Friday, April 17, 2009

Vigilante Hero or Power Hungry Rapist?

A hairdresser from the small Russian town of Meshchovsk has subdued a man who tried to rob her shop, and then raped him for three days in the utility room, reports.

The incident occurred on Saturday, March 14. The working day was coming to an end at a small hairdressers, when a man armed with a gun rushed in and demanded the day’s earnings.

The frightened employees and customers agreed to fulfill his demand, but when the shop’s owner, 28-year-old Olga, was handing the money to the robber, she suddenly knocked him down on the floor and then tied him up with a hairdryer cord. The 32-year-old Viktor couldn’t have known that the woman was a yellow belt in karate.

Olga locked the unlucky robber in the utility room and told her colleagues that she was going to call the police – but didn’t do so. When everybody left home, she approached the man and ordered him to ‘take of his underpants’ threatening to hand him over to the police if he refuses to cooperate.

After that Olga raped her hostage for three long days. She chained Viktor to the radiator with pink furry handcuffs and fed him Viagra.

Olga was resentful when she was taken by the police.

“What a bastard,” the woman said about Viktor. “Yes, we had sex a couple of times. But I’ve bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1.000 roubles (around $ 30) when he left.”

You will find no bigger opponent of rapists than yours truly, and no one more for womens liberation and equal treatment (Hey ladies, lets talk about it over a glass of Courvoisier on the bear skin rug in front of my fireplace). But Im torn on this one. It seems to me that this chick just hadn't gotten laid in awhile and had seen one too many bondage porn movies, so she jumped at her chance to fulfill some fantasies. Shes not a bad looking girl and even bought the dude a new pair of jeans, probably after ripping his original pair off, and buying blue jeans in Russia is like trying to find Mahatma sober. Hell, she fed him and sent the guy away with a tip! Its hard to have a ton of sympathy for the guy and besides, Id have to see what he was wearing to know whether he was asking for it.

But the real culprit here is Pfizer. Viagra is already the most popular drug in the history of mankind, but now that women know they can rape men with it, I fear for society. Im envisioning gangs of women prowling the subways, accosting good-looking men like myself who are just trying to go home at night. It sounds like a terrifying Planet of the Apes type sci-fi movie. Rape is all about power, and women now have the market cornered on power and intelligence. Its all downhill for us from here fellas.

All the other evidence aside, I think the pink furry handcuffs will be what sets her free. Just too playful to be taken seriously. Judge- "Olga, could you come with me back into my chambers and show me exactly what you did to the robber?".


Anonymous said...

Holy Pulp Fiction Batman.


Anonymous said...

What kind of tough guy is this anyway? Dont little kids have yellow belts? -BH