Tuesday, May 27, 2008
A Few Thoughts from a Weekend Spent in Miami (The City Where The Heat Is On All Night On The Beach To The Break Of Dawn)
I spent 36 hours last weekend in Miami for my cousin's bachelor party. I wrote about these kids on an old blog, but for now let's call them Ron (Best Man) and Jeremy (Bachelor). A few thoughts:
-Took about 2 minutes before Ron & Jeremy brought up what they like to call "The First Place Florida Marlins." I responded to them later in the evening with the following:
"Hey Ron, you see the Yankee game on Sportscenter? You see those people who seem to be watching the game? Those are called fans. You'll start to see them down here if the Marlins get to the later stages of a World Series."
Of course, Ron responded "First place Marlins." Touche, sir.
-You know that a bachelor party is going to be a shitshow when the place you go for dinner, before the booze starts to flow makes the paper the previous day because they were at the center of a bookmaking scheme.
"Yeah, I'd like the 8 oz. filet, the side of salad, and $200 on the Yankees."
-Got to ride in a stretch hummer limo built for 20. Can't complain about riding in style, but let's just say that they should come with restrooms if you're driving more than 20 minutes. And that's all I have to say about that.
-As for the bachelor party? Um, I'm not sure. I drank a lot of booze before we left Ron's house, drank my fair share in the limo, don't remember the strip club and passed out in the 2nd club. I bet the others had fun though. And for the record, there's no worse feeling than not remembering a fantastic strip club.
-On a similar note, it's weird going from a strip club to a real club. The girls at the club expect you not to touch them and shit, like they have rights. Who do they think they are?
-In a surprising turn of events, I was actually able to find Vs. and watched a few minutes of the Stanley Cup. Want to stick out in Florida? Do any of the following:
1. Wear a Pro-Castro t-shirt.
2. Wear a Pro-Palestinian t-shirt.
3. Wear an Obama '08 t-shirt.
4. Attend a Marlins game.
5. Watch a hockey game.
-If you haven't yet, go ahead and watch the Miami music video up top. I defy you to not get into the groove. It brings me back to the days of laser light bowling. SHMUCK knows what I'm talking about.