Saturday, February 14, 2009

What Really Grinds my gears: The Love-Hate edition

1) I love White Girl but I hate valentine's day- Yea, I said it. I just can't stand how much pressure there is on Valentine's day. Everyone asks you what you are doing for it. People, mainly other women in your life (Mrs. White boy Senior) don't think whatever you are doing for her is enough. You are afraid to get the wrong card, the wrong gift and to mess up your first ever attempt at cooking (Okay, so that just applies to my lazy ass). I am actually quite the romantic but I like being one in subtle ways and at unexpected times. Having a day where everyone expects you to do something special for your girl is a lot of pressure. Oy.

2) I love the Knicks but I hate this team- This is, without a doubt, the most frustrating Knicks team I have ever rooted for. Don't get me wrong, it is clearly not the worst Knicks team I have ever rooted for (See Thomas, Isiaih) but at least that team won games that were close and just got blown out the other 59 games. This team could have won about 10 more games if it just closed out half of the games it had leads in during the final 120 seconds of the contest. Al Harrington, Jamal Crawford you are not. Jamal had the penchant for hitting the buzzer beater and an ability to calmly knock down what I would call "putaway" shots; that is, shots that take the lead from 2-4 or 4-7 to put other teams away. Harrington has scored a lot for the Knicks but has not once hit a significant shot in the final two minutes of a close game to either win it or put the game away. His hanging on the rim technical foul up 3 with 20 seconds to go in the red and blue Staples center was one of the more inexcusable basketball acts I have seen a Knick make and that is saying something. Now, on a 6 game losing streak heading into the all star festivities, I can only look to April 6th when the Yanks open up in Baltimore.

3) I hated A-rod but now I love A-rod, sort of- I hate sports fans. I just hate you all. How can people be so devastated by the A-rod thing. Haven't these callers ever seen their beloved dog or pet pass away slowly? Haven't they ever been fired from a job? Haven't they ever had a loved one get sick or pass away? What I am trying to say is, how can you possibly be this devastated by the A-rod thing. Sports are not sacrasanct!!! They never were. Don't you think the all white MLB players of the 30's and 40's would have gladly taken Steroids and HGH if they were around back then?? Also, if Steroids were legal, would you have any problems with them? Just because something is against the law or the rules does not make it morally wrong. If this were the case, Martin Luther King, Ghandi and Muhammed Ali would all be considered evil men instead of the heroes they are revered as today. Don't get me wrong, unlike these great men, A-rod is a huuuuuuuuuuuuge prick. Hyuuuuuuuuge. But that is because he slept around on his poor pregnant wife, not because he put something into his body that would make you enjoy watching him more. Come back to me people. Please!!!!!!!!

4) I love great, in-game, dunks but I hate the modern version of the Dunk Contest- The dunk contest has long outlived its usefulness. I will watch it tonight with Whitegirl but I'm sure it will suck. I like Natey but Evan Roberts is right, his novelty has worn off. There really aren't any dunks left that are that exciting to watch. The misses on the first attempt or 15 (see Robinson, Nate 2006) completely ruins the excitement of the dunk when it finally is completed successfully. Also, when we were watching Kobe and Vince and Jordan it was riveting. I don't need to see Josh Smith and a bunch of mediocre NBA players dunking. I would however, loveeeee to see a 1 on 1 competition. How much fun would it have been to watch Kobe vs. Shaq a few years ago before Shaq got horribly old and slow? How much fun now would it be to watch Kobe take on Lebron? I do, however, love the three point shootout because watching great shooting is riveting to me.

5) I love Barack Obama but I hate the embarassment that is the Cabinent mess- Yo, B, what the fuck man? I trusted you to properly vet your cabinet members so that there would be no messy "oops, sorry guys, didn't know he/she had this skeleton in the closet." Well we are now on our third secretary of commerce and your original pick for Secretary of Health and Human Services apparently didn't pay all of his taxes or some shit. I thought you were going to be the most overly prepared and careful president we were going to have in my lifetime. So far, you have actually had more foul ups along these lines early on than most of your predecessors. I expect better from you B.

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