Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Douchebag of the week: part II

This guy has a first name. It's D-O-U-C-H-E DOUCHE.

So seriously, I've been out of the loop for the last two weeks. I poke my head out of the sand for a minute, and everyone's talking about getting rid of fighting in hockey? What, was the popularity of Ovechkin and Crosby too much for Bettman? Is he trying to ensure that the NHL maintains a healthy competition with the WNBA for the 8th most important professional sports league? The only people who want this are people like Mike Wilbon and other blowhards who will never be strong hockey fans. Look, I know that there's crazy people out there. Hell, nearly half the population votes republican every four years. But does the NHL really think that a decrease in violence will bring more fans?

But alas, my beef is not with Bettman. At least, not this time. Stan Fischler, longtime Devil studio analyst, also known as "The Maven" (probably by people as smart as Colin Cowherd, but that's another douchebag for another time) is one of the foes of not just fighting, but one can also assume, Christmas, Ice Cream, and the Easter Bunny. And in discussing his hatred of hockey fights, Fischler unleashed this gem, "Hockey fights will never be outlawed until someone dies from a fight."

Um, ok, so I guess that means fights in hockey are here to stay? It's not that Fischler is wrong-a death that directly results from a hockey fight will surely be the end of fighting. But here's my question-can you remember the last time anyone even got hurt fighting? Cam Jannsen separated a shoulder throwing a punch a few years ago, and that's pretty much it. Hey Maven, the fighters are pros. They don't get hurt throwing punches on the ice. Now go get your fu$*king shinebox!

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