SHMUCKS PICKS (1-1)

For those of you who might have known, had Brett Favre listened to the commissioner and decided to stay semi-retired for a few weeks longer he could have been dressing up for the Massholes instead of gang green. Favre probably is kicking himself right now as he could have had the opportunity to play with Randy Moss and have a better shot at winning another superbowl. Oh well, just another setback for New England (I’m giddy with joy) and another step closer for the Jets.



NEW YORK JETS (-1.5) vs. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS –

If you’re a Jet fan you know this game is huge. Tom Brady is done; the X factor is gone for the season leaving an open door for the Jets to take the division. This could be a major power shift in the AFC East if the Jets can win. But even with Matt Cassel starting at QB this won’t be an easy contest for the Jets. They barely hung on last week to beat Miami and that’s nothing to be positive about. With Brady out the Patriots defense knows they have to step it up and even though their numbers don’t show it, they are still considered to be a legitimate defense in the NFL.

But the Patriots have never faced a Jets team with a quarterback who can spread the field. This is a big test for Favre and the offense. Will he know 85% of the playbook by Sunday? Can the offensive line match up against one of the best front 7 in the league?

The Jets need to contain the Patriots running game and put a lot of pressure on Cassel and force him to make mistakes. Revis had a great game last week shutting down Ted “I’m overrated” Ginn Jr but will need to be absolutely perfect against Moss.

This game will be decided by experience and overall execution. Jets are still establishing themselves as a team and have a real test to overcome tomorrow. Patriots need to play their game and avoid making mistakes early. Cassell needs to be effective and manage and not take chances. Belichek is the smartest coach in the NFL for a reason and he will most certainly have his team ready. But I’m going out on a limb here and I think they’re going to struggle. The Jets run defense was outstanding last week and if they can play with that same mentality they are going to make Cassell beat them in the air and I don’t think he can do it.

New York Jets 20, New England Patriots 16



CAROLINA PANTHERS (-3) vs. CHICAGO BEARS –

Both these teams beat 2 of the top 3 ball clubs in the AFC in my opinion, Colts and Chargers. Chicago was most surprising considering they spent little in free agency acquiring an elite quarterback, like Favre, or wide receiver help (Marty Booker is not a #1 WR, nor was he when he was a Bear 5 years ago). But the Bears seemed to have rediscovered the dynamic defense they had a few years back as they made Peyton look average.

Jake Delhomme proved that even after reconstructive shoulder surgery he’s still an above average quarterback (he didn’t suffer from weak-arm Pennington syndrome). Even without Steve Smith he was able to move the ball down the field and throw the game winning touchdown pass with just seconds left.

Both teams showed solid running games and the ability to move the ball. This game to me seems more like a defensive slugfest. Turnovers are going to decide this game. Panthers have the edge in my opinion. Delhomme is a better quarterback and they have more weapons on offense than the Bears do. The bears will rely on their defense to help them win this game but they will fall short

Carolina Panthers 23, Chicago 17

White Boy's Picks Week 2: NFC East style (1-1)

New York Giants (-8.5) at St. Louis Rams

Nothing upsets me more than when the Giants are 7 points or more favorites. This team has historically been incredible as dogs and terrible as huge favorites. See Superbowl 42 and any home game against the Falcons without Vick starting at QB as contrasting examples. The Rams could not have looked worse on either side of the ball Sunday at the Illadelph. Apparently Philly has some great young receiver name Jackson who already absolutely terrifies me (more on them soon). He torched the Rams horrendous D as did Westbrook and Donovan. I expect Eli and Plax to do more of the same. Eli has been phenomenal in domes in his career and should have a field day against the Rams. However, I am a little bit worried about the Bulger, Holt and Steven Jackson trio having a big day against a solid but no longer Superbowl caliber defense. I would expect the Giants to win by about 9 or 10 points in a high scoring game. Still, I worry about complacency from the champs against an inferior opponent. THE PICK: GIANTS (31-21)

Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys (-6.5)

Ah, the twice a year affair when White Boy roots for injuries (don't get all moralistic and holier than thou about this Tirico, I don't really mean it). Since both of these teams can't lose this week; I will have to hope at least 1 of them does (if it's a tie game I won't be happy.) The Eagles looked more than impressive Sunday disposing of a horrendous Rams defense and stifling a fairly talented Rams offense. Jim Johnson continues to be a phenomenal coordinator and seems to know how to handle Dallas's insanely talented offense. Dallas also was dominant on both sides of the ball against a talented (offensively), though seemingly unprepared to play, Browns club in week 1. However, as the G-men demonstrated in the playoffs last year, Dallas has trouble beating physical defenses and winning low scoring games. Expect Philadelphia to keep this game extremely close if not win it outright. I would say that I expect this to be a 4-point game either way but I won't be a pussy about it…… THE PICK: EAGLES (21-17 [that score look familiar Dallas fans] )

Mahatma’s "I almost forgot to do these" Picks (1-1)

So thanks to the impotent Bungle offense, I lost last week. Have I mentioned I hate the Bengals?

Anyway, here’s some other picks to lose money off of.

Buffalo Bills @ Jacksonville Jaguars (-6)

Everyone is on Buffalo’s jock after the thorough whooping they gave the Seattle Seahawks but really we can’t take much stock in the first game of a season where an opponent has to fly cross country to play a team they know nothing about. Bills though looked impressive and will have a much stiffer test as they play the Jags this week. The Jags got "outphysicaled" last week and in the process are now without 4 of their top 9 linemen. For a team that’s physical up front, that’s not good.

Buffalo’s D is much improved from a year ago and now has ex Jagoff, Marcus “tiny” Stroud. Stroud should enjoy facing back up guards and this should only open things up for the defense. David “stop calling me Leftwich” Garrard won’t be able to rely on his running game and this week he can’t rely much on his passing game as The Jaguars are also thin at wide receiver with injuries to Dennis “Drop” Northcutt and Troy “I’m bad” Williamson and Reggie “Being the best receiver on this team is like being the smartest kid with down syndrome” Williams but hey at least Jerry “I was awesome in a 4 game stretch in 2004” Porter should be back.

The Jags got tore up through the ground last week and have an even stiffer test against Marshawn “GAWD” Lynch. I fully expect Jacksonville to rebound in that department but I really like Buffalo here. At full strength this is another story but with so many injuries, Buffalo should gut this out with a late field goal. Bills also have the best special teams in the league.

Buffalo – 23

Jacksonville - 20

Pittsburgh Steelers (+6) @ Cleveland Brown

Everything looks too good about this game that even ESPN is hyping the Steelers up as the de-facto AFC favorites which is hilarious because they thought the Steelers wouldn’t even make the playoffs a week ago. The thing about hype is that the Steelers always played horrendously being the hunted.

Can the Browns take advantage? Not likely. They are exceptionally banged up all over with significant injuries to the secondary. Heck they have even placed calls to White Boy to utilize his 7.5 40 speed. Unfortunately, White Boy had a Yankee game to watch so he declined. Sad to say, this secondary is already bad to begin with so I expect the Steelers to do the exact opposite and run the football. That will show them!

Cleveland is already talking about this being a playoff game so I expect them to come out firing and grab an early lead. Steelers will get down and than go no huddle and shit all over the Stains. Steelers come back and win but Cleveland covers. Pittsburgh has won the last 9 over the Browns.

Pittsburgh - 27

Cleveland - 23

Week 2 Picks, A Brooklyn Hillbilly Production

Im 2-0. Start hatin, haters!

Good thing he wears gloves, wouldnt want his hands to get cold. Still the best fan outfit ever.

San Diego(-1) at Denver (O/U 45.5):
Let me say this, the Chargers MUST win this game, they can't afford to have shitty starts in consecutive seasons. Is it more important to win at the end of the year? Sure, but falling two games back to Denver in the division will have severe consequences this year. The Broncos looked great last week, and Cutler seems to be living up to the hype, for one week at least. The Chargers cant count on this Broncos team to self-destruct this season, and may have to get used to the sight of Denver ahead of them in the standings.

Now, that being said, Denver scored a grand total of 6 points in games against the Chargers last year, compared to 64 for San Diegans. The spread wont be so great this year, but you have to think the Chargers are gonna put up 35 against the Broncos in one of their games this year. I don't think this will be the one. The Mile High advantage, plus the fact that Shawn Merriman joins Tiger Woods and Tom Brady on the couch will limit the Chargers ability to pressure Cutler, allowing him to gain another week of experience and about 200 yards with 2 TDs. LT and Rivers still play for the Chargers, however, and will make their impression felt. I'm seeing a great game here, a nail-biter that goes to the last 3 minutes. The professional in me says the Chargers cover, but the sentimental side of me has the Broncos with the upset, 24-21.


Who wears short shorts? My starting fantasy tight end apparently.

New Orleans at Washington (Pick 'em, 41.5):
Obviously, the biggest news here is Marques Colston's injury. The second biggest news would be the Redskins coaching staff's apparent incompetence at life. You cant be too harsh on Zorn though, it was his first game as HC. But you would think he knows that with six minutes left in the game, you might need to try and win it. Regardless, 10 days to think over the loss and absorb criticism will leave this a stronger team. If Jason Campbell can figure out his teams offensive system that is.

Washington will try to win this game with Portis and Campbell not making mistakes while the D tries to shut down a less explosive New Orleans offense. I don't think this will happen. Reggie Bush seems to be coming into his own as a hybrid RB/WR(cant wait til hes listed as that in fantasy, he would become an instant top 5 pick), and Drew Brees will be his normal productive self. I don't like the Saints to have a great game, but the Skins will dig a bit deeper hole for themselves. I see the Saints pulling this one out, at 20-14.

I have nothing to add, this is just a great picture.

Immigration is just not working, they'll let anyone in

I think David Ortiz's english has gotten progressively worse. That was funnier to watch than Papelbon being his eccentric self.

Devo's Picks Pt. 1 (1-1)

(Home team in CAPS)

Green Bay (-3) over DETROIT

Lost in the Aaron Rodgers/Brett "Gunslinger" Favre shuffle is this: Green Bay had a pretty damn good all around team last year. Sure Brett Favre had his best season in years, but between Ryan Grant, Aaron Kampman, Al Harris and Charles Woodson among others, Green Bay also had their best team around Favre in years. Lest we forget, Brett Favre was one of the worst players on the field against the Giants last January. I'm not saying that Aaron Rodgers would have led the Pack to the Super Bowl, just that they are certainly a quality team without the Gunslinger. As long as Aaron Rodgers is decent, and I think he will be, this team will be fine. Oh, and Detroit? Yeah, right.
Green Bay 24 Detroit 13

Hey ESPN guys, learn English!

A few minutes ago, I heard Darren say something about how the Steelers are going to "outphysical" their opponent this week.

Is it asking too much of self-appointed professional wordsmith Darren Woodson to not make up his own words? Hey Darren, I don't have any degrees from the prestigious Bristol University, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be difficult for the Steelers to "out-physical" anyone.

Devo, Pittsburgh looked pretty good last week, they can definitely do it again.

Agreed, the Steelers are a good football team, but there is a 0% chance that they will "outphysical" Cleveland. Why? BECAUSE 'OUTPHYSICAL' IS SIMPLY POOR ENGLISH!!! When someone outlasts another team, they last longer than said team. The verb "to last" is an actual verb. Thus, to outphysical some team implies that 'to physical' is a verb. Well, I'm not saying that Darren Woodson (who may not have coined the term, but certainly used it 5 minutes ago) is making up words; but I am offering 600 shares of stock in Straight Up Sports Inc. to anyone who can find the verb 'to physical' in a dictionary.

And no, the Urban Dictionary doesn't count.

What really grinds my gears: some things that are annoying me in the world of sports and a bonus anti-rant

1) People like Mike Tirico, who have no team allegiance, who think you can't be happy about Brady's injury: Look, as a fan of an NFC team who beat a healthy Patriots team in the Super Bowl; I can't say I was particularly giddy that Brady got hurt. My animosity towards him has greatly been alleviated since that wonderful day in early February. However, Steelers and Jets fans are perfectly within their rights to be thrilled about Brady's injury. Brady is not dead, his little girl is totally healthy, he has more money than any of us could dream of having, and he has a model girlfriend. Oh and he has 3 rings too. Furthermore, his injury was not to the brain, neck or spine; areas that would seriously impact his daily functioning and life after football. If any of these aforementioned traumas afflicted the NFL's best player; I would feel truly bad for him. However, his injury will just force him to miss 1 NFL season. I don't understand why anyone is supposed to feel bad for him; that is, unless you are a Pats fan, Bill Bellicheck or owner Robert Kraft. Again, as a fan of an NFC East team; I will somewhat miss watching the Michael Jordan of the NFL on a regular basis. However, I would be in heaven if I was a Jets or Steelers fan right now. Lastly, I am sick of these media types who have lost their sports souls by entering into broadcasting and journalism. I can somewhat tolerate this but not when you get on your high horses and act like sports fandom requires the same level of manners, cordiality and love for your fellow man/woman that real life does. Sports is a vehicle for us diehards to have a catharsis and get away from our daily lives and concerns. It allows us to get out our more primodial urges. We don't wish real harm on these athletes; we just want our teams to win badly ( at least us somewhat normal diehards). Please understand this and stop being high and mighty about something that is just for fun.

2) Ocho Cinco mania- This was cute when his name was still Chad Johnson and when he actually was a dominant receiver. The fact is, outside of a great regular season in 2005; Ocho Cinco has been all talk and no walk. He runs his mouth every week and then gets shut down by the NFL's elite and good corners. Last week he had 1 catch as his offense was abysmal while taking on an old Raven's defense. I don't even mind that he changed his name; I just wish the media, have that read espn, would stop interviewing him all the time as if he was a legitimate superstar like Peyton, LDT or TO.

3) Overreacting to Week 1: well in most cases- Obviously the Patriots and Chargers fans have reason to be sick over the events of week 1. The Pats lost Brady for the year and the Bolts lost its best, if not roid enhanced, defensive player Shawn "Lights Out" Merriman. However, no other team, with the exception of possibly the Jaguars;who are losing Offensive Lineman like Mcain will lose swing voters in the election, have any real reason to be overly concerned after 1 week. Sure the Seahawks and Browns looked horrendous in ugly losses to the Bills and Cowboys respectively and clearly the Skin's coach has not mastered the concept of running a hurry up offense down 2 possessions in the game's waning moments. However, you don't have any idea how most teams will fare during the remaining 16 weeks of play. If the Browns beat the Steelers in the the Burgh this weekend and the Rams beat the champs in STL this weekend; then what was the all the hysteria from Browns and Rams nation (are there any Ram's fans?) in week 1 for? (if the latter happens I will be muy not happy)

4) Yankees quitting- I will be the first to admit I am a very spoiled Yankees fan. I consider this team, that will finish up with 83-85 wins, to be a pathetic group. This will be the first year since I started rooting for the Yanks that the club will not play baseball in October. However, it is more than a little irritating when I see the Blue Jays and Astros, who are as realistically out of it as the Yanks are, playing inspiring ball down the stretch. I blame Girardi and a band of lazy millionaires, I"m looking at you Cano and Abreu, for not even putting up a fight in this last month of the year. I am truly embarrassed to be a Yankee fan right now.

5) Anti-rant: Black dudes love my hat- I am not an Obama supporter because he is black, I am an Obama supporter because I agree with almost every position he espouses and because I believe he can fundamentally change politics in this country. However, I do like that when I'm in predominantly black neighborhoods like West Harlem and Morris Park in the Bronx, Black dudes either tell me directly hat they love my hat or give me a nod of approval as if to say; your pretty cool for a white dude from Long Island. I have enjoyed this, I won't pretend that I haven't.

Tuesday Was the Coolest Night Ever.

On Tuesday night, not only was I lucky enough to go to the Mets game, but I was able to STAND ON THE FIELD during the National Anthem. It was absolutely amazing and kind of a dream come true. It is also probably my last trip to Shea Stadium, so I think it was a hell of a way for me to say goodbye. Let me explain how this wonderful happening came to be:
A friend of mine is doing the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer and the Mets made a deal with the walkers: buy tickets for the September 9th Mets game against the Nationals for a discounted price and then you can sell them for however much people want to donate to the cause. I planned to go with a few friends when I heard the next exciting piece of news. The Mets invited the Avon ticket holders to wear pink and then the first 2000 fans would be allowed onto the warning track during the National Anthem. My friend Mike and I got there, waited on line, and as we filed around Shea Stadium, we got own personal view of the front of CitiField. Next, we saw the back of the famed Apple and waited to be let onto the warning track. Lucky for us, there was more. The next surprise was that about 100 or so of us would be out in centerfield during the Anthem in the formation of the Breast Cancer ribbon! It was completely surreal being led out onto the field. We were close to players as they did sprints and drills. Some of the other fans were yelling out to the players because it was so so so cool. It all went quickly and before I knew it, we were being escorted off the field and back into the real world...but not before I grabbed a piece of grass for myself.
To make things even better, the Mets won the game, which was a slugfest. There were four Met homeruns, including two from Carlos Delgado. I can't find any pictures of the ribbon other than the ones I have from being in it, but I will keep on looking.

One more thing, today is September 11th and the Mets have today off. In a post from the summer or spring, I mentioned that of all days, today would be a great day to have a ballgame (perhaps between the Mets and Yankees as suggested by Gary Cohen). Obviously, in the grand scheme of things, baseball doesn't mean much. However, if I remember correctly, baseball and other sports played an important part in healing the country's wounds after 9-11-01. I'm sure that later on I will be reading about how the Mets and Yankees spent their days paying respects to the site and the families, but today could have been a great event.
~MissMet

Hitler comes to the New Meadowlands

Elwood: New Jersey Nazis.
Jake: I hate New Jersey Nazis.


Football fans and Jewish groups are outraged over the prospect of a new Giants and Jets stadium being named for German insurer Allianz because of its Nazi ties in World War II.

The company insured the Auschwitz death camp and had a chief executive serving in Hitler's cabinet. The company is on the short list of those vying to slap their name on the Meadowlands stadium in New Jersey via a lucrative sponsorship deal.

The possibility of what some saw as a former Third Reich enabler getting its name on their ballpark has some Big Blue and Gang Green fans vowing boycott.

"I think it's terrible, but that's the mighty dollar," Giants fan Keith Hayes, 33, said of the name.

"It would be an insult," said Abe Foxman, national director of the Anti-Defamation League. "It's putting their name in lights for generations to come."

I have no standing to write about this, as I'm not Jewish, I'm like 50% German and I'm not a Giants or Jets fan, but I have a question: How do you insure a death camp? I mean if a guy falls off a roof and breaks his neck, why even file a claim? Leave it to the Germans, in the middle of the greatest single act of genocide in history to keep all the paperwork in order and make sure they have coverage. You gotta imagine theres a high premium on that policy though.

As for Allianz, Ive heard of bad insurance companies before, and even some evil ones, but these guys take the cake. All the gory details are here, but suffice it to say that they make your HMO look like the Red Cross. Apparently, Allianz said they were sorry and paid a bunch of money to...someone for their misdeeds.

Look, when its down to brass tacks, you cant hold corporations, especially insurance companies, to high standards(like not cooperating in genocide) because you will always be disappointed. I don't know what more they could do, cuz I know there are still Jewish people out there who wont drive German cars, so it obvious that some people just never let things go. I know the mantra is "Never Again", but c'mon, this is New York, the most Jewish city in the Western Hemisphere. I think this probably isn't a big deal, at least until the New York Luftwaffe and the New York Wehrmacht start playing there. Then its time to worry.

What the hell happened...

to Kerry Collins. I remember when he didn't look 54 and he was leading Penn State to Rose Bowls. Heck Favre looks younger.

Athletes We Wouldn't Piss On If They Were On Fire Part 3: The Devo Edition

Every child grows up worshiping athletes as their heroes only rivaled by their love of the Ninja Turtles. But you know what? Most of these children grow up to be bitter and jaded, learning to hate their opponents as much as they loved their childhood heroes. And thus, SUS brings you the third of a series, "Athletes We Wouldn't Piss On If They Were On Fire."

As for my athletes, they all run along the same basic theme: You can't get on a rival for beating your team, but you sure as hell can hate on those who are/were on your team and screw the team over along the way.

1. Jeremy Shockey

Let's just say that his nickname went from "Mancrush" to "He whose name we shall not speak of" quicker than you can say "18-1." When he was going great, he gave the Giants a swagger that was unmatched by very few New York teams. Giant fans looked past the fact that he was frequently injured and dropped passes when healthy because of his ability to catch a pass, break a tackle, and make Roy Williams and Brian Dawkins look like White Boy in coverage. A fair amount of Giant fans thought of him as our favorite player.

1 broken leg later, Shockey got offended when he wasn't treated like a part of the team during their Super Bowl run, nevermind the fact that EVERY NFL TEAM treats their injured players this way. Shockey decided to try and mess with the mojo of a team completing a magical Super Bowl run and vowed to make the 2008 season a living hell if left in New York. And for that, Jeremiah, I hope that you discover some new STD's on Bourbon Street the hard way.

2. Scott Gomez

What separates Scott Gomez from Bobby Holik, John McLean, and Bruce Driver? When the former went to the Rangers, he wasn't past his prime, handcuffing his new team with his contract. No, Gomez was coming off a '06-'07 playoffs where he was the best player on the team, a one man power play unit. As a rule, most offensive forwards get sick and tired of playing in Lamoriello's kingdom, looking for greener pastures elsewhere; yet most players who left the Devils in their prime managed to avoid going to the Devils' chief rival. Not Gomez, who destroyed the Devils in the 1st round last year.

Sidenote: Gomez loves the NYC nightlife so much that I'm shocked Drunk Athlete had no photos of him. Maybe that's because the Drunk Athlete photographers don't frequent the gay clubs.


3. Jason Giambi

The problem with the first two athletes is that they hurt my team by leaving in the peak of a promising career. The problem with Giambi? He continues to stay around and mess with the Yankees. As White Boy has consistently said, a .400+ on base percentage does very little if a) you're only a .250 hitter and b) it takes a few hours for you to advance to second base. Sometime around 2003, when Giambi was having a terrible October (Yup, he was a force for all of one Yankee season, 2002. Lest we forget, for most of the 2k3 playoffs, Giambi, Boone, and Soriano were fairly automatic outs.) Praise Allah that his contract is finally ending after this season.

Oh, and two things:

1. Any Yankee fan who claims that they never wanted Giambi on the team: Are you a liar or do you have an amazingly selective memory? Hindsight is 20/20, Tino was a decent hitter at best in 2k1, and Giambi was coming off an MVP season for the A's. To the common fan, it made perfect sense. To someone who had the sabermetric knowledge to foresee that this would be a bad move-get a life, nerd.

2. During the 2003 World Series, I created what became the Giambi Doctrine which has become prophetic. It reads as follows, The Yankees will never win a World Series with Jason Giambi. Call me Elijah, yo.

And lastly as I write this, Pettite was about to pick off Mike Napoli at first. Pettite threw over, Napoli started for 2nd, and Giambi threw the ball over Jeter's head such that Jeter jumped for it and Napoli slid in safe. And for the record, the same thing happened to Damon last inning and he got thrown out.

LOVE THEM YANKEES!!!

Wednesday Morning Mahatma

The opening day of the NFL season is an exciting time for everyone. The promise of a new season. The promise of a new beginning. The hope. The dreams. I don't know what I like most about it. Maybe it’s that moment of thought in every fan’s mind that this could be the season. With all 32 teams now relevant also it proves to be even more exciting time as fans and yinzers alike support their team to no ends. Everything has such a better feel too. The air is cleaner, the alcohol is tastier and the aura of optimism filters through out. Heck even I'm less bitter.

That being sad, Sunday was the definition of how a team’s seasons can turn on a dime and a reminder to us all that the season’s hopes can get flushed at the snap of the ball.

I wouldn’t be doing my journalistic responsibilities if I didn’t address the news of the week. I don’t want to write off the Patsies just yet because it is foolhardy. Sure you can’t lose the best QB in football and not expect much of a drop-off but this team was arguably way less talented in 2001 and still won. Sure that might have been because of a Sony camcorder, but they still won.

The Pats are 1-0, and next play the Jets and Dolphins, before their bye in week 4. After that, they play teams like the 49ers, Rams and Cardinals, Jets and Dolphins again, Raiders and a Seattle team that looks average at best. They play Buffalo twice, and Denver. They aren’t done at all.

The real funny thing is hearing Randy Moss talk through all of this. You mean the same guy that quit on Aaron Brooks and Andrew Walter? Lets see what happens after Cassel misses an open Moss a few times.

Much of Chowda nation has already started whining. Cries of cheapshot and dirty play are flowing through out Boston similar to Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Still the dirtiest hit I've ever seen from one of dirtiest players in the league.

More pats going low...on purpose from last year:

Leg whip on a guy playing with a torn ACL. Definitely classy. Definitely Vrabel.

Look can’t we all just call a spade and spade and move on. The incessant whining by team double standard is irritating and the reason they are the most hated team around. Suffice to say these fans were probably the ones that weren’t around for the Pete Carroll days.

The karmic elements of this injury are the definition of irony. For three years now, Belichek has put Brady on the injury report with the same knee in his attempt to continue to play his psychology mindgames. The time he finally takes him off... WACK.

Now comes the true litmus test to see just how great a coach he is. Look, he can outcoach Herm and all but what about the rest? Is this going to be the season we recognize we officially christen Tom Brady the best QB of all time and realize that Belichek is only successful because of him?

Other thoughts over the weekend:

Watching ESPN post game coverage could anyone just notice the depressed state of the ESPN broadcasters? Poor Chris Berman. He was just beside himself.

I received word that on the Mike Tirico show there was talk about putting an asterisk on the season because Tom Brady’s injury. Really?

How rare is it that a rookie QB’s first pass of his career goes for a td like in the case of Matt Ryan? So rare that the last player to do that was Micheal Bishop. Go Google that.

The play call of the day was the double reverse by the Ravens against the Bengals. For one of the most inept offenses in the leagues, imagine the surprise to Marvin Lewis when they started reversing the field on those poor Bengals. Also props to Joe Flaccid for having a great block on the play to spring Mark Clayton.

Don’t be surprised to see Kerry Collins be the starter in Tennessee even when Vince Young returns from injury. Their defense is already in mid season form and they only need an offense to be average to contend in the AFC now. They looked to have a strong running attacked with speedster Chris Johnson but they also the fatback in Lendale White. The receivers are mediocre but there are enough guys there that can make plays provided they actually have an NFL QB throwing to them. Ditto Gus Frerotte in Minnesota.

Snap Judgements Because One game is all I have to go on:

The Jags and the Colts both had injuries on the offensive line that radically altered what they could do but both will still be around in January.

I’m not saying the Broncos will do anything this year but with another draft and free agency, they could be a playoff team again.

I think half of SUS is going to be signed by the Seattle Seahawks to be receivers. They lost Burleson for the year. Could SUS's own BH be the next Seahawk reciever?

Get your jock of the week: DeAngelo Hall. Wasn’t he the best corner in football? Oh right. Nope. A greenhorn rookie proved it.

San Diego linebacker Shawne Merriman: "I don't think I was slowed down much by the knee.'' – did he even play? I saw Merriman getting handled by Carolina Panther LT, Jordan Gross. This will further prove to the lemmings that Merriman is no longer dominant because he’s injured as opposed to, I don’t know, taking roids. Turns out he is out for the year. Karma part 2.

Micheal Oher, Matt Stafford, Vontae Davis of the week: St. Louis Rams. For a team that people were calling sleeper surely looked the exact opposite on Sunday. A truly dreadful performance where all sides of the football were exposed for the Rams. Special runner up to the Detroit Lions – getting murdered by a woeful Falcon team was more pathetic but at least they clawed back.

Rookie of the week: Matt Forte. I liked how he pulled away from the reigning NFL defensive player of the year, Bob Sanders. Cedric Benson couldn’t do that but that’s why he’s unemployed at the moment.

Nice duck there Favre. Am I the only one not creaming myself over his performance?

Unlike most, I think Tavaris Jackson can be a good one. Heck Giants fans should know this. Brad Childress was able to turn Donovan McNabb into something and Jackson has similar potential though no where near as polished as McNabb was coming out.

Aaron Rodgers might be the only success story out of the Jeff Tedford offense.

Marvin Lewis is going to be fired before week 8 -- odds now 2 to 1?

I'm getting one of these for Yinzer.

Jets/Dolphins Recap

12:15pm: Woke up, hungover and still in my jeans.

12:20pm: Checked cell phone messages. Most texts were from Jet fans getting me excited for the game. I then remembered it was Sunday. I didn’t care that my head hurt and my mouth was dryer than Hillary’s vagina, a new NFL season is here!

12:35pm: I showered, straightened up and even shaved.

12:38pm: Took a non-static cloth and some Windex and I wiped down my 46inch LCD TV. This was the first legit NFL game it was going to watch since the Superbowl. Best investment I’ve made in awhile

12:43pm: Brought my laptop downstairs to the couch, powered it up and prepared my fantasy teams

12:53pm: I checked all my fantasy teams (yes I am in 6 leagues and I don’t care how crazy it may seem, I rule and go F yourself) and was ready to begin

12:59pm: Forgetting I have a hangover and headache I wash down some Gatorade and 3 advil, ate like 3 crackers and busted out the Chinese food menus. Although, every time I looked at the menu I felt like puking.

1:05pm: KICK IT!!!

Every team is going to have their pre-game jitters on opening day and they usually carry over into the first quarter. The Jets might have more than most teams considering all the new faces they have on both sides of the ball, especially on offense with the most important position, the quarterback. But Favre is no ordinary QB. He’s a 16 year veteran who thrives off competition and just flat out loves to win. His passion and integrity for the game is very admirable. I’m not saying that Pennington lacked these same qualities but Favre is a real breath of fresh air as well as a boost for a playoff spot. This game was a lot closer than I was hoping it would be but it didn’t surprise me one bit. They certainly are going to need to play a lot better against a Bradyless Patriots team if they want to take lead of the division.


Offense C: Brett Favre says he knows about 75% of the offensive plays? I say that’s bullshit. I bet he barely knows half of them. And that’s what it looked like in Miami on Sunday. Take example the 4th and 13 hailmary to Chansi Stuckey, at the line of scrimmage he called for the same play, confusing the rest of the offensive unit. But god damn it worked! If that were Pennington throwing the ball, it probably wouldn’t have made it past the line of scrimmage. Favre gives the Jets the ability to go deep more often and I almost shot a load in my pants when he threw that 50yd bullet to Cotchery for the first score of the game. The running game has some signs of life though. Thomas Jones was hitting the holes nicely and even bouncing to the outside a couple times. As out-of-sync as they may have looked, they still put the ball in the end zone when they needed too, something Pennington or Clemens struggled to do for the team last season. Favre only got to practice with Coles twice before the game. Give their relationship some time to develop and Favre has another weapon to throw too during gametime.

Defense B+: I may be a little generous with the plus but it was certainly nice to see an opponent’s total rushing yardage under 50 for once. Mind you it was a young offensive line they were matching up against but no matter, it’s confidence to build going into next weeks matchup with the playboyless massholes. The starting 2 corners, rookie Dwight Lowery and Darrelle Revis played great games. Revis had Ted Ginn Jr. shutdown practically all day. Miami tried to exploit Lowery as a weakness but he certainly stepped up to the challenge and made a lot of key plays (especially on 4th and goal in the endzone). Calvin Pace looked better than I thought he would as he was aggressive and always in the backfield putting pressure on Chad. The defense did what every opposing defense has done against Pennington; never let him beat you deep. First because he can’t throw the ball that far, secondly because the closer he gets to the redzone the harder it is for him to get 6 on the board. So he threw 20 of his 26 passes to the TE’s and RB’s which what I’ve been accustomed to as a Jet fan for a very long time and it was nice not to see that during the game from Favre.

Special Teams D: They had good field position for most of the day but that was largely due to the defense keeping Miami’s offense from moving the ball. Mike Nugent hurt his leg in the 1st quarter leaving us without a kicker for more than half the game. Had Pennington scored on that last minute drive I probably would of drove to Favre’s new house and taken a shit on his lawn (he just bought a house in my old hometown) just because it’s close. It was real funny watching Kellen Clemens line up and practice kicking extra points.

Coaching B-: The defense did a good job of keeping the running game and the passing attack contained until the 4th quarter. Offense still needs some work considering all the talent they have on that side of the ball. It’s obvious that there was a lot of rust on the offense and defense and an early bye week will only help it. If both units can get their act together this is definitely a playoff team.

With Brady done for the season it seems almost unreal that the Jets have the best shot at winning the division. But I’m not counting out the Patriots, or the Bills for that matter, just yet. They are still the Patriots and the Bills have a lot of talent to challenge for the division as well. If the Jets can work the kinks out on offense and get more pressure on the quarterback I can sleep a little more easily knowing that winning the division is not as far as a reach as one Jet fan would have dreamed.

You know your young QB might be on his way to being a bust when...

he goes absent for a few hours and his family is worried that he offed himself. To paraphrase Mahatma, this certainly gives new meaning to the term vinsanity. Though the world has certainly come full circle when Kerry Collins is the most sane and rational QB on a team, eh?

A few thoughts about sports in general as I encroach on MissMet's, Mahatma's, and White Boy's turf.

ISSUE #1 Wagner having Tommy John surgery. See ya in '10?

It looks like the Sandman is breaking through Billy Wagner's front door and taking no prisoners. Not only is Wagner out for this playoff run, but looks like he's going to miss all of '09 as well. So in 2010, when Wagner is again healthy, he'll be going on 39 years and more importantly, a free agent.

As a Yankee fan who is indifferent, if not slightly pro-Mets, I gotta sympathize with this team and their fans. New York sports is roughly a tale of two fanbases, Giants/Yanks and Jets/Mets. As a member of the former fanbase, my baseball team owned the 90's, have made the playoffs all but one year this decade, and oh by the way, our football team had arguably the greatest if not most improbable championship run a few months ago. (Oh, and being a Devils fan? Yeah, that's had some advantages too.) And the latter fanbase? Not exactly the L.A. Clippers, but many more embarassing moments than us, including but not limited to: the '92 Mets, Yadier Molina, Generation K, Browning Nagle, Chad Pennington's shoulder, Vinny Testaverde's ACL, Blair Thomas, Johnny Mitchell, Ken O'Brien, and Rich Kotite. Most importantly, no championships in the last 20 years and only 3 since the Jets and Mets have come into existence.

All of this is to say that the Mets got screwed by the timing of the Wagner injury. They were having a season where they were not only making the playoffs, but becoming more and more likely to go deep into the playoffs. I'm not saying they were a lock to make the world series, but let's look at this logically. Couldn't you see them beating the Brewers? Sabathia has been a turrible postseason pitcher and every Sheets start is a DL visit waiting to happen. If the Mets beat the Brewers, they could've overcome the D-Backs, Dodgers, or Cubs because of lack of hitting, lack of talent, and lack of luck, respectively. Would they lose to the Angels/Sox/D-Rays? Probably. But they could have been fairly competitive. And in one 7 game series, who knows what can happen, just ask the '06 Cardinals. But without a closer, do they now even have a chance of surviving the NL? Maybe, but probably not.

Sorry Mets, but ya need a closer, and unless you're going to get 3-4 complete games each round, you're as likely to represent New York in the World Series as the Yankees.

ISSUE #2 The Stupidest People in the World Are...

the people who think that New England will be any worse than 8-8 without Tom Brady. They have one of the easiest schedules in the league and oh by the way, Randy Moss, Laurence Maroney, Adalius Thomas, and one of the better O-Lines in the league all have their ACL's. Will they win the Super Bowl? No. But they'll be no worse than 8-8.

ISSUE #3 Knicks say they're in no rush to trade Zach Randolph.

Somewhere, White Boy and buffet owners in Memphis shed a tear.

What did we learn class?

Yup. Payback's a motherfucker.