Russia needs to calm the fuck down

In between Michael Phelps races over the past week, you might have heard that Russia invaded a small country to their south called Georgia on the first day of the Olympics. Its a baller move, Ill be the first to admit it, but they still haven't stopped after a week and a half of ass-kicking. Now, the Russians are trying a similar move on the hockey players of North America by having their hockey league illegally sign players already under contract with NHL teams. They are offering $1m bonuses to players that "defect". Not only are they signing players, they are holding a draft for next season that will include players in the NHL, divvying up American and Canadian hockey like Stalin did to Eastern Europe. I'm sorry, but if this isn't a new Cold War, I don't know what is. Frankly, I think that having Canada as part of the NHL is what emboldened the Russians here, they frankly just aren't that intimidating. We need to step up, appoint Donald Rumsfeld the new commissioner of the NHL and let him take care of business. Its the only thing that we can do as proud Americans.