No Shit Sherlock Article of the Day

In case you missed the endless amounts of Hugh Grant movies, Zales tv ads and sappy lovey dovey horseshit on tv these days, well sir than you are hopeless. Apparently, it's Valentine's day today so naturally everything in our world centered on National Halmark Day including my trusted yahoo.com. Figuring to take some time out of my 15 minute lunch break, I'd figure I'd catch up some news. What is one of the first stories I see?

Why this lovely gem:

In Romance, Looks Matters Most to the Beautiful

Here are some choice snippets:

"Beautiful people marry beautiful people and less beautiful people marry less beautiful people," said Dan Ariely, a professor of behavioral economics at MIT's Program in Media Arts and Sciences and Sloan School of Management.

WOW. You mean Scarlett Johansson isn't walking through my apartment door anytime soon? I mean come on? Any idiot whose been in a mall can tell you this shit. So I guess that means I should stop praying to Lord Ganesha for Scarlett. Dammit and I thought we had a chance I after I sent her the naked photo of myself. Fuck. Thankfully the brain trust at MIT is there to enlighten us all.

But that doesn't mean less-attractive people are destined to lives of unrequited love and feelings of just settling for the mediocre. The study results, which will be published in an upcoming issue of the journal Psychological Science, suggest people who lack looks place more stock in non-physical features, such as sense of humor, than in physical beauty.

Thanks to MIT for this lovely contribution. Heck they could just point to the decade long strings of marriages by MIT graduates. Thankfully, it's good to know that some ugly people place more stock in non-physical features like bank accounts or something...

"Males are less affected by how attractive they themselves are than females," Lee said in a telephone interview. Guys were more likely than ladies to request dates out of their league.

Haven't these guys been to a bar before? I mean jesus christ, I don't know how many times i've seen this. Requesting dates out of their league is every guy's god given right. Not to mention, men are more likely to be mind numbingly hammered to the point where even they think Joe Q. Ugly looks like George Clooney.

In other words good looks was the primary stimulus of attraction for both men and women, and a person with good earning prospects or ambition tended to be liked as well," said study researcher Eli Finkel, an assistant professor of psychology at Northwestern University in Illinois.

Thankfully I can now rest much easier knowing my ginormous Straight Up Sports influenced bank account will be liked by some poor female in the near future. But hey at least I know we will be on the same attractiveness scale...

Happy Valentine's Day!