Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Morning Bullshitting..w/ Mahatma

So okay, Devo referred to this before but let the true star of the Pittsburgh Pirates get involved with this since it covers two of my favorite things, baseball and indian people.

Anyway, so yea in case you don't care about the Pirates (HELLO AMERICA), let give you some backstory.

I first received a call last weekend from GM, Neil Huntington but I deferred to my agent because a big time advertising exec like myself had a pitch to do all weekend. Suffice to say, my agent dropped the ball on this and for that i'm angry. My hinducurve has knocked out some of the best hitters in the game (Ramirez, Manny, Rodriguez, Alex, Boy, White) but I never expected those dominating performances to see the light out of day. Yet here I am, missing out on playing A ball while I need to put in some 80 hour weeks.

Being the first choice, the Buccos went on to their alternatives. Apu had to work a double so he was out of the running.

But alas two young green horns (shouldn't that be brown horns? yuck yuck yuck) who apparently won a REALITY TV SHOW in India. Yes only the Pirates would agree to allow these guys to actively participate in their minor league system. The Pirates PR spin was in full effect. Take a look at some of these gems:

"The Pirates are committed to creatively adding talent to our organization," general manager Neal Huntington said in a statement. "By adding these two young men, we are pleased to not only add two prospects to our system but also hope to open a pathway to an untapped market."

Yea Neil, GREAT idea. We all know of that India is the world's hot bed of baseball and it's really really popular. I mean sure some people there play a game called cricket but who cares. Baseball is India's past time. This is like saying uh we signed devo and SHMUCK because it opens a pathway to an untapped market like Summitt, NJ. The fact of the matter is that when other teams are in central america/cuba, the Pittsburgh Pirates are blazing new trails! What's next? How about Artica (not the bar you trendy douches)? That's an untapped resource right there! Perhaps we can sign the first ever eskimo to a contract as well! I mean sure we'd be adding more quality prospects OH YEA! Sure they are young and all but come on man. India? Really? Sure they have upside but this is America...we are all mediocrity personified.

Anyway, they have a blog that's kindof amusing in the same way I laugh at my cousins for speaking english and they laugh at me for speaking hindi.

Let me echo wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Food, football, sleep and shopping. It's going to be a good weekend...provided anyone can afford to buy anything with this economic crisis and all. Alas, don't worry SUS nation, credit cards were invented for this very reason.

Good fight and good night!


devo said...

Just for the record, SHMUCK and I were fantastic players on some awful little league teams. Kinda like the Jason Bay and Nate McLouth of our day, to keep with this pirate theme.

And it's Summit. One 'T' douchebag.

White Boy South Bronx said...

I'm assuming your listing of players you struck out were in ascending order of greatness..