SIT DOWN WITH SHMUCK

It’s that time of year again my friends, the playoffs are here!

For those of you who were lucky to make the playoffs, congratulations. And may I give a big F U to the Bears defense and Adrian Peterson last week, may you all get herpes.

I may have stated earlier in the year that I took place in 6 different fantasy football leagues this season. I know, you think I’m crazy, well I am. I also have a problem with just saying "no" apparently. If a friend or colleague asks me to fill a spot in their league, I never back down. Consider me the DD for fantasy (oh god that’s corny!).

So of all my leagues I’ve made the playoffs in 4 of them, but unfortunately not are current friendly SUS league (I will never draft a Masshole, Patriot, Cheater ever again). So 4 leagues, three of them chances on winning money; not too shabby.

With the exception of the Chargers and Raiders game (because Jack Daniels forgot to tell me it was Thursday) here are some suggestions on who to play if you’re pondering who to start this weekend in what I’ll call; “SHMUCKS FANTASY FACTOR.”
(I’ll work on a better name next week…or next year)

Now obviously you're going to start players like L.T., Adrian Peterson, Drew Brees etc. regardless. These are the guys who aren't on your "stud" list that you would consider:

START (running backs)

PEYTON HILLIS RB, BRONCOS - The 5th starting running back this season for the Broncos and so far so good. He’s been getting better each and every game, last week, running for a career high 129yds and 2 TD’s

Sammy Morris RB, PATRIOTS - Even though he splits carriers with Faulk and Ben-Jarvis Green, Morris is still #1 on the depth charts. He’s good for a score against a struggling Seahawk defense

LEON WASHINGTON RB, JETS – The running game is not a problem for the Jets. I expect to see a few screens come from the Jets. If LW gets the call, look for him to break one.










SIT

CLINTON PORTIS RB, REDSKINS – Baltimore is the leagues best run defense, end of story. If you have another option don’t hesitate to go with it

MARION BARBER, RB COWBOYS – Broken toe or not, the Cowboys will have a hard time running the football all game against the Steelers.

KEVIN SMITH, RB LIONS – If the suspension of Pat and Kevin Williams were still in effect I would say totally start him but with the Judge’s ruling and both DT’s likely to play I suggest benching every Detroit player you’ve got.

JAMAL LEWIS, RB BROWNS – It’s been a tough season for the Brownies; so much hype for them coming into the season.

START (quarterbacks)

MATT CASSELL QB, PATRIOTS – He’s proven he can play extremely well against non competitive teams. Well the Seahawks are as about as bad as it gets. Oh and did I mention that they are last in the league in pass defense?

KERRY COLLINS QB, TITANS – The Titans are a run first team but Cleveland has been pretty decent against the run at times. They’ll try to make Collins beat them through the air, and he will

BRETT FAVRE QB, JETS – I think Mangini will let the gunslinger loose. The Jets have been cautious with their play calling, plus the running game has been really effective.

SIT

JASON CAMPBELL QB, REDSKINS – He’s a good player but a lousy fantasy contributor.

DONOVAN MCNABB QB, EAGLES – If Westbrook doesn’t play then I would really consider benching McNabb. He wasn’t too horrible in their first meeting and Pierce hasn’t been suspended yet for the Giants

JAKE DELHOMME QB, PANTHERS – Sure the Panthers are a better team when he’s under center but fantasy wise I beg to differ. Plus they play a good Bucs team who shut down Brees and the Saints high-powered passing attack last week

START (wide receivers)

MARQUES COLSTON WR, SAINTS – The game between the Falcons and Saints is going to be a shootout. Brees loves to spread the ball around but his go to guy is still Colston. Lance Moore could take away some endzone touches but I think MC will respond big this weekend.

VINCENT JACKSON WR, CHARGERS – I know, they played already but for your information I totally benched Andre Johnson and started this man instead. 5 catches, 148yds and a Touchdown…BOOO YAHH!!!

BERNARD BERRIAN WR, VIKINGS – I was never high on this guy when he was with the Bears. I’m still not. But he’s playing against Detroit, enough said.

SIT

DWAYNE BOWE WR, CHIEFS – Champ Bailey is back this week and I don’t like Dwayne’s chances. Plus I’m sure the Chiefs will want to run the ball a lot, wear down the defense and keep Cutler and company off the field.

ROY WILLIAMS WR, COWBOYS – I really thought he’d make a bigger impact. But I guess he’s still learning the offense so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Plus T.O. might bitch if he Roy gets more looks than he does

SANTANA MOSS WR, REDSKINS – Ravens are a physical defense. All of their cornerbacks tower over Moss. If the Redskins o-line can give Campbell time to his Moss deep then there’s a chance he’ll be effective, but very unlikely.

START (tight ends)

BO SCAIFE TE, TITANS – Offensive Coordinator Hermeindeger loves to use tight ends. Scaife is the teams leading receiver and has gotten more endzone looks than his counterpart Alge Crumpler. Look for Bo to get in the endzone on Sunday

DUSTIN KELLER TE, JETS – He’s become Favre’s favorite target and if the ol’gunslinger is let loose, I’d make sure Keller is starting especially if the Jets are in the endzone because we all know they don’t run the ball on 3rd and short.

SIT

GREG OLSEN TE, BEARS – He comes, he goes, he comes back again, then he disappears for 3 games. Forte is the only Bear worth starting

KELLEN WINSLOW JR. TE, BROWNS – This distraction hasn’t produced much all season. Of course I finally decide to draft him instead of taking Chris Johnson…HUGE MISTAKE

If you own more than one kicker or defense at this point….I don’t like you and you’re a horrible fantasy player