Tuesday, December 30, 2008

40 Years of Misery

Lets be honest, we all saw this coming. I even called it just as the season started (jokingly at the time) when I was debating it with my father, “Chad Pennington is going to hurt us the last game of the season, and I know it, just watch.” And low and behold he did. You know what? I'm happy for the guy. Hell if anyone hurt the Jets season it was Brett Favre, especially during these last few weeks. But Pennington is a class-act type of guy. He will take the Dolphins or whichever team he's on to the playoffs, quite a few times, but he will never take them to the superbowl. He's just a playoff hopeful quarterback. That's all he'll ever be. Who else has won the "Comeback Player of the Year Award" twice? No franchise quarterback has that's for sure.
Thanks to some early christmas gifts (grandpa doesn't know when Christmas really is anymore, nor does he know my name) I was able to purchase a ticket and attend the game last Sunday. I was kind of pumped because it was my first (and last) Jet game of the season. And it wasn't a shocker that there was more Dolphin fans than Jet fans, I kind of expected it. I could see the doubt on everyone's faces. Jet fans deep down knew what was going to be the outcome of the game. The excitement, the enthusiasm, it just wasn’t there. Oh and um word to the wise, next season if you plan on attending any Giant or Jets games, spend the extra money for a parking pass. Until construction of the new stadium is complete parking at the meadowlands is very limited. Meaning you are going to pay $25 over on Rte 120 (behind the strip club) and they will shuttle you over to the stadium. The lines waiting for the shuttles were longer than the lines at Great Adventure (sucked to be them).

11:00am - We arrive at parking lot 18E and start tailgating. I was kind of glad it was 60 degrees out and I didn't freeze.

11:30am - Saw my first Pennington dolphins Jersey. The girl wearing it was really hot but the fact she was wearing clothing was very disappointing.

11:47am - Meet up with colleagues from work and got my tickets, section 104 row 4.

1:14pm - Our tailgate team brought a TV, we hook it up to a battery and start watching the Pats game.

2:25pm - I'm drunk and full

2:48pm - I hate the Bills. Their clock management at the end of the first half was Herm Edwards honorable. How does Dick Jauron still have a job?

3:30pm - I needed to take a shit

3:45pm - We start heading in

4:00pm - We sat with a bunch of kids from Verona, N.J. They all went to school with Anthony Fasano, one of Jersey's hometown boys; that's how we got our tickets. Apparently Verona played Summit in high school football...they probably kicked our ass. Also you know it's going to be a bad game when Dolphin fans have better seats then you do.

4:33pm - They announce the Ravens Jaguars score and the stadium arrupts.

By now I'm not aware nor do I care what time it is, I only remembered certain events....

- Fight #1 - Some kid and some dolphin fan start shooting off words to one another; the Jet fan looked like Anthony Soprano (before he became a little bitch) and the Dolphin fan looked like Keanu Reeves....I was hoping they'd throw both of them out just on looks alone.

- Jets actually muster up a decent scoring drive 7-0. It seems this season Cotchery shows up for like 5 minutes every game and makes some plays. Definitely not the player he was last season. How dramatic, the Jets miss the extra point, bet they lose by won now too.

- Fight #2 - Fists are thrown, now this game is getting really interesting!

- Fight #3 - Anthony Soprano gets thrown out!! Apparently the swat team was needed. Section 104 RULES!

- Dolphins drive the length of the field and tie the game. Dwight Lowery (no relation to Mike Loooweerry) covering Ted Ginn Jr. on the play, mistimed the jump. I hate you

- My buddy next to me informs me the Ravens have taken the lead 17-7. What the f*ck?!?! It was like 7-3 five minutes ago. I spilled half my beer...there goes $4.

- Favre’s best screen pass goes right to a defensive lineman and it’s returned for a TD. Torn bicep or not, Chad could of made that throw, 14-6.

- I’m pretty hammered. Next to me sat a little cute brunette, I’ll get back to her later.

- Halftime-pee break

- The Jets Flight Crew needs more revealing clothes. They still looked good in those pilot jumpers but I don’t care how cold it is….see-thru leg warmers!!

- So one of the Verona girls behind me is wasted and she’s taking lots of pictures. All of a sudden she takes my wool hat off my head because she wants a picture of her wearing a Jets hat. Now, I have the worst hat hair known to man (It looks worse than morning wake up hair after having sex all night) so I’m kind of embarrassed. I pull my hoodie over my head and the cute brunette apologizes on her friend’s behalf and starts patting my shoulder and arm. Any straight man out there will tell you that that is an open invitation for you to talk to her. She asks me if “I’m ok” and apologizes again now rubbing my back and giving my hat back. What the hell is wrong with me!?!? Make a MOVE!

Mickey: What the hells the matter kid?
Shmuck: I don’t know
Mickey: You're a bum, Shmuck. You're a bum
Shmuck: What should I do? What should I say?

Mickey: You’re gonna eat lightning and crap thunder!
Shmuck: wtf?

Mickey: Women weaken legs
Shmuck: is that why I’m sitting down?

Mickey: Shutup and Get in There!
Shmuck: You’re Right!

I turn to the girl and now she’s sitting back in the row with her obnoxious friend who took my hat (by the way…she’s busted). She looked at me but I didn’t say anything. I hear her busted friend muster “is he cute?” So they tap on my shoulder and at that exact point Leon Washington scores and I stood up and cheered totally ignoring any advances both girls were making.

: Down! Down! Stay Down! You Bum

So yea, I’m a bum and I didn’t talk to either girl for the rest of the game, especially because after that Pennington and company took over.

- Next drive Pennington throws (under throws) as far as he could to Ted Ginn Jr. for 44 yards. Ah yes the floater, I can’t recall how many times it worked while he was a Jet but I can bet you he had more interceptions than positive yardage as a result.
- And just like that he throws a touchdown pass in the corner of the endzone to Fasano. Our section goes nuts. All of a sudden Fasano comes our way; he knew what section we were going to be in. He throws the ball in the stands to one of his buddies. That was pretty cool.

- Fight # 4 – So Fasano’s friend, who was supposed to get the ball, didn’t. The fans in the 2nd row did and they weren’t giving up the ball, rightfully so. If I got a ball I wouldn't give it up either; alright maybe to that little kid who I knocked over to obtain the ball but if theres no kids, I'm going for the ball like a meathead in a mash pit. Now security gets involved and they were nice enough to get the ball out of the fans hands and give it to Fasano’s friend/cousin, I forget what he was. The fan that got the ball taken away was pissed, yelling and cursing to the event staff personnel. Those are the last guys you want to piss off. Of course he starts pushing and shoving other people and giving us dirty looks; bye asshole!

- 4th quarter comes along and nothing is really happening, a lot of 3 and outs. Favre throwing priceless interceptions. The 3rd one was the icing on the cake. The expression on Coles’ face was like “wtf?!

- At this point the "Lets Go Dolphins" chants started to errupt. They were actually louder than the Jets and that was just sad. Please let this game end now because at least if the Jets lose then the Patriots don't make the playoffs and I'd much rather see Miami make it then those Massholes.

- Seasons over, empty the lockers and polish the golf clubs and get the hell out!

So i'm done, there's no use in crying over spilt milk. The Jets are a cursed franchise and I'll have nothing to look forward too until April when the Jets will waste their 1st round draft pick, no matter who their coach is.

Head Coach Potentials:

Cowher - I think his name only surfaced to bring hope to Jet fans. But realistically that wouldn't happen. Just remember Jet fans, Brady's back next season :::::::F*CK::::::::
Shanahan - If the Jets wanted to win now he could be the man to make it possible. The Jets can't afford to take another chance on a rookie head coach with little coaching experience

Schottenheimer - This is unless his son doesn't want the job. I hope his son doesn't want the job. His play calling was horrible.

Rex Ryan - Well, at least the 3-4 defense would be more effective. SIGN TERRELL SUGGS!

Steve Spagnuolo - There will be quite a few teams looking at him. The Giants have been blessed to have him for these last few seasons.

Bill Callahan - Currently was the Jets assistant headcoach and offensive line coach. He also coached the Raiders to the superbowl the following season after Gruden left. He's my vote currently if they can't obtain Spags.

I don't know much about college football but I don't know if it would be wise for the Jets to take any chances.

WHAT TO DO - I'm not sure what the Cap will be next year but because of Tannenbaum's shopping spree this year but I'm sure the Jets won't have much room to play with

Brett Favre - DROP/CUT/RETIRE - No one questions your toughness but when you're playing with an injury and hurting your teams chances of winning you have to be benched. F*ck your streak of most games played. Thomas Jones doesn't talk a lot but he's surely said enough these past few days to cause some controversy. Frankly it sucks to be a Jet player right now (and a fan). Maybe Coles was right? Doochebag. He's $13 million against the cap, and no penalty if the Jets drop him, if he retires the Jets don't have to pay him nothing and they also get a 7th round pick from Green Bay.

Laverneus Coles - HOLD - He's not a #1 wide receiver although he's getting paid like one. He's guaranteed $7 million so cutting him would be a waste. They still need to draft another big target for whoever the quarterback is to throw too.

David Barrett - CUT - He's declining and his $3.6 million is a waste considering he's a backup safety.

RESIGN - David Clowney, Wallace Wright.

LET GO - Eric Barton, Bubba Franks, Mike Nugent, Brad Smith
Bart Scott - LB - Ravens will more than likely resign him but he fits the middle inside linebacker nicely and is a an upgrade over Barton
Terrell Suggs - LB/DE - He's going to be looking for a huge payday and he'll probably get it. The Jets can't afford it
Albert Haynesworth - DT - Yea he won't be available but imagine him lining up next to Jenkins? That's scarier than Kevin and Pat Williams!!!
Bertrand Berry -DT/DE - Played the 3-4 well in Arizona with Calvin Pace.
Karlos Dansby - LB - A quick outside linebacker who can also play inside and help cover the TE better
Jermaine Phillips - S/CB - Eric Smith and Abram Elam don't look to be the answer next to Rhodes. Phillips would be a nice upgrade.

1 comment:

devo said...

No mention of lil mangold?