Thursday, April 24, 2008

White Boy and the rest of Gmen Nation are idiots. Of course Shockey should be traded.

There are many reasons to keep Jeremy Shockey in blue next year. Some of them are rational, but most of them involve irrational thought and the word “mancrush.” Put simply, there are more reasons to trade him. I honestly didn’t believe this was true until I started writing this. Here they are:

1. They don’t need him.

Last I heard, they held their own without him. Two damn good tight ends would be nice. It’s the kind of thing that the Yankees and Red Sox would do if they were NFL franchises. Unfortunately, there’s a salary cap, so why put that kind of money into TE when it can be placed on the o-line or our secondary?

2. He’s a distraction. Maybe.

Look, I’ve heard reports that Shockey is a distraction. I’ve also heard reports that if Shockey were to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge, there’d be 52 guys in blue doing the same thing. So maybe he’s loved, maybe he’s seen as a distraction. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But Eli did play better without Mancrush yelling and glaring at him every time he overthrew to Toomer in double coverage.

3. They can get good value for him.

They can either get a young starting safety, Roman Harper, or a second round pick #40 to go with their picks at 31. (If they can get Harper AND the second round pick that Reese is allegedly holding out for, then even the Pro-Shockey camp has to admit this is a deal that you don’t turn down.) Shockey will be 28 in August, and while that’s not old, he has always battled injuries and always will if he maintains his physical style of play. And oh by the way, there’s the broken fibula that he needs to recover from this year.

4. This is a Patriots-cutting-Ty Law-for-the-good-of-the-team move.

Everything about trading Shockey, if it indeed does happen, is the sort of trade that the Patriots would make. Is a guy a distraction? Is he needed? Fine, he’s as good as gone. The Patriots were always cold and calculating in all of their moves, and it allowed them to sustain a dynasty until they met the immovable object known as the ’07 Kevin Boss-led New York Giants.

5. Two tight ends who can catch? Why?

Shockey doesn’t want to be a blocking tight end in this league. It’s a shame, given that he’s very good at, but he also has enough speed to be justify what he’s saying. Kevin Boss has proven that he’s a very good receiving tight end, but probably no more than a decent blocking TE. Many have two quality tight ends, but one of them is almost always a blocking tight end.

6. Salary Cap.

Why put money into the tight end spot if you don’t have to? Why not put it into our secondary or lb corps? Nothing wrong with shedding some excessive cap space.

7. We can draft Dan Connor and Kenny Phillips.

The Giants have two needs in the draft. Safety and linebacker. I’m not Mahatma. I don’t get stopped at the airport because TSA thinks I’m Taliban, and I don’t do mock drafts. But let’s be honest: drafting Penn State linebackers and anyone from Da U is like betting against the white boxer. Usually you’re going to be right. And if we need a backup to Boss, we can get him later, lest we forget that Boss himself was a 4th round pick.


Maureen said...

i hope they trade him to the Eagles and we somehow win the superbowl with his nasty white trash ass. just to piss you off.

devo said...

I hope you die. I felt so dirty after writing this article that I needed a long shower.