Friday, January 2, 2009

Reasons for an otherwise bored Giants fan to root for or against every NFL team this football weekend



For: Rookie quarterback, meet the Spags defense, with two weeks of preparation to boot. The Giants will spot you an 80 yard Michael Turner touchdown so long as Matty Ice promises to act his age and spread the turnovers around.
Against: What if Matt Ryan pulls a Dan Marino and really is the next great thing? What if he and fantasy-RB-of-the-year Michael Turner run roughshod over a Giants defense that hasn't shown its dominance in a few weeks?

Kurt Warner needs 75 degree weather, no wind, low humidity, and nothing but brown M&Ms in the pre-game candy jar in order to have a good game. Good luck getting the Giants locker room kids to sort out the pre-game candy jar for ya. Oh, and it may not be 75 degrees in January in East Rutherford.
Against: Um, overconfident and looking ahead to the NFC Championship game? That's all I got for negatives.

Yeah, the Giants lost to them once at home, big deal. You think this coaching staff is going to let that happen again? The biggest problem for Philly-they showed how to attack this team. Spags & Co. will do everything in their power to plug the holes that previously existed. Oh, and Antonio Pierce is apparently learning how to play with an indictment hanging over his head. Dude's a total professional.
Against: You mean besides the fact that they're basically the only team still playing who has beaten the Giants? How about the fact that Westbrook is healthy and that McNabb is starting to get his mojo back? I'm trading in my McNabb jersey from last week for a Peterson jersey this weekend.

Remember that loss the Giants suffered last week? Well 1) it was in Minnesota, 2) the weather was 72 without wind, and 3) the Vikings barely won, narrowly beating Big Blue's second team by a field goal. Oh, and if Minnesota beats Philly, the Giants avoid one of two teams in the NFC with a reasonable chance of beating a well prepared Giants team.
Against: A loss is a loss, and the Vikings starters have clearly shown the ability to outplay the Giants second team. So if Pierce, Tuck, Kiwanuka, Robbins, Cofield, Webster, and Ross are all out, look out Big Blue Nation! Call me crazy, but I give Tavaris & Co. a slight edge over Tollefson, Wynn, Kehl, Goff, and a McQuarters-led secondary.


San Diego
Norv Turner in a Super Bowl, Norv Turner in a Super Bowl, and last but not least, Norv Turner trying to coach his team to a Super Bowl victory.
Against: Philip Rivers is an absolute douche. Not only don't I want the obnoxious media buildup of Manning vs. Rivers, I really don't want Rivers to come close to having a leg up on Manning. Ever. Next issue.

Remember how whenever the Williams sisters faced each other, talent always went out the window and the winner was always the sister who sucked less because both of them hated playing against each other? Well hopefully the same thing will happen between Eli and Peyton. And I'd take our running game and defense over the under performing Addai and Bob Sanders-reliant defense.
Against: NFW I wouldn't (want to) head to Europe for the two weeks before this game simply to avoid all the Manning love. Seriously, if I knew going in that the Giants would lose the game, I'd probably rather send Carolina to Tampa just to avoid said Manning love.

A Super Bowl XXXV rematch might be the best way to turn BH and Mahatma into diehard Eli fans. And frankly, I want to see Ray Lewis make excuses for why THE GREATEST RUN DEFENSE OF ALL TIME got served twice in the same season by the same 270 lb. Super Bowl MVP.
Against: Remember Super Bowl XXXV? The only reason I didn't care about that loss was because the Giants were lucky to be in the Super Bowl that year. This year? Not so much. It would be awful. Almost as bad as being a Steelers fan and seeing the Ravens beat them two weeks previous in the AFC Championship game.

I refuse to believe Chad Pennington wins a Super Bowl. I don't even want to devote any more time to this. It's a waste of time.
Against: You know what sucks? Having family in South Florida rub in the '03 World Series every time I go down to visit. Now here's my question: how much would they rub it in if South Florida defeated New York in a sport that Floridians actually cared about? This ranks up there with a Palestinian takeover of Jerusalem or New Jersey on a list of things I refuse to acknowledge even potentially occurring. Ever.

Oh, and my actual picks:
Atlanta (-2.5) over ARIZONA 41-24
SAN DIEGO (+1) over Indy 17-16
MIAMI (+3) covers but loses to Baltimore 13-12
Philly (-3) over MINNESOTA 27-10

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