NFL Regular Season Awards (Part 3, I promise we're done) Devo v. Mahatma who ya got?

Coach of the Year

Devo: (Bill Belichek) Leading a team to a dominant 8-0 is one thing. That’s been done before. 16-0, that’s only been done once before. It has to be Belichek. Hey Mercury Morris, they’re in your house and I think they just killed your dog.

Mahatma: (Mike McCarthy) Once Mr. Spy Camera was involved, I’d say let’s go with LEGIT coaches. Wah, Belichek’s team is undefeated but still. He cheated and cost his team a draft choice against the f’n Jets. THE JETS PEOPLE. It’s the same crap last year when Shawn “Look Ma, no roids” Merriman was in contention for Defensive player of the year despite cheating. Not to mention, Belichek’s coaching speaks for itself. Even the brain trust at ESPN favored the Patriots to win the Superbowl at the beginning of the season. McCarthy took a band of losers, castoffs and draft picks and got them way closer than anyone imagined.

Final Word: (McCarthy) Either Pioli or Belichek has to get an award. Let’s give it to Belichek. I know we’re supposed to pick this based on the regular season, but that Giants game is still too fresh in my mind. (Noone said we were an unbiased source.)

GM of the Year

Devo: (Scott Pioli) Under the “No team can have the Coach of the Year and GM of the year” rule that I’m currently instituting, I’m going to go away from Pioli, even if he deserves it. I’ve said in an earlier column how all of the Giants’ draft picks are contributing to the team. Ross, Steve Smith, Kevin Boss, Ahmad Bradshaw, and Michael Johnson are all key contributors to this team, with the other draft picks also seeing action. Kawika Mitchell has turned into a more than steady contributor to the front 7, and Luke Petitgout is out for the season, Lavar Arrington’s season is over, and I have no idea if Carlos Emmons is even alive. Jerry Reese, my bad, I was wrong. You get the GM of the Year. Or at least, Rookie GM of the Year.

Mahatma: (Phil Savage) You know I have no beef with giving the award to Reese either but this is in reference to the regular season right? At the end of that, Smith, Bradshaw, etc. were not seen as the key contributors they were now. As a result, you still have to give it to Pioli.

Final Word: (Pioli) Jerry Reese, I was wrong. You did a helluva job with this Giants team, got them in position to hit up the Super Bowl, and for that, you should be applauded. Oh, and after the Patriots game, Ross, Smith, Boss, Bradshaw, and Johnson had all contributed to the team in fairly substantial ways.

Disappointing Player of the Year

Devo: (Shaun Alexander) Earlier this year I wrote that Shaun Alexander is no better than Derrick Ward. I was wrong. Shaun Alexander is waaayyyy worse than Derrick Ward. As one of the remaining Giant fans who are cool with Tiki, I can’t help but feel that Alexander should be forced to give his rushing titles and MVP awards to Tiki.

Mahatma: (Joey Porter) See okay, Alexander was banged up and sucked ass last year too. Not to mention the fact that the man is in his 30s now and the shelf life for running backs usually end when you are about 30. So I don’t know if he was truly as highly rated going into the season to begin with. My pick because I love kicking a man when he’s down: Carson “3rd best QB in Football” Palmer. Rosy was supposed to lead that great Bung attack to unprecedented heights and into the playoffs. What Cressly provided was only 26 tds and 20 INTS. Not to mention, Palmer continues to solidify himself as the anti-clutch vacuum. Palmer showed a lack of accuracy all over the field consistently missing Doucheman, Chode and Piss Henry, none of whom are midget receivers.

Final Word: (Alexander) Good points with Carson. But because Alexander is such a fraud, let’s make them Straight Up Sports co-Disappointing Players of the Year.

Disappointing Team of the Year

Devo: (Philly) With many runners-up for this award (looking your way, Miami, San Francisco) I have to give this award to the Lions. They started out playing so well, and then, as one of many teams to disrespect the Giants, (looking your way, Wade Phillips) they managed to go 1-7 in the final 8 games. Matt Millen went from being hailed as a Danny Ainge-esque GM who needed a few years to reach his goals, to uh, being the same Matt Millen that we all came to know and love.

Mahatma: (San Diego) For the record, I did think they would turn it around also but the Charg did suck ass the first half of the year. For most disappointing team of the year, is there any question that it is the Baltimore Ratbirds? At the midpoint of the season, they were 4-4 and still had some hopes of a wildcard. The great coaching of Brian BiLLLLLLLLLLLick led the Rats to an outstanding 1-7 record the last half of the season.

Final Word: (San Diego) Yeah, you’re right. The Lions sucked this year, but the Ravens completely embarrassed themselves. In more ways than one, the inmates ran the prison. After the New England game this team became even more of a joke than they were previously. On a team with Kyle Boller, that’s saying something.