A Fairly Intelligent Preview of the Mens Big East Tournament

It's baaaack...yup, basketball finally returns to Madison Square Garden in the form of the Big East Tournament. Time for an insightful and unbiased prediction of how it's all gonna go down:

Tuesday
1st round

(9) Cincinnati vs. (16) Depaul
Don't know, don't care. Let's go with Cincy, given that they're the higher seed and all. Cincy, 90-76.

(12) Georgetown vs. (13) St. Johns
There are 11 Georgetown students I don't loathe. And they're all on the basketball team. Felipe Lopez ain't walking through that door. Georgetown, 80-62.

(10) Notre Dame vs. (15) Rutgers
The ghost of Charlie Weis will make his post-surgery-but-amazingly-still-massive impression felt. But did you see ND football last year? This is not a positive for Notre Dame. Rutgers, 69-60.

(11) Seton Hall vs. (14) South Florida
It's Jeremy Hazell's world. We're just living in it. And yes, I had to look up that name, but he's apparently pretty good. Seton Hall, 72-70


Wednesday
2nd round

(8) Providence vs. (9) Cincinnati
Amazingly indifferent, so tie goes to the team that can include God Shamgod as alumni. Providence 59-52.

(5) Marquette vs. (12) Georgetown
Screw it. Georgetown gets another win in honor of Roy Hibbert. Georgetown 61-60.

(7) West Virginia vs. (15) Rutgers
Joe (Jack) Alexander is not walking through the door. State University of New Jersey (SUNJ) gets revenge for the yearly ass-kickings in football and pittsnogles WVU back to Morgantown. Rutgers 78-72.

(6) Syracuse vs. (11) Seton Hall
Sure, Seton Hall loses this game, but let the record show that a SHU intramural football team would still beat Syracuse's sad excuse of a football team. Syracuse 80-60.

Thursday (3rd round)
(1) Louisville vs. (8) Providence
God (Shamgod) can't save you now. Louisville 85-72.

(4) Villanova vs. (12) Georgetown
Villanova wins and Georgetown students have to drown their sorrows in their 'element'-excluded gated community of a campus. Douchebags. 'Nova 95-68.

(2) Pittsburgh vs. (15) Rutgers
McDonalds All-American Mike Rosario, pictured above, says hi. The SUS reader may not know him yet, but after this game? You will. SUNJ 65-64.

(3) UConn vs. (6) Syracuse
Devendorf, in snowbelt speak, means douchebag. UConn 80-78

Semifinals

(1) Louisville vs. (4) Villanova
Louisville is overrated. But 'Nova is constantly slightly better than average and nothing more. Louisville 68-65

(3) UConn vs. (15) Rutgers
What, you think this game is going to be close? Please. SUNJ rolls, 99-48.

Finals
(1) Louisville vs. (15) Rutgers
So the tidal wave of momentum at SUNJ should stop against Louisville, why n0w? Yeah, not happening.
SUNJ TAKES THEIR RIGHTFUL PLACE IN THE NCAA TOURNAMENT, 104-2.

And there you have it! Pandemonium returns to Piscataway!