Saturday, September 27, 2008

White Boy's Picks: Week 5 (5-1)

I apologize to those of you who had trouble getting to sleep tonight because I did not have my picks posted until now. But in case there are some of you that needed to stay up till 1:45 in the morning so that you could go to sleep knowing what my thoughts on some random NFL games were; Here are the White-Boy week 5 picks. Oh and Met fans might want join me and my fellow Yankee fans in accepting that Football will be the only sport in this area to watch in October (interesting sport).

Washington Redskins at Dallas Cowboys (-11)- Ah the always scary double digit spread. However, it is warranted in this case. The Skins have rebounded nicely from a pathetic showing against the champs in week 1 by winning consecutive home games against strong offensive but weak defensive teams in Arizona and New Orleans. However, the Skins are no match for the Cowboys. Dallas is simply has a superb offense and a good enough defense to beat up on the mediocre NFC teams like Washington and beat good but not great NFC teams like the Packers. Dallas should obliterate the 6-10 to be Redskins. I just can't wait till two 7-0 teams meet in the Meadowlands in week 9. I don't really think that will happen but its definitely possible right?

Buffalo Bills (-8.5) at St. Louis Rams - the B.I.G, like myself, has become immersed in his teams' 3-0 start as a way to forget about our Yankees playoff-less season. His team is the Bills. He has a reason to be excited. It poses the finest special teams unit in the league and has watched the blossoming of 2nd year QB Trent Edwards. Marshawn Lynch is making fantasy owners everywhere happy as he has amassed big yardage totals. Dick Jaron is putting his ivy league education to good use up in Orchard Park as he seems to have his club playing a smarter and more focused game than his opponents are playing each and every week. The Rams are one of the worst teams this league has ever put forth. It's offense is anemic and its defense is porous. It has a lame duck coach and owner. There is no reason to ever expect the Rams to win a game. Yet I just have trouble believing the Bills are a 4-0 team. They should make the playoffs this year but I don't seem them as a dominating 12-4 kind of team; you know the kind of team that gets off to 4-0 starts. Call me crazy but I think the Rams might win this game. Maybe Trent Green's return to the Stl. sparks this listless team. Then again maybe not.
THE PICK: RAMS (21-20)



I can’t believe the Jets are still considered a favorite. We Jet fans hope they won’t be as bad as their Monday night debacle but optimism is not part of our vocabulary. The Jets need to make sure they keep Arizona’s offense off the field. Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are considered the best wide receiver tandem in all of the NFL and that’s a lot of pressure for the young cornerbacks. They also need to bring the pressure, throw more blitz. Something they did little of against the Chargers and it showed as Rivers picked them apart. Arizona needs to play their game. If they can control the clock with the run and their short slant patterns they should have no problem wearing out the Jets D and running out of the Meadowlands with a big win. I think their offense is too much for the Jets to handle and they win this one by a field goal.

Arizona 27 Jets 20


The Panthers are coming off a tough loss to the Minnesota Vikings (I can’t believe Gus Frerote is still alive). Is Steve Smith becoming a distraction? They were playing better as a team when he was suspended, could be interesting. Still, I like their chances against the Falcons. Surprisingly Atlanta has played well this season with the huge impact of their running game led by Michael Turner. He is making fantasy owners everywhere very proud. But those monster games of his came against the Lions and the Chiefs, the two worst run defenses in the NFL. Carolina is a much better team defensively and they will cover the spread and win at home.

Carolina 31 Atlanta 17

Friday, September 26, 2008

To All My Jews Out There

Go visit your grandmother!

The Great Schlep

Three Games Left.

With the help of unlikely candidates Ramon Martinez and Robinson Cancel and an AMAZING slide by Ryan Church, the Mets were able to come back (yet again) from what would have been (another) heart breaking loss. The low point of the game was obviously when Rincon gave up the demoralizing three run homer right after Pedro left to a rousing salute from the crowd. That could have been his last start at Shea as a Met (ever? I'm hoping for that...sorry man). I saw all of that debacle in my little mini picture-in-picture (with the Office on the big screen- tv shows need sound, sports don't) and flung my remote at the screen when it all happened. Luckily, the comeback was mounted and the boys then won it in walk-off fashion with the help of Reyes and Beltran. Don't worry, I let the DVR take over for all of that and watched the game on the big screen. I could breathe easily again (after about 2 hours).
So here's where we stand: the Mets are tied with those pesky Brewers for the Wild Card. The Phillies lead the Mets by1 game in the NL East. The Mets will end the season with three games against the Marlins at Shea. The Phillies will end the season with three games against the Nationals in Philly. The Brewers will end the season with three games against the Cubs in Milwaukee. On paper, the Phillies and Mets should have an easier time, but who knows what kind line-ups the Cubs will put out there with their Division secured and the playoffs so close. The Marlins hate the Mets and will definitely not roll over for them. The Mets lead the season series 9-6. The Nationals also might not prove to be such an easy opponent for their NL East rival Phillies-- I hope. The Phillies lead that series 9-6. Don't forget about the forecast for the weekend- lots of rain. Ohh, man. I'll be back with more tomorrow...

Oh and, I have gotten a lot of compliments for all of the great Mr. Met pictures I've put up. I have to give credit to this site for the pictures. I'm sure someone will fix that so it is an actual link. If not, copy and paste.
Stay dry.

Mahatma's Pick (4-2)

Browns (+3.5) @ Bungles

Cincinnati is going out of there to way to dispel the notion that any AFC North team that finishes in 3rd place the year before ends up winning the division. But hey I guess if Marvin Lewis was your coach you’d be 0-3 also. Heck if Romeo Crennel was your coach, you’d probably be 0-3 too. Oh man so what happens when you have 2 idiots coaching against each other? It’s basically a reenactment of two chimps pissing on each other. The Bungals actually look like they are returning from the dead as they took the Giants to the limit and looked to actually get into a sort of rhythm.

Cleveland meanwhile looks horrendous. I mean getting destroyed by Baltimore is never fun but getting embarrassed by some rook QB with Derek Anderson looking like feces in the process. Now we have all the idiots by the lake yelling for Brady Quinn. Wasn’t Derek Anderson one of the best QBs in the AFC two weeks ago? Apparently he's not anymore according to Mark "expert" Schelereth.

Regardless, I see Carson "Cornhole" Palmer leading the Bungs to yet another loss and Cleveland WINS sending the entire city into orgy filled incestfest.

Cleveland– 35
Cincy – 31

Devo's Picks (4-2)

Green Bay +1 over TAMPA BAY

So you've got the vaunted East, and then you have the rest of the NFC. Where does that leave Green Bay? Probably the best of the rest. As has been mentioned previously in this spot, Green Bay has one of the better teams in the NFC, even without taking the QB spot into account. Now that Aaron Rodgers is proving himself to be no worse than a pretty good quarterback, it's safe to assume that Green Bay probably leads the next tier of teams.

And Tampa Bay? It's been many years since Brian Griese was mentioned as a winner. Though as long as they keep Mr. Decesare on the team in any capacity, I have no problem continuing to predict Tampa games.

24-13 Green Bay

San Francisco (+5.5) over NEW ORLEANS

Screw it, let's predict an upset. New Orleans looks good again this year, but still a little one dimensional. Let's say that 2007 NFC Defensive Rookie of the Year Patrick Willis and Co. do a decent enough job of shutting down Reggie Bush. Brees will find receivers, even with Colston and Shockey out. But can New Orleans control the 49ers offense? Well, J.T. O'Sullivan, he of the 104.6 QB rating is off to an oddly solid start, and Frank Gore seems to have found his mojo. Sure, this was done against an injured Seattle team and an awful Detroit team, but is New Orleans' defense any better than those teams? Probably, but not by a helluva lot.

27-24 San Fran!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Yes, I'm Still Alive/Conscious/Able to Function...

...after last night's awful loss. Just in case you're wondering. Though I cannot speak for Mr. Met. Four games of this left, check back with me after each to see if I'm still breathing.
That is all.


(Yea he's a Saints fan but that expression is priceless)

No folks, there will be no “Monday Night Miracle” here. I don’t hear Jumbo Elliot getting announced as an eligible receiver and last I heard Vinny Testeverde is sitting at home fondling himself waiting for a phone call from Bill Belicheat. No, this is a totally different ball game, I’m M. Q. Shmuck and this is my recap, Go F*** yourself, San Diego.

I feel optimistic when I hear that Tony Kornheiser and Jaws still think the Jets can turn it around with Brett Favre under center. But Jesus Christ could they talk about something else!?!? I’m tired of Brett Favre this, Favre that. Fucker hasn’t done anything since he left Green Bay, so shut the hell up! Let’s talk about how the coaching staff is holding back on the play calls. Let’s discuss why Vernon Ghoulston has been a bust so far (typical OSU defense). I won’t bore you with the obvious, we all saw this coming. Monday night I was stoked for the new “Heroes” premiere but wasn’t too highly fond of watching the Jet/Chargers game just because I knew it was going to be a blowout. So of course I had the TV downstairs and the TV in my room both on playing the game and “Heroes”. I can’t tell you how many times I ran up and down the stairs to catch replays of the game; my quads are still sore. Once it became 38-14 the bottle of Jamison was opened and you don’t f*** with an Irishman and his whiskey at this point (I finished the Patron bottle the weekend before).


San Diego Chargers defense has been horrendous. I believe they were giving up 400 yards a game coming into Monday night? Jackpot! Finally, all this talk about how the Jets are going to spread the field and throw down field and have Favre just slinging them to the wideouts might finally come true (but Jet fans know in the back of their minds this means like one play). The pressure was on Mangini and Schottenheimer and they did not deliver.

You can’t beat a team when you turn the ball over 4 times (1 fumble, 3 INT’s.) Especially against the Chargers, who led the league last season in takeaways. And there could have been more but thank God corners are lousy receivers.

The running game was lousy and then non existent after the scoreboard started to get lit up. Jerricho Cotchery is still the best player on the field for the Jets. The man is always hustling and makes big plays. I really thought Coles should have gotten a flag on the Cromartie pick for a touchdown. I really hope the refs didn’t have any soft spots for their game last week against Denver. That’s in the past, don’t let the Jets suffer on that doochebags mistake. Overall it was a sloppy game with a lot of penalties that weren’t called.

Special Teams was phenomenal. With Leon Washington and Cotchery giving the Jets great field position this game should have been a lot closer than it was. Ben Graham was apparently released and then resigned and actually punted the ball well. But no one can be Jeff Feagles.

And Favre always seemed to come up big on Monday nights with Green Bay. But there’s a problem, he’s not in Green Bay. There’s no magic in the Meadowlands or San Diego like there is at Lambeau, I don’t care who you are. I’m not even sure Favre will understand the offense after the bye-week. Sure they’ll have time to straighten up a few things but it looks to me like this might take all season to develop


Where are you? Minus all the turnovers I think the Chargers punted like once? The defense couldn’t keep them out of the endzone. It started out good with Barrett’s INT for a touchdown. Of course 3 plays later he drops another potential interception; again, corners are lousy receivers. Kris Jenkins went down with a back injury and never returned and Pouha looked overworked. There was no pass rush and Rivers had plenty of time to throw the ball down field and make plays.

Rookie Dwight Lowery is really coming along and could actually be a great #2 corner. He still needs time to develop but he made some real nice defensive plays, especially one-on-one with Vincent Jackson going down the sideline.

Their overall defensive approach didn’t respect the explosiveness of the Chargers offense. Trying to stop the run and the big play seemed to open up the middle of the field for slant routes and crossing patterns which burned them on a number of times. L.T. was not extremely affective but he did reach the endzone twice.

But just like last week, when the Jets defense needed to make a stop or a play, they couldn’t. Instead they fall back and play it safe and get beat.


Sometimes I wonder if Mangini and company actually have a gameplan going into a game. To me it looks like they take whatever their opponent gives them and they don’t make the necessary adjustments on the field. There will be a big question in the coaching staff going into the off season if they can’t make a push for the playoffs. The Jets made all those offseason acquisitions to win now and to be more competitive against the rest of the AFC’s elite. But it’s starting to look like it might be too much for Mangini and company to handle. Look at the Yankees for example. They were a dynasty and they did it all with pitching, great defense, and clutch hitting. They spent all that money in free agency adding Giambi, A-Rod, Mussina, Sheffield, Abreu, Pavano etc. and they haven’t won since. I fear this could be a similar outcome for the Jets.
Next week they play a good Arizona team with a strong offense and the best WR tandem in the league. The Jets have responded from 1-4 and made the playoffs in the past, but this was the Herman Edwards era and Pre-Tom “Perfection” Brady. If they can manage going 2-2 into their bye and fix some of their pressing issues, they can easily be a 5-2 ball club as their next 3 opponents after the bye are Cincinnati, Oakland, and Kansas City. The schedule is in their favor and they really need to take advantage of it.

Athletes We Wouldn't Piss On If They Were On Fire Part 4: The Brooklyn Hillbilly Edition

Every child grows up worshiping athletes as their heroes only rivaled by their love of the Ninja Turtles. But you know what? Most of these children grow up to be bitter and jaded, learning to hate their opponents as much as they loved their childhood heroes. And thus, SUS brings you the fourth of a series, "Athletes We Wouldn't Piss On If They Were On Fire."

Click here for MissMet's picks.
Click here for Devo's picks.
Click here for White Boy South Bronx's picks.


(Ocho Doucho)

I don't think this pick needs a lot of explanation. Ive hated this guy ever since he joined the Bengals. His petulant attitude, aggressive demeanor and lack of skill in high-pressure situations mark him as the exact type of person I hate in this world. Johnson even raced a thoroughbred. BUT he gave himself a 100 meter head start in the 200 meter race. No shame. Egotistical, with braggadocio that is utterly lacking in any sort of backup outside of games against shitty teams, Chad Johnson is THE most overrated receiver in the NFL. This guy needs to go to Detroit so his career can officially end.


I could do a whole list of just sports radio/sportscaster people I wouldn't piss on, but ill try to keep it to one. This guy is the most worthless sportscaster of all time. He doesn't even watch sports! That clip also has one of the other most worthless people on the planet, Colin Cowherd, both he and Buck evidently hate watching sports, even tho they make millions a year forcing us to listen to their half-baked analysis. I might also include Tim McCarver in this group, as the Buck-McCarver combo caused anyone rooting for the Red Sox in '03 and '04 to almost throw the remote at their TV at least a dozen times a game during the ALCS.


So I lied about only putting one sportscaster on. This guy is intolerable. Hes like Chad Johnson and Joey Porter had a retarded, flat-footed asthmatic child. All talk, ABSOLUTELY no substance, the guy has the worst case of verbal diarrhea in recorded history. This guy is such an idiot, I actually lose respect for people when they tell me "I don't mind him" or "I listen to his show sometimes". STOP NOW, you are already on the path to mental retardation, listening to this ass-spelunker is a huge warning sign and will only make things worse!



I have never understood how anyone, even fans of the team he is currently on, can like this guy. Now, you may say, "But BH, you were a Manny fan until a couple months ago!". Which is true, but until Manny shoved the elderly traveling secretary for the Red Sox, he was a fairly harmless loon. Sheffield has always seemed like some sort of caged tiger, just waiting for someone to piss him off so he can explode. Hes usually too concerned with whatever his latest feeling of injustice is to worry about being a good teammate or influence on the younger players in the clubhouse.

Not only is he an ass in real life, I hate his video game incarnations too. Putting up with his assholic batting stance is bad enough on a Sunday afternoon as a spectator, why should I have to be distracted by this juvenile display as I'm trying to bring an 8th straight World Series to Boston? Fuck you Gary.



Hey, I do have to give some props to Steven A Smith, at least we agree about this asshat. The fake laughter from Smith when Pat Buchanan mentions Norman Podhoretz(wiki that mofo, hes made his impression felt lately) is priceless. Great job Hardball, insulting a well-respected veteran of the political establishment by making him share a segment with a guy that probably couldn't find America on a map. As for Giuliani, the guys an ass of the highest order. Im not gonna pollute this blog further with this piece of santorum other than to show this.


That is all

props to diceituponline

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

If I had to do the 2008 Yankee season over again...

I'd bring Barry Bonds on board. Screw chemistry, he couldn't have hurt it any more than Pudge did down the stretch. And remember that clutch hitting that A-Rod and Jeter never provided? Yeah, Bonds would give that. Well, maybe he wouldn't be Reggie Jackson, but remember when all we needed was another bat or two to provide the offense to complement our pitching? Yup. He would've been the guy.

But Devo, think of the kids! How will I be able to justify to them the idea of rooting for a juicer?

Well, it'll go a little something like this:

Junior: Daddy! I don't want to root for someone like Bonds, a known steroid user.
You: Junior, ya know that Andy Pettite jersey you own? Remember when you cheered Jason Giambi's monster home runs? Well junior, viva Barry Bonds' Yankee career, and viva los steroids!

But Devo, we're the Yankees! Pride! Power! Pinstripes! Tradition! We're the New York Yankees!

To you, ya uppity douchebag, I present Ms. Suzyn Waldman:

And I'm not saying that one moment can ruin someone's career, but Google "Suzyn Waldman." 75% of what you're going to find is related to that date rape of a moment in Yankee history.

Wednesday Night Mahatma

This is pretty long so get ya popcorn ready!

Mahatma’s Lucky 13 Power Rankings:

1) Dallas Cowboys (3-0) – The class of the NFL
2) New York Giants (3-0) – Slopped and slathered their way to beat a winless club but still the champs.
3) Philadelphia Eagles (2-1) – If only the playoffs started in September.
4) Denver Broncos (3-0) – Are they really the best team in the AFC?
5) Buffalo Bills (3-0) – Beating the Raiders at HOME is indeed quite impressive.
5) Tennessee Titans (3-0) – Incredible defense and boring offense. Can you say 1st round playoff loss?
6) Green Bay Packers (2-1) – Paging Fantasy Hall of Famer Ryan Grant?
7) Baltimore Ravens (2-0) – Sure they’ve beaten two winless teams, but they still dominated both of them.
8) San Diego Chargers (1-2) – Are they as good as their Monday night showing?
9) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-1) – The Bucs have an offense?
10) Pittsburgh Steelers (2-1) – Look Ma, No coaching!
11) Washington Redskins (2-1) – Would be a big story if they weren’t in the NFC East
12) New England Patriots (2-1) – Served. Hard.
13) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2) – Apparently still have a running game

Random Thoughts:

I think John and AL were saying TO is pissed he only caught two balls or whatever. Hmm. I don’t think Cowboys care as long as he's doing things like running down field to catch Nick Collins from behind and saving what could have been an interception return for a TD or blasting 50 yards down the field to get in two blocks to free Felix Jones on his 60 yard TD run. I don't really care what kind of face he's making on the sideline, he's giving maximum effort on the field even when he's not getting the ball.

Speaking of which, anyone see Randy Moss?

I guess Ronnie Brown’s knee is healed? Heck of a performance but an even better game plan and a spectacularly called game by offensive coordinator, Dan Henning. This guy couldn’t coach his way out of a paper bag in Carolina but now he dethroned (and quite possibly de-cherried) “defensive” genius Bill Belichick. I loved the way he was able to build plays off one another. This is what offensive coordinators should do. As opposed to say Steeler Offensive coordinator, Bruce Arians who still has yet to buy a clue. Ah, the randomness of football.

Joey Porter is still in the league? He’ll surprise you once a season with a 3 sack performance but don’t worry he will revert back to overrated form next week.

It’s good to know the fine people of Foxboro had better things to do than watch their team lose to the Dolphins especially early in the 4th quarter.

Said Ellis Hobbs:

"It doesn't hurt," said Hobbs. "It amazes me, amazes me, how people react. You would think that this organization hasn't won as much as they've won and hasn't been successful in the years that they have. "Expectations are that high that we're not allowed a bad game or something like that. How many times has somebody had a bad day at the office? How many times has somebody missed a deadline and not gotten in the paper? Missing whatever, forgetting to fix their kids' lunch?"

Diehards yo.

What’s dropping faster than shares in Merrill Lynch? The Packers defense which just lost Al Harris for the season. Having him does a lot of things for that defense and now

Dallas still won’t win the Superbowl with Tony Romo. The guy is a walking turnover machine and just is a complete dumbass back there. Sure he looks great when he has time but so does Tyler Thigpen for petes sake.

Someone get Carson Palmer a Rolex to help with his clock management. Didn’t Eli Manning do some shitty watch commercials and then win the Superbowl? Maybe Choko-Ono can do the same?

Didn’t the Bears have a good defense once? When Brian Griese serves you it’s time to go back to the Ol’ Drawing Board.

Can someone please enlighten me on how the Bills are for real? Beat a beat up Seahawk team without any receivers, beat up Jag team with no OL and beat the Raiders at home? Let them beat either the Jets or the Patriots and THEN I’ll hold credence to this. Until than, NO GOAL!

St. Louis is now going to Trent Green to start for Marc Bulger. There once was a time when Marc Bulger was an elite QB. Now with crap O-Line he’s a bum. The same thing happens to guys like David Carr who are now so completely broken and have resorted to having the happy feet in the pocket routine. Now St. Louis will draft one of Matthew Stafford, Tim Tebow and subject them to the same nonsense while Bulger will get cut and go backup somewhere next season and do well.

Reggie Bush is another example of a player not being used to his strengths. Okay, he can’t run between the tackles but not everyone is Marion Barber. Continue to get him out in space and the media idiots won’t be yelling bust. The same thing will continue to happen as we see more of these hybrid athletes (qbs/wr/rbs) coming up from college due to the wide adaption of the spread offense in college. The reality is that there is no one better in space than Reggie Bush.

I don’t believe that the Denver Broncos can continue to score 30+ points a game. They also have one of the worst front seven units in all of football.

Matt Ryan threw the prettiest long ball in Atlanta since the days of Chris Chandler. Remember when Ron Mexico was throwing footballs? Ryan will be a good one for a long time.

Colts remain winless in their new stadium. I guess pumping in the crowd noise only worked in their old stadium which isn’t as cavernous as their new billionaire oil company field or where they play.

He’s still in the league part II of the Week:
Jeramy Stevens? Well done on your suck-it celebration. That was cool about 10 years ago in WRESTLING. Loser.

NFL is run by Gamblers of the Week:
Lane Kiffin. Was he giving the game away to get fired? Oakland hasn’t been used to winning so they promptly gave away a 16-7 lead. Oops

On the Clock of the Week:
Kansas City/Detroit/St Louis. Seriously all of them are awful. I mean really awful.

Idiot Fan of the Week:
So after watching my team get owned, I take Brooklyn Yinzer (the bastard offspring of BH and Yinzer obviously) and go to one of the local water holes in the area. I place we will refer to as Jerome Woods, to protect the innocent. Anyway so this clown rolls in with his Romo Cowboys 3rd Jersey. Long blond hick hair and of course his lucky uh football? Basically picture a Harley guy with a jean jacking (?) replacing his biker jacket. Anyway, the clown manages to imitate Romo on every play at the bar including dropping back, scrambling and rolling out. So Romo is back to pass well than so is Hick. He even fake throws his football a bar with people around him. Look I’m all about passionate fans but seriously dude is like 33 and pretending to be me when I was 5. Not to mention the whole YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! thing. It's times like this I wish I had an Iphone.

Coaching Follies of the week:

Remember a time when Tom Coughlin was dead man walking and Marvin Lewis was the next great coach in the league. Sunday proved how quickly things can change:
In case you forgot, the Bungs are set up at the Giants 12 with what 30 seconds to go with a timeout. Palmer barks out his play and wastes about 20 seconds in the process. Shouldn’t Lewis tell his “All-Pro” QB to not dick around calling plays? Pretty soon, they are on the Giant 3 and THEN call a timeout with 4 seconds left.

Wouldn’t have been better to have call a timeout and then use that 30 seconds to have run 3+ plays and then spike the ball?

All in all it was the difference between 20 yard field goal and a 29 yard field goal. Is that worth 20 seconds? Moreover, why not pull a Shanahan and go for it. I mean look you are the Bungles. Go try for the win once in a while. Your offensive was moving the ball and your choking dog QB was actually making plays. How come Shanahan has more faith in Cutler than Lewis does with Palmer? Lewis goes for the tie and then proceeds to lose in OT like we all thought he would.

Joke Coaching of the Week:

Speaking of poor coaching, the problem with the whole Steelers offensive line isn’t as cut and dry like the O-Line blows. In fact, it’s nice to finally see that people are realizing that this O-Line blows amongst the media channels after this line has significantly declined for the past 4 seasons. The root of the problem however extends to the coaching/front office. Within the realm of reason that Egos are wildly apparent among the players but let’s not ignore the fact is it’s involved with the coaching too. Some coaches seem to insist on proving to the world that their scheme works and will repeatedly keep doing the same god damn thing just for the sake of showing everyone AH HA see I can do this. This results in lot of the “Do what we do” mantra and the old round hole square peg conundrum and a lack of changing overall tactics. There never was a Plan B. There is a growing concern in Steeltown that there NEVER seems to be a plan B especially offensively where Tomlin is way more hands off being how it isn’t his expertise. The 3 step drops were absent. As were the swing passes to the hb. The quick seemers to the TEs worked too well that they stopped running them from midway through the 1st quarter to the last drive in the 4th. Where other coordinators run plays and then logically build off them (see Dan Henning vs. Patriots) Bruce Arians was entirely too concerned with running his 20 yard fly routes and sticking with his rigid scheme which doesn’t really work when his QB had 2 seconds to get rid of the football. There is a school of coaching here where the OC either puts players in position while utilizing what they do well. Others like Airhead Arians have a rigid system that will work once the players commit and play under it. That system was made before any consideration to the particular players' skillsets and thus doesn’t take advantage. At ALL.

What I’m watching in College Football this weekend:

REALLY bad weekend but that’s cool. We can actually use Saturday to clean our apartments and spend some quality time with our significant others (hello on demand!) but overall a really CRAP week. Here’s some matches that interest me.

1) Alabama @ Georgia – Once again the best game of the week is on ESPN as opposed to “Saturday Night Football.”

2) Illinois @ Penn State – Penn State will likely win the Big “joke” 10 by default. I think the nation is tired of OSU.

3) TCU @ Oklahoma – I still haven’t paid attention to Oklahoma even though they are #2.

4) USC @ Oregon State – Thursday, 9pm – is this even fair?

Johan Does it Again...

In the beginning of the season, a fan watches a ballgame in order to relax, so they can stop thinking about the real world, to remind them that summer is on its way. If your team is in contention by the time September rolls around, all of that relaxation is gone. If your team is the Mets, it almost stops being fun. Don't get me wrong, I still love baseball and I still love the Mets, but man, I would be breathing a lot easier and my nails would be a lot longer if they didn't make it so hard on themselves. So, with last night's win, the Mets remain 1 game up in the Wild Card lead and moved to 1.5 games in back of the Phillies in the NL East race. With 5 measly games remaining, this is absolutely going to come down to the wire.
I just wish Johan could pitch every game. The man has been so reliable that he has not lost in the second half at all. Last night he went 8 innings, had 10 strikeouts, 125 pitches (a career high) and a key broken bat ground ball that let the Mets back in the game. With the team down 2-0, Nick Evans was at first base and Santana had his bizarre hit. The hit broke the bat and sent both ball and bat towards the second baseman. The ball and broken bat then collided, making any play impossible. A key walk to Luis Castillo (stop booing him) followed to load the bases. David Wright then came up with a clutch two run hit that tied the game. Later on, in the 6th inning, the Mets scored 4 more times to take the lead for good. Three of those runs came on Jose Reyes' 200th hit of the season, a triple. Reyes is now the 2nd Met ever (Lance Johnson) to have 200 or more hits in one season. Not too shabby. Feliciano and Ayala combined to finish of a scoreless ninth. If only games like this were the rule instead of the exception to the rule. Tonight, Ollie Perez will go against (shudder) Carlos Zambrano as the Mets try to take one more from the Cubs in order to secure the Wild Card.
In other news, it has been reported that Omar Minaya will get a 4 year contract extension as the GM when the season's over. If this is true, it confuses me. The season is not yet over. The Mets are not yet in the playoffs. If they don't make the playoffs, the blame will fall on the bullpen, but shouldn't some of the blame fall on the man who built the bullpen?? I'm not giving up or anything, but it just seems that this contract extension is a little premature.
Speaking of the bullpen, there are some interesting and disheartening stats out about those boys. If games ended in the 6th inning, the Mets would be ahead by 10.5 games in the NL East. If games ended in the 8th inning, the Mets would still have a 5.5 game lead in the NL East. Damn that 9th inning.
Sunday is the last game of the regular season and therefore the last regular season game at Shea. The tribute they will have after the game will be nothing compared to the one at Yankee Stadium, which is appropriate. However, it will include Mike Piazza, Tom Seaver, Ron Darling, Keith Hernandez, Robin Ventura, Edgardo Alfonzo, and many others. Dwight Gooden is even rumored to be on the list. I am very very excited about this, but I hope that a) their post-season status is already decided or b) that the Mets will be able to clinch a berth that day, because I feel like this celebration will be completely ruined if the Mets are eliminated on the last day of the season ala 2007. Fingers crossed.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

White Boy's Farewell to NYC Baseball as We Know It: The Diary

By White Boy South Bronx

This past Thursday I said goodbye to the two NY baseball stadiums on the same day.

But White Boy, the Mets were playing the Nats in DC that night. What, are you playing softball at Shea or something?

Actually, rhetorical-question-asker, I did. My dad's boy has an in at Shea which confidentiality dictates that I not divulge. So my dad and his boys and I played a softball tournament at Shea and then I went right back to the Bronx to attend my final game ever at the Stadium. Here is a diary of my long afternoon's journey into night......

4:oo pm I arrive at the diamond club entrance where a huge white dude asks in a angry tone "Can I help you?" I almost nervously forgot I was supposed to say "Dennis softball game." But after nearly shitting myself, I remember to say this and a far less intimidating short dude smiles and shows me how to get onto the field at Shea.

4:10 Holy shit!!!! I am walking on the field at Shea!!!! This is incredible. Being the amazingly cool guy that I am, I instantly sprint towards the 338 sign and do my best Endy Chavez impression, which is to say a rather pathetic one. (Editor's note: Probably better than your Yadier Molina impression.)

4:50 It is finally my turn to play. The set up was like the final 4 in the NCAA tournament. Two teams play for 5 innings and then that team plays the winner of the next game.

5:00 Wow, it would have been bizarre seeing Shea, except that I went to a bunch of games during the Mets not-so-glory years in the mid-90's. Also bizzare, I am playing RF at Shea Stadium.

5:15 Top of the third inning. Bases jacked and 2 outs. I am put in right field either because of my rocket arm. Or maybe for the same reason everyone was put there when we were 7; I'm a horrendous fielder. I kept praying Please don't hit the ball to me! Dammit!! It is coming towards me and sinking fast. I run as fast as I can, which is to say really slowly, reach my glove down and to my utter shock and delight the ball is there. Everybody on my team congratulates me, I had saved 3 + runs with a web gem! I'm a hero to half of the Baby Boomers on Long Island!

5:45 After helping our team win by getting 3 hard singles and scoring a run, I say to my Dad, I feel like Luis Sojo. We had three high school baseball superstars from my graduating class, and a guy who was 6'5, 250 pounds of muscle and me, the guy who was thrilled to get three hard singles and score 3 runs. We won the tournament.

6:15 I say an unemotional farewell to the most aesthetically nauseating sports venue this side of Nassau coliseum and head towards the 7 train to head up to the cathedral. BIG GAME AT THE BRONX TONITE!!!!!
7:20 shit shit shit!!!! I left my phone charger in the bag I left with my dad. I now will be an hour late to the game because I have to buy a freakin charger on 42nd street. On the plus side, this might be the only thing you can buy on 42nd street that doesn't come with a free STD. (What a terrific audience. Try the shrimp.)

8:00 Ahh, time for meaningless September baseball. (Editor's note: Unlike your softball game?) As a Yankee fan I am used to this but in a completely different way. Usually we have a playoff spot instead of tee times clinched by now. Ugh. I did get a tad wistful, however, upon seeing one last view into the stadium from the elevated 4 train.

8:20 Abreu hits a mammoth home run to the right field bleachers which I'm told was already his 2nd of the night. Ah, the solo home run, a favorite of the 08 Yanks. The stadium erupts like this is game 7 of the WS, which pisses me off. I tried to tell the crowd that I won the only meaningful game played today. They quickly tell me to fuck off.

8:45 Javier "I have lots of talent so teams always take a flyer on me even though I suck" Vazquez was predictably lit up allowing 4 earned over 3.2 innings. So far only Muss pitching great and Jeter getting an RBI infield single are making this game tolerable.

9:15 A-Rod gets a run home on a double-play ball that went through the wickets of Juan Uribe. Clutch Alex, clutch. 8-1 Yanks, as if it matters.

9:45 With the game nearly deadlocked at 9-1, I begin to think about the Jeffery Maier game and being in the RF bleachers during game 6 of the '96 Series and going nuts, almost knocking over my dad's cigar (I later found our he made a big bet on the yanks winning the series, converting him to a Yankee fan).

10:15 Despite Jeter being lifted for the immortal Cody Ransom, we stuck around till the end and were rewarded by seeing prospect Humbero Sanchez's debut. He looked real good against the Chisox triple A brigade. Could he be next year's Ian Kennedy? Only time will tell.

-White Boy South Bronx

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Nice Catch Hayes, Don't Ever F$!kin Do It Again: A Giants/Bengals Recap

Watching this game from Section 327, I couldn't help but think of Lou Brown in Major League talking to Willie Mays Hayes after Hayes makes a fundamentally awful catch in their first game-Good win Blue, don't ever fuckin' do it again. Thus, let us call games like this, when your team wins but gives a horrible showing a "Lou Brown" game.


Look, I'm not going to get on the coaching staff real bad for calling a pass versus a run; a play call is only as good as its effectiveness. But I will get on the coaching staff for the TYPE of runs and passes called. Kevin Gilbride had a hard-on for running Jacobs wide and having Eli throw short. When you have short yardage and a running back as big as a linebacker, is it asking too much to have him simply run up the middle? It's a simple philosophy, and it's going to work more than it's going to fail.

And what's the deal with the passing plays? Last week Eli was only throwing deep balls. This week he was only throwing short passes. Notonly were the receivers, in a tribute to the Jim Fassel era, not getting open. Their routes only took them 8-10 yards downfield. Let's not confuse this week's performance with the Rams game, where Eli refused to throw a ball 8-10 yards down the field and only threw passes of the 30-40 yard variety. Is it asking too much to find a happy medium? At least they opened it up towards the end of the 4th quarter and let Eli go long.

Speaking of the passing game, have I mentioned how much I like Steve Smith and Domenik Hixon? These guys simply don't miss passes that are thrown near them. There's not much more that you can ask out of 3rd and 4th receivers with a combined 3 years of experience. In time, these guys will be starters. Hopefully in the Meadowlands.

And Hixon is a stud returning punts. He usually makes the first guy miss, generally has a return of 30+ yards per game, and is going to break one within the next 4-5 games.

But it was a bizarre game for the running backs. Jacobs didn't have any long runs, but he did make opponents pay with his shoulder whenever they tried to take him down. One thing that I've come to accept with the Giants running game: Derrick Ward isn't a sexy back. He doesn't run people over like Jacobs and he doesn't run by people like Bradshaw. But he breaks enough tackles and makes enough people miss that he should be touching the ball about 10 times per game. Bradshaw may get screwed in the long run, but Ward is too valuable running, blocking and catching screens to not see action. That said, the Giants may have to trade Ward this off season for cap reasons if Jacobs gets a deserved and expected lucrative contract extension.

It was basically a tale of two O-Lines. They looked great pass blocking, giving Eli all the time he needed as the Bengals didn't record a sack and maybe hit Eli 3-4 times all game. Equally important, there were no holding or motion penalties on the O-Line. But next time, it would be great if they could open up a few holes for Earth Wind & Fire.


Didn't you used to be the Giants Defense?

A weird game for the defense. First of all, the stat sheet shows that the front 4 pressured Palmer all day, registering 6 sacks and helping Devo's Dumbasses secure a victory over Mahatma's Carson's Vagina. And this is good and well, but for a game with six sacks, it sure seemed like Palmer had time to deliver most of his passes. Of course, it helped that the Bungles stole the 2006 Washington playbook, allowing Carson Palmer to be Mark Brunell, spending most of his day throwing short, high percentage passes. To the Giants credit, they caught on to the wide receiver screens by the end and started stopping them for a loss. Unfortunately, by this time, T.J Douchemanzadeh had torched our defense. 12 catches by an opposing WR is never a good thing, but I'll say this much: better him than Ochenta y Cinco. (THAT is how you say 85 in Spanish, not Ocho Cinco. As someone who took Spanish in high school and can ask for the bathroom and not much else, even I'm offended by Johnson's stupidity.)

The defense came out of the gate on a mission and shut down the Bengals on their first series, getting to Palmer for two of the six sacks. And then they didn't step up until Coach Madison made a solid pass defense on 3rd down in OT.

One interesting thing to take out of this game is three sacks by Cofield, Robbins, and Kiwanuka, with one apiece. Clearly, teams are starting to gameplan for Tuck the way that they used to plan for Strahan. When this happens, the rest of the line will benefit, as they are each too talented in their own right not to. The theme of this story, and for that matter, the '08 season, is that the Giants' D Line is going to be very difficult to game plan against, even when the team sleepwalks through the game. And that brings us to...

The Negatives:
Remember when you guys used to score touchdowns in the red zone? Praise Allah for that 4th quarter TD to Boss. Not only did it save the game, but it was the first time all year that Eli was able to throw a short touchdown pass. The red zone offense has been pretty bad so far this year. And the blame for this goes to everyone, from the play calling, instructing Jacobs to run wide from the 2 yard line to Eli not finding receivers in the end zone. That said, the Giants have a bye week and 3 games against relatively lousy teams in which to find their mojo.

Defense- SUS ownership rights to the SUS reader who can identify the dude in the Giants secondary with an interception this season...Give up? The answer is no one. The only pick this year has come courtesy of Justin Tuck. While the '08 edition of the secondary is probably one of the best since Sehorn was healthy, it still is going to have to make plays and pick of a pass every once in a while in order to change the momentum of the game. That said, the secondary is very good at making tackles, something that certainly can not be said about previous editions of the G-Men secondary.

And lastly...Great, the Giants won. Seriously, until style points become playoff position tiebreakers, the only thing that matters in September is staying healthy and getting wins. But one thing I had in common with Big Blue on Sunday was that we both looked like we didn't care about the game and couldn't wait for it to be over. I had a meal of Indian food at 330am after a night of drinking. What was your excuse Big Blue?

Top 10 things not said by John Sterling and Michael Kay in introducing ex-Yankee greats on this THE LAST NIGHT OF YANKEE STADIUM

10. This man was widely regarded as one of the all time great contact hitters, but many of you remember him as the man who once drank 64 beers on a cross country flight...Wade Boggs!

9. This man had one of the greatest moments in Yankee/Red Sox history until the ultimate 2004 collapse made it all moot. After his home run, one fateful game of pickup basketball made it possible for New Yorkers to find a target for all of their pent up anger...Aaron Boone!

8. Considered to have speed matched only by his selfishness, his greatest contributions to the Yankees occurred in 2007 when he, as a Mets assistant coach, almost singlehandedly ruined Jose Reyes' career...Rickey Henderson!

7. This man made a post-baseball career out of being stupid enough to create lovable sayings that make no sense...Yogi Berra!

6. Some would call this man a born winner and leader who helped return the Yankees to glory. I like to think of him the best masturbator the Mets' Bullpen ever saw...David Cone!

5. These next two Yankees were not great, but in fact represented the low point in the Steinbrenner Era. They are here tonight because a security guard was not doing his job...Alvaro Espinosa and Mel Hall!

4. Let's give a big FU to the Mets by welcoming back 2nd baseman, Willie Randolph!

3. Next, the man who so loved being a Yankee that in 1998, he decided to sign with the Yankees over the Red Sox because the Yankees offered more money...Bernie Williams!

2. This man is considered to be a true Yankee, part of the glory years, even though one has to look hard to find more than one or two big playoff moments associated with this man...Jorge Posada!

1. The man responsible for this being the last game in Yankee Stadium history...Joe Girardi!