strategy didn’t work in the past, but alas they do not. But please, keep on doing it, it hasn’t worked yet.

And what the hell is with that fight song? It sounds like a gay owl’s mating call or something.

Philadelphia Flyers
What assholes. These cheap-shotting, dirty pricks are always looking to injure the other team more than they are to score goals. What do you expect when an inspiration to the franchise is Bobby “Sweep the Leg” Clarke? They are refilling their ranks with the likes of Steve “Aim for the Head” Downie, though amazingly traded away Ben “I’ve got Huge Balls When Your Back is Turned” Eager. They’ve injured and received as many suspensions this year than nearly the entire league combined. But hey, this is what the city is known for right? Interesting concept of brotherly love they have.

Pittsburgh Penguins
God damn pansies. They go out there every night skating circles around other teams defense trying to score fancy goals. When they don’t they whine and complain. I’m sick of these guys trying to look cool and never hitting anybody, just running away or spazzing on people. And it’s bad enough we had to deal with them landing Mario Lemieux but now they got Sidney Crosby too. WTF, do they just shit out superstars when they need them? And here’s a helpful hint when it comes to winning: you need defense to do it!

No football this weekend? What can I do?

As you stare at your TV, hoping that your jedi power allows football to appear while your digital cable menu says otherwise, you should know that there are other ways to pass your weekend. In fact, you better start looking for non-football alternatives because preseason NFL games are approximately 30 weeks away. Technically speaking, there are 54,305 things to do this weekend. Here’s a quick list of a few options divided into two parts:

Part 1. Recreation (Because it’s MY weekend Goddammit!)

1. Watch some college basketball. If you’re like me, you don’t start watching college basketball until March, when you put some money on your March Madness pool. If you’re like me, you also lose every year. Take this weekend to get a head start on the competition. (And to watch your eventual #16 NCAA Tourney seed Boston U Terriers take on the Vermont Catamounts.)

2. Watch some college hockey. (Devo, what the hell? College hockey? You mean the NHL? Do they still play that?) Well, yes, but this is college hockey, a non-existent pastime outside of New England and the Midwest. As a BU alumnus (the Penn State of hockey for many reasons) I can guarantee you two things: 1)College hockey is at least as enjoyable as the NHL. 2) BU will suck. Notable games this weekend include your 7-11-4 BU Terriers facing off against MissMet’s UNH squad on Friday and Saturday evenings.

3. Check up on some mock drafts. Get ready for the most overhyped sporting event of the year: The NFL Draft, taking place over the course of two interminable days on the last weekend of April. In the meantime, there are TONS of mock drafts on the net for you to google. To get thee most updated mockdrafts, go to

4. NHL All Star Game. No Crosby, no Brodeur, but still some great talent that no one talks about, mostly because they play in the NHL.

5. Catch up on The Wire. The greatest show on tv right now, quite possibly the greatest drama of all time. It’s in its 5th and final season, but don’t begin the show with Season 5. It needs to be seen from Season 1. So hit up Blockbuster or Netflix and spend Saturday with Season 1 and Sunday with season 2.

6. Watch an NBA game. The big question is why? And now that I think about it, I can’t give you a good answer. Maybe we should skip this one.

7. Australian Open. Sure it takes place at a crazy time due to the 15 hour time difference, but you know that hot girl-on-girl porn you were going to watch tonite? Sharapova and Ana Ivanovic, both playing for the Australian Open Championship are hotter than both of them girls.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Does this mean Reagan is with the Patriots?

In the world of omens, is Bill Clinton rooting for the Giants a good or bad thing? I don't know, but I bet someone out there can provide an explanation.

Daily Pats Haterade

So obviously this guy isn't the most intellectual football person in the world but I do like his track here. The lyrics are top notch and the guitar skills harken back to a young Stevie Ray Vaughn. Granted, my man here hasn't made enough money yet through his music to invest in a quality video camera but hey it's okay. I'm still a fan.

Cheers to you Angry White Pats Hater. Cheers to you.

Devo vs. Mahatma NFL Regular Season Awards Round 2: Who ya Got?

Defensive MVP (AFC)

Devo: (Bob Sanders) Antonio Cromartie has had a helluva season. He led the league in interceptions as well as the silent but steady rejuvenation of the San Diego defense. Not to mention, that he had badass 109.9 yard touchdown return on the field goal; the Devin Hester special, if you will. Cromartie gets it; though part of me is just doing anything possible to avoid giving it to Bob Sanders, who was only slightly more involved in the outcome of Colts/Chargers than I was.

Mahatma: (Haynesworth) I’m still going Haynesworth. I’m sorry Bob Sanders is electric player and he makes a lot of things happen. But this guy is still living off his OMG look at what happened to the Colts defense from last season when he came back. No one pointed at the fact that they played the one dimensional Chief and Raven teams, a Patriot team with Reche “O_O” Caldwell starting and sexy Rexy. This season, Haynesworth was blocked by 2 guys on every single play and was still a force. Without him the Titan defense was as average as you get and I’m sticking to it. Not to say that Sanders isn’t a great player but Haynesworth value to his team is way more important than Bob Sanders.

Final Word: (Haynesworth) Didn’t Haynesworth only play 10 or 11 games this year? Can a guy who plays only 2/3 of his team’s games win the Straight Up Sports AFC Defensive Player of the Year? Doesn’t that cheapen the award? Eh, not as much as our (lack of) readership. Haynesworth it is.

Defensive MVP (NFC)

Devo: (Osi Umeniyora) I’d love to give it to Osi again, if only because he owns the Eagles and took Matt Light to Mark Schlereth’s proverbial woodshed. But staying on the theme of best players on unsung defenses, Patrick Kerney had himself 14.5 sacks and helped make up for the fact that their running back is a gutless wonder.

Mahatma: (Aaron Kampman) Demarcus Ware. Osi is great that’s a given but Ware actually had other responsibilities that included covering receivers, backs and tight ends. He also added 14 sacks and 84 tackles with an astonishing 60 solos.

Final Word: (Osi) Yeah, Ware was great this year, an absolute beast. Both times that they played the Giants, he was the Anti-Roy Williams; which is to say he made plays and wasn’t overrated.

Offensive Rookie of the Year

Devo: (Adrian Peterson) This is easy. Starting only 9 games he got 1,341 rushing yards. But big ups to my boy Ahmad Bradshaw just the same, the best offensive rookie still playing.

Mahatma: (Peterson) Kevin Boss? Oh right. Give it to Peterson. But being the best offensive rookie still playing on two veteran-laden perennial playoff teams like the Gints and Patsies is like being the best looking person from say Mobile, Alabama.

Final Word: (Peterson) In a slight edge over Boss and Bradshaw, Peterson gets the win. But make no mistake, had Boss and Bradshaw not split the G-Men vote, one of them probably could’ve overtaken Peterson. Or not.

Defensive Rookie of the Year

Devo: (Aaron Ross) Patrick Willis led the league in tackles. Tough to argue with him. But again, Aaron Ross is the best defensive rookie still playing. Yeah, you heard me Brandon “Helmet” Merriweather.

Mahatma: (Patrick Willis) It’s still Willis despite Aaron Ross’s stellar rookie campaign. It’s a shame Willis had to deal with a crap defense where he was the only that was there to make tackles.

Final Word: (Willis) This is easy. And more importantly, I can’t think of anyone else besides Willis.

Coming tomorow: the final installment.

Yeah, we're desperate for Gus Johnson, big deal, wanna fight about it?

Giants/Dallas play-by-play, courtesy of Knicks play-by-play guy Gus Johnson! $20 says that if you talk to Knicks season ticket holders who attend every game (not you, White Boy) this would be one of the top 5 highlights of their season; watching another team capture a big playoff win while at a Knicks game.
Knicks fever: like Ebola, except that you won't die.

Reasons to Cheer Against the Pats (if you actually need them)

So as we all know and expected the New England Gaytriots have made the Superbowl once again. Now, despite ESPN’s and other media constantly bending over for the cheaters most people aren’t buying into the love of this team., and for good reason. There are quite a few reasons not to like this team, and none of it has to do with them being good. In fact, that’s about the last reason to dislike this team. So I am going to present five reasons not to cheer for this team should you actually be buying into all of the hype.

5) The Media
The media acts like the Patriots are the next coming of Jesus here to save football, everything they do is right and great and everyone should love them. All their players are the best, Tom Brady best QB ever, Belichick best coach ever etc. The media’s sheer brain dead love for the Pats approaches insane, especially those members that voted Belicheat the best head coach when he got caught, proven and punished for cheating. I’m sorry, but there is something wrong with that. Their 16-0 season is tainted, yet the media refuses to acknowledge Spygate, acting as if it happened decades ago and not applicable this year. They try to force everyone to like this team but in the end people just hate them more.

4) Classless Players
Marching on the other teams symbol, handing a game ball to another teams child fan only to take it away at the last second, letting a team throw you a big retirement party then sign with another the next week, using HGH and then lying about it, aiming for the knees and other low blows and cheating, are just some of the antics the Patriots players have pulled. And let’s talk about character judging. We always hear about Chris Henry and Pacman Jones, but what about the golden boy Tom Brady? This guy’s girlfriend had his baby, then right after he promptly dumped her for another. Brady said in response to Anthony Smith that someone’s actions should judge what they do, not what they say. Well Tom, I think yours says what kind of person you really are.

3) The Head Coach
Bill Belichick is what happens when a piece of crap becomes sentient. His “defensive genius” is actually taping the other team’s signals. He would say in his press conference a lot of players were questionable or doubtful to fool the other team while every other team had the integrity to be truthful. When one of his players gets injured he won’t let the other teams medical staff help. If you are looking to coach somewhere else, he gets the locks changed on you. These are some of the things Belichick has done over the years, and frankly it’s nothing short of pathetic. I also find it funny that he keeps talking about the importance of team, yet that whole family thing eludes him. He cheats on the field and off the field, what more is there to dislike about this guy?

2) The fans
Or, more aptly “fans” I went to school in New England, and for the first two and a half years all I ever heard was how much the Pats sucked, they would never be good, let them move out of town, oh yeah, they didn’t even know who Tom Brady was until Bledsoe went down! Literally, they did not even know his name! But they go on a win streak and eventually get a Superbowl, and what happens? Now they’re the best and most knowledgeable fans out there who have always supported the team. But the truth of the matter is, everything they believe about themselves is the exact opposite of what they are. In addition to being obnoxious, hypocritical bandwagoners, they are also the most classless fan base ever. They don’t cheer for a win, they cheer for injuries to the other team. They don’t celebrate their win, they spit in the faces of the other team and the fans. There are no redeeming qualities about their “fans.” Not to mention they cheer for a team that cheats, and they are ok with it. But looking at the team they cheer for, is it really that surprising the “fans” are the way they are?

1) They are a Disgrace
What do I mean by disgrace? Well, exactly that. They’re cheaters, both on and off the field, and they have no class or integrity in the least. Bill “Aqualung” Belichik makes the effort to get a cameraman a camera and press pass so he can video tape the other team but wont make the effort to put on a decent shirt. The players know they were cheating and went along with it. And yes Teddy Bruschi that does mean we are taking away credit from the past Superbowl teams because they cheated too and deserve to have the credit stripped. They insult anyone who ever has, is or will play the game by cheating. They say “to hell with the rules” like they are above them, and worse of all the media and even NFL treat them that way. This is a team that despite not even needing to cheat to win, did so anyways, and I don’t know how much lower you can go than that.

So there are five major reasons not to like this team. The Patriots “fans” can go on all they want about how others are jealous or about past losses, and that’s the short sighted, simple minded response I would expect from a New England “fan”. But that’s not it. Losses come and go. It’s the fact that coach, players and fans are all classless individuals who I can’t for the life of me understand why anyone would cheer for them.

Angry White Man Vol. 1

As Ben Folds once said, “It’s tough being male middle class and white.” To commemorate Mr. Folds’ prophecy, we’ll be posting Angry White Man rants every once in a while.

So I was tired, hungry, and beginning my 20 minute walk home from the Metro in scenic Rockville, MD the other night when a motorized scooter, like the type that George used in Seinfeld passed me. Three thoughts immediately came to mind:

1. They’re going to get home before me. Fuck them.

2. They better be truly injured if they’re using one of those bad boys.

3. Even if they’re disabled or injured, they’re still going to get home before me. Fuck.

“And he’ll go to the grave as an Angry Young Man…”

To Sum it All up (Part II)


Here are a few names of players that more than likely won’t be apart of gang green next season: Andre Dyson, Victor Hobson, Hank Poteat, Justin McCairens, Adrian Clarke, Anthony Clement, Ben Graham, Erik Coleman, Eric Barton, David Barrett and there maybe be more along the offensive and defensive lines.


Chad Pennington – We Jet admirers are probably one of the more pathetic fanbases (Philly, Oakland, you’re right up with us) in the NFL. We cheer when Chad goes down with an injury, boo when he relieved Clemens after his injury and we made the Jets/Steelers game look like a road win at Heinz Field. (Jets fan love to scalp tickets I guess.) Our showing was piss poor, largely due to the fact that we haven’t had a consistent winning football team probably since the late 60’s or mid 80’s. And Chad is not taking us to Super Bowl glory. I say trade him and try and get a 4th round pick (hell if Patrick Ramsey could amount for one I’m sure so could Pennington).
Jonathan Vilma – I love the man (no homo). He’s a great player that would make any linebacking corp. better. But coming off a bad leg injury, not adjusting well to the 3-4 and the emergence of David Harris, Vilma could be expendable. I’d hate to see him go to another AFC opponent (especially the East). But since he can’t play the ILB position and probably the OLB in the 3-4, his term as a Jet should be over and they should trade him now before his value drops even lower. Rumor(s) were that he’d be part of a deal that would send him to Cincinnati and Chad Johnson to the Jets. As much as I’d love to see Ocho Cinco in green and white (so would Mahatma), they’d be better off acquiring draft picks instead of a disgruntled receiver who has one big play every four weeks.


NFL Free Agents: Jared Allen, Albert Haynesworth, Justin Smith, Terell Suggs, Alan Faneca, Ruben Brown, Jordon Gross, Marcus Trufant, Asante Samuel, LJ Smith, Lance Briggs, Corey Williams etc. The addition of any of these guys would certainly make the Jets better.

Offensive Needs: (LG, RT, WR, TE, QB)

Obviously the big problem is the offensive line. If Jake Long were available at #6 in the draft it would be a wet dream come true and the Jets should take him. I have a feeling LG Faneca might be looking for Steve Hutchinson money and I’d hate to see the Jets waste cap space on a deal like that. But leadership and experience is most important on a line and it helps develop chemistry and flow. They could draft a rookie in later rounds but I say fuck that, go for the leadership and experience instead of the development project. (It did wonders for us this season, eh Hoodie Jr?).

The Jets lack a big passing threat and speed at the wideout position. A nice quick young receiver that can help open up the middle of the field for Coles and Cotchery would be sweet. The draft is stacked with young WR talent they need. I say they should look in the 3rd round as there could be some potentials still looming. They could also use someone tall enough to catch the stupid fades Schottenheimer loves to call in the corner of the endzone (my least favorite play of all time) work.

If Pennington goes then another veteran QB presence should be brought in to put pressure on Clemens. But considering that free agency is light in that department, maybe its best they hold onto CP for now. He wasn’t too bad in relief during the 2nd meeting against the Pats….pfft fuck it, cya Chad, hellooo Dante Culpepper!

Defensive Needs: (NT, DE, OLB, CB, FS)

Nose tackle is the centerpiece of the defense. The only way the Jets could manifest a pass rush was lining 2-3 yards off the line of scrimmage and take a running start (creative, worked some times but not all the time). Another pass rusher to complement Shaun Ellis is definitely a need. Chris Long would be an awesome addition. They need someone with his ability that can pass rush and drop back in coverage.

If they do release Andre Dyson, Hank Poteat, and David Barrett, that leaves the Jets with just Darrelle Revis, Justin Miller and Drew Coleman at cornerback. Asante Samuel could be tempting but the Jets don’t need another big contract cornerback. If the D line can do their job rushing the QB, players like Hank Poteat and Drew Coleman will look better and actually make plays. As a protégé of Senor Hoodie, Mangini should know that you don’t need a big time cornerback to have an effective secondary (I bet Hoodie judges’ talent by the Thetan levels of scientology; apparently Asante Samuel and Randal Gay are already at the 8th level).
Common sense would tell you that if only one linebacker out of 4 starters is making an impact on defense, the other 3 are just not that good. The OLB position is very thin and needs vast improvement. Barton was moved to ILB and Hobson saw his playing time decrease as the season went along. A Chris Young or Vernon Ghoulston type player would help if either is available when the Jets draft. But who knows, they got a steal with David Harris in the 2nd round last year, maybe luck will strike twice in later rounds (

FINAL THOUGHT: So Heath Ledger overdosed. Am I bummed? No, not really. I only hope that “The Dark Knight” (next batman movie in which he stars as the joker) doesn’t get it’s release delayed because of it. My friends (mostly girls who love the Australian) call me heartless. Heartless you say? No, I’m not heartless. I just can’t forgive or respect the man that ass-pounded Donnie Darko and made him his prison bitch. That is all.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Daily Pats Haterade

In an attempt to get our readers fired up for the Superbowl, here's some random hate that I'm doling out to our fine chowda-headed brethren up north.

That about sums it up on where Straight Up Sports stands...

We're #1! We're #1!

Does this count as a 27th Championship?

I'm going to say yes. Take it away, Johnny Drama.


First let me say it's cool to be here joining the crew of Straight Up Sports. I may not be a New Yorker like the others, but that won't stop me from weighing in on things. I'll upload some information on myself into my profile soon.

For my first post here, I would like to share a quite awesome video with everyone. In fact, I will say it is pure awesome. The video is a bit long and the song is kinda meh but I assure you its worth it. And yes, all these people were the original cast of the movie.

To Sum it All Up......At least they're better than Miami (overview)

It didn’t take me long to lose hope during this season (I think every Chad Pennington INT was returned for a touchdown and Kellen Clemens never provided that spark we hoped for) and at the current moment I don’t have high expectations for 2008. With the 6th overall pick in the draft and $26 million of cap room the Jets should be in good hands to help the rebuilding process move quickly and possibly pose a slighter threat to the Masshole Patriots.
Also, good job winning the last game of the season so you can pick 6th instead of 3rd in Aprils draft Mangini. Did anyone else notice that the Jets were trying to let the Chiefs win? Maybe it’s just me, but when you play 3.5 quarters of stellar defense and then let an untalented schlum like Brodie Croyle (I want to do naughty things to his wife) tie the game on a 3 minute drive late in the 4th, you’re sucking Ken Dorsey’s dick come spring.


- David Harris definitely shined in his rookie season. He finished the year with 127 tot, 5 sacks and 2 ff. Not bad for a rookie who started only half the season and quite possibly took Vilma’s spot on the defense (read about Vilma later).
- I was a little hesitant the Jets traded up to get Darelle Revis with the 13th overall pick but after watching him progress into the #1 CB on the depth chart it was well worth it.
- Leon Washington is the Kevin Faulk of the Patriots. He can return, catch, rush and pass. He’s just the all-around player that teams would love to have. If there was one consistent playmaker on offense he would be the guy.
- Jericho Cotchery had a fine season; 82rec, 1130 yds, and 2 TD’s. Took a lot of big hits too. Maybe a little more Clemens a little less Pennington and Jericho will have more time to avoid those hits.
- Kerry Rhodes, a probowl snub, definitely earned captain for the defense. Best player on the squad.
- Chris Baker had a decent season for a tight end; 41rec 410yds and 3TD’s. He’s also has some good hands. Not that great of a run blocker but he can improve.


- Man where do I begin, well let’s start off at the most important position, QB. We all know by now that Pennington will be Pennington and he will always be a con. And Kellen Clemens was no Dirk Digler either, more like Reed Rothchild, he wasn’t a big bright shining star. I think his best game was actually against the Ravens, his first NFL start.
- Offensive Line – The trade of Pete Kendall right before the season started was a dead giveaway that this would be a long agonizing season. And it certainly showed. DaBrickashaw Ferguson suffered greatly from it. He gave up the most sacks by anyone on that line and he’s supposed to be better at pass protection than run-blocking too. Well he sucked at both this season.
- Wide Receivers – McCairens, this section is just for you. Obviously a waste of a 2nd round draft pick few years back. There is no light for this man as a Jet. Good luck in Washington (they love Jet receivers).
- Defensive Line – 29 total sacks compared to the league leading team with 55 sacks. Unacceptable I say! It’s obvious the players are not built for the 3-4 system and the stats show.
- Andre Dyson – Learn to tackle fool (Plaxico says hi)!
- Special Teams – For giving up the longest kick return in league history (108 yds to Ellis Hobbs in week 1 vs. the Cheaters if you all may have forgotten).

NFL Regular Season Awards: Devo vs. Mahatma, who ya got?

Well another NFL regular season has ended. (Dude, it ended like 3 weeks ago. Where the hell you been?) And along those lines, it’s time to give out the 53rd annual Straight Up Sports NFL Regular Season Awards, as brought to you, as always, by Devo and Mahatma in point/counterpoint/final word format. Not all of our awards are here, as we're going to do this over the course of roughly 4-5 consecutive days. So once again, Devo vs. Mahatma, who ya got? Let’s do it!

(Half season choices in parentheses.)

Offensive MVP (AFC)

Devo: (Tom Brady) Tom Brady, who certainly is offensive. If he throws for better than 22 of 25 in the Super Bowl, it’ll kill every Giants fan who holds onto Phil Simms’ “Biggest performance on the biggest stage” record setting Super Bowl performance like it’s their fountain of youth.

Mahatma: (Brady) He broke all the records, bangs a hot actress and drops his demon seed in her, dumps her and goes with an even hotter supermodel and gosh darn it he’s loved by Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. Thankfully, Nantz and Simms won’t be doing commentary in this game but I’m sure Joe Buck and Aikman will assume the position.


Offensive MVP (NFC)

Devo: (Brett Favre) Todd Collins! (Just kidding.) But seriously, Favre had one of his greatest seasons of his career at his age. Gotta give it to him, though his ex-understudy, Hasselbeck had himself a damn solid second half of the season and might even place 2nd in this category.

Mahatma: (Favre) I’ll stick with Favre, though an argument can be made for (Pre Jessica Simpson) Homo as well. Ryan Grant’s second half resurgence should take votes away from Favre and give it to Homo but that would screw up the “one-team-can-only-have-one MVP” rule that we have instituted. Favre’s play was a reason the Pack emerged out of the NFC and if John Madden loves him than he must be an MVP.

Final Word: (Favre) Oh we’ll give the award to Favre, but only after we show this nugget from the mid-season awards:

Devo: “But I also think the Packers will eventually fall from grace, either in the 2nd half of the season or in an early playoff round." How prophetic that ended up being.

Stay tuned tomorow for more awards.

Douchebag or the Coolest Guy on Earth?

So you've probably seen this video on the internet.

I gotta say this kid has all of his priorities on straight. The true db in this whole thing is Mrs. Blondie acting all holier than thou. I'll bet Blondie never threw any parties when her parents went out of town. Watch as Blondie gets served to the nth degree by this kid. The kid though needs to update his wardrobe to not be so wankerific but you know I wore some dumb things when I was 16 too. Not to mention, treating Blondie like shit in this situation gets some value added points here.

So the question remains...Douche or Winner?

Michigan: Do we need it?

So, for as long as I can remember, I've hated all the sports teams from Texas and Ohio. Now, Subway Chatter readers may remember that my Texas feelings have thawed due to Tim Duncan and Tony Romo. But I have maintained my hatred of Ohio at a professional level. I dislike driving through the state, most of the people who live there and how they vote. Now, sadly, circumstances may require me to thaw this relationship as well. Im from West Virginia, and if you are a fan of college sports, you may have heard about our football coach, Rich "ShrivelDick" Rodriguez, pulling a Baltimore Colts-like departure and skipping town (not before making a few recruiting calls for Michigan on his WVU-issued cell phone!) on the sly. Rich has been lamenting lately that the bed he made for himself is not too comfortable, and that got me thinking: What are my long-term plans for hatred of this man and his football program? This defection, coupled with Michigans poaching of our basketball coach, John Belien, last year has gotten me to the point that I will actually be rooting for the Ohio State Buckeyes when they play the Wolverines now. Im not ready to give up on hating Ohio, Chad Johnson and Kellen Winslow will see to that, but damned if I dont hate Michigan now too. Fuck RichRod, fuck Belien, you're cool MSU, fuck Michigan, Im out.

Guess who's back, back next year, Spags is back, tell a friend

In what can only be considered great news for Giants fans, Atlanta is most likely going to sign the Jags' D Coordinator to be their head coach.

What does this mean? It means that the Giants true MVP, Defensive Coordinator Steve Spagnuolo (not to be confused with the "defensive coordinator" at the 51st State Bar in DC; aka, the guy who talked into his blow up headset before every play and used a bar menu to pick defensive schemes) will remain with the team for at least another year. This eerily resembles 2000 when we had a head coach (Fassel) on the brink of losing his job and a young up and coming coordinator who everyone knew would be a solid head coach. Everyone hated to see Fox leave because they knew that it was only a matter of time before Fassel got canned. Let's hope this same situation doesn't come back to bite the G-men in the ass.

Speaking of Fassel, good to see him in serious discussions with the Redskins about a head coaching job. My guess is that the job is still Williams' but that they'll ask Fassel to hop on board as the Offensive Coordinator. The fact that Fassel hasn't recently been a head coach again since his Giants stint sort of blows my mind. The dude had a lot of shortcomings as a coach (most notably, teams with good expectations sucked) but he also did a lot of positive things with the Giants. (Teams with no expectations almost always made the playoffs.) And if Norv Turner can get 3 chances to be a head coach, shit, if Greg Williams, who sucked in Buffalo, can get a 2nd chance to be a head coach, shouldn't Fassel, a coach who reached the Super Bowl, be given a 2nd chance?

Ho hum, just your average night in Jersey

7 goals. 5 on the power play. 4 points for Johnny "Just because I'm young doesn't mean that I don't suck" Oduya. Just another night at the office for the greatest offensive squad this side of Gretzky/Messier/Kurri.

Leave Brady Alone

Can't Tom walk with his flowers and his man purse on the streets of the biggest city in the country in peace. Jeez. It's not like he's trying to get attention or anything. Leave the "man" alone.

Eli Mea Culpa: I'm sorry soooo sorrrry by White Boy South Bronx -------> hypocrite

It was a frigid night at Giants Stadium. Coming off an exciting if not nerve racking 2 game road sweep of the NFC rival Bears and hated NFC east rival Eagles, I was excited to see my beloved Giants clinch a playoff berth at home against rival Washington. Particularly, I wanted to see Eli step up his play in a fairly big game. Unfortunately, Eli put together a historically awful performance. He managed to complete a paltry 18 of 52 passes, was off the mark all game and left the field to a constant chorus of boos. It was this night that I wrote off Eli Manning for good, so I thought.
It just did not seem that this highly touted star from Ole Miss would even be a good NFL quarterback, let alone draw comparisons to his already legendary brother Peyton. I had enough of his erratic play, I had had enough of his poorly shaven, 8 year old looking face. However, in the span of 4 games Eli has gone from a mediocre quarterback at best, to a very good NFL hurler. Somehow, Eli finally learned to be smart with the football. I think this is the main reason for his late season ascension. He has zero turnovers in the playoffs and only 1 in his last four games dating back to the epic battle against now super-bowl opponent New England. He played one of the best games I’ve ever seen a Giant’s quarterback play vs. a stout Patriot’s defense in the regular season finale. Although Eli’s Giants lost the game in part due to a badly overthrown interception intended for Plaxico Burress, He looked like a new player in this game. He was confident, smart and impressively accurate. Compliment this with his greatest strength, his good arm, and you’ve got yourself a good QB. However, I needed to see this performance repeat itself in the playoffs before I was convinced he had turned a corner.
Yea, Eli had great QB ratings against a good Buccaneer’s defense and a solid but overrated Dallas defense in the wildcard and divisional playoff games respectively. However, Eli threw the ball a combined 45 times in those two games and never threw the ball more than 15 yards down the field. I was impressed with his decision making and accuracy but he did not win those games for his ball club; his excellent and fantastically coached defense did. The real test for Eli would come this past Sunday in what was the most dramatic Giant’s game I have ever been a part of as a fan. As the FOX music glared through the television set, they flashed to Eli warming up before the game. Although I can’t put my finger on it, he had this look to him that gave me a certain confidence. He looked excited but not anxious, intense but not crazed, fired up but not on edge. It really took one pass for me to realize this was going to be Eli’s game, win or lose.
I get chills thinking of that first bullet he threw to Plax over the middle to start the game. I was as stunned Eli came out throwing as I was at how accurate and strong his throws were in this unbelievably frigid field. He looked more than calm, he looked like, well a leader. Although his numbers don’t say it, he was incredible Sunday night. He made incredible throws to perfect spots and was robbed of close to 300 yards if a few balls were not dropped. Eli, who had been horrendous in bad/cold weather in his early Giant’s career put to bed the notion that he was a warm weather quarterback, that his recent hot streak was a flash in the pan, and that he could not lead the Giants to the super-bowl all in one game.
Although it was the emergence of another once maligned Giant, cornerback Corey Webster with his timely inerception that ultimately put previously disgraced kicker Lawrence Tynes in position to nail a 47 yard game winning field goal; (So I guess he only makes the hard ones) Eli got the Giants to overtime against an excellent Packer’s defense. He did this in horrid cold that even made the Artic Circle seem warm. No really it was 25 degrees warmer there than in Green Bay. You won this game for us with your gusty play and calm stewardship of YOUR offense. It’s your team and your town now man. Eli, I’m proud that you’re my franchise quarterback. Oh yea, feel free to kindly disregard the insulting things I said about you from the last article I wrote about you. Thanks

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Welcome to Straight Up Sports!

Welcome aboard the show that never ends that we like to call Straight Up Sports! We're a group of kids in our mid 20's who love to talk sports. As we all are either from the New York area or living here now, most of this site will be focused on New York Sports, and given the current climate, the New York SUPER BOWL BOUND Giants. But in the same way that New York is a diverse community, Straight Up Sports is just as diverse. Actually, that's not true. We're mostly white guys except for an indian and a white chick. But we all have various rooting interests that range from the usual New York teams (Yankees, Mets, Giants, Knicks) to the Pittsburgh Black & Gold to the Red Sox to the Devils, and everything in between. Our main focus is sports, but our posts are going to be everything from solid Edge NFL Matchup analysis to the most irreverent sports discussion this side of Bill Simmons to whatever's going down in pop culture to simply whatever grinds our gears.

The good lord gave us blogs, and it is now time for Straight Up Sports to begin its reign of terror and rock out with our collective cocks out.