Tuesday, February 5, 2008

People you (or at least I) find at a Giants Parade

Jersey Guidos!-See above photo. What surprises me more is that they actually gel their hair up before a Giants parade when everyone else sorta rolls outta bed.

Guy who compares everything to the '86 team-This guy is either fat, old, or both. In my case, he's 350 lbs, is surprisingly current with his Jacobs jersey, and chants "D-Fence" every time a player, offense or defense comes by, because that's the way the '86 team rolled.

The Douchebags who get to watch from a balcony- One of these guys made a paper airplane which almost hit an unsuspecting 6 year old in the eye. Way to impress the ladies with your airplane, you serial killer. Speaking of 6 year olds...

The little girls who go with their Dad-In their defense, this is a great way to bond with Dad. Or at least, it sounds like a good idea until they realize that the only thing they can see is '86 Giants Guy. I learned this lesson at the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade when I was 6. But unlike me, these 6 year olds will be able to get into bars in 12-13 years while their male counterparts are left out in the cold. Speaking of which...

The young boys who go with their Dad-See above for the negatives. But on the bright side, none of these lil' dudes had to deal with the Brown/Kannell/Graham dark years.

The two guys who were probably taking a walk and had nothing better to do. Were these guys Giant fans? You couldn't tell by the way they were dressed. They weren't dressed for work, but you couldn't tell that they were Giants fans simply by looking at them. One of the guys, as the parade was about to start, was just reading his NY Times. My guess is that they were FBI trying to infiltrate Al-Qaeda

And finally, last but in no possible way least...
The kid who tried to befriend me. What an asshole. Over the years, I've learned that I have two peeves: 1) Al Qaeda, and 2) People who think they're funny, continuously make jokes thinking they're funny, but have absolutely NO comedic timing. (Devo, doesn't this sort of qualify as self loathing?) Well, I'm pretty sure this kid wasn't #1, but he continuously made awful jokes throughout the entire morning. That, combined with his herpes sores made me slowly but surely inch away from this dude, even if this meant me being that much farther away from Plaxico & Co. Speaking of this kid, I'm not saying there were a lot of high schoolers at this shindig, but there was enough acne in the crowd to feed a 3rd world country.

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