If the boobs cant fit, you must acquit

We here at SUS try our best to keep you updated on breaking legal news around the globe. Today, we have the story of Japanese bikini model Serena Kozakura.




Last year Serena goes over to her boyfriends house and stumbles upon him with another lady-friend. Well, not exactly stumbled, as she was locked out of the apartment. So she did what any woman in a similar circumstance would do, she kicked a hole in the door and crawled inside to bitch him out. Well, evidently two people saw her wriggle through the hole and testified against her in court. Girl(woman, shes 38) got 14 MONTHS in jail for that shit. As an aside, thats an insane sentence, waaaaay too harsh. Anyway, she appealed the sentence and her lawyer Johnichiko Cochoransan found the perfect defense: Her boobs are too big(44in!) to fit through the door. And guess what, it worked! Homegirl was set free to giggle her giant funbags on the outside instead of getting them pimped out for coke and cigarettes in Japanese prison. Lets go to the videotape:




Now, I cant understand 99.99% of this video but I do know it doesnt get much better than seeing the reenactment of this incident (bout 3:30 on the vid) and this chick getting the same look on her face that OJ had when he couldnt get that glove on(he tried so hard!) at his trial. That and the camera keeps panning down to her chest during the news conference, obviously for purely news-related purposes. Im just happy to see the justice system in Japan works and crazy bitches like this are still free to kick down doors when the need arises, as long as they have massive hooters.

Props to dlisted.com