Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Public Service Announcement

So I thought it would go away. But it hasn't. And I feel like the problem is getting worse. This problem is infiltrating all aspects of our society. It's already found its way into one of my favorite hobbies (drinking) and I'm terrified that it is only a matter of time before it infiltrates something else I hold near and dear, the world of sports.

So I'm calling upon you fellow sports fans to help me. This problem is pure evil. The mere thought of it invokes nightmares. It spans generations. Young and old alike.

If you haven't figured out what I'm talking about yet, it's the Snuggie. At first, I thought it was a cruel joke. Then I slowly started to realize that people were serious about this thing. A freaking blanket with sleeves?? You've got to be kidding me. Then I thought, well at least its appeal is limited to crazy people. But you know what? People that I (once) viewed as sane, logical individuals started telling me they wanted one or thought they were a great idea. UM NO! In the god awful commercial (one that almost parodies itself) for these things, it shows people at a sporting event wearing them. "Great for outdoors!" You know what else is great for outdoors? A COAT! And guess what… it also has sleeves! And you don't look like you're in some weird Scientology sect.

With spring baseball weather always questionable, and football season just around the corner (fall will be here sooner than you think), not to mention those cold rinks you'll all no doubt be visiting for the NHL playoffs, I'm terrified these atrocities are going to start showing up in the stands. So my call to you, loyal readers, is this:

The first time you spot one of these when you're in the stands cheering on your favorite team, and you know it's going to happen sooner or later, put a stop to it. I don't care if it’s a man twice your size, a woman, or a child. You must remedy the situation. Punch them in the face. Throw your beer on them. Squirt stadium mustard in the shape of a "z", Zorro style, all over it. (or maybe an "s", for snuggie). Whatever you do, make sure this person knows what a douche bag they are. Teach them a lesson. If not, this may be our future:

As if A.Rod isn't embarassing enough*

*Note: No Yankees fans were harmed in the posting of this blog.


devo said...

Do people really wear these out of the house? I'll admit, I have one of these, and it's amazingly comfortable, but I would never rock this in public.

White Boy South Bronx said...

Wow, where have I been? Oh and for that matter Devo, where do you wear this monstrosity??

devo said...

In the house when it's cold. It's basically a blanket with sleeves.

Mahatma said...

Damn. I guess you guys don't want to do a snuggie bar crawl?

For the record, I've seen about two of those now in about 2 months. Pathetic...