Friday, September 5, 2008

The Brooklyn Hillbilly's Week 1 Picks

This weeks picks brought to you by Kentucky bourbon

Howdy y'all. I'm drunk and I really can't think of anything better to do than make some football picks! I know, I need some friends. But if you're like me, you just spent an hour watching a depressing Vietnam War movie called "The 2008 Republican National Convention"(though it wasn't nearly as dismal as the first installment- DNC '04). I'm also listening to Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg's masterpiece "The Chronic" right now, and it occurred to me that this album is exactly as old as Sarah Palin's expectant daughter. Not that theres anything wrong with that. Anyway, enough politics from me(HA! You got two more months of this shit coming), its time for the Week 1 picks:

Tim definitely has better taste in women. Or is that their mom?

Seattle at Buffalo
Mike Holmgrens Seahawks have gotten comfortable as the leading team in the NFC West. Year in and out, they field a solid but not spectacular team and win the shittiest division in the NFL. Now, we all know that competition breeds quality and monopolies breed complacency. I just don't like the look of this Seahawk team this year, its like Holmgren is trying to squeak by on the cheap this year. Well, it wont work. Injuries have already ravaged a thin WR corps, and that will hurt them this week vs a Bills team that is trying to get out of New England's shadow. A couple good draft years have given Buffalo a team that can compete with most of the league, even if they wont be challenging the Patriots for a division crown. The Bills running game will be the star of the show on Sunday, with a lightly seasoned(9 starts last year) Trent Edwards doing his best to stay out of Marshawn Lynch's way. However, Edwards will define this team as the year progresses; Buffalo is hoping there is no Sophomore slump. Nothing will kill an up and comer like their QB of the future falling apart in Week 3. I see the Bills pulling this one off and gaining some confidence, even as they lose fans because the franchise is sleeping with another city(Toronto). Bills in an upset 17-14.

Big girls need love too

Houston at Pittsburgh
I don't know how I feel about Peter King picking OLB Lamar Woodley to have a breakout year for the Steelers. He had some great flashes when they let him play last year, and hes gonna get some more PT this year, but something makes me uneasy about the shout-out. I guess Ive just gotten used to the national football writers sorta forgetting about Pittsburgh(I'm looking at you Simmons, though it was nice of you to predict 39 TDs for "Ben" this year) and hyping Cleveland. Sure, the 'burgh gets credit for having a solid D and great offensive potential, but the steady even nature of the franchise(read: less arrests than the Bengals) leads to a bit of an overlook. Now, I know my colleague Mahatma is feeling melancholic about this year already, along with the rest of our Sunday Steelers cabal, but I have to disagree. Maybe its the Jim Beam, maybe its just because its Thursday and I get paid tomorrow, but I think this team can do something this year. Sure, its hard to run a great offense when the right side of the O-line is weaker than a 12 year-old girl, but great offensive weapons can mask inadequacies on the line. I think we see Pittsburgh get started this season with a killer performance, showcasing a tough running game and an explosive aerial attack. The defense will smother Matt Schaub and hold Ahman Green and Steve Slaton to under 75 yards on the ground. Mario Williams will get at least one sack, but I see Roethlisberger throwing for at least 2 scores. Optimistic? Sure. Crazy? Maybe. But I think(hope) this team is going to put a lot of points on the board this year, weak o-line or not. And lets not forget that for most of last year, the D was playing better than some of the Steel Curtain teams from the 70s. Even with the hardest schedule in the league, Ill predict this team makes it to the AFC Championship game. The march starts Sunday with the Steelers covering 6.5 and beating the Texans 31-14


devo said...

If that's not Hasselbeck's mother, Matt has some mommy issues.

Mahatma said...

That picture makes it tough to be a steeler fan sometimes.

The Yinzer said...

I thought that was Casey Hampton at first, then i noticed she wasnt black. (cringes)