I Had No Idea You Guys Could Read: A SUS Book Review of The GM

First things first. Book reviews aren’t going to be a common occurrence here on SUS. But The GM fits into the SUS theme, whatever the hell that is. This book spends about 3/5 of the time talking about Accorsi’s last season as Giants GM in ’06, 1/5 of the book talking about Accorsi’s early years and 1/5 of the book talking about Accorsi’s previous front office jobs. I consciously stayed away from this book for a while because frankly, I hated the ’06 Giants. Me and my Giants entourage (my dad, White Boy) were convinced that Accorsi mortgaged the future of the franchise to draft Fredo Manning. A Super Bowl victory later, I’m ready to read about the GM who drafted Elijah “The Prophet” Manning.

So this book was awesome. I read the entire book while in Barnes and Noble one afternoon, a feat which I accomplished once before with Michael Lewis’ The Blind Side. Ok, I didn’t read all of it; I started reading every chapter, but after a while I stuck with the chapters about this year’s Giants. And Accorsi was amazingly candid in talking about the Giants players, coaches, and organization. He also revealed a lot of things that would surprise most Giants fans. Here are some anecdotes:

-As of the morning of the 2004 draft, the Giants weren't talking to San Diego about swapping picks. The Giants were set to trade down with Cleveland to the #7 pick. My guess is that Cleveland would’ve picked Rivers and the Giants would’ve taken Big Ben. Only when the Giants were on the clock did San Diego call and talk about swapping picks.

-Apparently the day after the draft, Kerry Collins stormed into Accorsi’s office demanding a trade. I only hope that this was similar to Major League, with Rick Vaughn’s entrance into Lou Brown’s office after Vaughn thought he was cut. “You aint seen the last of me Mr. Accorsi. Next time I play against you, I’m going to STICK IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS!”

-Back in 1991 when Parcells quit, Coughlin, the wide receivers coach was offered the head coaching job. For the record, the job also could’ve gone to Belichek, but he went to Cleveland before Parcells quit. More on Parcells below.

-There’s a chapter discussing Accorsi going to Ada, Oklahoma to meet with Shockey before the ’02 draft. It was a cool chapter but what stuck out to me was the U’s championship roster: Shockey, Ed Reed, Bryant McKinnie, Philip Buchanon, Mike Rumph, and Clinton Portis. That’s practically the entire first round of the '02 draft. And both Shockey and Accorsi thought that all but Rumph would be good pros. They were right.

-In 1997 the Giants were about 5 minutes away from hiring Parcells over Fassel. Both owners needed to sign off on any head coach. Mara wanted to bring Parcells back, but Tisch didn’t want to do it. As George Young was going to Fassel’s hotel room to offer him the job, Tisch changed his mind and said that they should go ahead and offer the job to Parcells. So they called Fassel’s room and spoke to George Young. They asked Young if he had offered Fassel the job yet. If he said no, they would’ve told him to abort. But Young had offered Fassel the job, and Tisch and Mara had too much class to rescind the offer, so Fassel it was. For the record, George Young said he would’ve quit if they hired Parcells. And it’s funny, as great as Parcells is, as much as he would’ve improved the franchise in the late 90’s, I have more respect for the Giants organization for never bringing him back. It’s kinda like turning down a date with a hot but needy ex-girlfriend: sure, she’s everything you want in a woman, but she really screwed you over in the past and it’s fun to give it back to her. Apparently Parcells has inquired about the Giants vacancies every time they've switched coaches.

-When did I know that I truly loved this book? When Accorsi said that he was furious with Coughlin for his moves in the Bears game and the Titans games last year. Accorsi immediately knew that calling a time out at the end of the 1st half when the Bears had 3rd and 22 was a mistake. A Thomas Jones screen pass and Devin Hester kickoff return later, he proved to be right. He was also blown away that Coughlin kept passing up 17 to the Titans in the 4th quarter. Good to see that our GM hated Coughlin as much as I did last year.

-Lastly, there's a touching scene the day after the playoff loss to the Eagles when Accorsi, his GM duties done, is addressing each player individually. Very poignant. He addressed all the players, and eventually got to Tim Carter, saying "you'll reach your potential some day," before moving on to another guy. 3 players later, Tim Carter said, "Damn you're quitting?" to which an unknown player said "where you been, you dumb motherfucker." Never has a player exemplified his 60 awareness rating in Madden like Tim Carter. Here's to you, Tim Carter, Most. Overrated. Madden Receiver. Ever.