What a Horrible Series! Subway Series II!!

Hello friends! You would think that the Mets playing the lowly Seattle Mariners would he helpful to their record. You thought wrong. Entering the game on Monday night, the Mets were back to .500. After the debacles of Monday and Tuesday, the team got a solid win on Wednesday, to bring them to...one game under .500. I read a quote from Mr. Wright in the paper this morning about how the upcoming series' against the Yankees, Cardinals and Phillies are an important stretch that could show whether the team is part of the NL Elite. With a poor showing against a really really bad team, what are we supposed to expect against three teams (all of them hated, I might add) with winning records?
I do have to take this time to thank the Phillies for absolutely sucking in the past 10 games or so. The Mets have been able to gain ground with their not too bad record of 6-4, while the Phillies have let them in with a record of 2-8. The Mets are now only 3.5 games back!
This leads me to this weekend. Now, I like the Subway Series. I think it is fun, but I think this day-night, 2 stadium thing that's happening later on today is just too much. We've done this twice before, haven't we? Haven't the Mets been swept in both of them? Gary Cohen made an excellent suggestion: both teams have September 11th as an off day. Why not make up a game then? If there's any day that a Mets-Yankees game should be played, I think it should be that day. Not only because you know that the teams will find a great way to pay tribute to the lives lost and to the city, but because the two teams helped play a major role in the revival of New York after the tragedy. Cohen went as far as saying that this game should be an annual event, because in 10 years, many kids will not even know what 9-11 was. In fact, my Kindergarteners from this school year were not born yet when it happened. That means that through baseball, something they can relate to, they will be able to learn about a significant day in our country's history.
Sorry, back to the game. This afternoon's game has Mike Pelfrey, who has been amazing in his last 5 starts, against Dan Giese, who I don't know anything about, but his name reminds me of Rip Torn's character in 30 Rock. Game 2 will be Ponson v. Pedro. Ponson is making his first Yankee start after being in the Minors, while Pedro had one awful inning last Saturday against the Rockies that cost them the game. Saturday afternoon's match-up of Pettite v. Santana looks like it will be the most exciting, as long as Santana doesn't give up a grand slam to Pettite in the second inning. For some reason, Jerry Manuel is sending Perez out to pitch on Sunday (sorry, Ollie, you know how I feel about you, but things haven't been great lately) against Darryl Rasner. While it would be great to win these games for bragging rights, I would just like the Mets to get above .500 and/or keep pace with the Phillies. OK?
~MissMet

Traffic Cops Gone Wild

I've been meaning to do a post about Jimmy Justice for awhile. This guy is my personal hero. Anyone who has ever owned a car in New York has a story about some douchebag Traffic Enforcement "Officer"(ask an NYPD if they are real cops) who gave them a bullshit ticket. I see it every day on my block in Brooklyn, trucker stops to make a delivery, hops out of his truck to tell the store hes outside, and the vultures in the fake black NYPD cars swoop in and ticket the delivery guy for "non-activity". Well, Senor Jimmy Justice turns the tables on a few of these fucktards in a rather memorable fashion. Enjoy!

FANTASY BREAKDOWN

Summer is here and there is absolutely nothing to watch on TV for the next 2 months (unless your whiteboy and worship the YES network even on Yankee off days)!! Yea sure, the Olympics are on this summer but does anyone else besides me feel pedophilic when watching the women’s gymnastics (talk about tight!)? Even HBO (for those who have it…seriously why don’t you?) is lacking with their summer criteria (Entourage, Big Love, Curb Your Enthusiasm coming later in the fall). So Folks, it’s almost here, the next NFL season approaches (finally I’ll have something to contribute to SUS)! So if you’re a fantasy football junkie like myself, these are my rankings and projections for the following 08 season, and if you’re a basketball fan feel free to open another browser and start jerking off or simply kill yourself.

1. TOM BRADY – 18-1 WAAAAAAA!! Still, can’t argue the fact he had the best season by a QB ever last year (at least since the NFL bought pen and paper and started recording statistics). Plus with the same o-line protecting him there’s no doubt in my mind he can’t put up similar numbers again


2. PEYTON MANNING – He’s the face of the NFL, and an ugly one at that. It sounds like Marvin Harrisons’ career is done and what a shame that is. Still without him, Manning had his typical pro-bowl season and he should still be a top 3 QB in every league.


3. TONY HOMO – “Don’t hate the player, hate the game.” Well, I still hate him as a player but I got to respect his game and his taste for blondes. I’d rather have Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood than Giselle Bunchface and Bridge Moynapreggers (Brady’s bitches).


4. BEN ROETHLISBERGER – Ask and you shall receive. He wanted bigger targets at WR and he got one when they drafted Limas Sweed. I’m actually considering making him one of my keepers. Mendenhall and Parker is a great duo in the backfield, watch for more play-action passes.



5. DREW BREES – With Deuce back to help the running game (Fuck Reggie Bush) Drew won’t need to throw as many balls and can return back to his 06 form.


Those top 5 are no brainers; here is a list of your “Safeties” and “Doorknobs.” Safeties being solid options (and chances) but Doorknobs….well if I need to explain that then step into my office, because you’re fucking fired!

SAFETIES

MATT HASSELBACK – A solid fantasy player for the past 6 seasons. He lost a big target in DJ Hackett but he plays behind a solid o-line that gives him plenty of time to make plays.
PHILIP RIVERS – He’s a real cocky bastard but on some level you have to respect him, especially when he delivers. It’s still the LT show but he’s a guarantee for at least 20+ TDs and 3500+yds.
DONOVAN MCNABB – With a healthy Brian Westbrook there is a solid fantasy QB in McNabb. Desean Jackson wasn’t the answer they needed at WR but he’s not going to hurt them in anyway. Don’t wait on him too long because he could go early and if he does, make sure you draft a suitable backup because he’s sure to go down with an injury.
DAVID GARRARD – Jaguars are a run first team but this offseason they stacked up on receivers. Now can any of them get open?

DOORKNOBS

CARSON PALMER – Be careful with Palmer because if Chad Johnson does get traded this will certainly hurt his stock. Bengals are a mess right now and I’d be careful who you draft from this team. Houshmanzadeh is only as good as when Chad is getting double teamed.
DEREK ANDERSON – Was last season a fluke? I’m going to lean towards no. But if he struggles early on, Romeo won’t hesitate to start the Quinn show and I think that’s almost a certainty it will happen this season.
MARC BULGER – Can this man ever stay healthy!! I rode his train when he came in for the injured Kurt Warner years back and it’s time for my fat ass to get off. Hopefully you'll draft better than I.
JAMARCUS RUSSELL – Javon Walker won’t save the raiders but keep an eye on Russell’s progress, he could be a suitable bye week plug-in.
ELI MANNING – I wasn’t sure where to place him so I’m going to lean towards here (easy Devo and Whiteboy). He was stellar from the last couple of weeks of last season to the superbowl. He’s definitely a #1 QB but for your fantasy team? I don’t see it. Be careful if you draft him
ANY JETS QB – Any team who hasn’t decided on their starter you just simply don’t draft.

ANY BEARS QB – Because they’re DA BEARS

BRODIE CROYLE – I hope he does a little better than last season just because I want to see more pictures of his wife (PLAYBOY BABY…..DO IT!!)



RUNNING BACKS COMING SOON!!

Cheers to Wimbledon!

About time

It's about time people took back their fair cities and once again, London is spearheading social reform.

Look i have no beef with most animals but pigeons are one of them. How many times do these things shit on your balcony? How many times are those rat birds in your way while walking down the street? How many times do they wake you up on Saturday/Sunday Morning with the incessant hooting and hollering? Not only do we NY'ers have to deal with the tourists but these bastards of the animal kingdom also. Hats off to the Wimbledon staff for having the cajones to do such things. Perhaps NYC can implement the same measures.

“Since the use of marksmen to kill pigeons appears to have been carried out as a first, rather than a last resort, and not out of a concern for public health, but rather because the animals were deemed inconvenient by players, you appear to be in clear violation of the law,” PETA vice-president Bruce Friedrich said

Really? Look you pigeon lovers, do you really want this on our fair streets? Gross.



THIS IS A VIOLATION of HYGIENE. Maybe we should put Bruce in one of these and see what he has to say following?


Look we have to worry about enough walking down the streets. From the spit, cigarettes, cranes, buildings, and according to M. Night, construction workers. Lets employ some marksmen and take our city back from the dreaded rat bird.

Than we can employ said marksmen to work on our rodent problem as well.

You know what really grinds my gears?

(1) Pacman Jones

I hate this guy. He is, at worst, an accomplice in an attempted murder of a police officer. He has been given 3rd, 4th and 5th chances in life that you or I would dare not dream of having. Worst of all, he can't even put a rational sentence together. "I was being rebellion." Are you freaking kidding me? How can you go to any college and not be able to properly distinguish "rebellion" from "rebellious." (Editor's note, obviously you've never been to WVU) Oh, and now he has the gall to call out anybody else for being a bad person, ascribing racist sentiment to Don Imus's comments without even caring to understand the context of said comments. Pacman said he will pray for Imus. Hey Pacman, why don't you pray for the guy who you put in a G-d damn wheel chair you piece of shit. You make me sick.

(2) Don Imus

Don't think you were getting off Scott free here I-man. While Pacman is a moron, you are pretty foolish yourself. Your comments about the Rutgers women's team were despicable and clearly racist. I don't think you meant anything by your recent comment about Pacman Jones, but the very fact that you would even touch race as a topic, when you were fired from your last job and humiliated beyond words for uttering racially insensitive remarks, shows how much of a shock-jock you truly are. To think that great minds of our time like the late Tim Russert and Al Gore would come on your show.

(3) Al Sharpton

I'm not sure what grinds my gears about him but the editor told me to get on him too. Apparently he has threatened to do something if Imus receives no discipline for his recent comments. I think what you do for the Sean Bell's and Amidu Diablo's of the world is truly admirable but leave Imus alone. He is a bitter, old country boy who has no influence on the young minds that will shape the future of this country. Stick to the aforementioned important things or else you will just continue to be thought of as a racial ambulance chaser by myself and much more importantly, people that actually matter on these issues.

(4) The Wilpons

I'm sorry, I can't let this story die. You fire a guy at 3am so that you think nobody will pick up the story. (Editor's note: I'm surprised no one has made a Hilary 3am phone call reference with this story. Maybe I just need to stop smoking the political crack pipe) Then, you wait a full week and make a statement that you think Omar Minaya has done a great job. Lets see, Santana is under-performing, Beltran is horribly overrated and as soft as tissue paper, and your new manager who is being praised by everyone for no reason is 3-3. Yup it must be Willie's fault though. You guys are a joke. Its hard to make Hank Steinbrenner look gracious and sensitive but congratulations Fred and Jeff, you have.

(5) Yankees Offense

How does a team that has 4 guys playing at all world levels score a combined 6 runs against one of the worst teams in baseball? I was out with a young lady Saturday and I check my phone and to my horror see that the Reds have a 4-0 lead in the 8th. Friday night you lost to a great young pitcher in Volquez (best atmosphere at a home game this year by far) but how do you get shutdown, including not scoring with the bases full and 0 outs in the 2nd, by a minor leaguer? I'm getting sick of this team never performing against pitchers they have not seen before. Scouting reports are important but great hitters like A-rod, Damon and Jeter should be able to get the job done against any guy making his first career start. I expect a much better showing against the Buccos this week offensively. The pitching has actually carried this team as they have compiled an amazing sub 2 era over the last 10 games. That won't keep up with Chinny out until September so we need some more offense soon boys.

Point/Counterpoint: Should the Yankees Trade for Sabathia?

NO, NO, AND HELL NO.

By Devo

SUS Nation, I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell along with me

THE YANKEES ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR!

THE YANKEES ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR!

THE YANKEES ARE NOT GOING TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR!

Sure, the Yankees are putting together a nice little hot streak. And you’re starting to think that if everything comes together, if they can get timely hitting and pitching for 3 weeks in October, they can bring home a 27^th World Series Championship. And technically you’re right; but that’s not going to happen. No chance. And trading away prospects for C.C. Sabathia is going to do two things 1) not win us a championship this year and 2) hinder our chances of winning a championship in the future.

You can make an argument that our lineup is good enough to win a world series this year if everyone stays healthy. You also could’ve made that same argument the last 2-3 years, at which point our lineup came out flatter than your girlfriend's chest. The veterans looked old and the young guys looked inexperienced.

And what about the pitching staff? Make no mistake, Joba is an ace-in-waiting who simply needs to learn the nuances of major league pitching in order to ensure his Ace status. It would be refreshing to see Mussina and Pettitte at the top of the rotation…if Bill Clinton were still in the White House. But Pettitte is inconsistent at best. And while Mussina has been fantastic this year, I refuse to believe that he will come up big against the Red Sox in a big spot.

So the question remains, shouldn’t the Yankees go after a bonafide ace in Sabathia? Wouldn’t the rotation be World Series worthy if it included Sabathia, Joba, Pettitte, and Mussina? Well yes. But that still does not mean that this team can win a World Series. Frankly, this lineup that would win your fantasy league 10x's over has never gotten the best of opposing pitching in October, and there is no reason to think that Kyle Farnsworth can hold down an 8^th inning spot against the best teams in the game. And let’s not forget that our defense is going to suffer immensely if Melky Cabrera is part of a Sabathia deal.

Would Sabathia improve the Yankees? Sure. But would he enable them to win the World Series? Probably not. And more importantly, why not hold on to the kids? And then Santino Steinbrenner can send Luca Brasi over to C.C. Sabathia’s crib this winter and tell him that either his name or his brains will be on the contract.

Point/Counterpoint: Should the Yankees Trade for Sabathia?

Save our Season by Securing Sabathia

By White Boy South Bronx

Cheesy alliteration aside, the Yankees need to save this season. The team has the highest payroll by over 30 million dollars when compared to their closest rival in this department. This team is composed of highly paid veterans like A-Rod, Posada, Jeter, Abreu and Giambi. This team is now, thanks to beating up on some of the dregs of the National League, a healthy 6 games over the 500 mark.

The counter argument of course is that the Yankees had a chance to land an ace this offseason by offering similar packages that they would have to surrender now in order to land an ace. Furthermore, some will argue that the ace the Yanks could have landed this offseason, Santana, is superior to the ace they can land now, Sabathia. As I told Devo yesterday, tomato, tomAto. Both are great pitchers and Sabathia is a few years younger than Santana. As for giving up the same players in a trade now that the Twins asked for this offseason, there is nothing wrong with admitting to a mistake. Obviously the Mets front office has set a precedent that one cannot admit under any circumstances that it made any mistake or handled any situation poorly; but the Yankees are the Yankees for a reason. Its front office (save the mid 1980’s) is and always has been better than the JV organization across the Throgs Neck Bridge.

Finally, I have never bought into the idea of rebuilding if you don’t have to. Yes, in a salary cap world like the NBA, one horrible decision can force you into 5-10 years of mediocrity. However, in Major League Baseball, where the only salary cap is one imposed on itself by ownership, there is no reason a team like the Yankees should not try and win it all every year. More importantly, if Phillip Hughes ever became what Sabathia is now, I’d be doing summer-saults all across Park Avenue. (Editor’s note: This is now my main reason for hoping Phil Hughes makes the Hall of Fame one day.) So if the Yankees can trade a guy with potential for a guy that is really good right now, I see no downside to doing it. Oh, and if you think that Sabathia would not resign here after the season for big money, name for me the last superstar the Yankees acquired that did not resign here when given the ample opportunity to do so?

RIP

George Carlin earned fame with his bathroom humor, profanity and word play. But he had heart problems for years. Sunday, it killed him. Among his famous routines that people remember is how to classify drivers. "Anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac."

He wasn't everyone's cup of tea but he had his moments. Here are some of them:

Off Season Plan: Atlantic Division

I know what you're thinking: "now that hockey is over Yinzer is finally going to stop posting about it!" Wrong. When it comes to the Yinzer, hockey is never over. There's a greater chance of Patrick Ewing not choking in the playoffs, and that is considering he is retired. However I am not one without compassion, therefore instead of posting one for every hockey division, which I assure you I do have, I shall only post the one on the Atlantic Division which pertains to the website theme.

So I give you a team by team breakdown of the Atlantic Division teams fo their status going into the off season and a plan of action.

(F)- forward
(D)- defenseman
(G)- goalie


Pittsburgh Penguins
UFA’s- Marian Hossa (F), Pascal Dupuis (F), Ryan Malone (F), Jarkko Ruutu (F), Georges Laraque (F), Gary Roberts (F), Adam Hall (F), Brooks Orpik (D), Ty Conklin (G)
RFA’s- Marc-Andre Fleury (G)
Analysis:
The Pens have a lot of free agents going into the summer, and aside from Adam Hall all would be felt if they lost them to one degree or another. Marc-Andre Fleury is a goalie who has silenced most of his critics with a trip to the Stanley Cup Finals, and probably being the best player on his team through the playoffs.

What they should do:
The Pens could sign Hossa, but with what Crosby makes on his new deal and what Malkin will it would be much smarter to sign Malone and Orpik who could probably be had combined for Hossa’s price. Orpik is too important to lose and should be their first priority of the UFA’s. Fleury also needs to be signed before an offer sheet can be thrown at him, and while the Pens would match I’m sure they don’t want to pay that much. Roberts will probably retire and both Ruutu and Laraque are affordable and seem to like playing in Pittsburgh. Hall is a serviceable fourth liner, but ultimately replaceable. Pens will concentrate keeping their own, and sign maybe some spare parts, but don’t expect anyone significant to be signed this off season barring they lose all of their free agents.



New Jersey Devils
UFA’s- Sergei Brylin (F), Jay Pandolfo (F), Aaron Asham (F), Karel Rachunek (D), Bryce Salvador (D), Richard Matvichuk (D)
RFA’s- David Calrkson (F)
Analysis:
Everyone says how masterful Lou always is, yet many fail to realize his plan in the cap world is to give out long term deals to players so they take slightly less money. That slightly part is key there. He has quite a bit of money tied up in long term deals doing this, some good some bad. (I’m looking at you, Dainus Zubrus). Two defensive forwards in Brylin and Pandolfo are up for contract (the former has a club option) and it is not known if Lou will keep either. Though he only has $40mm tied up in the cap, New Jersey isn’t exactly the #1 attraction for free agents, especially ones who like scoring to go to. Still, expect Lou to give out another long term deal to someone undeserving in an attempt to bring an impact player in. Amazingly the Devils made the same mistake they made last year: playing Brodeur too much. Winning the division is nice, but it’s better to keep your aging starting goalie rested and not play him 70+ games and tire his out for the playoffs.


What they should do:
Seriously, if you can, trade Zubrus. He was never that good, only ever scored with Ovechkin (which anyone can really do) and was never that physical or good defensively as some pundits suggest. He’s worth about half his salary for half the term. They need scoring pure and simple so get someone in who can finish. And if you really want to go somewhere, play backup goalie Weekes more than a dozen times.



New York Rangers
UFA’s- Jaromir Jagr (F), Martin Straka (F), Brendan Shanahan (F), Sean Avery (F), Paul Mara (D), Michal Roszival (D), Marik Malik (D)
RFA’s- Nigel Dawes (F), Fredrik Sjostrom (F)
Analysis:
The Rangers will have a lot of cap room this off season with their free agents and I expect them to do a lot of tinkering this summer. Getting Jagr under contract is going to be a little tricky as since he arrived from Washington the Rangers have only paid half his salary, so that will probably create a rift in where the two sides want to meet. They will want him under contract so expect a casualty to be the likes of Straka. Malik is as good as gone (or at least off the books cause I think he was already in Europe), and Avery wants way more than he’s worth, and will probably go to the highest bidder (it is rumored he wants $3.5mm a year, and though valuable to the Rangers isn’t worth that kind of money). Shanahan is showing signs of age but look for him to sign for a little less. Mara will probably be let go and Roszival signed.

What they should do:
If they can get Jagr and Shanahan to sign incentive laden deals that are reasonable then do it. Giving Avery $3mm or more shouldn’t be considered, $2.5mm or less is what he should get. Roszival has blossomed since joining the team and with an up and coming defense with the likes of Tyutin, Staal and Girardi don’t expect Mara to stay. With the additional cap room though I fully expect GM Glenn Sather to seek out big name defenseman to stabilize the blue line some and have a shut down. I’m expecting to see Brian Campbell or Wade Redden in a Rangers uniform next year. A younger forward who can score is also needed as that is what the Rangers are lacking most with most their producing forwards being over 30. Still this is Glenn Sather so who knows which way he will go.



Philadelphia Flyers
UFA’s- Jim Dowd (F), Riley Cote (F), Jason Smith (D), Jaroslav Modry (D)
RFA’s- Jeff Carter (F), Randy Jones (D)
Analysis:
There seems to be a big deal made out of Philly’s off season with Carter needing new deals (I am not sure if the rumored Carter signing is true or not), but I think this is overblown. All their UFA’s save Cote for his cheap salary will be let go to free up space. With Mike Richards new deal kicking in next year Philly already has nearly $48mm committed of an expected cap of $56mm; the retirement of Sami Kapanen providing some relief though. Their off season moves will be limited, so expected some spare parts or maybe a decent support player but nothing more.


What they should do:
Obviously Carter was the priority and GM Paul Holmgren has already stated as much and if true has already signed him. There isn’t a whole lot Philly can do, so they don’t have many courses of action. Don’t expect them to be signing big names like they did last year, though they will probably pursue a cheaper puck moving defenseman, something they lacked enough of in the playoffs. Flyers will be back in the playoffs next year, but with so much cap tied up for so long don’t expect them to be spending big in the coming off seasons. Of course, they have been known to swing big deals, so don’t be surprised if a young forward to be dealt for a defenseman.


New York Islanders
UFA’s- Miroslav Satan (F), Ruslan Fedotenko (F), Josef Vasicek (F), Brian Berard (D), Wade Dubielewicz (G)
RFA’s- Sean Bergenheim (F), Bruno Gervais (D), Aaron Johnson (D)
Analysis:
The Islanders have a chance to trim some fat, and rumor is they’ve already told Satan and Fedotenko their going to be cut loose which is smart as the former has disappeared since coming to the Isles and the latter was worth a fraction of what they paid him. Vasicek was a pleasant surprise but he is rumored to be on the way out. Dubie, while liked by the fans is replaceable make no mistake. Look for the Isles/Fishsticks (it just doesn’t get old) to bring in young talent from the farm.


What they should do:
Outside of goaltender the Isles need to improve everywhere. They need a few wingers who can put the puck in the net as Trent Hunter is the only one who can really do that besides an aging Bill Guerin. Of course the defense isn’t a whole lot better when Brendan Witt and Andy Sutton are your two best stay at homes. Of the two though I would concentrate more on scoring as both the Pens and Rangers displayed you don’t need elite defenseman to go far (not that it doesn’t help). The free agent scoring pool is thin this year, especially for anyone under 35 so barring some young players stepping it up big time don’t look for much improvement from the Isles. Trading picks and/or prospects for established players though is a viable option at this point.

End the Rangers!

A few days ago, the New York Rangers decided to sue the NHL. In doing so, they violated the NHL's Constitution. The NHL, in a letter drafted by Gary Bettman, said, "potential actions against MSG may include suspension or termination of membership, damages payable to the league and other teams."

To paraphrase Walter Sobchak of Big Lebowski fame, "This isn't Nam, this is the NHL. There are rules." And is a wealthy organization like the New York Rangers simply going to learn their lesson by having to pay a small fee in damages to the league? I think not. Who's to say that they won't break more rules? No, the NHL must make an example out of them. The Rangers, like Luca Brasi, should sleep with the fishes. How else will teams learn?