Well another NFL regular season has ended. (Dude, it ended like 3 weeks ago. Where the hell you been?) And along those lines, it’s time to give out the 53rd annual Straight Up Sports NFL Regular Season Awards, as brought to you, as always, by Devo and Mahatma in point/counterpoint/final word format. Not all of our awards are here, as we're going to do this over the course of roughly 4-5 consecutive days. So once again, Devo vs. Mahatma, who ya got? Let’s do it!
(Half season choices in parentheses.)
Offensive MVP (AFC)
Devo: (Tom Brady) Tom Brady, who certainly is offensive. If he throws for better than 22 of 25 in the Super Bowl, it’ll kill every Giants fan who holds onto Phil Simms’ “Biggest performance on the biggest stage” record setting Super Bowl performance like it’s their fountain of youth.
Mahatma: (Brady) He broke all the records, bangs a hot actress and drops his demon seed in her, dumps her and goes with an even hotter supermodel and gosh darn it he’s loved by Jim Nantz and Phil Simms. Thankfully, Nantz and Simms won’t be doing commentary in this game but I’m sure Joe Buck and Aikman will assume the position.
Final Word: (Brady) YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT PHIL SIMMS! PHIL SIMMS IS A SAINT! (I think Brady wins this.)
Offensive MVP (NFC)
Devo: (Brett Favre) Todd Collins! (Just kidding.) But seriously, Favre had one of his greatest seasons of his career at his age. Gotta give it to him, though his ex-understudy, Hasselbeck had himself a damn solid second half of the season and might even place 2nd in this category.
Mahatma: (Favre) I’ll stick with Favre, though an argument can be made for (Pre Jessica Simpson) Homo as well. Ryan Grant’s second half resurgence should take votes away from Favre and give it to Homo but that would screw up the “one-team-can-only-have-one MVP” rule that we have instituted. Favre’s play was a reason the Pack emerged out of the NFC and if John Madden loves him than he must be an MVP.
Final Word: (Favre) Oh we’ll give the award to Favre, but only after we show this nugget from the mid-season awards:
Devo: “But I also think the Packers will eventually fall from grace, either in the 2nd half of the season or in an early playoff round." How prophetic that ended up being.
Stay tuned tomorow for more awards.