Friday, December 5, 2008

The Brooklyn Hillbilly Wants You To Know His Week 14 Picks

Ahh, its December again. Time for constant Christmas carols, increasing wind, decreasing temperatures and people being stampeded by rabid shoppers(gotta love the lady at :18 losing her wig).

Cincinnati at Indianapolis(-13.5, 42)
How in Gods name can you pick Indy to cover a spread this big? I know, I know, its the Bungles, but still. I guess that's what happens when you win 5 games in a row. But with an average margin of victory at 4 points in those games(and the last 3 vs garbage teams), Peyton and friends cant be inspiring a lot of confidence in gamblers.

But lets be honest, we don't really need to talk about this game specifically, but where the Colts are positioned for the playoffs. Right now, as a 5 seed, the Colts are in line to play in Denver in the Wild Card Round. Of course, the currently 6th seeded Ravens may be playing as a 2 or 3 seed come January, forcing Pittsburgh to the 5 seed and the Colt to 6 and a date with Mrs. John Madden at the Meadowlands. They do not want that to happen. Regardless, the Colts look like they are gonna lose within the first 2 rounds of the playoffs. I like Peyton as much as the next fantasy owner, but this team is just getting lucky. Sure, Manning is winning games for them with sheer will, but that's not going to cut it against Pittsburgh, Tennessee or the Jets in the playoffs. I like this team to keep steady, secure a 5 seed and lose in the first round. Sorry Peyton, my sympathy ends once the fantasy football season does. Y'all will win this one though, if its any consolation. Colts win but still can't cover, 24-17

Still the coolest(and coldest) fan in the NFL

Kansas City at Denver(-8.5, 48.5)
Denver is the poster child for teams that wont make it far in the playoffs. Few teams can match the Jekyll/Hyde dynamic of the Broncos with an explosive offense and a truly horrific defense. They are 26th or worse in every significant defensive category. A week after beating the upstart Falcons, they lost by 3 touchdowns to the Raiders, a team whose head coach pulled a Peter from Office Space to get fired. Then they came back and beat the Jets in Jersey by 17. What can you say about that? It seems there are two teams lurking in that locker room and if Denver wants to get past the first round of the playoffs the one that gives up 400yds and has a -11 turnover differential needs to be killed and dumped in a trash compacter out by the airport on 75th Ave off Pena Blvd.(That's where I dump my dead hookers when I'm in Denver. Good spot to make problems disappear.)

Anyway, this is another team that I just cant get excited about for the playoffs. Theres just too many major flaws to compete with the big 4 in the AFC(yes, I'm actually including Balmor in that group). We all know defense is critical in the playoffs and I just don't see the Broncos bringing it. Don't get me wrong, they could definitely pull an upset by forcing one of those big 4 to get into a shootout, but that will not last them to Tampa. The future of the franchise looks good however, Shanny will have a chance to fill some major holes in the defense this winter and spring and they have what is shaping up to be one of the best QBs in the league. The future is bright Denver, but sunrise is still at least a year away. Again, you will win this week, if that is any consolation. Donkeys kick out the jams 28-17(they finally cover a home game).

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