Sunday, November 9, 2008

Fredo Picks (Table for Two)

Welcome once again to SUS's 2nd newest weekly literary feature, The Fredo Picks. BH is unavailable because he's going on a hunger strike until John McCain is placed in his rightful place at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, so it's Devo v. Mahatma this week.

Baltimore (-1) at Houston

Devo: In a duel between The Wire's Omar and your random Wild West Bandit (WWB) WWB tries to take 5 steps away before turning around and firing. Omar puts a shotgun shell in his back by step #2. Pick: Baltimore
Chances are Omar makes out with the WWB and gets shot by WWB’s brokeback partner. Pick: Houston

Carolina (-9) at Oakland

Devo: You'll be hard pressed to find a Fredo pick against Carolina cheerleading lesbians. Pick: Carolina
Mahatma: While Oakland has cheerleaders, they certainly don’t rock out in the bathroom like they do in Carolina. Pick: Carolina

Seattle (+8.5) at Miami

Devo: Sure, Seattle in the early 90's rocked. But 2 Live Crew was probably getting more poon. Pick: Miami
Mahatma: Seattle has coffee. Miami has REALLY attractive girls and Dexter! Pick: Miami

Jacksonville (-6.5) at Detroit

Devo: I'm not saying that we at Fredo picks are having trouble finding new ways to point out
that Detroit as a city sucks, but if Roger Goddell gets rid of the Lions, we at Fredo Picks will be doing backflips to celebrate. Pick: Jacksonville
Jacksonville isn’t really heaven on earth either. In fact, Detroit at least has a floundering automotive industry. Jacksonville has a bunch of guys named Jeb and Earl. Pick: Detroit

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