Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Hansbrough is still a douche no matter how blue collar he is.

Every so often we are subjected to horrendous columns by paid professionals that make even my stream of piss articles seem comprehensible and well written. Such was the case of this gem from Yahoo's own Jason King who bares a striking resemblance to Tony H. Romo's retarded half brother.


Anyway, King provided another useless fluff piece on the great Tyler Hansbrough that made me vomit all over my proverbial keyboard and further make me so glad that motherfucker is going to the NBA. While he is a great college player, Hansbrough will likely struggle in the NBA before eventually turning into a Rony Seikaly 2k9. King rattles on and on on the greatness of Hansborough but reading the various quotes, I lost some of that respect for ol TH. Yea yea, I know it's not the whole story and probably not the case. I just don't get how this is some massive validation story? Is it really about Hansbrough or is it more about the douchebag media types that wax poetically about his desire?

DETROIT – When it was all over, when one of the greatest careers in college basketball history was complete, Tyler Hansbrough marched into the North Carolina locker room and told everyone to shove it.

Now why on earth would the loveable, hard working, country boy, Hansbrough need to tell anyone to shove it? The past 4 years, we've heard that Tyler is the epitome of class, skill and hard work and golly gee whiz a great guy to boot. The sad thing is that everyone is on his jock to begin so why would he tell everyone to shove it? Unless of course, in WWE terms, he's turning heel which actually might be pretty cool. Look at the wonders it did for Dwayne Johnson. Anyway back to the article...

“I silenced a lot of people today,” said Hansbrough, smirking. “There are still going to be a lot of people that hate me. But you know what? I’m a national champion. When they prank call me, I’ll just leave it at that.”

Mild statements for some, but that’s trash talk for Hansbrough, who for four

years pursed his lips when fans and columnists criticized his game. And they criticized it a lot.

I only wish I had his number so I could prank his no talent ass clown all the live long day. I'm sure him telling he is a national champion will really stop all the hate. I'm more surprised by the answer. Isn't he some good ol boy from the midwest where they teach their kids about respect and isn't Hansbrough supposed to give some cliched answer. I mean most blue collar, try hard, work hard guys don't need any validation that they belong or they deserve something because they've proved it to themselves...

Furthermore, Hansbrough seems to have forgotten about the whole team concept here. I silenced... really? NOT YOUR TEAM. NOT ELLINGTON OR DAVIS OR LAWSON? They didn't do anything? They didn't pick your ass up when brought an earth shattering 8 points out against Oklahoma? You'd think someone so hard working, blue collar and country would mention the other guys that carried him to a tournament win? With every passing word, Hansbrough comes off like a whiney school girl here or most recently, like any member of the New England Patriots crying about no respect or disrespectful when they are the kings of that comedy.

Such desire exhibited here

Overhyped. Overrated. A future NBA bust. “He flops, he whines, he travels every time,” Duke fans chanted. People poked fun at his facial expressions and said he looked like Beaker from “The Muppets.”

All of it became rather ridiculous. We complain about athletes being prima donnas and using college as a pit stop to the NBA. Yet when a player comes along, works hard, stays four years and does it the right way, we rip him for it. It makes no sense.

Part of the problem with Hansbrough is that for the past 4 years, we've heard every media outlet (King included) crow about what a wonderful guy he is. Look that might be the case. I don't know the guy nor have I conversed with him nor hung out with him. He could be my new bff but the problem is all we hear from everyone is how great a guy Tyler is. I don't give a shit. Like most people, I'd like to shown why he's such a great g

uy, player, etc. not told. Ever hear the phrase Show Don't Tell? Except by Dick Vitales, Jay Bilas and Jason King's of the world, we are just told how great of a kid he is. You know what so is BH and we don't have him being praised on sportscenter. Yet every member of the media has told us and repeated it ad nauseum for the last 4 years. I'm surprised no one said no one works harder at giving interviews than Tyler Hansbrough.

Look, let's be honest, we can hear about the he stayed 4 years all he wants but that's not reality. Are you telling me if a player could make 5+ million dollars a year, take classes in the offseason and support his entire family that he wouldn't? The reality of the situation is that Hansbrough had obvious flaws in his game and at best projects to a bench player in the NBA. Yet Hansbrough's PR team is in full effect pitching "Staying in school" because he wants to. Yea okay. He needed to stay all 4 years to prove he wasn't as much as a super scrub as the 'haters' thought. I've heard similar PR spins like 'Jerome Bettis took a paycut to stay with the Steelers' or 'Pittsburgh Pirates: The Culture has finally changed' in my years of sports viewing but I digress.

Dick Vitale on Cloud 9.

“Once you’ve been around for a while, people start trying to find flaws in your game,” said Hansbrough’s father, Gene. “They did the same thing with [Florida quarterback] Tim Tebow. He doesn’t care about that. All he wanted to do was to be a part of a winning team.”

And win Hansbrough did, as the school’s all-time leading scorer helped North Carolina advance to consecutive Final Fours.

No victory, though, was as gratifying as Monday’s. Hansbrough finished with 18 points and seven boards in a 17-point victory that felt more like a 40-point blowout.

Now we have Mr. Hansbrough coming to his son's aid. Now it's a nice gesture and all but people sorry just because you have been around for 4 years doesn't mean people just all of sudden begin to look at flaws in your game. Actually the flaws are readily apparent maybe even around 4 games.

Look I get it. I mean it's tough for a 6' 10'' guy NOT to get a double double in college no matter how poor they are. It's almost a guarantee. I mean look it's hard to miss free throws, tip in missed shots or grab rebounds at 6' 10''. Those sort of odds are equivalent to the Spartans vs. the Greeks. I'll admit I try not to venture into the basketball world too much but as a veteran of 10 years playing the sport, does he even have any post moves? Every game I see it's the same shit. He holds it for a second or two so his teammates clear the area, takes a dribble or six, picks up his dribble, bends over so that anyone can swipe at the ball and the double team can occur, and then wildly throws up a 3-4 footer and prays that it doesn't break the backboard. You think that will work in the NBA?

“It’s amazing to see your son realize his dream,” Gene said from his first-row seat. “This is what he’s wanted ever since he was able to get the ball to the rim.”

Not the NBA? Not being a pro? Not being rich? But winning the college basketball title? Interesting...

“You can easily say he’s one of the best players – if not the best player – in North Carolina basketball history,” guard Bobby Frasor said. “I don’t know if you’ll ever see a player like this again. He’s pretty special.

“It’s a safe bet you’ll never see another Tyler Hansbrough.”

Really? I thought we already have seen him in various incarnations such as "Christian Laettner", "Cherokee Parks" and "Kevin Pittsnogle?"

If that’s the case, then at least the final image of Hansbrough – the one of him at his locker – will be a memorable one. As the paparazzi circled around him, snapping pictures and hanging on his every word, it was hard not to sense the weight falling off his shoulders as he got in the last word against his detractors.

“There have been a lot of good players that have never been part of a national championship team,” Hansbrough said. “I’m part of something special. Say what you want. I’m a national champion.

“I’m validated right now.”

Still no we. Yep. You are validated in the sense that you aren't a difference maker. You are a nice piece to a championship puzzle but you most certainly ain't the driver. Every team needs someone to rally around and you were that guy. It's a good story and I'm sure TH will have a nice ESPN movie made after him but still you are the college basketball version of Jerome Bettis in 2005.

Now go to the NBA and validate everyone's opinion of you being nothing more than a glorified 10th man. Also please hire a dance coordinator with your first round pick money.

1 comment:

The Brooklyn Hillbilly said...

How DARE YOU impugn the legacy of the greatest white basketball player of all time, Kevin Pittsnogle.