The Top 9 NY/NJ Professional Teams of 2008

THE CHAMPS

Good See: Tyree, David. And this.

Bad Um, they lost two in a row recently. And there was about 12.5 days this year in which I wanted Coughlin and Eli off the team. And it was cold at the stadium the last two games.

THE ARIZONA CARDINALS DIVISION
Because when every other team embarasses themselves something awful, someone has to do well, right?

RANGERS

Good: One of two local teams to meet or surpass expectations this year finishing the ’07-’08 season as arguably the second best team in the East, a few “interesting” calls away from truly battling the Pens.

Bad: They’re the second best team in the East this year, but they also have about 4-5 games in hand on the Devils and Flyers with few points separating them. The main bullet point here is that they should be a 4^th or 5^th seed by the time the season ends, and may even be the 4^th best team in the Atlantic Division.

DEVILS

Good: Probably the best of the 5 NBA/NHL local teams right now. Setting themselves up for a deep playoff run in ’09 with Parise playing at Hart Trophy levels and Elias returning to his old form. With Brodeur coming back in March, he should be well rested for the first time in about 14 years heading into the playoffs.

Bad: You mean besides losing their Hall of Fame Goaltender for most of the season? Besides losing their entire free agency class for a few months in a year when the Devils have a rare positive offseason? How about bowing out of the playoffs embarrassingly quickly to the Rangers and Judas Gomez? Yeah, that’s bad.

Nets

Good: They have a team that at the very least is fun to root for and showcases some young talent in all-star Devo Harris, Brook Lopez, and the fundamentally awful-but-improving Yi Jianlan. Even Vince Carter’s face doesn’t make me change the channel anymore.

Bad: This team is still probably no better than a 7 seed and will only see the 2^nd round if Devo outplays Lebron. They’ll also only make the playoffs if they learn to win at home. Who knew the friendly confines of the Izod Center wouldn’t constitute a decisive home court advantage? And the Nets are clearing cap space for the 2010 run of free agents, but with the team more likely to be playing in East Rutherford or Newark than Brooklyn, why would any franchise-changing free agent want to play here?

EMBARRASSED THEMSELVES WORSE THAN BRITNEY SPEARS DIVISION

METS
Good: Over the past year, they obtained the best starter in the game, a record-setting reliever, and a second legitimate closer. Had a much better (or less gluttonous) off-season than their Bronx counterparts, addressing actual needs and not becoming the face of everything wrong with baseball. On a scale of 1-10, their GM ranks at least 4 points less clueless than the Cash Man.

Bad: Said starter was the only player who showed up in September. The reason they got both relievers is the fact that this bullpen took 5 years off of MissMet’s life. Their collapse would have been much more historic if fans had not witnessed the same thing the previous year.

Knicks

Good: Stripping the team of all its talent so that in 20 months, Lebron, Bosh, and Steve Nash can be Knicks. Seriously, that's as close as I can come to finding a positive.

Bad: See Good. Also, the sad truth is that this team is playing better with filler players than when they had actual players last year. The team has been so bad recently that this current incarnation of players has fans thinking, eh, what’s 20 months? And on a personal note, thanks to Donnie Walsh, Mike D’Antoni, and the Detroit Lions, they’re in danger of not being the most embarrassing organization in professional sports, ending a fantastic era in this blogger’s mind.

Jets

Good: For about 5 minutes before the media overhyped it, the Brett Favre trade was really cool. Just like I had two weeks in which I wanted Eli and Coughlin out of New York, there were two weeks in which I thought the Jets were Tampa-bound. At least this team did the right thing very quickly and got rid of Mangini.

Bad: This team took more years off of SHMUCK’s life than the Mets took from MissMet. Brett Favre is old, Eric Mangini sucked, Vernon Gholston hasn’t shown anything yet, and this team made enough free agent signings that they’re built for now. Except that they’re not winning, and had it not been for Dick Jauron’s idiocy, they wouldn’t have won since before Thanksgiving. The Knicks are ranked higher because they have a better future than the Jets. The only thing weirder than writing that last sentence is being 72% sure that it is accurate.

Yankees

Good: Say what you want about the Yankees, but a) but for the D-Rays, they probably would have made the playoffs, b) they got the best free agent arms available in C.C. and Burnett, and c) they made the right move, picking a 28 year old Gold Glove lefty power hitter over a player who, like the rest of America, goes on vacation every August.

Bad: Where to begin…Ok, how about that they could have had the best pitcher in the game in exchange for a 4^th outfielder, Mark Prior 2K8, and a POTENTIAL 6^th starter who is hated by his teammates more than Carl Pavano. Or that they missed the playoffs for the first time since I was in middle school. But for my money, the problem is that this team is so rudderless right now, spending money like a drunken sailor at very imperfect players who have tons of flaws. When you’re the Yankees, you’re impervious to the troubled economy, but it’s still embarrassing to watch them bid against themselves for C.C., Burnett, and Texiera. This team still has loads of talent but is becoming an embarrassment to justify.

Howards End theory

Some have compared sports to theater, only with an unscripted ending. Howards End was some Oscar Nominated movie from 10 years ago that seemed amazingly boring and irrelevant such that I made a point of never seeing it. It seemed irrelevant and boring, and a waste of time to even think about. And now, their sports equivalent…

The New York Islanders!

Because if sports is theater, this is the type of movie in which I fall asleep ten minutes in.