Friday, October 31, 2008

Fredo Picks Week 9 of 17

Here we are, around halfway through the season and Mahatma is in the lead. Though his win total looks suspicious to me.

Mahatma 14-7
BH 11-8
Devo 10-9

Detroit (+13) at Chicago
Devo: Detroit has MC5. Chicago has the Smashing Pumpkins. Kick out the jams, muthafu$*a! Pick: Detroit
Mahatma: Detroit also has Kidrock. Pick: Chicago
BH: "Saturday in the Park" beats "Cowboy" any day. Pick: Chicago

Jaguars (-7.5) at Cincinnati
Devo: In a battle of two of the more non-descript cities in America, it's probably warm or at least warmer in Jacksonville. Pick: Jacksonville
Mahatma: Always pick against the city that plays cornhole. Pick: Jacksonville
BH: I will throw a bone to Central Florida. Pick: Jax

Houston (+4.5) at Minnesota
Devo: Houston has hurricane related floods, Minnesota gets bombed with snow. I don't like cold, but I love me some snow. Pick: Minnesota
Mahatma: Minnesota is the land of hockey. Do they even have ice in Houston? Do people even like hockey? Pick: Houston
BH: No, Mahatma, no one likes hockey. Just check the ratings. Pick:Minny

Atlanta (-3) at Oakland
Devo: Outkast or Hells Angels? As I've said multiple times in this section: what separates me from Mahatma is that I don't like old dirty manboobs. Pick: ATL
Mahatma: The thing that separates me from Devo is a dreidel, Ganesh, about 3 inches in height AND LOTS AND LOTS OF HAIR. HEYYY YA you bald fuck! Pick: OAKLAND
BH: Aint no thing but a chicken wing. Pick:Hotlanta

What the hell are you looking at? The Week 9 picks of The Brooklyn Hillbilly

Tampa Bay at Kansas City(+8.5, 36.5)

First of all, condolences to the 15 Devil Rays fans from last year that saw the heights of ecstasy and the pits of despair in this miraculous season. I do hope that the Drays are back in form next year and replace the Yankees as the dueling partners for Boston(tho the Sox dont play as well against them as the Yankees). And its likely to happen, as this is the Yanks plan:

1. Sign at least one and, preferably two, starters from among free agents. 2. Re-sign either Mike Mussina or Andy Pettitte. 3. With the rotation deepened by free agency, use pitching prospects in particular to obtain a prime-age, high-ceiling player at first or in the outfield.

What could go wrong? Sounds like the plan theyve followed the last few years, and that always worked out well.

Anyway, on to football. I picked this game because I dont think Ive covered the Bucs yet this year. And Im getting tired of writing about the Chargers, Bills and the NFC North. Now, the NFC South is an under the radar division, or maybe it isnt and I just dont pay enough attention. Either way, apparently my boy Jeff Garcia is doing his thing once again, winning some football games on the down low.

They are by no means tearing up the league, but they did beat Carolina a few weeks ago and look to be one of the mid-season favorites to make the playoffs. Now, most of their success has been happening on the ground, with Earnest Graham and Warrick Dunn ably playing the inside/outside, thunder/lightning, good cop/bad cop routine. BUT, for a team that runs as well as they do, they should be scoring more. Maybe its the 6 picks that Greise has thrown, I dunno. With a D that is fair-to-middling, they are going to need to put up more points if they want to make a run this year. Anyway, none of that should really be a problem this week in KC. The Chiefs suck, and I will continue my practice of not speaking about the straw men teams in these lopsided games. Suffice it to say that Tampa will get an ego boost from this game, but to ensure future success, they are gonna need to get that defense on lockdown so that their running tandem can dominate games. Tampa has at least one winner this week, 21-7.

White Boy South Bronx's Picks (9-7)

Philly (-7) at Seattle

It really does seem to be raining shit on Joe Seattle. Yikes. The Mariners are wretched, the Sonics are no more, and the usually reliable Seahawks are having a down year. Philly sports fans are on the other end of the spectrum. Their city just secured its first title since 1983, its 76ers had the biggest free agent signing in the association this off season by securing dominant and versatile big man Elton Brand, and its Eagles have even won 2 straight. As much as just sports world would predict a little brotherly love by Philly to its fallen Seattle brethren, no way a good Eagle team loses to the Seneca Wallace led cellar dweller.


Pats at Colts (-5.5)

The Colts have not come down to earth, they have crashed into it. Peyton's line has been decimated and losing Addai for 3 weeks has not helped. Nor has Peyton's gruesomely infected knee. However, Addai is back and just maybe so will be the Colts O. The Pats have been impressive without the NFL's greatest player though its QB has not been. Cassel has sucked on the road, a trend I don't see ending at the Lucas oil-natural gas-charcoal dome.


Mahatma's Picks (13-4)

Some of us know how to pick em. Thankfully, it’s something important like SUS football! As opposed to something else like… girls!

Baltimore Ravens (+1) @ Cleveland Browns

Why pick this shitty game? Well because Baltimore is lame and we’ve run out of things to say on the Fredo picks. Cleveland has turned it on since they beat Giants and are inching their way to respectability finally. Baltimore is somehow 4-3 with a rookie QB and even unveiled a Troy Smith/Joe Flacco backfield. Its shocking that old “Offensive Genius” Brian BiLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLick didn’t think of such an option with the great Kyle Bller last year but alas that’s why he is now announcing games and not coaching. Baltimore sucks and Cleveland is worse but is not as sucky as they were before. The hype coming out of this game is sickening because apparently the Ravens have an offense now. Look I know it’s tough to beat Oakland at home but someone’s got to do it. The same horseshit that confused Jamarcus Russell won’t work here as well with seasoned pro (?) like Derek Anderson whose seen this multiple times. Cleveland also has seen Baltimore already, is getting healthier and based on this bs hype the Ravens are getting now, it wouldn't shock me if the Browns come out with a win.

Cleveland – 21
Baltimore- 16

Green Bay Packers (+5) @ Tennessee Titans

So the Titans are now the team to beat. Uh Oh. They are so menacing with those flaming thumb tacks on their helmets. Look they are a dangerous team but a team with only Chris Johnson on offense can be limited. The Titans are the only offense in the league that’s centered around their tight ends for pete’s sake. The defense though is very good and can flummox even the best offenses which shockingly Green Bay has. The Packers can light you up in the air and are still armed with 4 quality receivers that can test a Titan secondary that isn’t exactly elite to me. The thing about the Titans is that the game will be close. Unless Chris Johnson breaks one, they won’t score quickly. Something tells me Green Bay hangs around. Hell maybe Ryan Grant shows up finally too. Green Bay’s off the bye and Tennessee is playing on a short week. Fuck it, upset special.

Green Bay – 24
Tennessee - 17


That's right SUS can finally resume business as usual this week as we move on from last week's war.

The band is back together!

But I have to wonder why Kordell Stewart and Will Allen got married...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Devo's Picks (7-9)

I spent last week trying to jinx the Cowboys and the Eagles by picking them to win. Whoops, both teams did just that. But my record still sucks. Not Favre-against-the-Chiefs sucks, but not good. Onto the picks!

Dallas (+8.5) over GIANTS

Unless two of your best friends are Steeler fans, this is clearly the biggest game of the '08 regular season for every Giants fan, and it could not have come at a better time for the Giants. I'm not even sure if the Dallas water boy is healthy. I'm not big on war analogies, but the Cowboys secondary, with the loss of Anthony Henry, Pacman, and Roy Williams, is spread thinner than the US military, starting rookies at both corner slots. The Cowboys still have Demarcus Ware, arguably the best pass rusher on either team, but that's pretty much it on defense. On offense, it's impossible for me to not worry about Roy Williams/Aaron Ross and TO/C-Web, but Brad Johnson makes it much easier. Marion Barber 3 is still healthy, but the Cowboys don't like to go to him for more than 15 touches per game. Usually, this involves giving Felix Jones some touches. But with Jones hurt, give credit where credit's due-the Cowboys are stubborn enough to still give Marion Barber 3 his 15 touches, and instead of handing off to a lesser back, they generally just throw the ball a lot more. But Brad Johnson isn't much of a match for this offense.

Oh, and the Giants? Um, they're still damn good, and nothing's gonna change. They were annointed as the well deserved best team in the NFC. But this is Dallas and not Cleveland; the Giants won't take this game lightly. This game stays close simply because NFC East games aren't generally blowouts, but won't be as close as the score says.

Final Score: Giants 24-17.

DENVER (-3) over Miami

A trend in the NFL-once someone gets a lot of credit and publicity for their stellar play, they usually have a lousy game sooner than later. Everyone is saying that Pennington is one of the bigger surprises in the NFL. And they're right, so far he is. But that ends this week. Everyone talks about how tough it is to travel to the West Coast, but traveling to Mile High is tougher. That's going to prove more true than normal for this young team.

Final Score: Denver 31-17

Why I'm a Sports Douchebag Part 2: The White Boy South Bronx Edition

There is a simple fact in life: all hard core sports fans are douchebags when they watch their teams. With that said, it's now time for the writers of your 10th most favorite website to tell about the little and not so little things that they do that qualify them as Sports Douchebags.

For Part I, The Devo Edition, click here

1) I yell at players on opposing teams or players on teams I hate while I am watching a game on TV- Devo can attest to this. He is the one who made me aware of my douchebaggery as it pertains to this unfortunate habit of mine. He noticed me cursing out the image of Tony Romo through the plasma TV at a sports bar in DC. Not only is this illogical, it makes you look kind of psychotic. You would think, in spite of my proclivities towards douchebaggery, I might decide to stop doing this right? Wrong. I continue to do it at an alarming rate. Thankfully my girlfriend has not, at least has not yet, left me over this.

2) I think it is immoral to root for a team that is not from your home area (sort of)- I only say sort of because if your hometown area does not have any team within say 90 miles of your home, I can’t blame you for rooting for a popular and/or good team. For example, my friend, let’s call him, Iowa, Is a Steeler’s fan but is from Iowa. Therefore he is exempt from my morality clause. In addition, if your parent or sibling indoctrinates you to a team, you are also exempt from this rule, like the artist formerly known as Merloni. However, people who grew up in New York who are Cowboys fans make me sick. As do Bulls fans from anywhere that is not within 90 miles of Chicago. I have gotten into passionate arguments with friends who think this makes me very judgmental. I don’t give a shit. I think it’s wrong and will continue to think this way. Therefore, because of my inflexible stance on this issue, I am in fact a rather large douchebag.

3) When I am watching my rival, I become a person who the normal Whiteboy despises- My favorite quote of the campaign season so far was the great Howard Dean’s quote of, “the John McCain of 2000 wouldn’t vote for this John McCain.” The same can be said of normal Whiteboy in regards to rival-hating-White Boy; I become thin skinned, very irritable and quite frankly a douchebag. I even sometimes talk a big game to large dudes who could kick my ass with their pinkies. The regular Whiteboy thinks this version of Whiteboy is a total fuckup and embarrassment to society. This split personality makes me an enormous douchebag.

4) I hate anyone who is from Boston and Philadelphia purely because they root for the Eagles and Redsox- Okay, I am a little less bigoted than that. I just am much less likely to be friends with you if you support these teams. I could meet a girl who is really smart, funny, nice and hot, maybe she is even a democrat too, but I could not imagine myself dating her if she was either a Sox or Eagles fan. My Yankee and Giants fandom is too ingrained in me to say to myself, “Whiteboy, it’s just sports teams, you can’t base a relationship on this.” I cannot do this because I am a monumentally huge douchebag. Any good and decent person would be able to get past this but I just can’t, damn I suck don’t I?

5) I apparently have no sympathy for friends having shitty weekends and still take tremendous pleasure when my team beats his team- This has happened on many occasions because who amongst us has not had a shitty weekend, week, month or even year. However, if my team is playing your team, mainly in football, I just don’t have 1 ounce of sympathy when my team plays your team. I even wave bye bye sarcastically to that friend’s team’s QB when my team has put the game away. Sure I am sympathetic to other issues my friend may be having even it is involving his other sports teams. However, I could never say I’d give back my team’s win over his team, no matter how good of a time I have/had been having or as shitty as a time as he/she has/had been having recently. For this reason I am a cold hearted and even more gargantuan douchebag. Sorry Iowa, BH and Mahatma. Fuck it, I’m not sorry, 6-1 baby!!!! Oh and also not sorry to you B.I.G. about my actions at last year’s game against your Bills.

-White Boy South Bronx

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Congrats to the Phillies... please GO AWAY.


A new mathematical formula to predict the Knicks'win total:a three pronged approach

Well Last year I came up with a seemingly logical but apparently very flawed 5+5 theory. I figured that if top offensive talent Jamal Crawford had stayed healthy during the 2006-2007 season, the Knicks would have won 5 more games than its total that season of 33. Then, I figured that with the acquisition of a talented scorer/rebounder Zach Randolph in the offseason between the 2006-2007 season and 2007-2008 campaigns, the Knick’s win total would increase by another 5 games. Therefore last year I predicted the Knicks would win 43 games. Well I was only 20 games off. So you might be thinking, The Knicks finally got rid of one of the worst human beings ever to be associated with the Knicks (yes that is saying a mouthful) in the offseason and It added a proven coach in Mike D’Antoni. So maybe this is finally the season to really predict an 8th seed for the locals. Hardly…..

The Good

Offense- B= this is the one area of this team that is reasonably solid. Jamal Crawford is a proven scorer (but also loser, more on that latter), and Zach Randolph is also a fairly prolific scorer in addition to being a good rebounder. David Lee is a great rebounder and a very bright player. He is probably the only winning player on the team. Chris Duhon provides the Knicks with its steadiest hand at the point guard spot since Derrick Harper. Quinton Richardson even can knock down the 3 as he did in the D’Antoni system several years ago when he played for the Suns. (You think D’Antoni and Q dreamed of this night 5 years ago when they were playing in conference finals games out in the warm Arizona sun?) This offense really should be half decent. WIN

Considering only offense, projected win total= 49

The Bad

Defense D+= This is the worst defensive team in the East for sure. Chris Duhon is the only average defender on this team. Every other member of the starting 5 is bad or worse defensively. Lee and Crawford hustle but just don’t have good lateral quickness or defensive instincts. Zach Randolph is a bad defensive player and is made worse by his complete e lack of hustle. Quinton Richardson was once an above average defender but his speed and quickness have completely left his broken down body. Simply, put this is a terrible defensive team.

Considering only defense, projected win total= 22

The Ugly

Intangibles= F: I actually think D’Antoni is/was the right man for this job. He, unlike Mark Jackson, has a proven track record of racking up 50 win season in the NBA. He has a system that arguably led to the greatest years of Steve Nash’s hall of fame career. Whether or not his system was the cause of the Sun’s excellent playoff run or whether it was almost entirely due to him coaching the right team at the right team is to be determined. However this is the only decent thing I can say about this team’s “makeup”. Marbury is a complete moron, Jamal and Nate are exciting to watch and very nice guys (they stopped short in the middle of 7th avenue to sign autographs for random kids, I saw this), but they are also not blessed with much upstairs. Neither player has ever seen a shot he didn’t want to take to the locker room and bang. Randolph is either the most selfish player in the league or the dumbest. It is probably a little of column A and a little of Column B. He not only is a chucker but he is a true ball hog. At least if Jamal is trapped he passes the ball. Randolph will either turn it over or just take a fade away three over several defenders. He is a very poor man’s (though not financially thanks to the aforementioned evil man that used to run the show) Gilbert Arenas. David Lee and Duhon have solid plus intangibles but the other key members of D,Antoni’s rotation not only neutralize this, they make New York the dumbest and least clutch team in the NBA.

Considering only intangibles, the predicted win total= 4

Therefore this year’s mathematical formula for predicting the Knick’s win total is 49+ 22+4 / 3= 25 wins

Here come the Nets! A Nets Preview from a Diehard

Look, it's real simple with the Nets. So long as they keep the big 3 of J-Kidd, K-Mart, and RJ together, these guys are the class of the East. I mean, what can get in the way with these guys in house? I mean sure, if all three of these guys got hurt or if they were lost in some manner, this team could be the worst in the East, but what are the chances of that...

A (SUS) Nation Divided: Giants/Steelers Recap

A little bit of location background before we get into the actual game.

1) It has long been decided that if SUS Steeler Nation (BH, Mahatma) watched the game with SUS G-Men Nation (White Boy and myself) it would be the end of the website and our friendship, and there would be a long and bloody courtship of MissMet and SHMUCK, the neutral parties caught in the middle. That said, when a mutual friend (technically White Boy's friend but part of the Steeler crew) suggested that we all watch the game together, the one thing that BH, Mahatma, myself and to a lesser extent White Boy agreed upon was that this was THE WORST IDEA IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. It's the equivalent of bringing two countries into peace negotiations when both countries are perfectly willing to let a war sort everything out.

2) We ended up going to Blondie's on the UES because White Boy was already there, in spite of spending all week saying how he didn't want to go there because he nearly got into a fight with a Dallas douchebag. Basically, White Boy was for Blondies before he was against it before he was for it.

3) Blondie's is a Giants and Browns bar. When they both play at the same time, one floor is a Giants bar, and the other floor is a Browns bar. Unfortunately, my boy Drizz was the first one of us to get a table with a lady friend who happened to be a Browns fan. Yada yada yada, we ended up watching the Giants/Steelers game with a bunch of Browns fans. For what it's worth, there were some quality "Fuck The Steel-ers!" chants that went down as the Browns fans turned their attention to the Giants game. The lesson as always: friendships are built upon finding common ground.

Some thoughts about each side of the football:

  • As much as anyone can hate anything about a team that is 11-1 in calendar year 2008, I hate Kevin Gilbride's play calling. When we run, it seems like we should pass, and when we pass, it seems like we should run. And when we need 8 yards on third down, we call for screens. I like our personnel as much as the next Giants fan, but you can't ask Ward and Boss to consistently break 3 tackles in order to get the first down.
  • The running game was adequate at best. Jacobs and Ward each had a few solid runs, but they couldn't run with consistency for most of the game, and definitely not with the 150+ yard effort that Giant fans have become accustomed to. Hrmm, if only there was someone the Giants could put in when Jacobs and Ward don't have it...
    • Oh, and on those goal line plays-the refs blew the first call. The ball crossed the plane. And on the second play, I think Jacobs got in, but it was the kind of close play that would have been impossible to overturn, regardless of what the refs' original call was.
  • Let's talk wide receivers, shall we?
    • Steve Smith is simply becoming the man on 3rd down. He's always getting open, and Eli is always finding him. My main beef would be that he seems to have trouble locating the first down marker-often he seems to get 7 when the team needs 8, etc... That said, the possibility exists that defenses are only giving him 7 in those situations. Either way, it's nitpicking over a guy who should be a solid #2 by next year.
    • Which is not to say that Toomer is expendable. The old pro came through in a huge way on that 4th down, which, if nothing else, gave Carney a much easier kick.
    • And Plax? Well he's done better. The Giants haven't necessarily been hurt by his lack of production a good deal of the year, but if he doesn't prove himself to be invaluable, the team simply won't tolerate his off the field shenangians. My prediction: Plax is gone before next year. There's a solid argument to be made that Hixon, who has done EVERYTHING asked of him this year, can be a legitimate #1/deep threat. And Plax's crap is only going to be tolerated if he proves to be irreplaceable.
  • But other than special teams, the hugest difference between these two teams was on the O-Line, where Eli seemingly didn't get touched all day despite the consistent blitzes of the Steelers D. There's only so many ways to say that this is THE BEST O-LINE IN THE NFL.
Grade: B. Should the offense be commended for the fact that they were in position to score 20 first half points? Or should they be ridiculed because they only turned in 9 when they should have been up 24 or at least 20-7. Either way, the offense, as it always seems to do, rose to the occasion in the fourth quarter. There's so many ways to make judgments on Ben vs. Eli, but the best is this: when the Giants needed a score, to tie the game up, they went down the field with ease and put up 7. When Ben had the chance to tie the game up, he threw the ball to Kenny Phillips. Speaking of the Giants D...

  • I don't know if you guys have heard, but apparently the Giants D-Line is good. It's funny, it didn't feel like they were putting that much pressure on Ben during the game, but the end result, and some of the highlights tell a much different story. Another solid game.
    • Most of the sacks took time to develop. The question that brings up is this: was the Giants secondary that good or did Ben hold the ball for too long? I'm gonna go with a little from Column A, a little from Column B on this one. On most of those sacks, I have to think Eli would have gotten rid of the ball for an incomplete pass.
    • This seems to illustrate the main difference between Ben and Eli: the former is of the 'gambler' mode where he believes he can always make a play happen, even if there's no play, while the latter is of the safer variety, generally willing to throw an incomplete pass to avoid a sack when nothing is available. This is not necessarily a knock on Ben, who quite often does create plays by holding the ball longer than most quarterbacks. But Ben's highs are higher than Eli and his lows will be lower.
  • Good to see the linebackers and the secondary make some plays. Speaking of which, let's discuss each of the dudes who had an int
    • Ok, I'll ask the question. Is Corey Webster a) a shutdown corner or b) are teams just deciding to pick on Aaron Ross. My guess is B, though Webster has certainly made a nice transition from worst quarterback in the history of the NFL early last year to a good young corner with lots of potential. And Ross? Well, he still has lots of potential and will improve.
      • And for what it's worth, nice play by Webster, picking off Ben on 4th down and losing 5 yards by not batting the ball down. Oh well, I'll take it.
    • Kenny Phillips made a stupid helmet to helmet hit early in the game. But that doesn't take away from the fact that Kenny Phillips is basically the next great safety in the league; though it must make Redskins fans sick to see a young, hard hitting safety wearing #21. Nice INT, Kenny.
    • Bryan Kehl. Love me some Mormons. I realize that on Kehl's interception, the ball found its way into Kehl's hands, but that's still the type of play that would not have ended in an interception two years ago. Some solid instincts for the fourth round pick from BYU.
      • And speaking of which, let's take a near-mid year look at this year's draft class, shall we?
        • 1st round-Kenny Phillips-See two bulletpoints ago. Stud.
        • 2nd round-Terrell Thomas-Nothing yet. That's ok
        • 3rd round-Mario Manningham-Been inactive mostly because you can't carry 7 receivers each game. Patience though, he'll be solid.
        • 4th round-Bryan Kehl-Starting in place of Gerris Wilkinson due to injury. By the end of the year, he'll be starting in place of Gerris Wilkinson due to talent.
        • 5th round-Johnathon Goff-Who
        • 6th round-Andre Woodson-he's been cut and signed a few times to and from the practice squad. Unfortunately for Andre, I think we're pretty good at QB right now.
        • 6th round-Robert Henderson-Apparently this guy is a DE. Whatever, it's all good.
      • So yeah, not as good as last year's draft class, but by the end of the year, watch for Phillip and Kehl to be starting and for Thomas (especially with Dockery (who sucks) out) and Manningham to provide meaningful contributions to the squad.
    • But getting back to the Ben INT's, James Butler. For someone who is considered to be far and away the worst starter on this team, he had a very good game. Yes, he was embarassed on the 2nd half td by Nate Washington. But he had a very tough interception and made the hit that created Kehl's interception. I'll take it.
Grade: A. There was a period in the third quarter where it seemed like the Steelers were starting to dominate the line of scrimmage. But there was also the other 3 quarters, where except for the opening drive, the Giants defense dominated the Steeler offense, with a little bit of help from a key holding penalty and some stupid personal foul penalties.

And last but not least, Special Teams:
  • Domenik Hixon. Ridiculous. I can't say this enough- a lot of people don't think he's going to be anything special, but every time that he has been on the field, he has been one of the better players out there, either returning punts or lining up wide. He needs more touches; but so does most of this offense.
  • Great job of kicking by John Carney. A ball took a left turn through the goalposts, and you can't help but think that he planned it. I can sit here and worry that his kicks aren't going through the goalposts, but you know how you know your team is very good and very balanced? When two of your bigger worries are a) why doesn't our kicker put the ball in the end zone on kickoffs? and b) is this the week that our lousy kicker who put the Giants in the Super Bowl returns?
  • And lastly, a quick note about the Steelers longsnapgate.
    • Remember in 2k2 when the Giants were on their seemingly 8th long snapper and it cost them on the final play in the first round of the playoffs? Well, what goes around comes around. Sorry Steeler fans, but as much as any team playing as well as the Giants is owed anything, we, the fans, were owed that.
Grade: A+++++++++ Hixon is great. The Steelers backup long snapper is not.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

New Rules for Etiquette Amongst Friends Who are Fans of NFL Teams Playing Against Each Other

So there is still much chirping going on (instigated by me) here at SUS almost 2 full days after the Giants 21-14 wins over the Steelers. The Giants won a physical and yes ugly (that’s for you BH) game. I will even admit that the Giants were greatly aided by a very fortunate and equally horrid long snap that sailed all the way past the back of the Steelers' end zone and resulted in a safety. However, what everything leading up to this game and its aftermath has taught me is, there needs to be a new rulebook written on friendship etiquette regarding a game between their favorite football teams. Due to my own short attention span and those of the typical American sports fan, I will keep it somewhat short. Here goes nothing….

1) (1) Do not watch this game with your friend(s) - Thankfully I did decide against doing this. My friend Iowa sent an email to myself, BH, Mahatma and Devo inviting all of us to watch this game together. I found this invite harmless though probably unlikely to be successful, while Devo and Mahatma were quit perturbed by this gesture. However, to paraphrase the awesome but hardly inspiring Nancy Pelosi, “Devo and Mahatma were right and Whiteboy South Bronx was wrong.” Seriously, this would have been a disaster. I threw my hat down twice in anger during the game and then, after the game finished I performed a “leap up after the touchdown” high five with Devo. This would not have gone over well if all 5 of us were watching this game together. I wanted to Kill Mahatma and Iowa each time the Steelers scored and they probably hated me after Big Ben’s final pick of the day landed into the waiting arms of Kenny “late hit” Phillips. Good call Devo and Mahatma and bad call by me.

(2) Allow at least a 48 hour period of no communication between yourself and your friend if at all possible- Obviously this does not work if you live with your friend. However, what I have learned as recently as 12 hours ago is that any innocuous comment made by yourself will be interpreted as personal and/or mean spirited by your friend during the 36-48 hour period following said game. This period should be doubled if this is a playoff game and tripled if it is the Superbowl.

(3) Don’t have your cake and eat it too- if you are going to both (1) downplay the significance of this game to your friend and/or (2) predict that your team is going to get smoked, you cannot then brag about your team’s victory shortly thereafter. This allows you to claim solace and victory either way. If your team wins, you can say, “it's still my team so I can brag even though I thought we’d lose” and if your team loses you can just say “see I told you so.” So if you pick your team to win, then you can brag after 48 hours to your friend but if you pick your team to lose, you maintain no bragging rights.

(4) Don’t write a serious preview article- Chances are you will either drastically overrate or underrate your team’s chances on Sunday. Mahatma and I both predicted that our opponent would beat our favorite team by at least 10 points. However, the spread of 2 should have alerted both of us to the fact that this would be a close and exciting game. As good as Mahatma’s analysis was and it was excellent, and as sincere as my prediction was, we both had trouble separating our pessimistic diehard fandom from our “duty” to make logical predictions. However, at least Mahatma had good matchup analysis, what was my excuse? Oh right, as you will all soon see, I am a huge douchebag.

(5) Don’t pretend to take the high road and then lapse into sports fan arrogance- I, unlike a friend of mine whose identity I won’t reveal Devo, refused to start a Steelers suck chant because (1) they don’t suck (2) I have nothing against them and (3) I have two good friends who root for Pittsburgh. However, in spite of this and refusing to even mention the game in any way till Tuesday; I could no longer contain myself. Tuesday morning BH gave me an opening. He said a SUS email thread I started confused him so I of course responded, as any self-respecting Giant fan with Steeler fan friends would, “My bad, I bet you are all as confused as B-Roth was after each of his 4 picks”. Okay, so that BH comment was not really any kind of invitation to make fun of B-Roth or the Steelers. I don’t know if I regret my 36 hours after the game insult or whether I regret ever taking the high road in the first place. Either way, I wish I was consistent and stayed on message like Obama and did not veer off message like Palin.

New York, We Have A Problem

Nothing is ever easy for the New York Jets. No Larry Johnson, a 3rd string quarterback leaving just 2 weapons on offense (Tony G and Dwayne Bowe) and Kansas City was minutes away from an upset. No Johnny Drama “Victory” speech can lighten my expectations for the rest of the Jets season.

The Jets knew the roller-coaster they were going to be riding when they traded for Favre. Ok, so he brings excitement and a totally different exciting style of play but is it really worth it? His red-zone turnovers in his first 8 games as a Jet are more than Pennington has had in his whole career, that’s a scary statistic. And I love how the commentators and experts use Favre's career accomplishments as an excuse for this. There are no excuses for a quarterback making as many bad decisions as Favre has done this season.

For 2 straight weeks the Jets have worked on airing the ball out and establishing a passing game. Only problem is that it’s not working very well. Both the Raiders and the Chiefs are near the last in the league against defending the run; yet Schottenheimer/Mangini and company decide that the gameplan should be to avoid the run and throw the ball more. Even Herman Edwards himself was surprised by the Jets decision to throw the ball early and consistently and avoid the run. Sure, it’s good to fool the opposing coaching staff and make them reevaluate their strategies but not if your gameplan is effective (and it hasn’t).

What do Ryan Fitzpatrick, Matt Cassell, Jamarcus Russell, and Tyler Thigpen all have in common? They all looked good against the Jets defense. What's with New York D giving confidence to these young inexperienced QB's? I'm not even sure what the answer is. With the exception of Kurt Warner, Favre has been outperformed by every QB he's played against this season. Mangini doesn't seem to have an answer to stop the dink and dunk passing plays. Tyler Thigpen in his second career start looked like a probowl quarterback, effectively moving the ball down the field and putting the ball where it needed to be. By the 3rd quarter it was like the Jets defense just gave up and stopped trying. Sure, I guess I would get impatient too if my $12 million 40yr old hall-of-fame quarterback kept turning the ball over more than a white NBA point guard.

A win is a win, right? As a Jet fan I'm still worried about this team. Their lackluster performance against one of the worst teams in the league is not a great confidence boost. Especially considering they are going to Buffalo to play against the first place Bills. This is quite possibly their biggest game so far this season. A win on the road against a division opponent would be a huge lift to team morale. All they have to do now is find themselves a kicker and a quarterback who knows what team he is playing for when throwing the football.

Tuesday Afternoon Bullshitting w/ Mahatma

So I'm bored and at work. That's a good thing though because I did a lot last week and yesterday and need to have a Me-Day (not to be confused with Who Dey). Here's some crap that has kept me occupied during this slow period.


Pretty crazy stuff: "The FARC holds an estimated 750 hostages in Colombia. Its members have justified hostage taking as a legitimate military tactic."

Being that this city is currently getting rained on hardcore I noticed something today. People really need to get a license to operate umbrellas.

For those not aware, Britain has decided to go ahead with a somewhat controversial idea of teaching sex ed to kindergarten aged students due to the high teen and preteen pregnancy rates in their country.

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind is a lot closer than you think.

Here's another fun little thing I found on a messageboard:

Basically there are three steps:

1. Click on
here, the article name will be your band's name.

2. Click on
here, the last four words of the last quote will be your album's name.

3. Click on
here, the picture on the right at the top row will be your album's cover.

Yes I'm quite bored and have no interest in talking football at the moment.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Someone has a case of the Mondays...

MONTERREY, Mexico – The world's heaviest man has tied the knot. Manuel Uribe, who hasn't left his bed in six years, married his longtime girlfriend Claudia Solis Sunday in northern Mexico.

Wearing a white silk shirt with a sheet wrapped around his legs, Uribe smiled as Solis, 38, walked down a flight of stairs wearing a strapless ivory dress, a tiara and hot-pink lipstick.

He later broke into tears as a notary declared the couple husband and wife in a civil ceremony attended by more than 400 guests. For the traditional first dance as newlyweds, Uribe and Solis held hands and swayed to a romantic ballad.

Sure you watched your closest thing to a college football lose by 20 at home to RU, watched the Rags beat you in overtime and than watched the Giants long snapped their way to victory and nearly getting into 5 fights in the process but hey look at this guy. He can only stay in bed and he just got married despite being 600+ pounds. Yep. Awesome.

Johnny Drama: Giant diehard or simply a Pittsburgh hater?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

If You Make a Comparision, Be Sensible About It.

So I came across this article on Fox Sports the other day by Ian O'Connor about who he would choose from the 2004 draft QB class: Eli Manning or Ben Roethlisberger. That I said "Fox Sports" should tell you right off the bat that something is wrong, due to the fact that the majority of writers for Fox Sports are slightly more intelligent than people with Down's Syndrome. And as this is a New Yok blog who has Steeler fans that consist about half of the writers, I thought this was a rather appropriate subject to correct.

Yes, I said correct, because Mr. O'Connor's reasons for his choice (Eli) while have merit, his "deciding factors" that put Eli over Ben are pretty much full of shit. So I've listed below the six reasons he has that give Eli the edge and why they dont hold much, if any weight at all.

Eli is 1-0 in the postseason vs. the ultimate measuring stick, Brady; Roethlisberger is 0-1.

The sad part is he is serious about this. Ben lost in his rookie year to the Pats in the AFC Championship game, who were probably going to win anyway because Bill Cowher is so obvious in his gameplan. So much so that Belichick told his lackey's to put the camera's away. Run, Run, Pass. That's the first three plays of 90% of every series under Field Goal Bill's reign. Not that Eli's win wasnt impressive, but really, based on each team meeting the Pats ONCE in the playoffs? Give me a break.

Eli was MVP of Super Bowl XLII; Roethlisberger was a dreadful participant in Super Bowl XL. No real arguing this one here. SBXL was practically a comedy of errors and Ben didnt play well. Of course the MVP Heins Ward only played an average game, which sadly was enough to win the MVP. Having two more years I'm sure helped Eli some in this.

Eli defeated one of the greatest teams of all time to win his title; Roethlisberger beat the Seahawks, with some help from the refs, to win his.

Any weight this argument carries is wiped out by the refs comment. I still find it amazing that people only acknowledge the missed calls against the Steelers and not the Seahawks (namely a block in the back on the interception return that put the Seahawks at the Steelers 5 instead of their own 30). Or how the Seahawks, you know, dropped about 6 first down passes and missed two fields. He also is intimating with the tone this is the Seahawks of this year who suck something bad. Three years ago the Seahawks were a good team. In fact, their 13-3 record was the best in the NFC that year. Give credit where it's due, the Seahawks didnt reach the Superbowl because they were lucky.

Roethlisberger takes too many hits for too many lost yards — he's been sacked 164 times, or 65 times more than Manning.

Of course he ignores the obvious fact: the Steelers "offensive" line. Over the past three years, some games it looks as though the Steelers dont even have one. It's been well documented to be their achilles heel. And not that Ben wont hold it too long sometimes, the vast majority is the offensive line not doing their job (see Simmons, Kendall and Mahan, Sean for further information). Ben is pretty mobile, and tough to bring down, and the fact that the Steelers have allowed the most sacks of any playoff teams the past three years by a wide margin shows just how bad they are. If you switch the offensive lines, I'd venture to say those numbers would easily be reversed, and in fact infalted more towards Ben favor.

Eli owns the most important talent of all — the ability to stay on the field. He hasn't missed a single start since being given the job; Eli played through the slightly separated shoulder last year that reportedly would keep him out for a month.

Good god. This is just plain f'ing stupid. The majority games Ben has missed are from 1) getting hit head on in a motorcycle accident (watch the South Park episode Grey Dawn for a cameo by the person who hit him) and 2) an emergency appendectomy IN THE SAME SEASON. Somehow, two things neither of which were really his fault means he cant stay healthy. And seriously, has he not been paying attention to the media? The first five weeks the main topic of conversation on the Steelers was, get this, BEN'S SHOULDER! I mean, how can you just blatently ignore these things? Oh yeah, and there's that whole offensive line sucking thing again.

Manning has grown up in the tougher, noisier market, has weathered brutal criticism from the media and the fans and has managed the heavy expectations that come with being a Manning and a No. 1 overall pick.

I'm not going to say Pittsburgh is tougher to play in, but its also the biggest fanbase world wide from people who expect the team to be good. He was the first QB the Steelers took in the first round since Terry Bradsahw; you know, the QB who helped the Steelers win 4 Superbowls, so I'd say there were some expectations there. Yes, the New York media is probably the worst to deal with, but its not like Ben had nothing. He just started off playing good to get the people on his side, something Eli didnt do. Wait, how come the fact Ben started off good and Eli took three years to even be considered semi consistent is not taken into consideration?

I'm not saying Eli is better than Ben, or vise versa. It's just that when you try and decide, dont use either bullshit reasons or exaggerate the pros for one and negatives for the other to influence things. Half the things he gives Eli credit for and holds against Ben are stuff that arent portrayed in a fair light. So I have to wonder, would Ian O'Connor make the same choice knowing his deciding factors are bullshit?

Well, probably. He does work for Fox Sports after all.

P.S. -the only good thing about the article is that San Diego uber douche QB Phillip Rivers isn't even considered. Who, btw, looks a lot like Devo's favorite person, Sean Avery