The Doucehbags of Hockey- Western Conference Edition

Admittedly I completely forgot to post the western conference portion of this article after I posted the Eastern conferece. So without further delay I bring to you the hockey doucehbags of the Western Conference:



Central Division

Chicago Blackhawks
David Koci- he’s always out acting tough and starting shit.
Honorable Mentions- Martin Havlat for kicking almost as much as a place kicker
Team Douche Level: 2


Columbus Blue Jackets
Nicholai Zherdev- because he always acts like a selfish, spoiled brat.
Honorable Mentions- Rick Nash cause he isn’t as much as a power forward as he makes himself out to be
Team Douche Level: 2


Detroit Red Wings
Chris Chelios- was there ever any doubt? I mean there isn’t one good thing to say about this guy. Everything he does is douche.
Honorable Mentions- Dominic Hasek, Pavel Datsyuk for always choking in the playoffs
Team Douche Level: 7


Nashville Predators
Darcy Hordichuk- all he does is hit from behind. No really, that’s all he actually does.
Honorable Mentions- Jordin Tootoo: ear biter
Team Douche Level: 6


St. Louis Blues
Keith Tkachuk- because his legacy will always be coming to camp 22 lbs. overweight. Fucking fat ass.
Team Douche Level: 2



Northwest Division

Calgary Flames
Mike Keenan- again an exception because this guy is about as much of as douchebag as you can get
Honorable Mentions- Owen Nolan for playing dirty to make up for his lost scoring touch, Wayne Primeau because he sucked for the Pens and I hate his brother
Team Douche Level: 6


Colorado Avalanche
Peter Forsberg- he dives all the time then points out others who he claims do it. Pot, meet kettle.
Honorable Mentions- Ryan Smyth cause he cries like a bitch, Ian Laperriere
Team Douche Level: 5


Edmonton Oilers
Dwayne Roloson- he hangs out and sides with Chelios on a regular basis, that’s enough for me
Honorable Mentions- Joni Pitkanen because he used to be on the Flyers,
Team Douche Level: 3


Minnesota Wild
Todd Fedoruk- the guy has tried to attack people on their way to the locker room, that’s a douche
Honorable Mentions- Derek Boogaard, Jaques Lemaire for being so boring
Team Douche Level: 4


Vancouver Canucks
Trevor Linden- seriously, hang them up already
Honorable Mentions- Markus Naslund
Team Douche Level: 3



Pacific Division

Anaheim Ducks
Todd Bertuzzi- he broke a guys neck on purpose, that gives him a life time douche award
Honorable Mentions- George Parros for his 70’s moustache, most the team cause they always want to fight
Team Douche Level: 8


Dallas Stars
Mike Modano- during the lockout he claimed he needed the money because his dog needed to eat. That’s a good way to win people over to your side after making $9mm the previous year.
Honorable Mentions- Mike Ribiero who looks the part, Krys Barch
Team Douche Level: 4


LA Kings
Dan Cloutier- for letting in every shot from the blue line and beyond
Honorable Mentions- Scott Thornton, Marc Crawford for actually thinking Cloutier is a good goalie
Team Douche Level: 3


Phoenix Coyotes
Wayne Gretzky- once a douche, always a douche
Honorable Mentions- Daniel Carcillo, Ed Jovonovski the “big hitter”
Team Douche Level: 5


San Jose Sharks
Jeremy Roenick- one of the biggest douchebags ever. Hits from behind and won’t man up, but as soon as he gets hit he cries to mommy and anyone else who will listen. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg, its really too much to fully explain for this man. And in case you didnt know, that's him in the picture above.
Honorable Mentions- Joe Thornton, Ron Wilson
Team Douche Level: 6