Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Avery to resume 'sloppy seconds' with Rangers

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

There comes a time when all team's must either nut up or shut up. Time to make that run for the playoffs or make that run to the draft choice.

As the teams flounder, mess up and flail at every opportunity, a guiding light appears from the skies. This angel. This savior. This messiah. The legend. Each with the opportunity to get him.

Except the only problem with that is Avery is now back with the evil Rangers. Let's look at some pros and cons at the return of one of SUS's favorites.


The same asshole we bashed with reckless abandon is now back to where we grew to love him. Back rocking his red, white and blue puke jersey, Avery will soon be seen skating down Broadway. I gotta say just when I needed a jolt to jump start my hating again, Avery and the Rangers come through as only they can. I'll admit I was getting a little soft with the whole Steelers winning so any opportunity to return to my bitter past help.

As I've long stated, hockey needs more villains and having Avery back is a breathe of fresh air. Sure, after a couple of stories, I'll become annoyed with him again but for now it's good for Avery to be back. Something about him being in Dallas never quite worked out for anyone involved. Sure controversy followed but it just wasn't the same. Avery is a New York guy. He's not a Dallas guy. He can't intern at Vogue there. He can swap fashion tips with Jerry Jones.


1) It makes the Rangers stronger. Yes your New York Rangers are busy speed dialing the Dallas Stars in an attempt to get back their Vogue-interning hero back. Why? Avery was for the most part a good citizen on the Rangers and a damn good player. While much has been made of Avery's butchering of the Good ol' Dallas Stars chemistry, he did quite the opposite for the Rangers. Now that Avery has left, the Rags are once again in a state of flux despite having one of the more talented teams in the Eastern conference. The Rangers currently are also in a worse state of flux. Changing of "strategy" has yielded the same results. Unending line changes haven't found the right mix. The players have tuned out the coach. Morale is low. Some say acquiring Avery would destroy the chemistry as he did with the Stars. What if there is no chemistry to destroy? By grabbing him again, the Rangers are giving their own floundering team the boost of energy they need.

2) The team toughness Rangers had last year is now filled with guys that are soft as a new pillow (Zherdev, Naslund, Redden) while the toughness last year (Shanahan, Avery) were sent packing. Reacquiring Avery will give the top 6 some added toughness. Avery fights in the corners and does well in front of the net. These sort of guys are vital to long playoff runs.

3) Scoring depth -- People call Avery a glorified 3rd liner with attitude but he is actually a fairly skilled hockey player. Armed with above average wheels, a decent shot and some finishing ability. It's not like he's TO and pouts at the slightest bit of trouble. Avery does work hard. Not only that but he is the game's best agitator. He is a pest and gets the best players off their game.

4) No lose situation -- so you acquire Avery and you still suck and move one step closer to acquiring the "next-next-next-one" John Tavares.

Damn, this totally brings the Rangers back into the fore front on paper. Whether he can mesh with his new teammates is another story but all of us, Penguins, Flyers (Douches), Devils fans should be worried. If anything, he would provide some drama and entertainment, which today's lifeless Rangers need. I'm just pissed the Penguins didn't sign him. Ah well, at least I can use this photoshop again.

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