As the bitter, bitter people we truly are in life, we don’t need much reason to hate on something, and sports are definitely not an exception to this. So when it comes to hockey, how do we decide who we hate the least to actually cheer for them? Well as many probably don’t know a whole lot about hockey, I will give you a reason to cheer against every team in the playoffs. As this is primarily a New York site, I will start off with the Eastern Conference.
Boston Bruins
Reason: It’s Boston
Like I said this is primarily a New York site, and Boston is the mortal enemy. I mean, these are the same people who cheer for the Red $ox and the Patriots, who finished 18-1 last season. Can you really cheer for them?
Montreal Canadiens
Reason: They don’t spell “Canadians” right
I don’t care if it’s because of the French culture, hell, that’s even more reason. Spell the damn name right! And spell things “er” and not “re” you look like a bunch of retards.
New Jersey Devils
Reason: They’re boring
I mean honestly, did you really expect a different reason to be here?
New York Rangers
Reason: Sean Avery
Like Devo’s letter said, die. No one can stand this guy, not even hotty Elisha Cuthbert. The guy is embarrassing to Hockey at times and frankly no one, probably not even his teammates, can even stand him.
Ottawa Senators
Reason: They’re a bunch of Douchebags.
No exaggeration, all they do is hit from behind and spazz out on people. Chris Niel is always looking for a flying elbow, Spezza is a complete spaz, Schubert is yellow, Emery idolizes Mike Tyson for some god forsaken reason, and the coach is a cry baby. The list goes on and on. And if this isn’t enough, I refer you to their intro in my last post that angered the Hockey Gods greatly who were swift to mark their retribution upon the team.
Philadelphia Flyers
Reason: They’re even bigger bunch of douchebags than the Senators
Listen, I’m all for physical play and having a team that can grind down the opponent a la the Anaheim Ducks. What I’m not for is a team playing more to injure the opposing players than they do to score, which is exactly what the Flyers do. It’s pretty ridiculous that a team cares more about hurting the other team than winning.
Pittsburgh Penguins
Reason: Sidney Crosby
You hate him and you know it. It’s not because he is good, and you know you don’t believe the whole whiner and diver bit. You hate him because your team, like every other team, could have won the draft lottery after the lockout and had him for yourself. For that you will always be bitter and loath him. That and he’s a whiner who dives.
Washington Capitals
Reason: Who Cares
No really, who cares about this team? Obviously not Washington as thirty years later they’re still using the same excuse they don’t have a big following: DC is a bunch of transplanted people from all over the country who didn’t grow up here and have no attachment to the team. Seriously, it’s been thirty years, if you don’t have a following at this point you’re not going to. Why cheer for them when no one even cares if they win?
Boston Bruins
Reason: It’s Boston
Like I said this is primarily a New York site, and Boston is the mortal enemy. I mean, these are the same people who cheer for the Red $ox and the Patriots, who finished 18-1 last season. Can you really cheer for them?
Montreal Canadiens
Reason: They don’t spell “Canadians” right
I don’t care if it’s because of the French culture, hell, that’s even more reason. Spell the damn name right! And spell things “er” and not “re” you look like a bunch of retards.
New Jersey Devils
Reason: They’re boring
I mean honestly, did you really expect a different reason to be here?
New York Rangers
Reason: Sean Avery
Like Devo’s letter said, die. No one can stand this guy, not even hotty Elisha Cuthbert. The guy is embarrassing to Hockey at times and frankly no one, probably not even his teammates, can even stand him.
Ottawa Senators
Reason: They’re a bunch of Douchebags.
No exaggeration, all they do is hit from behind and spazz out on people. Chris Niel is always looking for a flying elbow, Spezza is a complete spaz, Schubert is yellow, Emery idolizes Mike Tyson for some god forsaken reason, and the coach is a cry baby. The list goes on and on. And if this isn’t enough, I refer you to their intro in my last post that angered the Hockey Gods greatly who were swift to mark their retribution upon the team.
Philadelphia Flyers
Reason: They’re even bigger bunch of douchebags than the Senators
Listen, I’m all for physical play and having a team that can grind down the opponent a la the Anaheim Ducks. What I’m not for is a team playing more to injure the opposing players than they do to score, which is exactly what the Flyers do. It’s pretty ridiculous that a team cares more about hurting the other team than winning.
Pittsburgh Penguins
Reason: Sidney Crosby
You hate him and you know it. It’s not because he is good, and you know you don’t believe the whole whiner and diver bit. You hate him because your team, like every other team, could have won the draft lottery after the lockout and had him for yourself. For that you will always be bitter and loath him. That and he’s a whiner who dives.
Washington Capitals
Reason: Who Cares
No really, who cares about this team? Obviously not Washington as thirty years later they’re still using the same excuse they don’t have a big following: DC is a bunch of transplanted people from all over the country who didn’t grow up here and have no attachment to the team. Seriously, it’s been thirty years, if you don’t have a following at this point you’re not going to. Why cheer for them when no one even cares if they win?
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1 comment:
Here's my beef with the Devils. Not only are they boring but WHY THE HELL ARE THEY MAKING THE RAGS LOOK THIS GOOD.IT MAKES ME SO ANGRYY!!
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