How two big fictions of 21 ruin the movie:Monday, March 31, 2008
Why I hated 21
How two big fictions of 21 ruin the movie:
Sunday, March 30, 2008
AL East Preview
AL East (Heavyweight Division)
New York Yankees- 95 wins 1st place
Call me a homer if you want but this team reminds me of the 2006 Tigers. The 08 Bombers offer a plethora of talented young pitchers who are blossoming at the same time, an excellent lineup and an even better bullpen headlined by emerging superstar Jobah Chamberlain and all time great closer Mariano Rivera. Although I have waxed and waned on the Yanks this off-season, when Robinson Cano, a career 300, hitter is batting 8th in your lineup, you are doing something right. Expect Abreu to have a great season as all baseball players seem to during their walk years. Jeter is Jeter and A-rod is still the best player in the game. I admit if Hughes and Kennedy do not make major contributions to this year’s club, the Yanks may not even make the playoffs. However, I loved what I saw of Kennedy last year and Hughes’s relief appearance in game 3 of the ALDS would have been talked about for years if not for Chien -Ming Wang’s implosion in game 4. Speaking of the only Yankee whose autograph I have; I think Wang will be fine this season, psychologically speaking, as he has generally shown he is a cool customer in the face of adversity. People forget how well he pitched against the Tigers in the ALDS in 2006. Pettite might drop down a bit from last season’s totals but I expect the rise of Hughes and Kennedy to more than compensate for Pettite’s moderate tailing off. I don’t think anyone in major league baseball can beat the Tigers this year but I think the Yankees will give them a fight in the ALCS.
Boston Red Sox- 93 wins 2nd place (wildcard)
The 2007 World Series champion Redsox (ahh, that goes down a little easier when I think of the Superbowl simultaneously) are everyone and their mother’s favorites to win it all again this year. People seem to just assume that their young pitchers will seamlessly transition to the more prominent roles they will be asked to fill due to Curt “I’m a right wing zealot doucehbag” Schilling’s latest injury. I think Bucholz is going to be an excellent pitcher sometime in the next few years and I think Lester’s comeback from cancer is a wonderfully inspirational story. However, unless Dice K lives up to the ridiculous, even by Yankee’s standards, contract he was given before the start of the 2007 season, the Sox rotation is not that great. They have a phenomenal closer and a very good but not great lineup. Ortiz and Ramirez are probably the best 3, 4 any lineup has put together in my lifetime and I think Pedroia and Ellsbury are going to be stars sooner than later. But I expect Lowell to tail off after a contract season boom and Varitek just isn’t a good hitter anymore. I think the nation will be represented in this year’s postseason tournament but will do so as a wild card entrant.
(The middle weight division)
Tampa bay Devil Rays- 80 wins 3rd place
Can you see it now? The confetti being thrown about inside the Trop. Carl Crawford being carried off the field as a hero. The Devil rays might engage in such a celebration this season because they are threatening to actually win over 75 games. They have a very talented lineup which features the great Carl Crawford and slugging 1b Carlos Pena and rising stars like BJ Upton Akinori Iwamura. Super prospect Evan Longoria has struggled in the minors so his move up to the big club has been temporarily delayed (this information courtesy of my friend the BEG). They even have a respectable rotation now that they acquired Matt Garza from Minnesota for Delvin Young. Apparently negations were held up until the Rays agreed to part with the bat he threw at that umpire a few years ago as well. (HIYOO!) Seriously though, Garza slides into the third spot in the depth chart behind talented lefty fireballer Scott Kazmir (imagine if he was your 5th starter Mets fans) and surprise 2007 stud James Shields. They even have a real bullpen this year with 2 solid setup men in Dan Wheeler and AL Reyes to go along with newly acquired prehistoric closer Troy Percival. (Didn’t this guy retire like 5 years ago?) Youth and having no decent 4th and 5th starters will force the Rays to watch as the two heavyweights go at it for the division crown but this team and organization appear to finally be on the right track.
Toronto Blue Jays (80 wins) Third place tie
I have a lot of respect for how great a healthy Roy Halliday and AJ Burnett are. I also have respect for BJ Ryan and Scott Rolen. There is just one problem; THEY ARE NEVER FREAKING HEALTHY! Rolen will begin the year on the DL and Ryan missed almost all of last season due to Tommy John surgery. Halliday is a hall of fame caliber pitcher and Burnett is an all-star in his own right. If they actually both stay healthy for a full season, this team might even threaten to get to the 90 game mark. However, the loss of Troy Glaus will somewhat weaken a lineup that was already fairly top heavy. I do expect Vernon Wells to actually give a shit this year and not just sit on his piles of money like he did all of last season; so that should help the Jay’s cause. Alex Rios has finally lived up to his potential earning his first all-star selection this past season. However, a top heavy rotation that is counting on two injury prone aces and a lineup that is solid but not scary will not be enough to compete with the heavyweights.
(The Baltimore Orioles division)
Baltimore Orioles (68 wins) 5th place
How can Peter Angelos even stomach the team he has put together for the 2008 season? The Orioles had the kind of off-season that even the Twins and A’s are laughing at. They traded their best position player SS Miguel Tejada to Houston and CY young caliber ace Erik Bedard to the Mariners and got back nothing of consequence in return. This leaves Baltimore with Millar being its most potent power bat and with the immortal James Guthrie as the opening day starter; yikes. I love Brian Roberts and New York’s own Nick Markakis and Adam Jones has a fairly big upside but that won’t help the Orioles fans deal with their ballpark being invaded by the obnoxious members of Sox Nation and by the equally entitled fellow Yankee backers. Hey, at least they have a great stadium and Cal Ripken’s legacy to fall back on.
Start Your Amazins: Mets '08 Season Preview!! (Part One)
Next year is now. Your season has come. Those were the slogans for the 2006 and 2007 Mets respectively. This year's, 'Final Season! at Shea Stadium', seemingly puts a lot less pressure on the boys from Queens. I don't really like it, but maybe a lot less pressure is something the Mets need in their slogan because there's lots of pressure on the team in general: pressure on Willie Randolph to recover after last year's collapse; pressure on Johan Santana to live up to his new role as savior; pressure on Omar Minaya to show that he truly can put together a winning team with an approximate $128 million payroll; pressure on the rest of the team to do some of their own recovering. With the season starting tomorrow in Miami, the Mets
are poised and rearing to go. Let's take a look at what they have to offer (as long as everyone stays healthy)...Starting Pitching...
1. Johan Santana. While I am still nervous about all of the hype, I got to watch some of his Spring Training outings and I liked what I saw. I had a special place in my heart for Tom Glavine (even though he has gone to the HATED Braves), it is great to have an Ace once again. Not since the Mike Hampton era have I felt secure about that #1 spot in the rotation.
2. Pedro Martinez. Apparently the most fit he's been in his career, it will be nice to have a healthy Pedro back in the rotation full time. Maybe he's a little pissy about not being #1, but he makes one hell of a #2.
3. John Maine. What's great about the addition of Santana is that a good #2 becomes a great #3. He was 3-4 in his last 10 games last year, but remember how the last month or so went for the Mets as a whole. His overall 15-10 for 2007 sounds nice to me.
4. Oliver Perez. Sweet. I got to see him last year in 2 very impressive outings. When he's on, he's on and you'll know it early. When he's not...eep he's not. Get that long relief ready. Ended the season 5-3 and had a season total of 15-10. Not too shabby, #4!
5. Mike Pelfrey. This was one of the big Spring stories, who will win the #5 position- old man Hernandez or Pelfrey? Up until, well, yesterday it looked like El Duque had earned it, but it seems like he's going on the DL for at least the beginning of the season. Pelfrey was roughed up in his last few spring outings, so it makes me a little nervous that he's starting in the rotation. Mike will hopefully prove himself as he did in a few of his games last year. All 3 of his wins came at the end of the season, so let's hope that momentum stays with him to the beginning of this year.
Overall Grade: A-
Starting 8...
1. Jose Reyes (SS). Something happened to Senor Reyes at the end of last season and he has vowed to make certain adjustments to change his bad fortunes. As much as I thought he needed to focus more last September, I don't want him to take away his handshakes and the attitude that make him such a fun player to watch. Hopefully he can get back some of his mojo without changing too much about himself. Let's watch to see if he can he beat his career and Mets-high 78 stolen bases from last year. Maybe he'll get some more hits on the ground this year as opposed to hitting it in the air so much. Triples and inside-the-park home runs are also something to watch out for this season. Watch the throws to first! Keep the errors down. Keep the handshakes.
2. Luis Castillo (2B). Since he was recovering from knee surgery early during Spring, Luis has made some good progress. He's older and with that surgery his injury-risk is up, but he did a nice job as the #2 hitter for the team last year. Good 2nd baseman. Let's see if his knee holds up well enough to get those grounders.
3. David Wright (3B). The Mets' golden boy is poised to have a fantastic season. At 25, he has not yet hit his prime, has emerged as a leader of the team and he had a great year last season with 30 home runs, 107 RBI and a 325 average. His defense is also improving every year. In one pre-season prediction, he was picked as NL MVP. Whew.
4. Carlos Beltran (CF). So he's not quite the man that the Mets signed in 2005. I heard on WFAN that Wright is in front of Beltran in the line-up because the Mets are afraid to have him run. His knees are weak. He won't steal as many bases this year. Here's how I see it- Beltran will be 31 next month. He can still hit. Well. He can still field. Well. If he doesn't steal bases, he doesn't steal bases. That's not something I'm really worried about. Actually, Carlos Beltran isn't someone I'm really worried about.
5. Carlos Delgado (1B). Someone I am worried about is Carlos Delgado. He had a flat out bad season in 2007. He was injured in Spring Training. There are lots of questions- Was last season the beginning of the end or just an off year? Will he be able to hit in the clutch (even a little bit)? I'm hoping that Carlos (my mom says, 'David Wright is cute, but Carlos Delgado is HANDSOME') can regroup to his 2006 form. I like him 5th in the batting order though. Not as much pressure there.
6. Angel Pagan (LF). Once Moises Pees-on-his-Hands Alou gets back from his hernia (ouch), he'll be the starting left fielder. Until then we have Pagan, who kicked some ass during Spring Training. He played to make the team and earned his spot. Let's see how he does when the games count.
7. Ryan Church (RF). He's new and he was out for a lot of the Spring. First he had that head-on collision and then his wife had a baby. Last year he hit 15 home runs, had 70 RBI and an average of 272. He's the starting right fielder either way, so I'll guess we'll just have to wait and see.
8. Brian Schneider (C). More of a defensive catcher than an offensive powerhouse like Mr. Mike Piazza, we'll get to see the new guy call some great games. Six home runs, 54 RBI and a 235 average aren't great numbers, but he supposedly knows how to handle a pitching staff, so let's hope he's recovered fully from his Spring Training injuries.Overall Grade: B
Check back tomorrow afternoon for a look at the Mets' bullpen and bench! Until then, have fabulous baseball-filled dreams.
~MissMet
Friday, March 28, 2008
My Bad of the Week
So i peruse the internet a lot. For instance right now as I attempt to find whichever watering hole to go but boy I found me a little something else.WTF
So this might be the craziest shit I've ever heard. I realize that doctors are really smart but seriously I think I could tell the difference between a foot and an anus. See I knew you had to be really smart in med school in all but really I guess med schools should restructure their curriculum to focus on the fundamentals. Ok fine it's probably some intern or nurse's fault but still maybe they should teach Anatomy 101 during that rigorous application process?
Course lost in this whole mess is the fact that this military retiree has a brand spanking new anus and well let's just that joke is a little too easy to make even for me.
Good game to you little clinic in Hochfranken, Bavaria. I'll be sure to stop in next time when I need a new anus.
WTF is going on with Hideki Matsui
I have nothing to say about this other than the fact that it is our duty as Americans to remember that Hideki Matsui loves the porn. An excerpt:
Instructed to stay in the team dormitory and refrain from dating during the first several years of his career, so as to devote all his concentration solely to baseball, Matsui agreeably complied, without so much as a whimper. Indeed, his only eccentricity, if it can be called that, is his extensive private library of adult videos.
2K8 MLB Preview
But lest we leave off the best showtunes-ish theme song in sports:
Prediction: 93-69
Prediction: 82-80
Don't Give Gretzky Credit
You can say Gretzky has improved as a coach, that may be true, but that is not what has made the Yotes a better team this year. The main culprit in that is goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov. Bryzgalov is a number one goalie who Anaheim tried to trade but could find no takers because everyone knew they would be trading him. Not able to even get a late round pick for him, Anaheim GM Brian Burke placed him on waivers where he was picked up by the Coyotes. This is how waivers work in the NHL. Each team can put in a claim to the player on waivers. The team with the worst record who puts in the claim gets the player. The Coyotes were the 4th worst team in the league at that time, and so were able to acquire him for nothing. But they had to be bad at that point to begin with. Since that time the Coyotes have been a legitimate team.
Let me give you some back history on the Coyotes. Nikolai Khabibulin, current goalie in Chicago who helped Tampa Bay win a cup in 2004 was the last legitimate starting goaltender the Yotes had and they dealt him at the trade deadline his final season there. The year: 2001. Since then the Coyotes have fielded journeymen, busts and end of their career guys such as Sean Burke, Curtis Joseph, Brian Boucher and David Leneveau just as some examples of those. That’s seven years (about 5 seasons due to the lockout and being dealt at the deadline) that the team has gone without a legitimate starter. And anyone who knows even a little bit of hockey knows that you cannot win without a goalie, period. This is why the Yotes have been toiling at the bottom of the standings since that time.
So now after Bryzgalov is acquired the Coyotes are now in a race to make the final playoff spot. But yet some people aren’t putting two and two together here. All of a sudden you have a starting goalie in your ranks for the first time in years and you attribute the jump in the standings and play to the coach? Hmm…
Also, the Coyotes did the smartest thing they could do at the end of last season: fire GM Mike Barnett. In my last article I blasted GM’s Jay Feaster and Don Waddell as the two worst GM’s in the league. Barnett was worse than either of them. His solution was to bring in over priced veterans who were a year from retirement to fill in the gaps. Plus every off season and deadline he was very active, “overhauling” his roster to make it better. So really twice a year the team had significant changes. Unfortunately real life hockey doesn’t work like the video games and Barnett was unable to realize that.
So with Barnett gone new GM Don Maloney did little in the off season choosing to leave spaced open for young players. His only notable acquisition was Radim Vrbata from Chicago who has been a pleasant surprise netting 27 goals after a previous career high of 15. This was a smart move as the younger players are now starting to come into their own and will only get better.
So where exactly does Gretzky fit in with the success? Nowhere. Bryzgalov is the majority why the Coyotes have improves so much this year, and getting rid of an awful GM the next. Gretzky’s positive impact, if any, is negligible.
A Night with BH and his 'eers
Right before I get off the train in Rockville last night, I get a call from BH-I'm in town, come to Dupont Circle to watch the WVU game, see ya there in 20. So I get off the Metro at Grosvenor, cross the track and get on the train heading into town.Some highlights:
-Joe Alexander. You know how to tell that he's not from WV? (or at least Texas) His first name is simply Joe. Shouldn't it be Joe John or Joe Jack? Naturally, I called him Joe Jack or Joe John all game. The WV faithful looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language, or asked them to add 2+3.
-Wellington Smith, black dude, WVU. Led to this exchange:
BH: Yeah, I heard he's named after his estranged father.
Devo: Wow, so he and Kate Mara are stepsiblings.
Devo: That would be why Smith's grandmother was always nicknamed Sally Hemmings.
-Is it just me, or is Bob Huggins the type of coach that you would expect to go to a post game frat party and bang some co-eds?
-Not a Xavier score went by without BH wanting a charge. And not a WV offensive possession went by without BH wanting a blocking foul. Kinda like how the Packers', Cowboys', and Patriots' O-lines held on every offensive possession and committed pass interference on every Eli throw.
-Would it kill WV to make a shot in the final 4 minutes of OT?
-Watching the UCLA game from the Ugly Pug by Capitol Hill, I was the asshole who responded to the UCLA chants with "U-S-C." Yeah, I'm that guy. BH and I tried a W-K-U chant, and then we looked at each other quizzically as we tried to say their mascot. We should've just assumed it was a wildcat.
-To bring this back to the Superbowl XLII Giants, I wore a Yankee hat to the bar last night and got a surprising amount of Yankees Suck chants. Yada yada yada, I'm going to miss being able say 18-1 if the Pats ever win a Super Bowl again.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
2K8 MLB Preview: AL Central (Part 4 of 6)
(Written by White Boy)
This team looks to be the best team in all of baseball. They made the single best trade that baseball has seen in many years. They traded talented but novice outfielder Cameron Maybin and some other people who I don’t know anything about for frontline starter D-Train “It’s Dontrelle, cuz” Willis and All Star 3B Miguel Cabrera. Although I think Cabrera has a lot of dog in him, his talents and power at the plate are unquestioned. Willis has been mired in mediocrity for the last several seasons but might feel rejuvenated pitching on a serious title contender. The Tigers lineup is absolutely scary. This lineup is better than the one Torre filled in on his scorecard prior to game 1 of the 2006 ALDS. That lineup featured rising super star Robinson Cano as the 9 hitter. Well, the Tigers lineup is even deeper this season. Miguel Cabrera, Garry Sheffield and Magglio “I should have just given Canseco the movie money” Ordonez and Carlos Guillen coalesce into the sexiest middle of the order that many of us have ever seen on a lineup card. As long as Justin Verlander does his thang and Bonderman doesn’t fuck it up, this team will be incredible.
I hate this freaking team. No, not because they beat my Bronx Bombers in the playoffs (though that doesn’t help), but because they choked away a 3-1 series lead to the hated Red Sox. Seriously, did Carmona have to give up that grand slam to J.D. Drew? Anyway, The Tribe is a very good team. If the American league could invite a 5th team to the post season dance, it surely would invite the Indians. They have an excellent top of the rotation and a strong middle of the lineup with Travis Hafner, Jhony “my mom and Dywane Wade’s mom apparently have the same baby names book” Peralta and slugging 1b/Catcher Victor
Minnesota Twins= 81 wins, third place
No team that was in a pennant race last year had a more disastrous off-season than the Twinkies. They traded away the game’s best pitcher for some minor league trash from the Mets. This defies logic given that the Yanks were willing to offer them phenom Phillip Hughes and that
The White Sox have had quite a fall from grace following their 2005 championship season. Jose Contreras has returned to his Yankees form, Mark Buherle has never been the same pitcher after throwing an obscene amount of innings during the 2005 run and slugger Jermaine Dye had a miserable 2007 season after having an MVP caliber 2006 campaign. They did acquire Nick Swisher who has some power but who is largely overrated. Bobby Jenks is an excellent finisher but he won’t get the chance to do it enough with the wildly inconsistent Contreras and Javier “ Grand-slam’’ Vasquez filling out the 2nd and 3rd slots in the rotation. The lineup is good enough to win a bunch of games for them and Orlando Cabrera, whose mission on this earth is to plays well against the Yankees, was an excellent signing. I just don’t think their lineup is strong enough to carry a mediocre pitching staff.
They have some nice young players. Alex Gordon will hopefully rebound from his rocky 07 season and the Mets will probably wish they never let go of emerging quality starter Brian Bannister. Bannister is carving out a nice little niche as KC’s #2 starter. As much as we all love saying Dejesus or as Devo calls him De Jesus, and as fun as it is to make fun of YES for the 150,890,875 camera shots of Tony Pena when his son is batting against his father’s team, this team just sucks.
Damn That's Eerie.
2 head coaches. 2 amazingly underperforming teams. 2 coaches who will return next year. Looks like we're set for at least one more winter of basketball indifference before anything changes with the local teams.
2K8 MLB Preview: NL Central (Part 3 of 6)
What's Good:
A damn good lineup…Soriano, Lee, and Ramirez make this team a formidable offensive threat…Ya gotta love Big Z. I’m still pissed that he didn’t allow the Yanks to make a run at him...And the rest of their starting rotation is certainly solid with Lilly, Hill, Dempster and Jason Marquis.
It’s going to be a long time before I refer to Geovany Soto as anything other than “the first guy taken in this year’s fantasy draft who I knew nothing about.”…Likewise, when people drafted Kosuke Fukudome, I thought they drafted Japanese real estate….and good luck with Kerry Wood as your closer. He’ll be effective if healthy, but that’s a Francessa-sized if.
Prediction: 90-72
The names on this team. Prince Fielder, Tony Gwynn Jr., “Teen sensation” Corey Hart. And between Prince, Hart, J.J. Hardy, and Ryan Braun, this should be the best lineup in the NL in about 3 years assuming the Ghost of Bud Selig holds this team together…and if Ben Sheets can stay healthy, hello ace of the staff.
What Isn't:
The pitching staff. I refuse to believe that Jeff Suppan is anything close to a major league starting pitcher, forget about a #2 in a rotation. World Series ring be damned, the fact that there are 3 pitchers below him in a 5 man rotation exemplifies the sad state of Brew Crew pitching…oh and Milwaukee fans should ask their New England cousins if Eric Gagne is a competent closer…and you don’t have to be Mahatma to realize that Kendall pretty much sucks.
I’ll give the Astros credit-they have a much better lineup than I thought they had: Berkman, Wiggy, Carlos Lee, the always underrated Mark Loretta, and Mr. B-12 himself, Miggy Tejada…Man, I must be getting old because I remember when 4th outfielder Darren Erstad was one of the better centerfielders.
As per NL Central standards, the Astros have one ace (Oswalt) and then crap. Wandy Rodriguez is many things, but a #2 starter shouldn’t be one of them.
(Mahatma will have a more detailed Pirate preview early next week for both of you that care.)
What’s Good:
The fact that the Penguins have a shot to be playing until June, enabling the locals to forget that they have a baseball team. But seriously, they probably have the second best pitching staff in the division. Snell, Gorzelanny, and Maholm are all pretty solid and more importantly, young, with room to improve. Matt Morris isn’t what he was, whatever that was, but there are worse #4 starters out there.
X-man! LaRoche!
79-83 (First half surprise team before pulling a ’07
5 words: Albert Pujols and little else. And Pujols might be hurt. Glaus and Ankiel are decent hitters, but Glaus will get hurt, and let’s see how a post-Mitchell Report Ankiel fares.
Pitching. Pretty much every aspect of it. Adam Wainright is their ace. And ask MissMet about their #2 starter, Braden Looper. Kyle Lohse, their #3 starter is this year’s winner of “best mediocre pitcher who the media wrongfully hypes as being worth anything more than $7.00/hr.”
Cincinnati
The lineup isn’t perfect, but it’s pretty solid with Dunn, Griffey, and Brandon Phillips. (Is it just me or does this apply to all the NL Central teams except for the Pirates?) Aaron Harang is coming off a damn good year and should continue his success into next season.
Has anyone seen Harang’s photo? Damn that’s eerie. Starters 2-5 aren’t that great, but the more of these previews that I do, the more I realize that starting pitching depth isn’t a necessity. But you might not want to have two of the stars of the ’96 Yankee bullpen, David Weathers and Mike Stanton, as your top two bullpen guys. And while Adam Dunn hit .266 last year, that happens to be a career high that he may or may not ever accomplish again.
Prediction-76-86
Stupid White Man
So I'm in a supermarket buying some breakfast. I use the self-checkout lines to speed through. As I'm taking my change, I find $40 worth of bills in the spare change/bills section. I have 3 choices here: I can A) take the money and get myself 30 seconds with a high-class call girl (seriously, do you really need any more time than that?) B) ignore the money and let the lady behind me be in line win the low-stakes lottery or C) give the money to the store manager or anyone else i can find.
I can't believe I chose C. I took the money, gave it to the lady who was working the self-checkout area, and left. I didn't see her do anything with the money, so I'm assuming there's a 80% chance that she pocketed it. If I had to do it all over again, I probably would've taken it and given it to the homeless guy outside as BH suggested. Sure, he's only going to spend it on booze, but would I spend it on anything different?
In the meantime, I absolutely hate myself for taking the moral course of action in this instance.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
NHL: Eliminated Teams Future Outlook
New York Islanders
The Isles once again have done better with a lower level of talent than anyone expected. Injuries to key players hurt the team even more when you don’t have the talent to keep up. Ted Nolan continues to show he can make something out of nothing by keeping the team in contention much of the season. However, the Isles need to spend their money better than giving $3mm to Andy Sutton and $2.9mm to Ruslan Fedotenko, both worth about half their respective salaries. Mike Milbury still has his tainted touch on this team so it will take GM Garth Snow another year or so to clean it up. Some better drafting will help, but more importantly the right free agents at the right price is needed, something the Isles have yet to do.
Atlanta Thrashers
I will put this simply: as long as Don Waddell is GM of this team there is no hope. He might have done well in the Hossa deal, but all his other deals have been rather one sided against him, including all of his deadline deals last year. In his eight years as GM of the Thrashers he has yet to address the need for defense by doing more than signing and aging blue liner. Also, outside of Ilya Kovalchuk and Dany Heatley, two no-brainers, his drafting record has been atrocious at best. There are few prospects in the Thrashers system that will have a major impact in the coming years. He is one of the worst GM’s in the league bar none and until he is gone the Thrashers can’t expect to be going anywhere soon.
Tampa Bay Lightning
See how I said Waddell was one of the worst GM’s? That’s because this guy is the worse. Jay Feaster gave in to the demands of all his big three players when they were up for contract, which forced him to deal away Brad Richards this year to Dallas for Jussi Jokinen, Jeff Halpern and Mike Smith, the latter being the goalie they so desperately need. While the Richards deal freed up salary and gave the Lightning some much needed depth, it was unfortunately negated by the fact Feaster once again gave in to the demands of one of his most important players handing Dan Boyle over $6.5mm a year. Please note this is the amount perennial Norris candidate Scott Niedermayer makes and Boyle is no Niedermayer. Also like Waddell he is a very poor drafter, Paul Ranger being the best drafted prospect since Vincent Lecavalier and Brad Richards. If Feaster is smart, which he isn’t, he will spend what cap space he has on bringing in another scoring winger or second line center plus a steady defenseman that won’t break the bank.
Los Angeles Kings
The Kings have one of the best young cores in the NHL with the likes of Alexander Frolov, Dustin Brown, Anze Kopitar and Jack Johnson. However, they are lacking two very important things: a coach and a goalie. Coach Marc Crawford is the only man on this planet that thinks Dan Cloutier is a good goalie, so that should send up a big red flag there. Kings fans don’t seem too high on what he is able to make of the talent either. The Kings are not a talent devoid team in the least, and though they had some injuries it’s obviously not a lack of talent being the problem. As for a goalie, they have the promising Jonathan Bernier in the ranks, but he is still very young and rough around the edges, and it will be a few years until he is ready for fulltime duty. The goalie carousel has been in full force this season as the Kings have fielded a total of six different goalies. If the Kings can get a new coach and a decent interim goalie they have the talent to be a contender even if their young roster is still a bit rough around the edges.
St. Louis Blues
The Blues had an up and down season, a repetitive cycle of hot and cold with the latter having the dominant toll. The Blues have a decent young core with Erik Johnson (not related to the aforementioned Kings Jack), Lee Stempniak and Brad Boyes. They do have some promising prospects coming through the system and it would be wise if they let some of their free agents in the coming year or so like Martin Rucinsky and Keith Tkachuk walk. They already offloaded some free agents at the deadline to free up the room and stock up on picks. Most their free cap space has been taken up by extensions next year so don’t look for them to be big spenders. While the outlook may not be great for St. Louis the next year, a few years down the line they can be a solid team once again if their they develop their young players correctly.
2K8 MLB Preview: The AL West (Part 2 of 6)
Everything, as long as they play the Yankees. And John Lackey when he’s not playing the Red Sox. After Lackey, they have enough pitchers who have been good recently, (Kelvim Escobar, Jon Garland) mixed with pitchers with loads of potential (Lil’ Weaver, Ervin Santana, Joe Saunders) to create a damn good rotation. Oh, and they still have K-Rod and Vladdy Daddy.
The entire team against the Red Sox. Seriously, have I mentioned how bitter I am that a team can destroy the Yanks but choke on their own vomit when they go to Fenway? Their offense can play small ball, but are Garrett Anderson and Torii Hunter legitimate 4-5 hitters on a World Series contender?
A fairly consistent if not overpowering lineup, led by the ridiculously consistent Ichiro. They traded for arguably the best starter in the game in Erik Bedard. (Also the best Canadian athlete not named Steve Nash. Sorry,
But as good as their lineup is, there’s not one person who scares me besides Ichiro. Sure, Beltre, Sexson, Vidro, and Ibanez are nice to have, but how good are they? And their #2 starter is Felix Hernandez, who has been able to legally drink since last April. Sure, he’ll be good, but isn’t this expecting a lot?
What’s good?
Uh, is Moneyball still a bestseller? No? Well, hey, at least they still have…Tim Hudson? Mark Mulder? Barry Zito? Dan Haren? Rich Harden? Well hey, one out of 5 aint bad, even if Harden’s hometown is listed as the disabled list. (hi-yo!) And they get to remind jealous Yankee fans that Jason Giambi isn’t their problem anymore.
Did you read the good? Pretty much everything sucks. Eric “the franchise” Chavez and his .240 average and 15 home runs are what qualify as the #3 hitter in this fearsome-as-a-VW lineup. And Jack “does this Jersey guy get his ‘roids from the same
What’s good?
Uh, mediocre setup man Joaquin Benoit has a pretty cool name? Hey, at least Buck Showalter isn’t walking through that door! Hey, at least they play the A’s a bunch!
Everything else. More specifically,
2K8 MLB Preview: The NL West (Part 1 of 6)
We at SUS know that you, dear reader come to the site for two reasons: 1. good old fashioned Hillary Clinton bashing and 2. to find the you tubes that you were too lazy to find yourself. Well, indulge us as we preview the Major League baseball season which effectively begins next Monday. White Boy and myself are going to be moonwalking through the divisions, starting out West and ending in the East by week's end. Without further ado, here's White Boy's take on the NL West:
National League West Preview
Arizona Diamondbacks= 1st place 92 wins
The D-backs had a very solid regular season last year and looked impressive in sweeping the Cubs out of the playoffs before getting unceremoniously dumped in 4 games by theColorado Rockies= 2nd place 87 wins
The Rock Show was the best story in major league baseball last season. They went on to record one of the greatest runs in baseball history winning 22 straight games including the post-season. During this impressive stretch, they won all 7 games they played in the National league playoffs before being destroyed by the new evil empire in the fall classic. The
Los Angeles Dodgers= 3rd place 84 wins
This is going to be a 100 plus win team 6 years ago. With aged super stars like Jeff Kent, Nomar Garciaparra and Andruw Jones, this team has some of the league’s best players of yesteryear. Too bad this is 2008. Seriously though, the Dodgers have two great young players in 1b James Loney and Catcher Russell Martin. They also have a stellar bullpen which features closer Takashi Saito, Jonathan Broxton and yes, Joe Torre gets to further destroy the once strong right arm of Scott Proctor. Proctor is really going to hate Torre by the end of this season. They have a solid ace in Brad Penny but again are trying to live in the past with former Sox closer and 2004 World Champion starter Derek Lowe. This team has enough veteran savvy and talent to win some games, but doesn’t have the dominant starting pitching or lineup to realistically make the post season.
San Diego Padres= 4th place 78 wins
“Like a Rolling Thunder, Pouring rain, I’m coming on like a Hurricane” as AC/DC serenades the Padre’s faithful upon closer Trevor Hoffman’s ascension onto the mound, the crowd must be thinking, “good thing this is a game in April-august, he might not blow this one.” Okay, so maybe that’s overstating it a bit, but Hoffman choked as badly as a closer could choke at the close of the 2007 regular season. He blew saves in consecutive appearances in which closing out either game could have clinched the wildcard for his club. Instead, he coughs up the playoffs and let the
Yikes. That’s about all I can say about the 2008 Giants. They got rid of Barry Bonds and the giant headache and cloud over him that he brings wherever he goes. And quicker than you can say “perjury,” you have a gaping hole in the middle of a horrendous lineup. Barry Zito is the most overrated pitcher in baseball and his signing will go down as one of the biggest wastes of money this side of Carl Pavano’s signing with my beloved Yanks. They boast a strong future in the rotation with rising stars Matt Cain and Tim Lincecum by the bay for years to come, but these two are probably a year away from being ace quality. With lineup front liners such as Dave Roberts, Rich Aurilia and ahem... Randy Winn, this team is going nowhere fast. They will struggle to win 70 games.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
REAL MEN OF GENIUS
Yea, I doubt it'd make its way to the Tri State area but it sure would be sweet. No more waiting for drinks and putting my armpits in girls faces
Douchebags like this are why I never went South for Spring Break
For the record, the only person that I can tolerate in this video is the dude with the cooler. And even he's probably a pedophile.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Devo & White Boy discuss the 1050 radio guys (Fear not, we're done discussing the local sports talking heads)
Michael Kay
(we couldn't find any embarassing clips of Michael Kay, so here ya go, MICHAEL and KAY)White Boy:B His famous (at least in NY) call of ‘SEEE YA” has come to define his career as the former radio and current television Yankees announcer. His radio show on 1050 can be defined by his difficult job of walking the tightrope between seemingly conflicting roles; as an employee of the Yankees and as an objective viewer and analyst of the local sports teams. To Kay’s credit, he has done a reasonably good job of walking this tight rope as he usually is able to fairly criticize the Yankees when they deserve to be criticized. However, Kay can be downright morally indignant and dogmatic at times. I am still annoyed by his callous and derisive critique of a crying Mets fan immediately following Beltran’s strike out in game 7 of the 2006 NLCS. As someone who is supposed to cater to the sports diehard, Kay should appreciate this fan’s genuine emotional attachment to his favorite team instead of judging someone else’s emotional reaction. Kay is also a terrible and sycophantic interviewer. He will ask someone a question that he knows he won’t answer to make it appear to his audience that he is interrogating his subject. However, the truly good interviewer, like Mike Francessa at 660, will ask questions in a way that invites the interviewer to answer honestly. If this involves getting under the skin and even offending the subject of the interview, then so be it. Kay’s greatest strength however is his ability to incorporate his update man Donny “Pucks” Lagreca and theme song writer Joey Salvia into the program. They are both great personalities who add a tremendous amount to the program. Perhaps Salvia’s finest moment was his touching, if not bizarre rendition of Barry Manilow’s “Mandy.” (Ooohh Andyyyy…) commemorating Pettite’s return to the
Devo: D There’s very little that I’ve ever liked about Michael Kay. I hate his jerkoff name, I hate his jerk-off face, (even on radio) I hate his jerk-off attitude, and I hate him, jerk-off. Seriously, I hate the radio show. And yet, I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. I guess I like seeing how bad his show can get. He’s always had a huge ego and everything about his voice makes me want to change the channel. And even worse, way worse, is his Simple Plan-wannabe intro song. (Michael Kay is on the radio today.) On the plus side 1)he does a pretty good job eliciting anecdotes by various Yankee analysts on YES, and 2) he’s not John Sterling.
Max Kellerman
White Boy:C I actually like Kellerman in many ways. He’s much smarter than most of the radio hosts on either station. He roots for the same three teams I root for. He even is a fellow chosen person. (Happy Easter by the way to all you gentiles out there) But he’s incredibly obnoxious. He thinks he’s smarter than he is and acts like he invented sabermetrics. In addition, Brian Kenny adds absolutely nothing to the show because he is a typical ESPN talking head who is better suited for anchoring the 6pm Sports Centers than conversing with Joe New Yorker. Which reminds me, I don’t even listen to these guys that much because Joey B and E-Rob are on 660 at the same time anyway.
Devo: B+ So yeah, I usually choose Joe & Evan over Max too. (Really White Boy? E-Rob?) But the few times that I listen to Max, I’m a fan. I don’t know why, but I’m a fan of Kellerman’s obnoxious attitude. It’s fairly refreshing to see an obnoxious Yankee fan who knows how obnoxious he is, but goes forth with it anyways. And also, I haven’t been a boxing fan by any stretch since Evander Holyfield had two good ears, but it’s always amusing hearing Max talk about boxing history. Not sure why. Oh and yeah, Brian Kenny is definitely a weird choice to be his wingman.
Brandon Tierney:
This isn't BT, but it's still a fantastic Stephen A. clip.
White Boy: A Brandon Tierney (BT) is 1050’s Joe Benningo if Benningo was 30 years younger, much better looking, and had a strong
Devo: Inc. Ah, Knicks pregame show: Because they haven’t lost yet!
Hildawg's New Hispanic Strategy
Since New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, the nations first Hispanic governor, endorsed Obama over the weekend, Hillary Clinton's campaign has been in crisis mode. Many different strategies were debated, but the one they settled on looks like it will work to keep most Hispanics voting with Hildawg.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Battle of the very unofficial campaign theme songs
(White Boy is going to be pissed that they messed with his favorite song)
vs.
Barack Obama-sistible
(BH is going to like this version: he always complained that Robert Palmer's version had too many hot women. He'd prefer 4 dudes.)
vs.
Hilary Clinton's theme song
Corporate Stoogery: Characters of the Office Part 2
Company Lush
Look I'm not going to lie and say I haven't come into work hammered or anything of that sorts, but there are some people that do this WHILE supposedly working. No, no, I'm not talking about some sort of client lunch or something remotely necessary. What I'm talking about is closing one's office door and going to town. I'm not going to say I haven't done that at a point and time but usually that's when it's offered and don't have a lot going on. Unfortunately, some people don't realize that and will gladly soak away their life's tears on a random 2:15 pm Tuesday afternoon.
Lunching Lush
Similar to the Company Lush, The LL has at least the right idea. Look if you are going to get hammered, you might as well not do it in your office. Sure it's more expensive but hey at least you aren't going all alcoholic on anyone. The lone negative of course is coming back to office and reaking of booze but hey its not like we've haven't all done that. For the record, that's also why the Lord invented gum, altoids, cologne, perfume or even AXE spray. Good ole Axe
Work From Home
For whatever reason, WFH is able to get away with "working from home". I'm just jealous that I'm not able to pull it but for whatever WFH is able to. I truly don't get it? It's impressive that one gets in that position and it's even more impressive that they can continue rocking out that way. Depending on the person, WFH can actually be somewhat productive or have various reasons for working from home (baby, etc.) than rock on. Otherwise, if you go home and respond to emails 5 hours later and just sign online for no reason and leave you aren't technically working. Major props if you are able to convince the IT/Office Manager guy to be able to transfer your calls to a cellphone. Eh fuck it, I'm jealous.
IT Guy
Yep, the new most important man in the office is the IT guy. Sure enough, he would come from India the land of all important people and sure enough him and his IT goodness can save your network or emails prior to danger will robinson mode. Ok fine, you might have a random white IT guy like Mr. SCHMUCK and all but let's face it 97% of the country has an India employee and 90% of those are IT people. He also sounds like "Bill" from Dell's Customer Service team and Bill was most helpful to me.
Floozy
Every office also has a floozy. You know the token 40 year old woman who still has yet to find the man of her enormous ideals, and has promptly taken on hitting on the younger generation of office. At the first couple happy hours you might even think about it but then she gets mad at you for something work related and realize why she's single. Not to mention at that time, you are likely burnt out anyway without much release of that sexual tension but other than that you got it all!
ADD Designer
Ah yes, the designers. The guys that make the company all this money with their elite programming skills. Unfortunately, a lot of these folk tend to be a bit out there so to speak. Sure the designer prerequisite now are those new "computer" pen things as well as the more futuristic and cool looking mouse pad, an ipod, winter hat, and sweatshirt. Designers tend to also delve into some of life's other earthly pleasures. This creates ample ADD that leads them to occasional zoning out and just generally being out there. The designer also tends to frequent online gaming during office time but hey that's okay. He knows flash or something so he can try out all those cool online games you can play. Don't worry though young office dweller, designers only tend to make about 50% more than you.
MILF
Okay yea so American Pie has crept into my subconscious and overextends itself to the office scene. There are couple of these in the office setting. Sure, they may have kids and all but that doesn't have to mean you don't have to think about them in that way. Me and a coworker that will remain nameless had a conversation about this for about 2 hours. You feel bad for having the discussion, but rock on for being hot, MILF. The young boy in all of is just looking for the Next Stacy's Mom
The Gopher
So we have a gopher at our office that tends to do all the bosses bullshit as well as get the necessities in the office like milk, hot chocolate and tea bags. He's a good guy and all but you understand he probably has the best job in the office. Sure, you may not get paid nearly as well as the younger big shot execs but money isn't all that's cracked up to be. The office gopher can weasel into the office at around 10:00 and than finagle his way out of it around 5:30. Here we are thinking we could show him a thing or two, but he's definitely got his act together.
The Sleeze
You know the weird single 40 year old guy that goes round and round hitting on anything in between the ages of 18 - 45 (coworker's daughters included) yea there's that guy. Sure everyone in the office finds you creepy and disturbing but hey you keep living the dream man. Look i'm not going to say I wouldn't do that either if I were 40+ but at least i'd be funny and not so creepy? For the record, the Sleaze could also be a 40 yr old guy already in a marriage but has suddenly felt a uh twinge in his batting stance. uh yea. awkward.
Angry White Man (easter edition)
Sure, it’s tough being a Jew on Christmas, but you know what really sucks? Being a Jew on Easter. It’s kinda like Christmas, but without the Chinese Food and movies. And without the Chinese food and movies, what is a Jewish Christmas?
It’s spending the day trying to do work. It’s going to CVS because you need a minor but necessary item, but CVS is closed so you have to make do without it. Sure, kids are dying in Africa, and for that matter about 20 miles away in
There Were lots of Corrupt Cops in the 70s...(and other things I learned this weekend)
Do you all like the new format? I do. We look more grown-up now I think.
So right now, I'm in a three way (McGreevey?) tie for 9th place in the SUS March Madness Tourney. Not bad for a rookie. The bad news is that I have Tennessee in the Final Four and they're only winning their game by 1 point with 4:11 left. More on that later. I remember when I first started watching the NBA playoffs back when the Knicks always used to lose to the Bulls in the Michael Jordan era. One of the analysts (sorry, I don't remember who) used to talk about how the last 2 minutes were the most important part of a (close) playoff game. I've kind of taken that same philosophy with the NCAA tournament. I like to watch the last 5 minutes of the games, because really, I just need to know who wins.
Off of sports for a minute, I saw two great movies this weekend, both taking place in the 70s, both dealing with some corrupt cops and both based on true stories. American Gangster was the first. Yeah, took me long enough right? It was definitely worth the wait though. I loved how Denzel played Frank Lucas. No nonsense bad ass. I don't want to give too much away (for those who like to wait for DVD like me), but there's one part where he kills a man on the street in front of a ton of people. Afterwards, he just goes back to having lunch in a diner like he had to take a business call or something. The other movie I saw was The Bank Job. Jason Statham (The Transporter; The Italian Job; Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) is a small time crook who gets involved in a big time bank robbery in London. The job is actually for the English Secret Police so they can get some incriminating photos of Princess Margaret out of a safe deposit box. Scotland Yard, corrupt cops, a porn king, a brothel owner, the government, and a black radical all get involved in one way or another. What's great about this heist film is that it takes place in the 70s, so all of the gadgets and gizmos that crooks use now in movies weren't invented yet. It also has a special place in my heart because it takes place in my old stomping ground from when I studied in London. They even went to our regular pub! Check it out. Another thing that I was reminded of when I watched the two movies is that the clothes from that decade were just awesome. They might have been really uncomfortable and all made of polyester, but they looked freaking awesome.
Tennessee and Butler are about to start overtime! Nice, this should be fun (as long as Tennessee wins).
The Mets played today and lost to the Cardinals. Kevin Burkhardt interviewed Billy Wagner and Jose Reyes, who both expressed that yes, they are ready for Spring Training to be over. A week from Monday my friends!!
The good news is that Tennessee is about to win, the bad news is that Georgetown is about to lose. That's really gonna screw me up...
Happy Easter for those that care!
~MissMet
Not that you should care but...
It's the First Annual Straight Up Sports Fantasy Baseball draft!
The competition this year includes Mahatma, Cawley, myself, BH, Merloni, Epstein, my cousin Jeff, Kozik, White Boy, and SHMUCK, with that being the order of the draft.
Some quick notes about the draft:
-Cawley, god bless her, is a RN at a hospital. But patients and hippocratic oath be damned, she partook in the fantasy draft. If our writing staff showed this type of loyalty to their real job, we'd have about 50 articles per week. Just saying.
-For those who didn't know what team Kozik follows, here were some of his picks: Hafner, Sizemore, Sabathia, (all taken in the first 3 rounds), Ryan Garko, and Jhonny Peralta.
-I've been drafting with SHMUCK and Epstein for years now, and 3 things will always happen in our drafts. SHMUCK will take Kenji Johjima, (13th round) I'll take Manny, (5th round) and Epstein will take his kindred spirit, David Eckstein. (8th round)
-Apparently I'm rooting for the Red Sox this year. I ended up with Manny, Beckett, Lugo, and Ellsbury.
Anyways, for those of you who fashion yourselves as SUS stalkers, we'll post the standings on the side of the website. Good luck to all!
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