Monday, March 10, 2008

Bill Cowher impersonator implicated in prostitution ring



Once again, in our effort to break news as soon as it starts to bend, we bring you the hot-off-the-presses story of our fair Governor and his filthy whoring habit. Now, not too many steamy details have emerged about "Client 9"'s dealings with Emperors Club VIP, but heres what we know so far:

One of those arrested told a prostitute identified only as "Kristen" that she should take a train from New York to Washington for an encounter with Client No. 9 on the night of Feb. 13, according to an affidavit.

Lewis said the client would be "paying for everything -- train tickets, cab fare from the hotel and back, mini bar or room service, travel time and hotel," the court papers said. The client paid $4,300 in cash to the service.

The prostitute, described in the complaint as a "petite, pretty brunette, 5-feet-5 inches and 105 pounds," met the client at about 10 p.m., according to the complaint. Lewis asked Kristen how she thought the appointment went, and she said that she thought it went very well.

In a conversation with the booking agent, Kristen said that she liked the client and that she did not think he was difficult, according to the papers.

The agent said she had been told the client "would ask you to do things that ... you might not think were safe ... very basic things," according to the papers, but that Kristen responded by saying, "I have a way of dealing with that ... I'd be, like, listen dude, you really want the sex?"


With all the vitriol that has been thrown around the state government since he took office, its nice to know that the Guv is at least kind to his hookers. My mother always told me that the way you treat your whores tells people a lot about what kind of man you are. But the real question here is about that last quote. Is the Guv into some kinky shit? Im drawing a blank on something "very basic" but that someone might not think is safe. What could that be? More to come once we get a pic of the lovely "Kristen".

2 comments:

devo said...

And just like that, half of America's fantasy baseball leagues now have a team called Client No. 9.

Mahatma said...

I guess the "Kick The Field Goal, Let's Go!" policy didn't work this time. What is this the AFC Championship game?