Tuesday, April 28, 2009

SWINE FLU MADNESS


What the hell type of shit is this. It's amazing outside. The girls are out. The dudes are out. Places are filled again. The Park is loaded. The streets are filled. Life's good.

Until word that some punk kids who went to Mexico have now brought some mutant disease with them which has now infected half of Queens and sent the nation and this city in a panic. Literally, everyone is talking about the Swine Flu. It's become the new topic at the water cooler. With every passing sick day, the Swine Flu witch hunt is in full effect. Does he have the swine flu is echoe'd throughout the halls. But think about all the other nonsense.

Do you really want to ride the subway now? Who knows who or what touched the railing your putting your hand on. It's pure madness and is for the record, driving me insane. I've seen various individuals walking around with masks and wearing gloves. Is this a movie? Will some of us turn into zombies? Will we the infected have to be quarantined?

The flu apparently lives on surfaces for up to 72 hours so things like dollar bills can carry it for 3 days. Not to mention doorknobs in public buildings, faucet knobs, hand rails on a bus or subway. To top it off it's a totally new strain and we know very little about it. Course some heads are saying wah wah wah we'll be fine but DUDE we know nothing about it. Do people get that Spring Break more or less happened across the country in the last 2-3 weeks. This is going to spread like wild fire from anyone who went to Mexico for spring break.


So pardon me, as I bid thee adieu and run off to the mountains of Pennsylvania where I'll hide for few weeks. Actually screw it, there are two game 7s tonight. And no spawn of the baconator is going to keep me away.

4 comments:

Drew said...

The answer is simple, slaughter every last pig in mexico, and hold the world's biggest ever BBQ. Then use the proceeds to stop the shit from spreading anywhere else!

Girl Out of Cleveland said...

Egypt actually proposed to do just that... well minus the bbq part... and they don't even have swine flu there yet

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090429/ap_on_he_me/ml_egypt_swine_flu

This whole thing annoys the crap out of me. People are only freaking out because they gave it a name. If there was news story that said "100 people have the flu", everyone would be like so what... but because we're calling it "swine flu" people are freaking out...

Anonymous said...

The more this gets talked about, the more I crave a pulled pork sandwich.
-devo

Drew said...

I got BBQ pork for lunch yesterday and damn it was good.

Too bad Egypt probably won't share the love with the needy, we could have world peace if there were more insanely large BBQs.