SHMUCKS PLAYOFFS PICKS BROUGHT TO YOU BY YOUR MOM

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (-1) vs. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

It's the battle of the ugliest uniforms vs the coolest uniforms of the NFL (my personal opinion). Seriously, all gay jokes aside for my color display of this matchup, are there any teams playing better football than these two going into the playoffs? Indy, led by their face of the NFL MVP Peyton "Soon to be the next John Madden" Manning have won 9 games in a row! And four weeks ago San Diego was 4-8 and practically eliminated from the playoffs. But yet here they're, battling once again for a chance at Superbowl Glory.

Injuries will play a huge part for the outcome of this game. Colts are going to be without 2 of their starting lineman as well as starting middle linebacker and Rutgers Alum Gary Brackett. Chargers just reported Tomlinson has a torn tendon in his knee but he expects to play. Yea right, it'll just be like the last 2 seasons, he'll run the ball 4-5 times and eventually he'll sit and cry like a baby. I bet the Chargers front office are really kicking themselves they didn't keep Turner now. Is it safe to say that L.T. is on the decline? I think so.

There's a reason why he was named MVP. Without him this team is just as bad as the Jets (Shmuck sheds a tear). Even without 2 of his starting lineman, Manning will be going up against the worst pass rush and pass defense in the league. It's amazing how one player, Shawn "I like Steroids" Merriman can make a difference to a defense. Both teams are going to score a lot of points but it comes down to who do you want to have the ball with less than 2 minutes in the 4th quarter and down by 4. I choose Favr....I mean Manning.

Colts 37, Chargers 31

Other Picks because your mom loves sloppy seconds:

Atlanta Falcons (-2) vs. Arizona Cardinals

Cardinals better hope Anquan Boldin plays. That's all I have to say.

Cardinals 29, Falcons 24

Baltimore Ravens (-3) vs. Miami Dolphins

Baltimore is too good on defense to let the Wildcat offense run all over them. Pennington won't overthrow Ed Reed, he will throw right to him

Ravens 27, Dolphins 13

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) vs. Minnesota Vikings

If Eagles stop Peterson, they stop the Vikings. McNabb will fuck up next week when they travel to the Meadowlands to play the Giants.

Eagles 27, Vikings, 16