Friday, March 13, 2009

R.I.P Max Kellerman Show

It has been a tragic week across both AM/FM radio waves, and heads are rolling faster than you can say I can't believe K-Rock only played 6 Linkin Park songs last hour.

The latest tragedy? None other than original host of the PTI pregame show known as Around The Horn, Max Kellerman, and his mid-day 1050 AM show. I'm not going to sugarcoat things: Max was an arrogant, spoiled white brat. And he wasn't particularly intelligent either. But ya know what? He was an arrogant, spoiled, unintelligent Giants and Yankees fan. And he wasn't afraid to let little things such as logic get in the way of arguments such as "Eli Manning is the best quarterback in the NFL today" or "Derek Jeter might be the greatest living baseball player." Did I agree with him? Absolutely not, but it was fun to hear someone make ridiculously arrogant arguments that I (and 90% of society) was too levelheaded to make.

So while Max was probably in the, uh, lower half of the intellectual food chain, there's a lot (or at least a few) good sports radio hosts who tend to like lousy teams. And it's not worth sitting through 3 hours of Luis Castillo talk just to hear intelligent and/or rational sports banter from the likes of Roberts & Benningo.

So to Max Kellerman, next time the Giants are the undisputed best team in the NFL for about 7 weeks in mid-Fall, your arrogant and ignorant pro-Giants views will be missed.

In other words, sometime around 2040 Giant fans will start to wish that Max was still around.

But on the bright side, we now get Colin Cowherd, who makes Michael Kay sound as sincere as Beningo. Awesome.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Good game, K-Rock...

Rolling Stone
- Well, K-Rock is crap again.

According to the New York Times, K-Rock’s listenership had fallen to 21st in New York’s Arbitron rankings in the important Age 12-and-above demographic for the month of January.

This proves what I've been saying for the last year or so, that K-Rock is no better than the 4th best rock radio station in the area, behind 101.9 (classic/modern/indie rock), 104.3 (classic rock), and 105.5 (classic/hard rock; Jersey station). For what it's worth, how many stations can be below K-Rock? There can't be much more than 21 fm stations, no?

On a sadder note, R.I.P. Opie and Anthony in the morning. I hardly knew ye. Seriously, I started listening to them roughly two weeks ago, and now? I gotta wait for satellite radio to go belly up so that they can come back on another radio station.

But on a related note, anyone out there who left their radio on K-Rock should really check out 101.9, including Matt Pinfield in the morning. A fantastic station, and the only radio station that has played new bands in NY within the last 10 years.

As a side note, is it just me or did the Chris Brown/Rihanna beating do more for both of their careers than any of their music ever did? I mean, they're tabloid fodder now, and they were barely on top-40 radio before. It reminds me when Dale Earnhardt's death elevated auto racing (and Earnhardt's legacy) more than any of Dale's races ever could.

Judge to Vick: Heel! Sit!

Breaking news from the SUS Legal Correspondent, The Brooklyn Hillbilly-
(not to be confused with SUS Legal Counsel, Devo)

NORFOLK, Va. -- Fallen NFL star Michael Vick must appear at a bankruptcy hearing next month but should pay his own way from the Kansas prison where he is serving time for his role in a dogfighting conspiracy, a judge ruled Wednesday.

At an hour long hearing, U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Frank J. Santoro rejected the government's suggestions that he either postpone Vick's April 2 bankruptcy confirmation hearing or allow the suspended player to testify by video hookup from the federal penitentiary at Leavenworth, Kan.

"I'm not going to be put in a position of determining credibility or demeanor over a television," said Santoro, who has insisted since Vick filed for bankruptcy in July that he would have to testify in person.


Santoro also balked at delaying the hearing, citing the rights of creditors who are owed millions of dollars.

For the first time, Vick's attorneys publicly confirmed that he has been approved for transfer to home confinement home no sooner than May 21, about two months before his scheduled release from federal custody.

Vick's attorneys had been saying his move to a halfway house was imminent, but Woodward said Vick's probation officer told him Tuesday that Vick will serve the last few weeks of his 23-month sentence at his home in Hampton.

Normally, I'm a law and order type, a real straight arrow. But Judge Santoro can get off his high horse on this case. Bankruptcy proceedings take all of five minutes to accomplish, but apparently this guy has such a hard on for Mike Vick that he has to gaze into his eyes like W did to Putin to trust that hes going to repay his creditors. Look, its obvious this guy is either a Falcons season ticket holder or a UVA fan, theres no other reason he would require a cross-country trip for Vick in shackles.

Before you puppy lovers get all worked up, I'm not a Vick supporter and I think he needed to cool his jets in the clink for a couple months. Frankly, I hated the fucker when he shat on WVU in college. But the mans gotta make a living and I hope he makes it back to the NFL. By the way, the deal hes about to strike is a pretty good one- Vick's bankruptcy plan would allow him to keep the first $750,000 of his annual pay. After that, a percentage would go to his creditors based on a sliding scale. That's probably better than any deal ever gotten in the history of US Bankruptcy Court. Except for the one Bernie Madoff and his wife will probably strike in a few months.

All that aside, the guy is getting out in like 2 months. This hearing cant wait 'til then? Congrats Judge Santoro, you got your 15 minutes of fame, now go back in your hole.

Mahatma's Post Combine Player Rankings: TEs / FBs


Tight ends overall this year are a deep and extremely talented group of guys that will likely become factors on Sunday. There is no Shockey, Gates or Winslow out of the bunch but they all have potential. Teams are showing way more TE sets because of the various mismatches they create by being on the field. As the blocking fullback/battering ram system goes the way of the dodo, the two tight end scheme has never been more widespread so teams will continue to load up. Pettigrew is the best of the bunch and is a likely top 20 pick. He isn't explosive like Winslows and Shockey but he can block real well and provide a solid weapon in the intermediate passing zones. He apparently also got real drunk and assaulted a cop in his junior year. Stay classy. He also ran a horrendous 4.8 40 times but plays much faster.
Behind him are a varying group of guys that go anywhere from round 2 -5. Jared Cook ran the second fastest time of the TE ever this side of Vernon Davis and has catipulted himself into round 2nd discussion. Nelson blew up at the combine and moved himself from 2nd day pick to now a 3rd rounder. The rest are solid contributors with Davon Drew probably being the next best Tackle Eligible besides Pettigrew. Coffman/Beckum were a great college TEs but isn't going to threaten anyone with his speed or blocking but he is still steady. Ingram has WR speed but TE size. The issue with him is if he can show any team that he has his wheels still after blowing an ACL. Still he is by far the guy i'm most intrigued with and would love to see how he does on his pro day.

1) Brandon Pettigrew / Oklahoma State / 1st

2) Jared Cook / South Carolina / 2nd

3) Shawn Nelson / So. Miss. / 2nd - 3rd

4) Chase Coffman / Missouri / 2nd - 3rd

5) Travis Beckum / Wisconsin / 3rd - 4th

6) Cornelius Ingram / Florida / 4th

7) James Casey / Rice / 4th

8) Davon Drew / ECU / 5th

9) Ryan Purvis / BC / 5th

10) John Phillips / VA/ 5th - 6th

11) Darius Hill / Ball St. / 5th - 6th


As defenses are getting more and more exotic, offenses need more weapons on the field. The battering ram days are over. Fullbacks need to know be able to block well, run on short yardage and catch a swing pass in the flats. Fiammetta might be the best of the bunch in that regard although he wasn't used a lot as a runner. Johnson is a true lead blocker and a dangerous one at that but his running and receiving abilities are lacking. Southerland is another multi dimensional weapon who even played some tight end due to injuries but is a step slower than Fiammetta. Cook might be this year's Le'Ron McClain and he can even throw some passes. Lane is a beast at 270 but might eat himself into the guard position if he isn't careful.

1) Tony Fiammetta / Syracuse / 5th

2) Quinn Johnson / LSU / 5th - 6th

3) Brannen Southerland / Georgia / 5th - 6th

4) Jason Cook / Ole Miss / 6th - 7th

5) Javorskie Lane / Texas A&M / 7th

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Douchebag of the week: part II

This guy has a first name. It's D-O-U-C-H-E DOUCHE.

So seriously, I've been out of the loop for the last two weeks. I poke my head out of the sand for a minute, and everyone's talking about getting rid of fighting in hockey? What, was the popularity of Ovechkin and Crosby too much for Bettman? Is he trying to ensure that the NHL maintains a healthy competition with the WNBA for the 8th most important professional sports league? The only people who want this are people like Mike Wilbon and other blowhards who will never be strong hockey fans. Look, I know that there's crazy people out there. Hell, nearly half the population votes republican every four years. But does the NHL really think that a decrease in violence will bring more fans?

But alas, my beef is not with Bettman. At least, not this time. Stan Fischler, longtime Devil studio analyst, also known as "The Maven" (probably by people as smart as Colin Cowherd, but that's another douchebag for another time) is one of the foes of not just fighting, but one can also assume, Christmas, Ice Cream, and the Easter Bunny. And in discussing his hatred of hockey fights, Fischler unleashed this gem, "Hockey fights will never be outlawed until someone dies from a fight."

Um, ok, so I guess that means fights in hockey are here to stay? It's not that Fischler is wrong-a death that directly results from a hockey fight will surely be the end of fighting. But here's my question-can you remember the last time anyone even got hurt fighting? Cam Jannsen separated a shoulder throwing a punch a few years ago, and that's pretty much it. Hey Maven, the fighters are pros. They don't get hurt throwing punches on the ice. Now go get your fu$*king shinebox!

Burger King to open first Whopper Bar

NEW YORK (AP) — Beginning Tuesday, Burger King will open its first Whopper Bar in
Universal CityWalk, a 30-acre shopping and entertainment complex at the Universal Orlando Resort in Orlando

Customers can customize their Whopper, Double Whopper or Steakhouse XT burger with up to 22 different toppings, including steak sauce, smoked bacon and guacamole. Burger King workers will add the toppings in front of customers for a sushi bar-like atmosphere.

This might be the best idea of all time. Nothing like an upscale sushi house environment serving the Whopper. Can you think of a more romantic joint then this? Nothing says romance like a whopper bar with toppings and the cooking is done right in front of you!

Isn't it great that now you can see the 15 year old burger tosser from your local high school now making that burger right in front of you! You can now watch him spit in your burger now instead of the surprise "secret" sauce realization.

Or actually it's just a big toppings bar, not much different from any salad bar, that should clear up the mass of humanity in the front, hopefully. Hey rock on. I can't wait to see this in NYC.

Sign of the year

You are not Lavar Arrington or Clinton Portis of the week

Alex Ovechkin. Horrendous performance. You need a little more than Vodka there. I guess we won't be inviting AO to the next SUS karaoke bash either.

For the record, here is how it is done.

All I know is that Sidney Crosby would have dominated in this commercial.


Monday, March 9, 2009

A Fairly Intelligent Preview of the Mens Big East Tournament

It's baaaack...yup, basketball finally returns to Madison Square Garden in the form of the Big East Tournament. Time for an insightful and unbiased prediction of how it's all gonna go down:

1st round

(9) Cincinnati vs. (16) Depaul

Don't know, don't care. Let's go with Cincy, given that they're the higher seed and all. Cincy, 90-76.

(12) Georgetown vs. (13) St. Johns
There are 11 Georgetown students I don't loathe. And they're all on the basketball team. Felipe Lopez ain't walking through that door. Georgetown, 80-62.

(10) Notre Dame vs. (15) Rutgers
The ghost of Charlie Weis will make his post-surgery-but-amazingly-still-massive impression felt. But did you see ND football last year? This is not a positive for Notre Dame. Rutgers, 69-60.

(11) Seton Hall vs. (14) South Florida
It's Jeremy Hazell's world. We're just living in it. And yes, I had to look up that name, but he's apparently pretty good. Seton Hall, 72-70

2nd round

(8) Providence vs. (9) Cincinnati
Amazingly indifferent, so tie goes to the team that can include God Shamgod as alumni. Providence 59-52.

(5) Marquette vs. (12) Georgetown
Screw it. Georgetown gets another win in honor of Roy Hibbert. Georgetown 61-60.

(7) West Virginia vs. (15) Rutgers
Joe (Jack) Alexander is not walking through the door. State University of New Jersey (SUNJ) gets revenge for the yearly ass-kickings in football and pittsnogles WVU back to Morgantown. Rutgers 78-72.

(6) Syracuse vs. (11) Seton Hall

Sure, Seton Hall loses this game, but let the record show that a SHU intramural football team would still beat Syracuse's sad excuse of a football team. Syracuse 80-60.

Thursday (3rd round)
(1) Louisville vs. (8) Providence
God (Shamgod) can't save you now. Louisville 85-72.

(4) Villanova vs. (12) Georgetown
Villanova wins and Georgetown students have to drown their sorrows in their 'element'-excluded gated community of a campus. Douchebags. 'Nova 95-68.

(2) Pittsburgh vs. (15) Rutgers
McDonalds All-American Mike Rosario, pictured above, says hi. The SUS reader may not know him yet, but after this game? You will. SUNJ 65-64.

(3) UConn vs. (6) Syracuse
Devendorf, in snowbelt speak, means douchebag. UConn 80-78


(1) Louisville vs. (4) Villanova
Louisville is overrated. But 'Nova is constantly slightly better than average and nothing more. Louisville 68-65

(3) UConn vs. (15) Rutgers

What, you think this game is going to be close? Please. SUNJ rolls, 99-48.

(1) Louisville vs. (15) Rutgers
So the tidal wave of momentum at SUNJ should stop against Louisville, why n0w? Yeah, not happening.

And there you have it! Pandemonium returns to Piscataway!

Douche of the Week

Using his own financial resources, in 1907 William published a pamphlet "The Waste of Daylight." In it he proposed that the clocks should be advanced by 80 minutes in the summer. The evenings would then remain light for longer, increasing daylight recreation time and also saving ₤2.5 million in lighting costs. He suggested that the clocks should be advanced by 20 minutes at a time at 2 am on successive Sundays in April and be retarded by the same amount on Sundays in September.

Speaking of retarded, some would call his pamphlet a waste. Anyway, thanks asshole for making me sleep an hour less and be tired as shit. Oh and for stealing an hour of my bar time on Saturday night. Douche. As an fyi, Willett is the great-great-grandfather of Coldplay frontman Chris Martin.

Mahatma's Post Combine Player Rankings: WRs


Overall, the WR class is better than it was last year when not one player went in the first round of the draft. This year's class has at least 3-4 players that could get in there with a couple other guys possibly sneaking in late 1st early 2nd.

I'll classify the draft as top heavy. Crabtree was a stud in college but how his game translates to the NFL is another story. Crabtree played in a wide open offense where numbers get inflated but was dominate. The main concern with Crabtree is top speed and whether or not he can get by NFL defenders. While he isn't as polished as Larry Fitzgerald out of college, Crabtree is a similar player and can be tremendous weapon as Fitzgerald was in the playoffs.

Jeremy Maclin is a play maker plain and simple. In Missiouri, Maclin had to play close to the line of scrimmage and thus was given chance to show what he can do. He makes defenders miss and has top end speed to blow by defenders in the open field. Moreover, Maclin handled roles other than receiver in runner and returner. The question marks with him involve his route running and his ability to get open. By all accounts, Maclin is hard working and should easily work on his routes and become a top play maker for years to come. He's also 6' 1'' which might even make him an outside shot at getting drafted before Crabtree.

Bey was one of the winners of the combine as his stock shot up from a rd 2 to a round 1 with a 4.31 40 time. Bey was originally penciled in as one of the best in the country but played in a Maryland program without any semblence of an offense. Bey might be the fastest guy in the draft but he is extremely raw as a player being a former track guy turned football player. Still route running and hands are weaknesses but Bey can make up for it and than some with some more work and experience. Bey is also 6' 3''.

Percy Harvin was one of the most dangerous players in college football under the Florida spread but that also limited his development. Harvin lines up all over the field and can be quite the weapon in the wild cat offense but in the traditional wr sense Harvin is a little raw too and not blessed with the size of the big three. He's also been injury prone in his career and carries the stigma of being a Gator receiver. While that more has to do with Spurrier's squad, that same thought process might scare of some teams in need of a receiver. Still Harvin could be a big steal in the late 1st round or early 2nd and be another version of Reggie Bush.

Nicks made the college football catch of the year and has vaulted that into a potential 1st round success. Nick is extremely solid all around. He doesn't have the speed of Bey, Hands of Crabtree or the playmaking ability of Maclin/Harvin but he just is a solid guy that does everything well. Jack of all trades, master of none.

Devo's boy Kenny Britt might be what's ailing the Giants but he comes with his share of questions also. Britt is almost a younger carbon copy of Plaxico Burress. He is tall and lean yet physical at times. He has outstanding body control and routinely made big plays for STD U. Britt does have the primma donna attitude and takes plays off but potentially he might be has no real holes outside of the mental aspect. When motivated, he makes plays in the air or over the middle. Not blessed with blazing speed, he can still get open and behind corners. With his height and overall frame, he is a tremendous weapon in the red zone. Britt has some incredible potential and might end up being the best receiver in this draft in about 5 years or he could bust out of the league in the same way Charles Rogers did.

Below them are guys that are hits or misses depending on what depth teams are looking for. Some intriguing prospects include Patrick Turner 6' 5'' receiver from USC and Derrick Williams who was the best receiver in the nation out of high school but failed in the expectation regards. A lot of the guys in round 3,4,5 are not finished products but have upside so teams can take a flier on them. There are also some other prospects not listed that could become contributors in the NFL.

1) Micheal Crabtree / Texas Tech / Top 10

2) Jeremy Maclin / Missiouri / 1st

3) Darrius Heyward-Bey / Maryland/ 1st

4) Percy Harvin / Florida / 1st - 2nd

5) Hakeem Nicks / North Carolina / 1st - 2nd

6) Kenny Britt / Rutgers / 2nd

7) Brian Robiskie / Ohio State / 3rd

8) Juaquin Iglesias / Oklahoma / 3rd - 4th

9) Derrick Williams / Penn State / 4th

10) Jarrett Dillard / Rice / 4th

11) Patrick Turner / USC / 5th

12) Sammie Stroughter / Oregon St/ 5th

13) Deon Butler / Penn State / 5th

14) Brandon Gibson / Washington St / 5th

15) Ramses Barden / Cal Poly / 5th