Sunday, February 8, 2009

Football Final Thoughts

So the football season has finally ended, and it has done so in a great victory as the Pittsburgh Steelers emerged victorious making a full half of the SUS staff happy and in need of cleaning their pants. But as we shut down our football thoughts until free agency and concentrate on other sports such as hockey (which yours truly is finding incredibly frustrating because of the Penguins, but that’s another story), we of course need to get our final thoughts in.

The Steelers Offensive Line Held
Who the hell would have thought this? After getting owned all year round by nearly every team, the offensive line, as effective as a French military defense, actually held their own during the last few games of the season and the playoffs to help pull off the Super Bowl win. Now don't get me wrong, they still stink and need a revamp, but it’s just amazing the Steelers were able to win with such mediocrity up front. They have to be smart and not rest on their laurels and get some help for Ben.

Ken Whisenhunt made me hate him
I’ve never harbored ill will to cheese Whiz (though Mahatma has had enough for both of us not to mention every non Whisenhunt hater), but for whatever reason just seeing that man pissed me off during the SB. I don't know what it was, but seeing him was like instant hate. I wanted to punch him. But everything turned out okay and he went home crying.

Ray Ray wants his Pay Pay
For those that haven’t heard, Ray Lewis, who murdered two people and got away with it (just like OJ mind you), has publicly stated he is not willing to take a pay cut to stay with the Ratbirds. I have to say I’m surprised. I mean all we ever hear about this man is how good a captain he is and that he is a good person etc. And you’d think maybe after earning around $50mm in his previous contracts that he would say “hey, maybe I’ll take a million or two less to stay with the team I love and been the center of for a decade.” Nope. I have nothing against s player trying to get the most money, but I’m hoping Ratbird fans finally wake up and see “geez, maybe he really isn’t the good guy we thought he was and have been defending, and really is the selfish murderer that everyone says he is.”

Pendergast gets the Shaft
Clancy Pendergast, in addition to having a name that made him the butt end of many jokes during his pre-college school years, was handed another shot to the sack by being fired as the Cardinals defensive coordinator. Had the Cardinals held on the Steelers final drive he’d have a job, but instead Whisenhunt made him the scapegoat and gave him a pink slip. Never mind the fact it was the fifth time THIS SEASON Roethlisberger helmed a fourth quarter comeback win, it was Pendergast’s fault. Whiz said they wanted to do it now so he still had time to get a job, despite the fact many teams have already filled their vacancies. Nice job there Whiz.

Mike Tomlin is the Shaft of the NFL
This man is just awesome. While most coaches jump up and down yelling “I won the Super Bowl!” Tomlin walks calmly with authority, raising his arms in the air saying “you’re damn right I just won the Super bowl!” like you doubted he ever would. And speaking of Tomlin…

We can Officially call him a great coach
And I base this solely on the fact that Bill Cowher is considered a great coach. Cowher won a single title in his fifteen years, and it only took Tomlin two years to do it. Tomlin also accomplished something Cowher was never able to: not horribly choking in and AFC Championship game. So the way I see it is, if Cowher is considered a great coach based on what amounts to a single accomplishment, then there is no reason Tomlin shouldn’t be considered a great coach for doing it in a fraction of the time.

Fitzgerald is awesome
And any doubts you could have had were wiped out during the Super Bowl. Man is just great, and a good person to boot. If you don't want him on your team there is something wrong with you.

That San Antonio guy for the Steelers is pretty good too
Santonio Holmes took the MVP of the game, even though I think Ben should have taken it by the slightest of margins. Still, he helped make that last drive with his catches and he came through. Mahatma hasn’t stop his exulting of Santonio since he was drafted, and I think he had to throw out his pants after the drive.

Anquon Boldin proves he’s full of shit
Boldin said that the damage done between him and the Cardinals is irreparable, and that it’s nothing to do with money. Anquon has apparently forgotten that, despite signing a binding contract, the whole situation started when he began to demand more money. He’s says they didn’t hold up their part of the bargain, which was to negotiate to give him more money. So how is it that despite the whole situation revolving around money it’s not about the money? I get your point Anquon but the fact is it all started with you wanting a bigger payday, and that makes it about the money whether you feel wronged or not.

Raiders make Jim Cable full head coach, schedule press conference on November 12 to announce his firing
People must be desperate for jobs if at this point they're willing to go or stay with the Raiders. After seeing what Al Davis did with Kiffin how can anyone want to deal with that? Especially how it has come out that he still calls down plays and wants everything done his way. Will anyone be surprised if Cable is fired before the year is out?

Dan Rooney is in fact dead
Have you seen this man? He looks like a freakin’ puppet the way he moves. There is just no life to this man at all, and I swear at times I can see the puppet strings used to make him move. I think it would be sweet if the guy they used to do his voiceover was replaced with Peter Cullen doing Optimus Prime’s voice. Oh, and thanks Dan for thanking the fans that have helped make the Steelers AFTER you thanked your new pal President Obama. Douche.
James Harrison is your new God.
Bow before him, just like the entire Caridnals offense:

For the 43rd year in a row, the Refs won the Super Bowl for a team
It’s absurd now. Every freaking year we have to hear how the winning teams best player on the field was the twelth man: the referee. They continue to list the missed calls against the winning team yet never mentioned the missed calls against the losers. Tell in, helping the Steelers why didn’t the refs call Kurt Warner for removing his helmet on field when they called James Farrior for it? Why was Fitzgerald not penalized for running out of bounds then tackling James Harrison? You never hear these things because they people that claim this are idiots. Refs are bad. Always have been, always will be. It’s called human error. Get over it. I’m sick of hearing the same bullshit excuses every year, especially since those making the claims blatantly ignore evidence to the contrary.

Finally I’d just like to say what a calendar year it’s been for SUS football. First the Giants against all odds pull out a last minute win against the ever classless and cheating Patriots, and a year later the Steelers come up with a last minute “my god we almost choked the game away” drive nearly identical to beat the Arizona “would someone please care about us” Cardinals. Of course, should the Steelers and Giants ever meet in the Super Bowl, the website just may tear itself apart.

And One More Thing

This isn’t football related, but also not worthy of its own post. Tiger Woods announced this week that his is practicing ”full blow” in order to return. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: It’s fucking golf! What are you doing Tiger, playing 18 holes instead of nine? How excruciating that must be for you. This again lends credence to my theory that Tiger Woods is in fact not a human but actually a giant vagina.


Anonymous said...

Great nfl thoughts yinzer though I am the first SUSer to use the Tomlin Shaft comparison I think before you joined on though?

Whiteboy on doucheberry

The Brooklyn Hillbilly said...

about Tomlin=great: does brian billick get that distinction too? or can these labels be lost? I just started reading the "next man up" about the ravens in 04. I somehow hate them more and less at the same time

The Yinzer said...

Whiteboy- thanks. And yeah, I know I'm not the first to use it. Tomlin is definitely like Shaft.

BH- it's not so much a "Tomlin is great" point rather than a "Cowher isnt great" point. I get tired of people calling Cowher great when his failures exceed his single triumph, and that if people call Cowher great Tomlin, and absically anyone else that won a singel SB like Billick as you point out, should also be there. But I believe that's a crock, so Cowher shouldnt be considered great.