Sunday, September 21, 2008

Top 10 things not said by John Sterling and Michael Kay in introducing ex-Yankee greats on this THE LAST NIGHT OF YANKEE STADIUM

10. This man was widely regarded as one of the all time great contact hitters, but many of you remember him as the man who once drank 64 beers on a cross country flight...Wade Boggs!

9. This man had one of the greatest moments in Yankee/Red Sox history until the ultimate 2004 collapse made it all moot. After his home run, one fateful game of pickup basketball made it possible for New Yorkers to find a target for all of their pent up anger...Aaron Boone!

8. Considered to have speed matched only by his selfishness, his greatest contributions to the Yankees occurred in 2007 when he, as a Mets assistant coach, almost singlehandedly ruined Jose Reyes' career...Rickey Henderson!

7. This man made a post-baseball career out of being stupid enough to create lovable sayings that make no sense...Yogi Berra!

6. Some would call this man a born winner and leader who helped return the Yankees to glory. I like to think of him the best masturbator the Mets' Bullpen ever saw...David Cone!

5. These next two Yankees were not great, but in fact represented the low point in the Steinbrenner Era. They are here tonight because a security guard was not doing his job...Alvaro Espinosa and Mel Hall!

4. Let's give a big FU to the Mets by welcoming back 2nd baseman, Willie Randolph!

3. Next, the man who so loved being a Yankee that in 1998, he decided to sign with the Yankees over the Red Sox because the Yankees offered more money...Bernie Williams!

2. This man is considered to be a true Yankee, part of the glory years, even though one has to look hard to find more than one or two big playoff moments associated with this man...Jorge Posada!

1. The man responsible for this being the last game in Yankee Stadium history...Joe Girardi!


White Boy South Bronx said...

(1)I love how now every time Willie celebrates his years as a quality second baseman for the Yankees; it is somehow an clear attempt to say fuck you to the Mets. Willie got fired, what is he supposed to do, sit home and cry over the horrid pen he handed over to Manuel?

(2) Can you blame Cone, who doesn't get hard around John Franco and Jessie Orosco.

devo said...

Thing with Randolph, he was a very good Yankee, but he wasn't Reggie or Munson. He was basically somewhere between Roy White and Graig Nettles as a player. But yet he gets a huge ovation from the fans. It says more about the Yankee fans than it does Willie.

White Boy South Bronx said...

That they (not me because I aint old enough) liked him as a player when he was here and/or they hate white people?

solo said...

by far my fave article of yours... not that it's necessarily better than any others, but i crapped my pants a few times while reading it... unfortunately i also did this prior to putting on some depends

devo said...

Solo, thank you. But you should thank my unemployment, without which I would have been unable to channel this sort of bitterness.