Wednesday, November 5, 2008
An Open Letter to President Elect Obama from SUS Nation
Dear President Elect Obama,
First off, congrats on your historic win. We are all very happy and blessed to be here in this historic and amazing time and blah blah blah...
But most importantly, you've managed to win the election by catering to minorities, women, and a bunch of other groups. But if there's one thing that has been proven, it is that Joe Sixpack and Joe Plumber may speak for some groups out there, but only I, DEVO, speak for SUS Nation. And as such, I have a demand. Now, I'm not big on making threats, but as the leader of a sports blogging conglomerate, I have to think that if you want to be celebrating four years from now, you'd be wise to listen to me. After all, as I previously have stated, forget Joe Plumber or Joe Sixpack; as Devo goes, so goes the nation.
We at SUS Nation demand an evil sports tax. What we mean by this is that every piece of Rangers, Flyers, Eagles, Cowboys, Patriots, Celtics, Red Sox, Phillies, (and for the Pitt. delegation) Ravens, and Browns paraphernalia, these items receive a 60% tax. Why tax the $250K+ when you can simply tax the douchebags of the world? It's like being Robin Hood, but with a stronger moral compass. And it is up to you, Senator Obama, to use the evil sports tax to save America. Because even if we can't get rid of the axis of evil, we can certainly piss off the true evil in this world: dumbass sports fans.
Devo and the rest of the SUS Staff