I notice that I always read articles or blogs about who is the most valuable player in football. Frankly, I’m tired of it. I want to read about who is the least valuable player in all of football. Well I said fuck it; I’ll make up my own list.
Shawn Merriman, LB, Chargers: No steroids mean lights out for this bum LVP. With his stupid lights out dance and overrated play, this man deserves a spot on this list. Oh yea, and he got JACKED UP by Maurice Jones Drew. A 5ft 6in 180lb midget going up against this Roid boy and he got dominated.
Roy Williams, SS, Cowboys: All I can say is the best play he’s ever made came off the field marrying one of the nappy headed ho’s from Destiny’s Child. Did you know that on 3rd downs he plays linebacker?!?! I mean 6 or so years in the league and he still can’t cover against the double move. Just flat out overrated and slow.
Matt Jones, WR/RB/K/P/QB, Jaguars: Remember all the hype about him on how versatile he was especially for his size (6ft 5, 4.39 40, plays all positions)? Remember when he actually contributed to helping the jaguars win? No, me neither because he hasn’t nor probably never will. I consider him the catalyst for these all-in-one type players in the league and he’s nothing more than another bad white boy receiver.
Ray Lewis, LB, Ravens: The man is past his prime and has lost a couple steps. Apparently he added them to his dumb pregame dance. I think that spastic display of homo eroticism is the bird call for all fags in the stands. I just hope one day he gets hurt doing it. He’s always injured and as of now is just a waste of cap space.
Byron Leftwhich, QB, Falcons: I think for 5 minutes in the NFL he was actually considered a top 5 QB. And then Sean Salisbury stopped talking. Granted the guy has cannon for an arm, but just doesn’t make smart decisions and still plays with the head of a rookie. He’s similar to Bledsoe who just sits in the pocket and holds on to the ball toooooo long.
DeAngelo Hall, CB, Falcons: I’m sorry but when you lose a game for your team by a pass interference call and then a penalty for running your mouth off because he said something about your baby’s mama, then you really deserve a smack in the face and to be on one of the worst teams in the NFL. There is just no reason for you to try and explain yourself, you are a dooooche bag!
Javon Kearse, DE, Eagles: For the highest paid DE in football I think you should be a starter no? Chunky soup called, McNabb wants his endorsement back
Rex Grossman, QB, Bears: I think it’s about time they make Devin Hester the QB. He’s the only offensive production they’ve had in the past few weeks (all season possibly). Maybe he can manifest something because Grossman certainly can’t. Paging Jim Miller, Mr. Miller?
Mike Williams, RT, ???: Who?
Mike Williams, WR, ???: You see a trend here? Imagine if you were smart enough to stay in college one more year (or even attend USC you wonder) what your career would be like instead. CFL is in your future my friend.
Lamont Jordan, RB, Raiders: Talk about a 180 for this guy. Up until week 4 this man was leading the NFL in rushing and a solid fantasy contributor. Now all he rushes is to get his teammates water because this fool doesn’t even suit up. Is he injured? No, not on the report, he’s just simply lost it. Curtis Martin called; he needs your knees because he could at least still hack it.
Shawn Merriman, LB, Chargers: No steroids mean lights out for this bum LVP. With his stupid lights out dance and overrated play, this man deserves a spot on this list. Oh yea, and he got JACKED UP by Maurice Jones Drew. A 5ft 6in 180lb midget going up against this Roid boy and he got dominated.
Roy Williams, SS, Cowboys: All I can say is the best play he’s ever made came off the field marrying one of the nappy headed ho’s from Destiny’s Child. Did you know that on 3rd downs he plays linebacker?!?! I mean 6 or so years in the league and he still can’t cover against the double move. Just flat out overrated and slow.
Matt Jones, WR/RB/K/P/QB, Jaguars: Remember all the hype about him on how versatile he was especially for his size (6ft 5, 4.39 40, plays all positions)? Remember when he actually contributed to helping the jaguars win? No, me neither because he hasn’t nor probably never will. I consider him the catalyst for these all-in-one type players in the league and he’s nothing more than another bad white boy receiver.
Ray Lewis, LB, Ravens: The man is past his prime and has lost a couple steps. Apparently he added them to his dumb pregame dance. I think that spastic display of homo eroticism is the bird call for all fags in the stands. I just hope one day he gets hurt doing it. He’s always injured and as of now is just a waste of cap space.
Byron Leftwhich, QB, Falcons: I think for 5 minutes in the NFL he was actually considered a top 5 QB. And then Sean Salisbury stopped talking. Granted the guy has cannon for an arm, but just doesn’t make smart decisions and still plays with the head of a rookie. He’s similar to Bledsoe who just sits in the pocket and holds on to the ball toooooo long.
DeAngelo Hall, CB, Falcons: I’m sorry but when you lose a game for your team by a pass interference call and then a penalty for running your mouth off because he said something about your baby’s mama, then you really deserve a smack in the face and to be on one of the worst teams in the NFL. There is just no reason for you to try and explain yourself, you are a dooooche bag!
Javon Kearse, DE, Eagles: For the highest paid DE in football I think you should be a starter no? Chunky soup called, McNabb wants his endorsement back
Rex Grossman, QB, Bears: I think it’s about time they make Devin Hester the QB. He’s the only offensive production they’ve had in the past few weeks (all season possibly). Maybe he can manifest something because Grossman certainly can’t. Paging Jim Miller, Mr. Miller?
Mike Williams, RT, ???: Who?
Mike Williams, WR, ???: You see a trend here? Imagine if you were smart enough to stay in college one more year (or even attend USC you wonder) what your career would be like instead. CFL is in your future my friend.
Lamont Jordan, RB, Raiders: Talk about a 180 for this guy. Up until week 4 this man was leading the NFL in rushing and a solid fantasy contributor. Now all he rushes is to get his teammates water because this fool doesn’t even suit up. Is he injured? No, not on the report, he’s just simply lost it. Curtis Martin called; he needs your knees because he could at least still hack it.
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1 comment:
And the chick in the photo, Mrs. SHMUCK?
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