Pens-Sens Game 1

Well, if your a Sens fan this isnt really an article for you, but that's not the point. Attending the game last night I had almost forgotten why playoff hockey is so damn great. It's just another beast entirely. I've been from everything to baseball and football playoff games, and sans the Superbowl itself, nothing can tough the greatness of a playoff hockey game.

The intensity is insane. Yeah, it's kind of cliched but hockey players become possessed when on the ice. Football players are naturally nasty and I'm not going to take anything away from them. But hockey players tend to be the nicest guys off the ice. On the ice they revert back to basic human tendencies and become animals. Playoff hockey takes it up a notch, like as in every player just got injected with adrenaline, testosterone and roids before they hit the ice. They're fast, nastier and just all in all more aggressive. You throw swords and shields onto the ice and I have no doubt they would drop their sticks and start hacking at eachother like it was gladiatorial combat.

The crowd is also something else. Yeah, football stadiums can have five times or more the capacity of a hockey arena, but being in such an enclosed space filled with a bunch of screaming fans who are screaming out of sheer joy that is not alcohol induced is something else. The fandom is so into it the aura is thick enough you can cut it with a knife (yeah, another cliche, I know...).

But let me give you some specific examples of why this game rocked.


Ryan Whitney beats the crap out of Wade Redden
These were the words written in the TSN article:
“Ottawa's frustration boiled over with 3:25 to go when defenceman Wade Redden got into a pushing match with Crosby, which immediately got Redden the attention of Ryan Whitney. The Penguins blue-liner pounded Redden in a one-side fight that neatly summed up the evening.”

The “neatly summed up the evening” is a nice touch as it gets across how vitriol a playoff game can be. But what I want to point out is the part about Ryan Whitney, whose spring line of purses just hit the shelves. Whitney is 6’4”, 219 lbs of pure vagina. You know when you see a movie and some 25 year old guy tries to mug an 80 year old woman only to get beat up by her hand bag? Well getting beat up by Ryan Whitney is the NHL equivalent of that, and Mahatma and Devo will back me up on it. Not that Redden is a tough guy, but it takes a lot for Whitney to muster up courage to not only do something physical, but to actually jack you up in a fight.



Wade Redden’s only hope for dignity is to commit Seppuku, a ritual suicide that Samurai’s would do if they shamed themselves so they can die with honor. Wade, I do have a katana, let me know if you want to borrow it while you’re still in town.



Everyone Fights
As Ryan Whitney proved, every single hockey player will fight in the playoffs. Even Rob Scuderi, a guy that wouldn’t harm a fly was dropping them for his team. It’s borderline insanity really. Everyone’s balls grow exponentially when it comes playoff time. Crosby and Redden were smacking each other, Kennedy and Lee, and if Ray Emery were in goal he’d probably be fighting Marc-Andre Fleury.


The Plays Get Better
Malkin showed again he is one of the best players in the league by weaving in and out of the Senators, and both Fleury and Martin Gerber had some awesome saves. Yeah it happens in the regular season but not as often or at the level as in the playoffs. Plus since players step up their game, they have to work extra hard to score making a goal that much more satisfying.


Fleury vs LaPointe vs Talbot (kind of)
Fleury is a soft spoken and friendly guy, so he’s not really violent, even for a goalie. That’s why instead of slashing or punching people in his crease he will do something small of piss them off, like say bring his stick up into their crotch, which is exactly what he did to Martin LaPointe. Just like every man who gets a sack whack, LaPointe was decidedly pissed (it wasn’t a hard hit, but still). He turned and got into Fleury’s face, which Max Talbot would have none of, immediately skating over and putting LaPointe into a headlock, which of course began yet another scuffle between the teams. This is a constant thing in playoff hockey. (Sorry, can’t find a video for it).

http://scores.espn.go.com/nhl/photos?photoId=1909365&gameId=280409016


Cryin’ Bryan
In my last article I mentioned how Sens coach/GM was crying like a girl about his team and the Pens. I wasn’t the only Pens fans that noticed. The sign was every at the arena, including a girl who held it right behind Murray on the bench. The best of it all? With about three minutes left a chant got going that people on TV couldn’t make out. What was it? Nothing else than 17,000+ people cheering “cryin’ Bryan!” I’m sure he was crying some more in the locker room after the game.


http://assets.espn.go.com/media/apphoto/70e2b9f0-2b9f-418f-a798-7a909ced290e.jpg


Gary Roberts: the Senators Anti-Christ
You know how some players just play awesome against certain teams? Well Roberts does exactly that with the Senators. For some reason he just scores and pushes the entire team around whenever he meets them in the playoffs. In one series when he played for the Toronto Maple Leafs Roberts nearly single handedly eliminated the Senators, scoring a bunch of goals and smacking them around like a pimp does to his girls. It got to the point where last year the Senators GM was told to obtain him at any cost at the trade deadline. He lost out to the Pens, then became unemployed in the summer despite his team making it to the finals.

Roberts proved once again he kills this team, scoring two goals and starting a huge ruckus at the end. He was actually egging on the entire Senators team, as Christoph Schubert, one of the ballsiest players when your back is turned, just stood there looking yellow. And after the penalties were sorted out? Gary Roberts had more penalty minutes, even sans the misconduct, than two Senator players who were given penalties. Video is below.

Supposedly during the post game meeting people heard shouts from the Senators room of “he did it to us again!” could be heard, with some players crying in their stalls, but nothing substantial.

And because I can, Daniel Alfredsson is a douchebag.